Top Ten Ways You Know You're in a Bad Church
10. The church bus has gun racks
9. Staff consists of "Senior Pastor, Associate Pastor, and Socio-Pastor"
8. The Bible they use is the "Dr. Seuss Version"
7. There is an ATM in the lobby
6. Services are B.Y.O.S. -- "Bring Your Own Snake"
5. The choir wears leather robes
4. There is no cover charge, but communion is a 2 drink minimum
3. They have karaoke worship time
2. Ushers ask "Smoking or Non-Smoking?" before seating you
1. The only song the church organist knows is "Innagaddadavita"