I've been a loner for so long, I don't really know how let anyone in. My background, my home town, my family, my so called friends, my B.S., my beliefs, my emotions, all of it. I don't know how to properly share with people. I don't know how to openly say "Hey, I'm a native guy from a little indian reservation in North-West Ontario!" I don't know how to tell people that I was raised by a single mother whom I got my Christian beliefs from. She would take me to a little gray building that had a wood stove and no restroom, where they would share and have fellowship. Then that little church building soon evolved in to a larger structure with two floors, his and her restrooms, kitchen, and a full musical set of drums, acoustic guitars, electric guitars, bass, and a keyboard. I didn't always like going to church because sometimes it got boring when the other kids weren't there. But, I did grow accustomed to the music, to the out of tune singer, to the talented guest singers, to the large crowd that showed up on special occasions. I did get used to playing downstairs with my cousins, I did get used to coloring at Sunday school. I did pick up who Jesus was and the stories that followed. I do know some of the stories of the Bible through children's books. I remember the stories my mother shared with me at nights before bedtime. I do remember hearing her pray. I do remember her "feeling" the Holy Spirit within her. I do remember all those people that used to go there. And I still see the "Faithful Few" that strive to keep the church alive.
I don't know what to say about myself as of now. I'm trying to sing, but I got no vocal training. So, I kinda suck. I do try to play guitar, but I know only a few chords, and I'm not patient with myself. So, I kinda suck at that too. But recently, I've been trying to write songs and performed a few events and people have been telling me my so called singing is alright.
I try to sing because my mother sings. She's been singing since she was a teenager. I once asked her when and how she started, and only laughed as she told me how one of the adults at the time just asked her to sing at church. And she's been singing ever since. I remember singing with her at a young age, when we would go to bed. And one night as we sang, I heard my voice out of tune and stopped. I wasn't as good as my mother.
But today I excel in chord vocabulary. I still envy her range and her talent to awe the local people.
I'll just leave it at that for now. But now some of you know a bit about me.
While this break from the internet and from things was needed...God was and is still working with me. This week was the hardest. The speaker at camp really pushed some buttons I know he didn't mean to push, and regardless of that it gave me flashbacks of my mom and when she was in the hospital and I wanted to get up and leave or stand up and yell at him and tell him what I think. In some ways I think I should have went up to him and told him. 
