Midnight Confessions
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CC has always very much been like a revolving high school. Newbies come in all the time and/or abrasive people never leave; most old-timers often find it hard to adjust to the new crowd and/or are frustrated with the abusers and soon leave.
I can think of only one person who still regularly posts here from when I first joined. I'm sure there are a few others, but I rarely see them anymore. And back then, chat was also very active. We used to have Bible studies and play games in which even the mods participated--which was really a fun time.
But yes, people get busy, or frustrated, or offended (I've certainly had my share of all 3) and suddenly, spending time on other things becomes much more appealing than constantly being blasted (or seeing others get blasted) on CC.
However, it can be very worthwhile to say. CC crowds come and go in waves of regular posters who dominate the scene for a while and then die off. There have been several waves in which I didn't fit (nothing against them at all--they were good people, we just didn't connect) and maybe three in which I bonded with some great people and made some really cool friends.
The CC culture is a lot like surfing--you have to wait it out for that next great wave. With some, the rhythm may be off or the wave might be too high, but when you find that right one... The ride is a lot of fun until it crashes and you go back to waiting.
I can think of only one person who still regularly posts here from when I first joined. I'm sure there are a few others, but I rarely see them anymore. And back then, chat was also very active. We used to have Bible studies and play games in which even the mods participated--which was really a fun time.
But yes, people get busy, or frustrated, or offended (I've certainly had my share of all 3) and suddenly, spending time on other things becomes much more appealing than constantly being blasted (or seeing others get blasted) on CC.
However, it can be very worthwhile to say. CC crowds come and go in waves of regular posters who dominate the scene for a while and then die off. There have been several waves in which I didn't fit (nothing against them at all--they were good people, we just didn't connect) and maybe three in which I bonded with some great people and made some really cool friends.
The CC culture is a lot like surfing--you have to wait it out for that next great wave. With some, the rhythm may be off or the wave might be too high, but when you find that right one... The ride is a lot of fun until it crashes and you go back to waiting.
You have a way of phrasing things Kim... 
And, I meant to say that "It can be very worthwhile to STAY," not "say". Sigh. Running on 3 hours of sleep again.
I was also going to say that CC is a lot like the stock market, in which the members and feedback here are the investments. The minute most people aren't happy with the "returns" they expect from investing in certain people or time on this site, they go off to find more fulfilling things to do with their time that offer better payoffs, which is completely understandable.
Unfortunately, the people who stay the longest are generally the people who have nowhere else to go and somehow find their whole purpose in cutting down other people through their alleged "teachings" or "corrections" (the SAP's... Self-Appointed Prophets.)
I know, I know. Someone is going to say, "Well then what does that say about you, Seoulsearch?"
Yup, I've been pretty tough to kill off, I know. I've just gotten to the point where I really don't care what the SAP's think. In the time I've been on CC, I've been on about 3 other Christian sites as well, and yes, unfortunately, they all folded in that time. I've heard that CC has been in existence about 15 years but I'm not sure? But it seems that online culture is changing, and most people don't want to read anything longer than 140 characters anymore (and posting pictures on Instagram is surely more meaningful than a real conversation), so who knows what will happen.
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Unfortunately, the people who stay the longest are generally the people who have nowhere else to go and somehow find their whole purpose in cutting down other people through their alleged "teachings" or "corrections" (the SAP's... Self-Appointed Prophets.)
I know, I know. Someone is going to say, "Well then what does that say about you, Seoulsearch?" Yup, I've been pretty tough to kill off, I know. I've just gotten to the point where I really don't care what the SAP's think.
I know, I know. Someone is going to say, "Well then what does that say about you, Seoulsearch?"
Yup, I've been pretty tough to kill off, I know. I've just gotten to the point where I really don't care what the SAP's think.
I'll take that as a compliment, Lynxsus.
And, I meant to say that "It can be very worthwhile to STAY," not "say". Sigh. Running on 3 hours of sleep again.
I was also going to say that CC is a lot like the stock market, in which the members and feedback here are the investments. The minute most people aren't happy with the "returns" they expect from investing in certain people or time on this site, they go off to find more fulfilling things to do with their time that offer better payoffs, which is completely understandable.
