Singleness: Blessing or curse?

[cinder]

The Bible teaches that being single is just a condition, one about which your perspective can see as a blessing or as a curse. So what's your opinion, single Christians: Is your singleness a blessing or a curse? Why makes you feel that way?

When I see the messes people get themselves into relationally and the pain and destruction it causes I consider myself quite blessed to be single. When I contemplate growing old, losing my parents, and that my future may well end up with me being a very lonlely little old lady, maybe not quite so blessed but I have time to work to avoid the worst case scenarios of that fate.

 

[MatthewWestfieldUK]

Single is a great mental break, however it's useful to change your phone number to stop those from your past life getting in touch. I have also found that certain people at church have crossed lines since knowing I was single so it's almost better to just keep discreet

 

[Live4Him]

Lol I guess this will be my 3rd time speaking about this... I am sorry to whoever will going to read this...I just want to share the goodness of the Lord Jesus because i know that whether people will be honest or not with their sexual struggles I know that many christian brothers and sisters(single or married) right now are hooked with pornography and masturbation. The good news here is if God sets me free HE surely can set you free as well 😇


My experience of being single(not married) for so long I would say that it was really hard and it was a painful journey I considered it a curse because i struggled with high sexual drive, and at the same time my desire to not sleep with a man until marriage...


I had an early exposure to porn video when I was a teenager when my bestfriend invited me to sleep over at their house. That video poisoned my mind...I was not a rebellious teenager so I think it saved me also to try to sleep around...I was actually scared to do that because though I was looking on porn and masturbating I still believe at a very young age to wait till marriage I relied on porn and masturbation ..but it only resulted to something worst like being hooked to porn..thankful I have a God who loves me,forgives me and teaches me. HE helped me to win my battle over lust 😇


Whether I'll be married someday or not, I thank the Lord 🙏 Both are gifts .

Singleness is a great opportunity to enjoy it and to focus in serving the Lord Jesus. 😇

Your honesty is refreshing.

I'm thankful that the Lord set you free.

 

[MatthewWestfieldUK]

Proves that life can change

 

[Lynx]

When I see the messes people get themselves into relationally and the pain and destruction it causes I consider myself quite blessed to be single. When I contemplate growing old, losing my parents, and that my future may well end up with me being a very lonlely little old lady, maybe not quite so blessed but I have time to work to avoid the worst case scenarios of that fate.

Oooooh yeah! Listening to some people on the job complaining about their spouses or "significant others" makes me SO glad I'm single.

I mean... some day I may find the perfect match for me, but until then thank you Lord I didn't get somebody like these people who would complain all the time to strangers about me!

What makes me feel even better about being single is when I hear them plotting what to do about those people they (ostensibly) love or used to love.

I just LOVE being single!

 

[MatthewWestfieldUK]

Being single makes riding a motorcycle a lot easier

 

[BroCCMan]

When I see the messes people get themselves into relationally and the pain and destruction it causes I consider myself quite blessed to be single. When I contemplate growing old, losing my parents, and that my future may well end up with me being a very lonlely little old lady, maybe not quite so blessed but I have time to work to avoid the worst case scenarios of that fate.

As I was getting dressed this morning, I actually gave thought to growing older without a person to care for me. The good thing about that thought in my is that it prompted me to pray that God will help me depend more on Him and less on people.

All that to say, I can relate to what you said, Cinder my sister.

 

[Lanolin]

it is a fallacy that a spouse will look after you when you are old.
Ive worked in retirement villages, its not like that. Younger people look after their elders. Most caregivers are younger, and have the energy not the spouses. They may not even be your own children.

for the most part it is generally wives looking after their husbands though and attending to their needs, its very rare occasion that I see the reverse. when it become too much for a husband, often they will sperate and one will go in to a rest home. Sometimes they go together but it actually costs twice as much.

 

[Lanolin]

when you take a vow to be married, for better or worse, for richer and poorer, in sickness and in health, according to tradtional vows said, very few people actually seem to honor them.

sooo many people ditch their spouse when they get poor, sick or when they become worse.

of course you would hope that it would be different amonst christians, well that is the test of faith and being faithful, which happens over time. There is no litmus test for faith. you have to live it.

 

[Kireina]

Firstly, ur brave. Second how did u overcome this challenge? Seeing things ruined me. Set me on a path that I feel ashamed about. The shame blocked me from getting help

Thank you 🤗 Glory be to God 😇


@MatthewWestfieldUK the enemy loves to use shame to discourage us...to make you forget God loves you unconditionally and HE has a purpose in your life...
Be encouraged God can use everything even the most ugliest thing we do/did to bring glory to Himself and to show His great,amazing,wonderful mighty power through you 😇


I would say,quitting is not that easy brother remember that it is years of doing something that gives you pleasure...and your brain is quite familiar already to that kind of relief the porn and masturbation are giving you. like it is wired already how to respond when you are lonely,alone,frustrated etc.

