Streams of Consciousness & Thoughts~~~

Pipp · Jul 6, 2014

Gypsygirl, MissCris, and Catherder: thank you so much for your prayers and encouragement. This afternoon was very stressful but I tried my best to plow my way through it. When the evening came, things got better, though my mom did still put a bit of a damper on it, but none of that matters now.

I am officially a future Mrs.

awesome! Congratulations.

Loveneverfails · Jul 6, 2014

Thanks, Pipp! *hugs*

Ok, I hope this works. I uploaded a couple photos here of some recent summer hikes I've taken. Most recently is our 'secret beach' that I mentioned to Angie in chat tonight.

Arlene89 · Jul 6, 2014

CatHerder said:

Hahaha, we've already gone there.

Arlene89 · Jul 6, 2014

Loveneverfails said:

WOW! Congratulations, Loveneverfails! That is absolutely fantastic news! I'm so happy for you! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-!!!

cinder · Jul 6, 2014

Tintin said:

I ate the cloves by themselves (well there was some olive oil, salt, and pepper on them from the roasting). When they are "roasted" (really it's more of a steamed) in the microwave they lose a lot their potency and develop the consistency of baked potatoes. There may have been some bread with cheese spread as part of that meal also.

lil_christian said:

It's ok to be that way. In fact some of us have such preferences. I don't think there are many people who are always honest when asked how they are. And those who are are disliked for always dumping their problems on people. I tend to love people at a distance, or maybe the idea of people, much more than I enjoy actual interactions with people. Those are messy. And yes i still want to be close to people, but most people are not people I want to be close with. And I think every female on the planet struggles with the idea that if people really knew how messed up I was then it would be too much for them. Sounds like you are pretty normal actually.

I don't know about counseling, but sounds like a grief support group might be good for you. Just somewhere that you can talk to people who are going through a similar situation. My Aunt joined one after her husband died and she said it helped a lot. And it's ok to be angry at God and scream at him and stuff. He can take it. Big hugs, and more hugs after that.

Loveneverfails · Jul 6, 2014

Arlene89 said:

funny, I think I've been making this exact sound all day..

hahaha thank you Arlene! *happy dance*

Arlene89 · Jul 6, 2014

Loveneverfails said:

Oh, I'm going to have to join in with this happy dancing! And eventually when Christian's comfortable, he can join too!
*Shimmies, sprinklers, does the shopping trolley, the worm and some salsa for good measure.*

Arlene89 · Jul 6, 2014

lil_christian said:

I'm sorry, lil_christian, I can't completely understand what it's like to be in your shoes. I don't know what it's like to lose a loved one. But I have some things to share with you.

Firstly, I want to say what you are feeling is normal. Grief takes an ugly course and it demands its time and place in your life. But you can either let that grief consume you, or you can take the ugliness of this situation, and let it grow you. I know, how can good come of complete and utter hurt and loss? You know where I'm going... take it to Him. The One who's been calling your name. The one waiting in patience and long suffering for your glance, for your time, for your heart.

I found that the reasons I would turn and distance myself from God's aching calls is because I hadn't yet had a revelation of Who He is. It's not until my most desperate hour do I step out in blind faith, reaching for Him, not knowing what to expect. But that's where He wants us positioned. In complete and utter trust in Him, to go forth to Him like a child, lil_christian. Do you know He feels your pain? That He watches on wanting to touch those broken pieces of your heart? He has counted your tears and He wants nothing more right now than to wipe them from your cheek.

During the winds and storms, a tree's roots will grow deeper in to the ground. Your mum is rejoicing in God's presence now, in a place absent of fear, sorrow or darkness. You are here, and I know, it's a lonely place, but the Comforter is here with us. He just needs you to trust Him right now so He can do mighty things in you. Leave your heart open to the God who heals, and wait for Him to reveal Himself in ways you have never seen or known Him before. Go deeper with Him, lil_christian.