Unfortunately, the people who stay the longest are generally the people who have nowhere else to go and somehow find their whole purpose in cutting down other people through their alleged "teachings" or "corrections" (the SAP's... Self-Appointed Prophets.)
I know, I know. Someone is going to say, "Well then what does that say about you, Seoulsearch?" Yup, I've been pretty tough to kill off, I know. I've just gotten to the point where I really don't care what the SAP's think.
In the time I've been on CC, I've been on about 3 other Christian sites as well, and yes, unfortunately, they all folded in that time. I've heard that CC has been in existence about 15 years but I'm not sure? But it seems that online culture is changing, and most people don't want to read anything longer than 140 characters anymore (and posting pictures on Instagram is surely more meaningful than a real conversation), so who knows what will happen.
And, I meant to say that "It can be very worthwhile to STAY," not "say". Sigh. Running on 3 hours of sleep again.
I was also going to say that CC is a lot like the stock market, in which the members and feedback here are the investments. The minute most people aren't happy with the "returns" they expect from investing in certain people or time on this site, they go off to find more fulfilling things to do with their time that offer better payoffs, which is completely understandable.
Unfortunately, the people who stay the longest are generally the people who have nowhere else to go and somehow find their whole purpose in cutting down other people through their alleged "teachings" or "corrections" (the SAP's... Self-Appointed Prophets.)
I know, I know. Someone is going to say, "Well then what does that say about you, Seoulsearch?"
Yup, I've been pretty tough to kill off, I know. I've just gotten to the point where I really don't care what the SAP's think. In the time I've been on CC, I've been on about 3 other Christian sites as well, and yes, unfortunately, they all folded in that time. I've heard that CC has been in existence about 15 years but I'm not sure? But it seems that online culture is changing, and most people don't want to read anything longer than 140 characters anymore (and posting pictures on Instagram is surely more meaningful than a real conversation), so who knows what will happen.
The Mods and Admin here have always had the difficulty of trying to maintain a balance between allowing discussions that are prone to become heated and trying to maintain some semblance of civility. Crank the screws too tight and everyone complains that we're stifling free discussion and that everyone is scared that if they speak their mind they'll be banned and users leave in numbers. Let the screws get too loose and then people end up leaving in numbers because they get tired of the free for all.
Invariably it becomes difficult to determine who the real trouble makers are when there are numerous users digging at each other and each of them have hundreds if not thousands of posts in dozens of threads. Trying to figure out which user(s) started the free for all can be daunting and often it is determined that numerous users on both sides of the fight are at fault so in maintaining fairness we have to either ban all of them or none of them. If we ban all of them then all of a sudden the repercussions from turning the screws too tight kick in.
CC has been around 16 or 17 years now, AlaynaJ joined in 12/99 and the site had been around a year or two at that time.
Invariably good Christian sites rely solely on donations to fund them since Google ads is going to be prone to posting ads that would be completely inappropriate for a Christian site. Most sites suffer from a lack of funding and the smaller ones quite often won't raise enough donations to just pay the server bill. Couple that with the Admin feeling like a cyber babysitter and getting attacked from all sides because no matter what decision you make you're gonna have a handful of users that aren't happy with it and with time they just shut it down rather than deal with the stress.
Interestingly we've had a couple of users over the years leave CC and start their own site because they perceived in their own mind that running a site like this was easy and that could do it better than the team here. Not at all surprising that often they realize that their perceptions were very wrong and they shut down because they get tired of the headache.
As if dealing with the SAP's aren't enough, you also have the SAM's (Self-Appointed Moderators). Now granted, there are times when I might fall into this category myself, as I try to nip any needless nonsense in the bud if it starts to happen within my own threads. I tell myself that I'm trying to save the mods the trouble.
I know people probably have good intentions, but a long time ago there was a particular poster who was always correcting new users. When one of the newbies pushed back, this SAM then decided to wield a bit of imaginary power by dropping a mod's name and saying, "Such-and-such would not want you to post this."
Well, "such-and-such" mod happened to see the post--AND made a cameo guest appearance in the thread, both quoting and confronting this person with, "Please don't use my name or claim that you are a representative of what I will or will not allow on this site."
