ArtsieSteph's dad's cancer superthread
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I didn't say anything before, because I didn't want to add to your worries, but bad side effects are a good thing. When cancer therapy goes easily, it often means it's not working. The crappier he feels, the more the treatment is working.
It sucks, but it's a good thing.
John learned this when he was studying up on chemotherapy and when he was studying up on cancer therapies. He was middle-of-the-road side-effecting. It was bad, but he also studied enough to know he was given a break on how bad bad can get. He "only" got up to shivering uncontrollable for days on end, and knowing wayyyy too much about what was coming out "the other end" compared to what he ate, when he could eat. (Only person I know who can tell the difference between root beer, peppermint, wintergreen, and licorice hard candies based on what comes out the other end. lol) And he had all the way up to little-vomiting, (versus projectile vomiting.) But as hard as it was to be there for him while he went through all that, the chemo was working.
He was one of the first people ever to get the word "cured" for Hep C. (If anything, before that, people were told, "in remission.") And he was one of the first people to get the word "cured" for the cancer on his kidney. AND he got that word through another word you just learned -- "cryoablation."
Now, kidney cancer and stomach cancer are two different kinds of cancer, so I still can't tell if this will work out for your dad, but this I know. I am happier to hear he doesn't feel well, than I would have been if he did feel well.
And, something else that I appreciate knowing because I do keep a mental scrapbook on what the Lord has done for/to us over the years. The Lord can fix anything before it even happens. He can fix stuff moments after it happens. But we are the 11:59:59 people. (John and I are.) For us, the Lord tends to fix stuff at the last possible moment when there is nothing else that can be done, and no other schemes and plans we can come up with. He waits for 11:59:59, when midnight is the deadline. BUT he does give us what we need then.
So, just because this is the last thing your dad can try, does not mean it will fail. My experience is God stretches us more and more to give us that patience thingy and that perseverance thingy whether we want it or not! (And, I never want it until it's over. lol)
Do not give up. The Lord does this to his kids often, and it still comes down to two lessons he wants us to get:
1. I love you more than you will ever know.
2. Trust me.
That's it. Every lesson the Lord gives to us is one of those two lessons. The huge lessons are both of them.
This is working out exactly like the Lord planned it, exactly for your good, your dad's good, your family's good, and always to God's glory!
It sucks, but it's a good thing.
John learned this when he was studying up on chemotherapy and when he was studying up on cancer therapies. He was middle-of-the-road side-effecting. It was bad, but he also studied enough to know he was given a break on how bad bad can get. He "only" got up to shivering uncontrollable for days on end, and knowing wayyyy too much about what was coming out "the other end" compared to what he ate, when he could eat. (Only person I know who can tell the difference between root beer, peppermint, wintergreen, and licorice hard candies based on what comes out the other end. lol) And he had all the way up to little-vomiting, (versus projectile vomiting.) But as hard as it was to be there for him while he went through all that, the chemo was working.
He was one of the first people ever to get the word "cured" for Hep C. (If anything, before that, people were told, "in remission.") And he was one of the first people to get the word "cured" for the cancer on his kidney. AND he got that word through another word you just learned -- "cryoablation."
Now, kidney cancer and stomach cancer are two different kinds of cancer, so I still can't tell if this will work out for your dad, but this I know. I am happier to hear he doesn't feel well, than I would have been if he did feel well.
And, something else that I appreciate knowing because I do keep a mental scrapbook on what the Lord has done for/to us over the years. The Lord can fix anything before it even happens. He can fix stuff moments after it happens. But we are the 11:59:59 people. (John and I are.) For us, the Lord tends to fix stuff at the last possible moment when there is nothing else that can be done, and no other schemes and plans we can come up with. He waits for 11:59:59, when midnight is the deadline. BUT he does give us what we need then.
So, just because this is the last thing your dad can try, does not mean it will fail. My experience is God stretches us more and more to give us that patience thingy and that perseverance thingy whether we want it or not! (And, I never want it until it's over. lol)
Do not give up. The Lord does this to his kids often, and it still comes down to two lessons he wants us to get:
1. I love you more than you will ever know.
2. Trust me.
That's it. Every lesson the Lord gives to us is one of those two lessons. The huge lessons are both of them.
This is working out exactly like the Lord planned it, exactly for your good, your dad's good, your family's good, and always to God's glory!
The stomach doctor said that the tumor looks longer than it did before so we’re thinking that the cancer is progressing at least the two my part in his stomach. This means that the current treatment isn’t working, and that he will most likely have to go to an immune therapy. This is good but also scary because that’s kind of the last line of defense for him and it’s got a lot of uncertainty of what’s going to happen and how his immune system is going to work with it…
D
I think panicking is the proper response to a love one vomiting. That and a large desire to vomit next to himm, (while patting him on the back, as if that is reassuring.) I don't know why either. It's just how I am.
All I ever got out of that is I would stink at being a nurse.