It's a scary and frightening step. But He won't let you down. Oh, lil_christian, you are so loved, with a love that consumes, a love that conquers, a love that obliterates our fears. I wish I could actually put it in to words how dearly loved and rejoiced over you are! I want to take your pain away, oh gosh, if only I could. I wish I could wrap you in my arms, but I can't. My tears now as I type are for you and wanting to reach you. I urge you, I have put the knife to my throat, swallowed the pills that I had expected to take my life, but even after going through that and being in those places, I know now that God does respond, He DOES come through in victory and in love, sweetly speaking over us and comforting us in the wilderness. He sets us free when we surrender our pain and suffering. He wants to bear your burdens and carry us day by day.

Just go forth, and take the plunge, lil_christian. Break down those walls, smash them down and let the mess unravel, let your hurt come out in honesty, take it to our beautiful God. Cast yourself on Him. Come to a deeper understanding of His love, and you in turn will have a better understanding of how to reflect and act on that same love. People will sin against us, but when you know who you are in Him, you will have the strength to withstand the hurt that comes with loving people. Let Him cast out your fears.

You are too wonderful and valuable to stay hidden. Your heart is too precious to be locked away. Be bold, be courageous, and love strongly. I want to see you being just you, I want to know you are on the other side of the world, revealing the wonderful image of God through the unique personality, skills and gifts that are in you. You are a blessing to the people around you. Please... please hear me out. Know that you are loved by an amazing God, and you are loved by us here. I love you, lil_christian.

Tintin · Jul 6, 2014

Oh, my Arlene! That was beautiful and heartfelt. I'm choking back tears.

Lil'Christian, I hurt for you, sister. I'm not as eloquent as Arlene, but know that I'll be praying for you (and I'm sure there will/are many other CCers who are doing likewise. Don't deny your feelings. Be honest with God. He is the great Healer, Creator, Saviour and Lord and He wants you to run too Him for Him to make you whole. Bless you, sister.

Loveneverfails · Jul 6, 2014

Arlene89 said:

Baaahahahahahaha! GIRL. I like your dancin' style. You have no idea how much I wish this group happy-dance could happen in person! Oh, and I think Christian would definitely join us, just have a look a couple pages back in this thread XD you two are both fabulous dancers!

Arlene89 · Jul 6, 2014

Loveneverfails said:

I think I lost my ability to feel embarrassed about myself a long time ago. So you can only imagine the kind of dance moves that comes from me! Hahahahahah! I think we'd get along grandly in person, Miss Loveneverfails.

Arlene89 · Jul 6, 2014

lil_christian said:

cinder said:

Now let me tell you a hard lesson I had to learn. THAT IS A COMPLETE AND UTTER LIE. It is a lie that I believed since my early teens. I looked to my guy friends to teach me what a woman is meant to be, and from there I built my identity as a female. They told me emotional women were not attractive, guys don't like women who talk about feelings, and many other things which led me to believe any kind of intense emotion was my enemy. For years I have lived as a walking zombie, with an empty and dead heart and walls that no person could penetrate. I was SO afraid of feeling and revealing the essence of who I was in fear of judgement, hurt and rejection.

But our emotions and dreams aren't our enemy. The enemy is the enemy, and he wants nothing more than to taint, silence, cover and ruin the beauty held by women. We are image bearers of God. The Holy Spirit grieves, Jesus wept, God the Father gets angry, the Lord rejoices. Our God feels, and yet He feels much more than we do. His ways are higher than ours, what He feels is beyond our comprehension. Women can easily be in tune with their emotions and have no trouble expressing it, but because He made us to be like Him, we reflect a part of Him that is deeply in tune with our emotions and feelings.

And you know what? It isn't bad. We naturally reflect the merciful and nurturing side of our beloved God, and it takes those very things to play out that part. God made Himself vulnerable in loving us, and has made Himself susceptible to grief from our actions and our hearts. I believe we should be vulnerable to God, and there are also times in our lives when we need to be vulnerable to godly and trustworthy people we can do life with, and not just this surface level, shallow stuff.

