Homosexual Brother In Law

[tstumf]

I know this is getting to be a long thread and An old thread, but I thought it important to keep it all on one area rather than a dozen small ones in hopes someone someday can find this more easily to help in their own situations. we are down to the week before this happens. She has confirmed that she is still going. I’ve Been praying morning, noon and night through this all since it first surfaced. I find it interesting she came to me the other night with changed motives. It was several months ago she claimed she had to go to be there “for her brother”. Now she is shifting position and saying she is only going for the day and is only going “for her mother”. I’m praying for a miracle that when it comes time she just can’t do it.

It’s at this time though I feel I need to prepare myself and get my mind right for what I should do and what is appropriate response . So I’m welcoming council on how a Christian man and husband is to lovingly approach this. Do I let it go, forgive and continue on with life as normal as if this never happened? I get the feeling this has this revealed something worldly hidden In my marriage where the roles of marriage are all messed up. I could be wrong but When I read scripture Holy Spirit highlights certain passages that talk about the quarrelsome/nagging wife Proverbs 27 15-16 and again scriptures that show the marriage headship design
It would at my reading and understanding of biblical Marriage roles suggest that I have revealed that I may have a wife who does not respect my head position in the marriage. Her words give service to the position of husband but am I to take her action as being un-submissive to my position? Do I confront it as I feel I might need to? Or just let it go. Forgive and try to forget. Am I reading into this too much for this reason I’m Seeking wise counsel. I’m also open to the suggestion of marriage counseling although I don’t think she is because the last time I suggested that for another separate issue she went ballistic at me even mentioning it. Thoughts?

 

[CS1]

I know this is getting to be a long thread and An old thread, but I thought it important to keep it all on one area rather than a dozen small ones in hopes someone someday can find this more easily to help in their own situations. we are down to the week before this happens. She has confirmed that she is still going. I’ve Been praying morning, noon and night through this all since it first surfaced. I find it interesting she came to me the other night with changed motives. It was several months ago she claimed she had to go to be there “for her brother”. Now she is shifting position and saying she is only going for the day and is only going “for her mother”. I’m praying for a miracle that when it comes time she just can’t do it.

It’s at this time though I feel I need to prepare myself and get my mind right for what I should do and what is appropriate response . So I’m welcoming council on how a Christian man and husband is to lovingly approach this. Do I let it go, forgive and continue on with life as normal as if this never happened? I get the feeling this has this revealed something worldly hidden In my marriage where the roles of marriage are all messed up. I could be wrong but When I read scripture Holy Spirit highlights certain passages that talk about the quarrelsome/nagging wife Proverbs 27 15-16 and again scriptures that show the marriage headship design
It would at my reading and understanding of biblical Marriage roles suggest that I have revealed that I may have a wife who does not respect my head position in the marriage. Her words give service to the position of husband but am I to take her action as being un-submissive to my position? Do I confront it as I feel I might need to? Or just let it go. Forgive and try to forget. Am I reading into this too much for this reason I’m Seeking wise counsel. I’m also open to the suggestion of marriage counseling although I don’t think she is because the last time I suggested that for another separate issue she went ballistic at me even mentioning it. Thoughts?

I hate to say this but much of this LGBTQ has taken root because of mothers whose love for their children has accepted it. The Love of a Mother is like no other. When my mother went to my Cuzin gay wedding and wanted to do the service I said no and I would not go.

I wish him well but God will not bless sin. it is no different than those who shack up. I told them they are adding to the abuse he has suffered.


After his marriage, everyone was so happy and his life seemed to be getting better. he and his partner were working he was a certified nurse all things going well until he went back to the drugs just after one month of this happiest day of his life. WHY?

because sin brings torment and no peace. There is pleasure in sin but only for sin. I told my mother you will answer for this because you helped abuse this man instead of helping him you went along with the false lie and deception, thinking it was showing love. In the end my Mother and family did what did, and now that is between them and God. I stood as God has told me to do.

 

[tstumf]

I hate to say this but much of this LGBTQ has taken root because of mothers whose love for their children has accepted it. The Love of a Mother is like no other. When my mother went to my Cuzin gay wedding and wanted to do the service I said no and I would not go.

I wish him well but God will not bless sin. it is no different than those who shack up. I told them they are adding to the abuse he has suffered.