That alone was well-worth the price of admission and I wish I saw exchanges like that more often!!
When I first came to CC I was a bit of an angry, rebellious troll myself (NOT because of CC itself--I was at a very bitter point in life.) One of the reasons I've stuck with this site and speak so positively about it is because the moderators here have been gracious enough to allow me to hash out some things in my own life and grow over time in my own way.
I think people also forget that the internet is a cesspool of people who suffer from mental illness. Add to that the fact that many are unemployed, have no families, and have no contact with people except their keyboards (whether due to circumstance or choice), this pretty much makes sites like this the equivalent of a giant homeless shelter.
Now, I'm not saying that in criticism at all--of course we are to have compassion on people. But I'm just saying, we also have to take a very realistic look at the audience. I remember one user from a long time ago (on a forum not so far away) who would regularly come into chat and randomly insult users for no reason (including myself) and talk about completely nonsensical things, then would constantly say the administration should grant him mod status. *shakes head*
I also saw a copy of a video once in which a former member was ranting over CC and how he was wrongfully banned, and I was thinking, "Are you kidding me? I remember this guy. He was here 24/7... and he was absolutely nuts." He used to appear on camera all the time, which also showcased the fact that he seemed to have little regard for hygiene, organization, or basic daily cleanliness in his own living quarters--which I'm mentioning not as a criticism, but as a hint that this person "wasn't all there."
I have also heard stories of how some of the most "righteous-sounding" posters are sending inappropriate messages to underage users or catfishing other members (and it's been the victims who have told me about it.)
What I'm trying to say is, I've learned to trust the mods here. When they make the choices that they do, I'm sure it's not without a lot of thought and consideration. And frankly, I often feel sorry for them.
I hated babysitting even when I was a teenager. I can't imagine what it must be like to have to referee a site with thousands of adults all going at each other as if someone stole their pacifier.
Sorry I couldn't condense all of this into a 10-second cat video, but maybe someone will actually be bored enough to read this post!
I know people probably have good intentions, but a long time ago there was a particular poster who was always correcting new users. When one of the newbies pushed back, this SAM then decided to wield a bit of imaginary power by dropping a mod's name and saying, "Such-and-such would not want you to post this."
Well, "such-and-such" mod happened to see the post--AND made a cameo guest appearance in the thread, both quoting and confronting this person with, "Please don't use my name or claim that you are a representative of what I will or will not allow on this site."
That alone was well-worth the price of admission and I wish I saw exchanges like that more often!!
When I first came to CC I was a bit of an angry, rebellious troll myself (NOT because of CC itself--I was at a very bitter point in life.) One of the reasons I've stuck with this site and speak so positively about it is because the moderators here have been gracious enough to allow me to hash out some things in my own life and grow over time in my own way.
I think people also forget that the internet is a cesspool of people who suffer from mental illness. Add to that the fact that many are unemployed, have no families, and have no contact with people except their keyboards (whether due to circumstance or choice), this pretty much makes sites like this the equivalent of a giant homeless shelter.
Now, I'm not saying that in criticism at all--of course we are to have compassion on people. But I'm just saying, we also have to take a very realistic look at the audience. I remember one user from a long time ago (on a forum not so far away) who would regularly come into chat and randomly insult users for no reason (including myself) and talk about completely nonsensical things, then would constantly say the administration should grant him mod status. *shakes head*
I also saw a copy of a video once in which a former member was ranting over CC and how he was wrongfully banned, and I was thinking, "Are you kidding me? I remember this guy. He was here 24/7... and he was absolutely nuts." He used to appear on camera all the time, which also showcased the fact that he seemed to have little regard for hygiene, organization, or basic daily cleanliness in his own living quarters--which I'm mentioning not as a criticism, but as a hint that this person "wasn't all there."
I have also heard stories of how some of the most "righteous-sounding" posters are sending inappropriate messages to underage users or catfishing other members (and it's been the victims who have told me about it.)
What I'm trying to say is, I've learned to trust the mods here. When they make the choices that they do, I'm sure it's not without a lot of thought and consideration. And frankly, I often feel sorry for them.