It's about time we stopped listening to the lies, it's about time we stopped covering the beauty deeply woven in to our souls, in to our beings. We need to embrace the beauty God has called us to reveal. Satan, the father of lies, has taken enough from us. He has stolen and he has destroyed and this is where I draw the line. I am sick of seeing women carrying themselves in complete defeat. I am sick of the enemy covering ground. If we don't stand and declare the victory that has already been won on the cross, then who will? The victory is already there, we just need to grasp it. We are image bearers of God, we are salt and we are light. Salt in those days was worth it's weight in gold. We bring flavour to this world, and we are worthy and priceless.

(Now, just to clarify, I'm not saying we should follow and celebrate all feelings, since feelings and emotions can be deceiving. Yes, we do need to take every thought captive. But you know where I'm going... I hope. Please tell me this isn't another tangent?)

Now, I wanted to pull this part out of a really good book, 'Becoming Myself' - by Stasi Eldredge.

"Who are you becoming?

To become our true selves will require not only that we trust God more deeply but also that we are willing to take what we may feel are enormous risks. We will need to risk believing that what God has said about us is true.
We must risk being more beautiful, more powerful, more loved, more loving, more involved, more intimate, more connected, more glorious and more gifted than we thought we ever could be.

We must risk believing we are worth loving, fighting for, protecting and cherishing. God has revealed His truth about us through His Word....

God has revealed Himself to us and ourselves to us. Now we must flex our muscles of faith and choose to believe Him in the moments when we are experiencing it and when we are not.

Becoming ourselves requires standing against the world's current - the demands, the expectations, the assault of daily realities, and our own histories. We cannot afford to indulge in our inner diatribes and longer. To become our true ourselves will require that we speak the truth in love, even to ourselves."

tourist · Jul 6, 2014

ww_21 said:

I love thunder, lightning and rain watching God's fireworks in the sky.

tourist · Jul 6, 2014

Arlene89 said:

Now let me tell you a hard lesson I had to learn. THAT IS A COMPLETE AND UTTER LIE. It is a lie that I believed since my early teens. I looked to my guy friends to teach me what a woman is meant to be, and from there I built my identity as a female. They told me emotional women were not attractive, guys don't like women who talk about feelings, and many other things which led me to believe any kind of intense emotion was my enemy. For years I have lived as a walking zombie, with an empty and dead heart and walls that no person could penetrate. I was SO afraid of feeling and revealing the essence of who I was in fear of judgement, hurt and rejection.

But our emotions and dreams aren't our enemy. The enemy is the enemy, and he wants nothing more than to taint, silence, cover and ruin the beauty held by women. We are image bearers of God. The Holy Spirit grieves, Jesus wept, God the Father gets angry, the Lord rejoices. Our God feels, and yet He feels much more than we do. His ways are higher than ours, what He feels is beyond our comprehension. Women can easily be in tune with their emotions and have no trouble expressing it, but because He made us to be like Him, we reflect a part of Him that is deeply in tune with our emotions and feelings.

And you know what? It isn't bad. We naturally reflect the merciful and nurturing side of our beloved God, and it takes those very things to play out that part. God made Himself vulnerable in loving us, and has made Himself susceptible to grief from our actions and our hearts. I believe we should be vulnerable to God, and there are also times in our lives when we need to be vulnerable to godly and trustworthy people we can do life with, and not just this surface level, shallow stuff.

It's about time we stopped listening to the lies, it's about time we stopped covering the beauty deeply woven in to our souls, in to our beings. We need to embrace the beauty God has called us to reveal. Satan, the father of lies, has taken enough from us. He has stolen and he has destroyed and this is where I draw the line. I am sick of seeing women carrying themselves in complete defeat. I am sick of the enemy covering ground. If we don't stand and declare the victory that has already been won on the cross, then who will? The victory is already there, we just need to grasp it. We are image bearers of God, we are salt and we are light. Salt in those days was worth it's weight in gold. We bring flavour to this world, and we are worthy and priceless.