After his marriage, everyone was so happy and his life seemed to be getting better. he and his partner were working he was a certified nurse all things going well until he went back to the drugs just after one month of this happiest day of his life. WHY?

because sin brings torment and no peace. There is pleasure in sin but only for sin. I told my mother you will answer for this because you helped abuse this man instead of helping him you went along with the false lie and deception, thinking it was showing love. In the end my Mother and family did what did, and now that is between them and God. I stood as God has told me to do.

Thankyou. I guess what I’m wondering is. Should I view this as in the context of the plank and speck from the sermon on the mount from here on and in doing so leave it alone and focus on my planks and leave my wife’s speck alone and just continue to work around her speck ignoring it and trust God will correct her when he sees fit .Or do I as a husband have an obligation to God as her head to point out this speck to her and how it hurts our marriage and try to seek a solution with her?

 

[Gideon300]

Hello there. I have myself quite a situation. My wife’s brother is a Homosexual and recently got “married” to his partner in California. The ceremony was private due to covid but now that the restrictions are gone they want to have a larger reception in October and want us there. I’m torn on this cause they are nice people but there is something telling me not to go. I have this feeling that I would be engaging in celebration of someone’s sin which I’m very against. It also concerns me about the example I’m setting for my 5 year old boy. He would be watching daddy compromise his beliefs and watching daddy essentially celebrate sin. Am I thinking on this the wrong way as a Christian man, husband and father? If I stand against this lead my family as God intended and refuse to attend it will absolutely make family members very angry and disappointed in me. It’s probably going to add stress to an already weak marriage of mine cause my wife believes she needs to be there for her brother. This isn’t the first issue we have had regarding the Homosexual brother in law. My wife’s family is also pushing us to allow the Homosexual couple to be my sons legal guardian/ godparents if we were to pass on. My wife thinks it’s a great idea but I’m not ok with this because I believe that as a father I have the duty to give my son the best chance at living in a Christian household with a strong masculine husband and wife marriage. I have a brother who is married but my wife doesn’t get along with them. She has a sister with a husband but she has that one out of the question as well. I’m trying to get out ahead of this before it becomes all a big train wreck but I keep stumbling. Please help. How do I lead my family through this mess? If nothing else please pray for us.

We pray with you for wisdom. I would stand your ground, especially since you have the inner witness not to go. Lord Jesus said that we must "hate" family if they hinder our work in God's kingdom. It means that we put the Kingdom of God above every other priority.

My ex wife rejected the advice of the elders and me to stay away from her brother's funeral. Our advice may seem heartless. All her unbelieving relatives, who she rarely saw, were there. Over period of time, they lured her away from the Lord. I came home from work one day to find a bunch of strangers in my home. I said "Gooday mate" to one of them. She turned out to be my sister in law. I seriously thought she was a man. She was a Lesbian and an activist. I left them to their party.

The Bible says that bad company corrupts good morals. If the price of staying free and clean is upset relatives, so be it. I'd rather upset a relative than offend my heavenly Father.

 

[Gideon300]

Noted. And if I’m being honest about myself I am and always have been the “nice guy” who doesn’t say much. Generally agreeable and Probably Tiptoed around people’s feelings most of my life and regrettably probably to my detriment. I’m introverted naturally in my personality so confrontation is really not my strength. it’s kind of a double whammy to me getting put in this situation. maybe that’s God speaking that it’s time to stand firm perhaps?

That may well be true. From time to time, every Christian faces issues that he is not equipped to face. That is intended to make us grow. I'm Melancholic by temperament. I did a study where I was to state my strengths and weaknesses. I left the strengths column blank. I could not see any. The Lord has lifted me out of that negativity. I'm still not the bubbly, life of the party person. But I presented a paper to 300 people at a company conference, without any fear.

We cannot change ourselves and it is a waste of time trying. But Lord Jesus came to set the captives free. He will change us. All He requires is our willingness.

 

[tstumf]

That may well be true. From time to time, every Christian faces issues that he is not equipped to face. That is intended to make us grow. I'm Melancholic by temperament. I did a study where I was to state my strengths and weaknesses. I left the strengths column blank. I could not see any. The Lord has lifted me out of that negativity. I'm still not the bubbly, life of the party person. But I presented a paper to 300 people at a company conference, without any fear.