I hated babysitting even when I was a teenager. I can't imagine what it must be like to have to referee a site with thousands of adults all going at each other as if someone stole their pacifier.
Sorry I couldn't condense all of this into a 10-second cat video
, but maybe someone will actually be bored enough to read this post!
I need to clarify in that I am certainly not trying to say that all people who are here 24/7, are unemployed, or have no contact with people are all mentally ill. I do think, however, that being in this situation can greatly affect how one deals with other people, especially online, where there are few real faces or real boundaries.
I used to be in a situation where I had weekends off, and I would often go home on Friday and not speak to anyone until Monday for work (except for the obligatory, "Hello" at church or while running errands.) Even in my daily life, I have few to no meaningful conversations with people and that can really take a toll (and I'm an introvert!) I can feel a shift in my thinking and reactions, so I can only imagine what it must be like for people who go through this for months or years.
I really think that isolation has a profound effect on how we deal with people--it becomes much easier to just say what we think with no filters, but in our minds, we think we're "helping" people or just "saying it as it is."
I'm convinced that the less real contact people have with other people, the louder, ruder, and less considerate they become simply by default--they're out of practice in dealing with people and if they don't work, they aren't place in a situation where they are forced to practice showing even basic graciousness--and places like this are just where the end results come out.
I used to be in a situation where I had weekends off, and I would often go home on Friday and not speak to anyone until Monday for work (except for the obligatory, "Hello" at church or while running errands.) Even in my daily life, I have few to no meaningful conversations with people and that can really take a toll (and I'm an introvert!) I can feel a shift in my thinking and reactions, so I can only imagine what it must be like for people who go through this for months or years.
I really think that isolation has a profound effect on how we deal with people--it becomes much easier to just say what we think with no filters, but in our minds, we think we're "helping" people or just "saying it as it is."
I'm convinced that the less real contact people have with other people, the louder, ruder, and less considerate they become simply by default--they're out of practice in dealing with people and if they don't work, they aren't place in a situation where they are forced to practice showing even basic graciousness--and places like this are just where the end results come out.
T
Midnight confessions?.....hmmmm.....ok.......
I confess...... I am...... The Midnight Rider.......
On another side though..... I think this is a pretty good site... I know it's tough to moderate it with all the folks you got comin and goin....and I keep gettin told that its always been that way when stuff comes up....and with that many folks on here I gotta believe other folks can make a difference....if it means that much to you take a step and see how many others take a step with you....."change the air and you just might change the way folks breathe"
I confess...... I am...... The Midnight Rider.......
On another side though..... I think this is a pretty good site... I know it's tough to moderate it with all the folks you got comin and goin....and I keep gettin told that its always been that way when stuff comes up....and with that many folks on here I gotta believe other folks can make a difference....if it means that much to you take a step and see how many others take a step with you....."change the air and you just might change the way folks breathe"
Yes, I am in no way saying that mental illness means impossible rude, dangerous, or to be excluded, and I apologize if I made it sound that way.
What I was trying to say is that maybe when people get frustrated by what they see on CC, they could consider that maybe some people's actions are dictated by illness and not always choice, which allows us to give people a little more leeway in understanding why they're doing what they do.
Not as an excuse or reason to stereotype anyone, but rather, as awareness.
It's kind of like... If I spent hours hand-crafting a cake and someone blatantly refused to eat it. Let's say I completely blow up and assume that person is being rude, huff and puff, and decide to leave the party. But, if someone explains to me that this person has diabetes... The way I would treat that situation would be completely different.
This might not be the best example, but it was the first thing that popped into my mind.
What I was trying to say is that maybe when people get frustrated by what they see on CC, they could consider that maybe some people's actions are dictated by illness and not always choice, which allows us to give people a little more leeway in understanding why they're doing what they do.
Not as an excuse or reason to stereotype anyone, but rather, as awareness.
It's kind of like... If I spent hours hand-crafting a cake and someone blatantly refused to eat it. Let's say I completely blow up and assume that person is being rude, huff and puff, and decide to leave the party. But, if someone explains to me that this person has diabetes... The way I would treat that situation would be completely different.
