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mailmandan

Senior Member
Apr 7, 2014
25,564
13,547
113
58
Top Ten Ways You Know You're in a Bad Church

10. The church bus has gun racks

9. Staff consists of "Senior Pastor, Associate Pastor, and Socio-Pastor"

8. The Bible they use is the "Dr. Seuss Version"

7. There is an ATM in the lobby

6. Services are B.Y.O.S. -- "Bring Your Own Snake"

5. The choir wears leather robes

4. There is no cover charge, but communion is a 2 drink minimum

3. They have karaoke worship time

2. Ushers ask "Smoking or Non-Smoking?" before seating you

1. The only song the church organist knows is "Innagaddadavita"
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,704
9,636
113
With my luck I'll marry somebody stronger than I, who never needs me to open a jar. But that's a good idea for her if she ever gets mad at me.