We cannot change ourselves and it is a waste of time trying. But Lord Jesus came to set the captives free. He will change us. All He requires is our willingness.

well Thankyou for the encouragement. I cannot fathom trying to present a paper to 300 people without becoming paralyzed in fear. I could barely pass public speaking class at a small junior college. The mere thought of standing in front of people even just a small classroom gives me anxiety. I pray God will deliver me from that fear one day as he has done for you.

 

[Seeker47]

Your words:

“Do I let it go, forgive and continue on with life as normal as if this never happened…”
“this has revealed something worldly hidden In my marriage…”
“the roles of marriage are all messed up…”
“the quarrelsome/nagging wife…”
“the marriage headship design…”
“a wife who does not respect my head position in the marriage…”
“un-submissive to my position…”

My words:

“Yes, indeed, there is something wrong.”

 

[GardenofWeeden]

Thoughts?

I am in the mindset that nothing you say or do to/for your wife will be as impactful as anything God will do. To me we are just supposed to love people and let God dole out the punishment and correction. (and no I won't debate that...just my opinion, y'all do you) I prefer to draw people in by showing them Christ working in my life, than by telling them. Sometimes i am the only jesus people see.
So with that in mind, when people ask me, I will tell them. Along with telling them my opinion, I also make sure to tell them whatever sin i see (homosexuality, transgender, living together, or whatever) it doesn't change the love i have for them. And I also tell them I have sin in my own life so we are similar. Notice I didn't say we are the same, just similar. I don't want them to be scared to come to me when they are ready to accept Christ, so I don't want anyone to think I am sitting here judging them....if that makes sense. But again, that's just my opinion.

 

[tstumf]

I am in the mindset that nothing you say or do to/for your wife will be as impactful as anything God will do. To me we are just supposed to love people and let God dole out the punishment and correction. (and no I won't debate that...just my opinion, y'all do you) I prefer to draw people in by showing them Christ working in my life, than by telling them. Sometimes i am the only jesus people see.
So with that in mind, when people ask me, I will tell them. Along with telling them my opinion, I also make sure to tell them whatever sin i see (homosexuality, transgender, living together, or whatever) it doesn't change the love i have for them. And I also tell them I have sin in my own life so we are similar. Notice I didn't say we are the same, just similar. I don't want them to be scared to come to me when they are ready to accept Christ, so I don't want anyone to think I am sitting here judging them....if that makes sense. But again, that's just my opinion.

well Thankyou for your opinion. It’s really hard to get the average person to voice their opinion or views on stuff in conversations lately. Lately the in person conversations I’ve had related to this stuff have been with people so wishy washy I have actually walked away from the conversations more confused than then I initiated the conversations with these people. No one wants to put themselves out there with a firm voice on controversial or sensitive conversation topics like this seems like and it gets so isolating as the person trying to navigate this situation at times. The oddest response I got from someone about this lately after spilling my story to them was a shoulder shrug and “it is what it is” that’s all I got from them . So Thank-you, your opinion is much appreciated.

 

[GardenofWeeden]

well Thankyou for your opinion. It’s really hard to get the average person to voice their opinion or views on stuff in conversations lately. Lately the in person conversations I’ve had related to this stuff have been with people so wishy washy I have actually walked away from the conversations more confused than then I initiated the conversations with these people. No one wants to put themselves out there with a firm voice on controversial or sensitive conversation topics like this seems like and it gets so isolating as the person trying to navigate this situation at times. The oddest response I got from someone about this lately after spilling my story to them was a shoulder shrug and “it is what it is” that’s all I got from them . So Thank-you, your opinion is much appreciated.

Oh I am definitely opinionated...I just feel opinions are like heinies, everyone has one, some are just stinkier than others, and mine is no more important than anyone else's, except to me.

 

[CS1]

Thankyou. I guess what I’m wondering is. Should I view this as in the context of the plank and speck from the sermon on the mount from here on and in doing so leave it alone and focus on my planks and leave my wife’s speck alone and just continue to work around her speck ignoring it and trust God will correct her when he sees fit .Or do I as a husband have an obligation to God as her head to point out this speck to her and how it hurts our marriage and try to seek a solution with her?

no your wife will make the

Thankyou. I guess what I’m wondering is. Should I view this as in the context of the plank and speck from the sermon on the mount from here on and in doing so leave it alone and focus on my planks and leave my wife’s speck alone and just continue to work around her speck ignoring it and trust God will correct her when he sees fit .Or do I as a husband have an obligation to God as her head to point out this speck to her and how it hurts our marriage and try to seek a solution with her?