There are things you can do like staying away from the things that can trigger the urge to watch inappropriate videos like getting rid of those things would help but quitting should be intentional...you need to be committed to quit. An accountability partner who you can talk whenever the urge is there to watch or a group of christian men who are going through the same would really help...

And the most important thing i learned in my journey to victory is to ask God to help me....medidating His word fill your life with His word because you know just like when the house is empty it is vulnerable to attack. The enemy will use the opportunity to enter the house and occupy it....

Brother,it is quite a tough journey and not just a one day fight but just keep going it is so worth it in the end I'll be praying for you. God bless you 😇🤗

 

[cinder]

As a practical point, there are also several website blocking, web content filtering, app blocking apps or extensions you can use to add another layer of protection for the times you are tempted to do what you shouldn't online. Many have password protection to change the settings but even the ones that don't can be another layer of hey are you sure you really really want to give in checkpoint once you've started the process (mostly I've had to employ them for other things like getting off the computer at a reasonable time at night and not giving my life over to stupid you tube videos or games (which use all kinds of tricks to get you to keep playing / watching so I found a trick to fight back)).

 

[MatthewWestfieldUK]

As a practical point, there are also several website blocking, web content filtering, app blocking apps or extensions you can use to add another layer of protection for the times you are tempted to do what you shouldn't online. Many have password protection to change the settings but even the ones that don't can be another layer of hey are you sure you really really want to give in checkpoint once you've started the process (mostly I've had to employ them for other things like getting off the computer at a reasonable time at night and not giving my life over to stupid you tube videos or games (which use all kinds of tricks to get you to keep playing / watching so I found a trick to fight back)).

With me not so much online but other things to in terms of people at church. I don't want to say too much I still feel ashamed about my issues and I don't want people to look and judge after reading

 

[MatthewWestfieldUK]

Thank you 🤗 Glory be to God 😇


@MatthewWestfieldUK the enemy loves to use shame to discourage us...to make you forget God loves you unconditionally and HE has a purpose in your life...
Be encouraged God can use everything even the most ugliest thing we do/did to bring glory to Himself and to show His great,amazing,wonderful mighty power through you 😇


I would say,quitting is not that easy brother remember that it is years of doing something that gives you pleasure...and your brain is quite familiar already to that kind of relief the porn and masturbation are giving you. like it is wired already how to respond when you are lonely,alone,frustrated etc.

There are things you can do like staying away from the things that can trigger the urge to watch inappropriate videos like getting rid of those things would help but quitting should be intentional...you need to be committed to quit. An accountability partner who you can talk whenever the urge is there to watch or a group of christian men who are going through the same would really help...

And the most important thing i learned in my journey to victory is to ask God to help me....medidating His word fill your life with His word because you know just like when the house is empty it is vulnerable to attack. The enemy will use the opportunity to enter the house and occupy it....

Brother,it is quite a tough journey and not just a one day fight but just keep going it is so worth it in the end I'll be praying for you. God bless you 😇🤗

I did try and get an accountability partner at church but found at this guy turned very angry once I started to open up more. It put me off counselling

 

[Kireina]

I did try and get an accountability partner at church but found at this guy turned very angry once I started to open up more. It put me off counselling

I am sorry to hear that...I don't understand why did he got so angry when he agreed to be your accountability partner...

 

[MatthewWestfieldUK]

I am sorry to hear that...I don't understand why did he got so angry when he agreed to be your accountability partner...

We were still having the discussion. I think what upset him was that that he had suffered from a breakdown in his relationship and his wife if meeting a different man on behind his back. So the issues I was talking about opened a wound. I guess I need somebody who's been in messed up like I was and who has patient.

 

[MatthewWestfieldUK]

What I must say is that I am surprised by the level of respect kindness and and patience I have found here. I do sometimes pause and ask myself if it's a real. It's not something I'm used to. Sin is a lonely place

 

[seoulsearch]

What I must say is that I am surprised by the level of respect kindness and and patience I have found here. I do sometimes pause and ask myself if it's a real. It's not something I'm used to. Sin is a lonely place

Welcome to CC, Matthew!

I have been enjoying your posts and am glad to see you making yourself part of the community.

We are ALL sinners who are trying to break through our own isolation, and reach out to others.

Glad to have you with us!

 

[MatthewWestfieldUK]

Welcome to CC, Matthew!

I have been enjoying your posts and am glad to see you making yourself part of the community.

We are ALL sinners who are trying to break through our own isolation, and reach out to others.

Glad to have you with us!

I never thought my posts were interesting. Only dark and negative. I have started to learn to use commas in my sentences. I skipped too many classes in school

 

[MatthewWestfieldUK]

I never thought my posts were interesting. Only dark and negative. I have started to learn to use commas in my sentences. I skipped too many classes in school

Kindness is welcome and noted

 

[Kireina]

I never thought my posts were interesting. Only dark and negative. I have started to learn to use commas in my sentences. I skipped too many classes in school

It is interesting because of your sincerity Matthew 🤗