This might not be the best example, but it was the first thing that popped into my mind.
Yes.
And whatever that is in your avatar, I want one.
By the way, you look smashing, Roh. I bet you and your gf are a picture-perfect couple!!!
And whatever that is in your avatar, I want one.
By the way, you look smashing, Roh. I bet you and your gf are a picture-perfect couple!!!
Thank you for the compliment, Kim. I am sure if my girlfriend and I were to pose together, we'd be competing for attention.
L
Midnight confessions:
To my first wife Ekaterina: You tried to be a good wife, but you never really loved ME. You were in love with an idea in your mind, and I never measured up. You wanted sex far too often, and I hated servicing you. I'm glad you met someone else and had a family with him.
To my second wife Kari: You lied to me form the beginning. You were unfaithful from the beginning and thanks to you, I will never be able to trust a woman again. I hope you enjoy your life married to an overweight cop. He's not even 10% of the man I am, but he kisses your butt, so it's all good in your hood.
To Brittany: I loved you. Genuinely, I did. You are a beautiful woman, inside and out. You need help though. You're a slut, and I won't have anything to do with a slut. If you'll give IT away so easy, IT isn't worth very much, so why would I want IT? I hope you can change your ways someday and find a good guy who won't just use for your skills in the bedroom. Regardless, it won't be me. You're wonderful, but I can do better.
To my first wife Ekaterina: You tried to be a good wife, but you never really loved ME. You were in love with an idea in your mind, and I never measured up. You wanted sex far too often, and I hated servicing you. I'm glad you met someone else and had a family with him.
To my second wife Kari: You lied to me form the beginning. You were unfaithful from the beginning and thanks to you, I will never be able to trust a woman again. I hope you enjoy your life married to an overweight cop. He's not even 10% of the man I am, but he kisses your butt, so it's all good in your hood.
To Brittany: I loved you. Genuinely, I did. You are a beautiful woman, inside and out. You need help though. You're a slut, and I won't have anything to do with a slut. If you'll give IT away so easy, IT isn't worth very much, so why would I want IT? I hope you can change your ways someday and find a good guy who won't just use for your skills in the bedroom. Regardless, it won't be me. You're wonderful, but I can do better.
M
definitely it is frustrating. I feel frustrated when the mentally ill are feeling unwell and dont make postive steps to deal with that. Postive steps about some how they could be controlling their symptoms they may need to well just get off CC for the rest of the day or some of it or calm down hold back from saying waht they could say or wanted to say through God's grace and strength.
There are people some to many who dont have mental illnesses on CC who frustrate people just as much as when the mentally ill are being problematic or their problems are even more frustrating .
I was actually thinking and thanking God there was a topic about people being negative towards towards a certain Christian denomination and I was boiling yet I felt God didnt want me to say anything so I held back from behaving in a negative way or saying what I wanted to say . And so glad I did cause it wouldnt of been helpful.
Generally speaking not just the mentally ill holding back negative behaviour we could show, saying something can be not only protecting us and others but can change our life and others .
Cake? Yes pleaaaaaaaase
There are people some to many who dont have mental illnesses on CC who frustrate people just as much as when the mentally ill are being problematic or their problems are even more frustrating .
I was actually thinking and thanking God there was a topic about people being negative towards towards a certain Christian denomination and I was boiling yet I felt God didnt want me to say anything so I held back from behaving in a negative way or saying what I wanted to say . And so glad I did cause it wouldnt of been helpful.
Generally speaking not just the mentally ill holding back negative behaviour we could show, saying something can be not only protecting us and others but can change our life and others .
Cake? Yes pleaaaaaaaase
When I joined this forum in 2014 I have learned so much about faith and life issues in just a short period of time. Some deep insights in this forum really stick to your heart and mind like a glue because some wise and good posters here express themselves very well with no inhibitions, thanks to the anonimity. Some of what I have learned here, I could never learn elsewhere, not in books or in real life. People's insights and experiences matter a lot and can really influence and inspire others. And I enjoy sarcasm and this place is so full of it.
I dont know what happened. Maybe forum people ran out of interesting topics to talk about.
I dont know what happened. Maybe forum people ran out of interesting topics to talk about.