You have told your wife your wishes, she will obey or not God will deal with you and he will deal with her. No need to fight pray and trust the Lord. I have had God correct me and I have seen God correct my wife. He is very able to do both.

 

[MatthewWestfieldUK]

There are so many needy causes needing my energy. I don't allow arguments to drain my time.
You have to be respectful and polite. But live your life as u see fit.
Just don't expect a medal.

 

[tstumf]

no your wife will make the

You have told your wife your wishes, she will obey or not God will deal with you and he will deal with her. No need to fight pray and trust the Lord. I have had God correct me and I have seen God correct my wife. He is very able to do both.

Thank you, I appreciate you taking the time with this whole thing. There is so much bad information , or worldly and unGodly relationship information being passed around when a guy starts to seek what is true ,just and right I think the evil one intentionally comes in and tries to create conflict from the confusion. I will remain peaceful and silent about it and let God work it out.

 

[tstumf]

There are so many needy causes needing my energy. I don't allow arguments to drain my time.
You have to be respectful and polite. But live your life as u see fit.
Just don't expect a medal.

I understand. Thankyou

 

[Gideon300]

well Thankyou for the encouragement. I cannot fathom trying to present a paper to 300 people without becoming paralyzed in fear. I could barely pass public speaking class at a small junior college. The mere thought of standing in front of people even just a small classroom gives me anxiety. I pray God will deliver me from that fear one day as he has done for you.

My favourite song for a long time was psalm 34 set to music. "I sought the Lord and He heard my voice, and delivered me from all my fears". I remember how the freedom began. I was invited to play guitar in a religious instruction class, back when it was acceptable in a school. I was starting to stress, and the Lord showed me that they were just kids and I had nothing to be afraid of. As for the presentation, I spent hours preparing it, so I at least knew the stuff. "Proper preparation prevents poor performance". Fear is a terrible bondage and utterly unnecessary. It took years for me to get real freedom.

Ask God to show you how much He loves you. I know the Bible tells us so, but we need more than words in a book. We need to see that God loves us as we are, that He does not expect perfection from us, that He knows we will fail from time to time and it's OK. Ask God to deliver you from being self conscious. "What will people think?" is a futile question. The only opinion that counts is God's - not even your opinion about yourself! God has put you into Jesus and you are acceptable in the Beloved. Start thanking God that you are a new creation, that the old you has passed away and that Lord Jesus is now your life. Don't worry if you don't feel like a new person. Go by God's word. The feelings will line up sooner or later.

 

[CS1]

Thank you, I appreciate you taking the time with this whole thing. There is so much bad information , or worldly and unGodly relationship information being passed around when a guy starts to seek what is true ,just and right I think the evil one intentionally comes in and tries to create conflict from the confusion. I will remain peaceful and silent about it and let God work it out.

the word of God says when I try to do good evil is all around me

 

[Aaron56]

I know this is getting to be a long thread and An old thread, but I thought it important to keep it all on one area rather than a dozen small ones in hopes someone someday can find this more easily to help in their own situations. we are down to the week before this happens. She has confirmed that she is still going. I’ve Been praying morning, noon and night through this all since it first surfaced. I find it interesting she came to me the other night with changed motives. It was several months ago she claimed she had to go to be there “for her brother”. Now she is shifting position and saying she is only going for the day and is only going “for her mother”. I’m praying for a miracle that when it comes time she just can’t do it.

It’s at this time though I feel I need to prepare myself and get my mind right for what I should do and what is appropriate response . So I’m welcoming council on how a Christian man and husband is to lovingly approach this. Do I let it go, forgive and continue on with life as normal as if this never happened? I get the feeling this has this revealed something worldly hidden In my marriage where the roles of marriage are all messed up. I could be wrong but When I read scripture Holy Spirit highlights certain passages that talk about the quarrelsome/nagging wife Proverbs 27 15-16 and again scriptures that show the marriage headship design
It would at my reading and understanding of biblical Marriage roles suggest that I have revealed that I may have a wife who does not respect my head position in the marriage. Her words give service to the position of husband but am I to take her action as being un-submissive to my position? Do I confront it as I feel I might need to? Or just let it go. Forgive and try to forget. Am I reading into this too much for this reason I’m Seeking wise counsel. I’m also open to the suggestion of marriage counseling although I don’t think she is because the last time I suggested that for another separate issue she went ballistic at me even mentioning it. Thoughts?