(Now, just to clarify, I'm not saying we should follow and celebrate all feelings, since feelings and emotions can be deceiving. Yes, we do need to take every thought captive. But you know where I'm going... I hope. Please tell me this isn't another tangent?)

Now, I wanted to pull this part out of a really good book, 'Becoming Myself' - by Stasi Eldredge.

"Who are you becoming?

To become our true selves will require not only that we trust God more deeply but also that we are willing to take what we may feel are enormous risks. We will need to risk believing that what God has said about us is true.
We must risk being more beautiful, more powerful, more loved, more loving, more involved, more intimate, more connected, more glorious and more gifted than we thought we ever could be.

We must risk believing we are worth loving, fighting for, protecting and cherishing. God has revealed His truth about us through His Word....

God has revealed Himself to us and ourselves to us. Now we must flex our muscles of faith and choose to believe Him in the moments when we are experiencing it and when we are not.

Becoming ourselves requires standing against the world's current - the demands, the expectations, the assault of daily realities, and our own histories. We cannot afford to indulge in our inner diatribes and longer. To become our true ourselves will require that we speak the truth in love, even to ourselves."

I loved this!

Tintin · Jul 6, 2014

Dang, Arlene! Stop making me almost cry! I'm choking up here. You're a real wordsmith and an amazing, godly inspiration to women. Thank you for allowing God to use you in this way. He's doing great works in and through you. Wow.

Tintin · Jul 6, 2014

Loveneverfails said:

Fabulous dancer, me? Where is this evidence?

homwardbound · Jul 6, 2014

tourist said:

For God so loved us all, that God gave us life in Son after first death for us to be our death to ourselves, then receive new life in Spirit and truth and are asked to renew our minds in thought to see God's thoughts first not this worlds or selves.
So in response to God first I am thankful for Son, for without Christ I am to be pitied of all people, especially if Christ is not risen, but Christ is risen and that is the completion of the Gospel to all, to get new life in Spirit and truth, our minds renewed to see through Father's sight and then do as led, too simple for me to be out of the way, yes?
But I am at rest as I do whatever I am asked to do. I did not always see it this way, yet now do and am sharing it to all.
For I see many working hard and are not at rest in the work they are doing, trying to be close to God by their work and just not feeling it in their new heart, that God gave them by the resurrected Christ, after the death for us to be dead to self, you think?

homwardbound · Jul 6, 2014

lil_christian said:

And maybe by this you are being taught discernment from God to you, a further opening of the present he gave you through Son, not staying hard hearted , just becoming aware, wise as a serpent yet harmless as a dove
There are many who will trick you, and use you and abuse you, praying you see and do not let them, praying you learn not the hard way as many have, as I had to. Thinking well since I know I have the love of God and never want to use it for my gain against my neighbor, I got the idea all others thought the same, and utoh not?
Hard lesson to learn

homwardbound · Jul 6, 2014

MissCris said:

So you learned "it is all about me" or is it as each one personalizes this.
Depends doesn't it? what is my motive, yours and yours and yours as we get lost here in trying to discern what is what and who is who, when all we are asked is to trust God and love all, not a special few
So is it all about me, you and you over there? Or is it truthfully all about God's love to all, regardless of how we all behave or not behave?
I choose responder to God's love to all
And learning to not be an initiator, playing God, trying to get God to respond to me
I just can't see God responding to me, If God did as I expect because I have been a good Samaritan, then when God does do good to me for what I think I should get, because I have been a good little boy
Would that in essence make me God of God?

homwardbound · Jul 6, 2014

Descyple said:

How about make Lemonade? ask god for a glass when you get lemons, maybe?

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