Been Single My Whole Life

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Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#21
Dec 15, 2018
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#21
seeking christ...sometimes I wonder what its like to be an only child (I grew up with 3 siblings)
I guess thats what drives you to find if not a mate, at least brothers and sisters

were circumstances such that your parents couldnt have more children?
if you join say, a group of guys, would they not have sisters they could introduce you to

But then when i think on it, none of my female friends ever really introduced me to their brothers, and Ive never really thought anyone would be suitable for my brothers nor play the matchmaker for them, and Im not friends with my siblings friends, we all had our own separate groups of friends. Isnt that funny, sometimes I think thats just going to be the way it is.


I think it would be very differnt if I was an only child it sounds teribly lonely. As such, being alone isnt that much of a hardship for me sometimes its a relief or Ive gotten used to being the only one in a bunch of paired up people and not sort of expected to really find a mate at all...?!
 
S

Seeking-Christ

Guest
#22
#22
Lanolin said:
seeking christ...sometimes I wonder what its like to be an only child (I grew up with 3 siblings)
I guess thats what drives you to find if not a mate, at least brothers and sisters

were circumstances such that your parents couldnt have more children?
if you join say, a group of guys, would they not have sisters they could introduce you to

But then when i think on it, none of my female friends ever really introduced me to their brothers, and Ive never really thought anyone would be suitable for my brothers nor play the matchmaker for them, and Im not friends with my siblings friends, we all had our own separate groups of friends. Isnt that funny, sometimes I think thats just going to be the way it is.


I think it would be very differnt if I was an only child it sounds teribly lonely. As such, being alone isnt that much of a hardship for me sometimes its a relief or Ive gotten used to being the only one in a bunch of paired up people and not sort of expected to really find a mate at all...?!
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I find your post interesting, and yet maybe a little bit confusing. :(

i think God put something inside of most people to want a mate, and I don't think it has anything to do with how many brothers or sisters you have. But! I do think that living with brothers and sisters helps teach you social skills.

Your second paragraph I can answer easily. First I'll give you a simple answer. They didn't have anymore kids because they chose not to have anymore kids. They didn't think they could afford anymore so Dad had an operation. Now where things get a little more complicated. Some Christians believe that if God wants you to have kids, even that operation won't stop it. I'm not sure what I think about that.

Your Third Paragraph: All I got to say is, "in groups" are an interesting subject. People seem to gravitate to people with common interests and a common sense of humor. In other words, people gravitate to people they enjoy being around. It seems to be a combination of personality traits, and talents. In School Sports is a big thing! I wasn't athletic. Another big thing was music, but I can't play a musical instrument or sing. I guess that is why I didn't have any friends.

Paragraph Four: I don't have a comment. :)
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#23
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
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#23
sometimes I confuse myself dont worry

My job is to make order out of chaos. But...sometimes I make chaos out of order by accident


I actually know quite a few 'only children' and they seem a bit more desperate to find a mate than others,,or they grow up with only brothers if they are male, or only sisters of they are female....when you are in a family with both brothers and sisters its more like you dont idealise the opposite sex I think.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#24
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#24
also, all of us are technically single if we are not born as twins.
 
Mezame83

Mezame83

Well-known member
#25
Mar 18, 2019
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63
#25
Seeking-Christ said:
All He needed to do was tell me that He was having trouble reading my stuff on his phone, and I would of been happy to make an adjustment. But it seems he assumed that I already knew that. Or maybe He was lazy because it's harder to type on a phone. But whatever the case is, I'm not on this site for conflict.
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Maybe he didn't have trouble, he never said he did.
I don't think he was being lazy. That's just how he is, as Lynx mentioned, he was trying to be helpful. Straight to the point and helpful. That's Sub. 🙂
 
Mezame83

Mezame83

Well-known member
#26
Mar 18, 2019
291
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63
#26
Lynx said:
Well don't worry about it. Sub probably won't say another thing in this thread. Most likely he said to himself, "Well there's one who can't take a word of advice without getting all offended" and went off to do something more profitable. :whistle:
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Sub going off to do something whilst whistling, that I'd like to see. Hehe.
 
Mezame83

Mezame83

Well-known member
#28
Mar 18, 2019
291
316
63
#28
Seeking-Christ said:
I grew up as an only Child. I think my first girl friend was in kindergarten. If you could call her a "girl friend" back then. But my relationship with girls fell apart after that. I wasn't exactly around anyone Godly. The people I went to school with were just about all into drugs and were anti-christian. The only church that was apart of, fell apart after I started attending for 3 years. The friendships I made there, all fell apart when the church went through a major split. Several years after the major split the denomination that owned it, sold it to another church. My parents and I went to another church for 13 years, we went in whiteout friends and left without friends. We then tried another Church for 2 years. The same thing happened. Next we attended another church for a year. It had some theological differences that we as a family don't think are right so we left. Again, we came in without friends and left without friends. Next we went back to a Church that I grew up in. We were there for another year or 2 and Covid hit. They also fired the pastor. Came in without friends and pretty much left without friends. The point I'm trying to make is, I haven't had a good opportunity to cultivate a relationship with a Godly woman. Now let me back up for a few years. For around 11 years of my life, starting around 2002 to 2013 or so, I knew that my only chance might be online dating. It was really hard because I carried some baggage into it. I with some parents who don't think online dating is a good thing. That caused me to limit what sites I could use. I could get by with using the free ones, and Christian and secular social media sites. But I didn't have any luck meeting anyone who lived in my area. So even when I did get someone to talk to me, the relationships quickly fizzled out. And there is more about this I can talk about, but I'm going to leave it here for now...
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Is this something you were wanting advice about or wanting to 'get off your chest' so to speak?
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#29
Aug 13, 2014
27,241
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#29
Mezame83 said:
Sub going off to do something whilst whistling, that I'd like to see. Hehe.
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Yeah, no, I get the impression Sub doesn't whistle a lot. (I could be wrong though. I often am.)