If you were my son in the Lord I would give you the following counsel:

1st: you and your wife are one flesh. Allow nothing to separate you, as much as you are able.
2nd: Even though she does not receive you as her head, you were made her head by grace in Christ and by covenant. You are her head, there is no one else who may be her head. You’re all she’s got.
3rd: You are empowered to cover her “because of the angels”. The angels, in this matter, are demons. Without your protection she is vulnerable to their schemes. Some might say, “The Lord could cover her” and they would be correct. But the Lord sent YOU to do so, with his grace and power. Fear not.
Finally, remind her of your objection and why you believe it is not wise to go BUT tell her you will go with her because you love her and that the two of you are one. Also, if it can be managed, find a babysitter for your son for the day.

I walked this out with my wife who had a friend who was very liberal. After three years, she came home from one of their coffee times and said that she ceased her friendship with the woman. It was difficult for her to end the relationship but she knew the Lord was telling her it was over.

Fear not, young man. True love cannot be faked or fabricated.

Blessings,
Aaron56

 

[WGreyHawk]

Noted. And if I’m being honest about myself I am and always have been the “nice guy” who doesn’t say much. Generally agreeable and Probably Tiptoed around people’s feelings most of my life and regrettably probably to my detriment. I’m introverted naturally in my personality so confrontation is really not my strength. it’s kind of a double whammy to me getting put in this situation. maybe that’s God speaking that it’s time to stand firm perhaps?

It is important to be a man and stand up for yourself. However, know that your wife (I presume a liberal) isn't likely to appreciate it. You are the head of your family. You should have the final say after weighing everything out. This is the way God designed the family, with the husband as the head. Unfortunately for you, it sounds like you were unequally yoked in your marriage from the start.

 

[tstumf]

It is important to be a man and stand up for yourself. However, know that your wife (I presume a liberal) isn't likely to appreciate it. You are the head of your family. You should have the final say after weighing everything out. This is the way God designed the family, with the husband as the head. Unfortunately for you, it sounds like you were unequally yoked in your marriage from the start.

The unequal yoked thing has me spinning my wheels though. I wish I could name this as that simple but I’m not sure it is. Can you really call it an unequal yoke in Gods eyes if she professes to be Christian but yet still refuses to accept headship? (Her mother has a big problem with the headship stuff as well and is quite vocal about her disagreement with those scriptures that show men as head.) We’re married 8 years. She votes conservative, Talks conservative. She only goes along with my lead only as long as it’s agreeable to her and doesn’t inconvenience her. As soon as it’s not agreeable though she does as she wants. I don’t know what to make of it. Probably stuff that needs hammered out in marriage counseling. Who knows what that’s going to surface. I’m just taking it a day at a time these days just doing the best I know how through prayer and Gods leading. Beyond that I don’t know where to take this problem. Most men I approach on this situation really don’t have too much to offer that hasn’t already been discussed here. I’m just calling in prayer for unity in my marriage at this point.

 

[WGreyHawk]

The unequal yoked thing has me spinning my wheels though. I wish I could name this as that simple but I’m not sure it is. Can you really call it an unequal yoke in Gods eyes if she professes to be Christian but yet still refuses to accept headship? (Her mother has a big problem with the headship stuff as well and is quite vocal about her disagreement with those scriptures that show men as head.) We’re married 8 years. She votes conservative, Talks conservative. She only goes along with my lead only as long as it’s agreeable to her and doesn’t inconvenience her. As soon as it’s not agreeable though she does as she wants. I don’t know what to make of it. Probably stuff that needs hammered out in marriage counseling. Who knows what that’s going to surface. I’m just taking it a day at a time these days just doing the best I know how through prayer and Gods leading. Beyond that I don’t know where to take this problem. Most men I approach on this situation really don’t have too much to offer that hasn’t already been discussed here. I’m just calling in prayer for unity in my marriage at this point.

Alright, sounds like how my marriage started out. My wife did that too; however, she actually wanted me to make more decisions. Start gently asserting yourself with love; yet, at the same time, make sure you listen to her. And sounds like I was wrong about the unequally yoked part, sorry. As you gain confidence, discuss these things with her. You told me what your MIL thinks... now, what does your wife think about Biblical headship?