Steph? Really, really! You're allowed to feel whatever you feel. There is no right or wrong to a feeling. It just is. Go with it, or else you're going to pile onto it other feelings, like guilt, and helplessness, I'm-a-dumbass, and so much else. We can't stop feelings, so go with it.
What else would you expect -- joy, happiness, contentment, unicorns and rainbows? Yeah, no. Not gonna happen. They're going to be not-the-fun-side of feelings. It's okay. You're supposed to have them. If you did not, THEN I would be worried.
I think you worry too much about your emotions. To a T, you're having the exact same emotions I would have. AND, kind of proud of you because you didn't vomit on him when he was vomiting. I might have. (Hubby has come close to it, when watching me, so he has to leave the room. lol)
Stop beating yourself up. You're doing as expected. This is not an easy thing you're going through, and you're handling it in real terms. You aren't hiding how you feel, which is good, because that comes around and makes it worse too.
You. Are. NOT. A wimp. Stop worrying that you are.
All I ever got out of that is I would stink at being a nurse.
Steph? Really, really! You're allowed to feel whatever you feel. There is no right or wrong to a feeling. It just is. Go with it, or else you're going to pile onto it other feelings, like guilt, and helplessness, I'm-a-dumbass, and so much else. We can't stop feelings, so go with it.
What else would you expect -- joy, happiness, contentment, unicorns and rainbows? Yeah, no. Not gonna happen. They're going to be not-the-fun-side of feelings. It's okay. You're supposed to have them. If you did not, THEN I would be worried.
I think you worry too much about your emotions. To a T, you're having the exact same emotions I would have. AND, kind of proud of you because you didn't vomit on him when he was vomiting. I might have. (Hubby has come close to it, when watching me, so he has to leave the room. lol)
Stop beating yourself up. You're doing as expected. This is not an easy thing you're going through, and you're handling it in real terms. You aren't hiding how you feel, which is good, because that comes around and makes it worse too.
You. Are. NOT. A wimp. Stop worrying that you are.
D
A stent goes in the heart usually. 
Do you mean a shunt?
Do you mean a shunt?
), it's kind of like a tube, so wouldn't it be put in there to make the exit wider? Thus letting him eat like normal?I think a shunt goes through the skin. When you're fed through a tube into the stomach, and it's been long enough they don't want to keep it through the nose anymore, then they add a shunt right through the skin into the stomach. (John's second belly button is still there, but smaller. It looks like a belly button, but it was the port/shunt into his stomach.)
Stent sounds like they're still working toward letting him eat the old-fashioned way -- through the mouth, tasting it, enjoying it, and letting him drink and eat when he wants to, versus on schedule.
What I'm getting from this. Then again, since my first sentence proved I'm not big on sciency words, you might be right.
D
That goes back to my way of panicking as needed. That bridge thing again. This time you see the bridge, and actually have a name for it. "Stent going in." You will go over that bridge. He will have a procedure to help him eat tomorrow. BUT, you can look back and see all the other procedures he's already had that were neither bad or good. Necessary, but nothing went wrong. In all likelihood he will get that stent. And, in all likelihood, it will be without a hitch. Withhold panic.
Reserve it for if something does go wrong. Because it is very unlikely anything will tomorrow, so panicking now kind of wastes a perfectly good, and necessary, panic.
And you really do have two perfectly good reasons to panic now:
1. Dad is vomiting.
2. He's down to one last type of treatment to help him.
So, far, no reason to panic over tomorrow's bridge.
Of course, worry is optional. (Rumor has it we're not supposed to worry, since we are God's kids, but that has never stopped me from worrying anyway. I'm very good at worrying. It does absolutely nothing for me, but I find it helps other worried people to know they aren't alone worrying. So know this, I've been here all along, because I worry about you, your dad, your mom, your sister, your BIL, and Blain. Blain, because I know he's worried about you too.) So, feel free to worry, because you're not alone worrying.
Oh, and if God is able to stop you from worrying, then you don't have to worry. It is optional. (At least, that's the rumor floating around.)
Reserve it for if something does go wrong. Because it is very unlikely anything will tomorrow, so panicking now kind of wastes a perfectly good, and necessary, panic.
And you really do have two perfectly good reasons to panic now:
1. Dad is vomiting.
2. He's down to one last type of treatment to help him.
So, far, no reason to panic over tomorrow's bridge.
Of course, worry is optional. (Rumor has it we're not supposed to worry, since we are God's kids, but that has never stopped me from worrying anyway. I'm very good at worrying. It does absolutely nothing for me, but I find it helps other worried people to know they aren't alone worrying. So know this, I've been here all along, because I worry about you, your dad, your mom, your sister, your BIL, and Blain. Blain, because I know he's worried about you too.
) So, feel free to worry, because you're not alone worrying.Oh, and if God is able to stop you from worrying, then you don't have to worry. It is optional. (At least, that's the rumor floating around.)