That was my whistling as I go off to do MY own things - which in this case means going off to play X. (Yeah, that's the whole name. A video game named X.)
 
S

Seeking-Christ

Guest
#30
#30
Mezame83 said:
Maybe he didn't have trouble, he never said he did.
I don't think he was being lazy. That's just how he is, as Lynx mentioned, he was trying to be helpful. Straight to the point and helpful. That's Sub. 🙂
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How does making a statement like this helpful?

Subhumanoidal said:
Paragraphs are your friend. They're all our friends.
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Then after I defended myself, he makes this statement.

Subhumanoidal said:
Creating a wall of text will discourage some users from even attempting to read your posts. On my phone with a large screen your post fills the entire screen and beyond.
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He should of made that statement first! I write the way English teachers taught me to write in school!

BTW guys, I met someone on here who writes a HUGE wall of text. As far I could see, nobody got on that person for that!

I'm not saying another word about this.
 
S

Seeking-Christ

Guest
#31
#31
Lanolin said:
sometimes I confuse myself dont worry

My job is to make order out of chaos. But...sometimes I make chaos out of order by accident


I actually know quite a few 'only children' and they seem a bit more desperate to find a mate than others,,or they grow up with only brothers if they are male, or only sisters of they are female....when you are in a family with both brothers and sisters its more like you dont idealise the opposite sex I think.
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What is your occupation? If you don't mind me asking?

I can't make a comment about the 'only children' being more desperate to find a mate thing. I am an only child, but in my experience all the people I know who have brothers or sisters, or brothers and sisters, got a mate fairly quickly. In fact I have heard it said, that people who come from big families often have big families.

Lanolin said:
also, all of us are technically single if we are not born as twins.
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I don't understand what point your trying to make here.
 
S

Seeking-Christ

Guest
#32
#32
Mezame83 said:
Is this something you were wanting advice about or wanting to 'get off your chest' so to speak?
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it's sorta like a blog. Just getting it off my chest. Helping people learn about me. etc.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#33
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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113
#33
Seeking-Christ said:
What is your occupation? If you don't mind me asking?

I can't make a comment about the 'only children' being more desperate to find a mate thing. I am an only child, but in my experience all the people I know who have brothers or sisters, or brothers and sisters, got a mate fairly quickly. In fact I have heard it said, that people who come from big families often have big families.



I don't understand what point your trying to make here.
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librarian

if you dont undertand dont worry, its just an observation ...that is what I do. I read..and I read people.

Big families find mates more quickly because they obviously know more people
only children DO find it more difficult to make friends. Ive observed this cos I work in school where only children do behave differently than those whoe come from big families who are used to the chaos.

Its not you fault but you DO have to rely on yourself a lot of the time.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#34
Dec 15, 2018
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#34
Twins have built in playmates, singles do not, so we have to make the effort to make friends.
my brothers are twins
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#35
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#35
ok the thing about a godly woman (im not that keen on the phrase) is that to be godly, it takes TIME, you wont find 'godly' YOUNG women because...young women just arent that godly!

lol

young women are basically girls in their attitudes and dont know enough about life or experience with God to be 'perfect' or whatever. so you seeking a phantom that dont exist.

if you had sisters you would know, from living in close quarters with girls, what they are like...!
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#36
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#36
iS probably just me but nobody I know ever says of themselves 'I'm godly' or 'Im godly, pick me'

and no woman I know ever says of a man cor...he's just so...GODLY.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#37
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#37
especially when his socks smell or he left the toilet seat up again.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#38
Aug 13, 2014
27,241
9,301
113
#38
Lanolin said:
iS probably just me but nobody I know ever says of themselves 'I'm godly' or 'Im godly, pick me'

and no woman I know ever says of a man cor...he's just so...GODLY.
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I dunno... I've heard a few women talking up how godly their men are. Some women appreciate it.
 
S

Seeking-Christ

Guest
#39
#39
I have heard people say that only children are spoiled. I have always resented that statement because my parents don't have a lot of money and I don't think I got just whatever I wanted... I always took very good care of my toys and other things because I knew we couldn't just go get a new one. With that being said, I might be spoiled in the sense that I never had to put up with brothers or sisters competing with me. Although, my dad who came from a family of Him and Two Girls, said He had to act like my brother, and pick on me. lol
 
S

Seeking-Christ

Guest
#40
#40
I work for a school. I'm a second shift janitor, so I'm around female teachers at the end of their day. As well as some of the female cafeteria workers at the end of their shift. There are around 50 females in that school, and only around 5 guys. I kinda think I understand females better then I'm given credit for. This has happened many times in my life. A woman or girl does or says something strange to me. Something that either hurts me or I just don't understand. When I start to tell a female about it, she will say something like: "Girls are weird" or "You know women" But as I finish my story, the response is more like. "Oh! That is Bad!" Like she was expecting some little female quirk or something, and finds out it is a whole lot worse.

*I can overlook little quirks. To be fair, even us guys, have little quirks.
 
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