Am I the Only One?

Encouragement · Oct 13, 2020

Hi LoneGirl02 Thanks for your response.Yep coming to you from Croydon and itz a damp rainy kinda day here..🌨🌨🌧🌧
Ok I an glad you do have siblings coz it would be more crushing if you were an only child...
Gosh I can really feel they sense of enclosure around you and the family dynamic.Home schooled and also home church too...so now that you are 17 what's the plan regarding education?Plus to go to any college you would need specific entry grades for certain courses...!
I think all the members on here should come to your home and politely ask if we could all take you to the beach for the day to admire the sea,pebbles and yam some fish and chips with a can of Pepsi.. 😊😊
You will be at home with your parents for now and one day your circumstances will most definitely change.There are many Christian's whose lifes is sheltered..some are not allowed to watch t.v..listen to secular music,go out to a wihe bar,told how to dress,make up is banned and a whole host of other things with the view to be keeping them from being corrupted by the world and to have some kind of holiness by deprivation...
You do seem to have good social interaction skills with us on here which is good as sometimes being kept from experiencing social interactions ect ..can cause shyness,social anxiety and even lacking streetwise skills in some.
I look forward to the day that somehow there's a change..even if its small.. itz a start.
may God give you time and opportunity to live a little,gain life experiences and balancing that out with what ur mean to be in the world...but not of the world..🌏🌏

Blain · Oct 13, 2020

LoneGirl02 said:

Trust me your not alone in this, I didn't grow up in a Christian home but like you my family is very controlling I have not been able to have a any kind of social life I sometimes even have emotional and mental breakdowns it happened really bad about three weeks ago and my family not listening to me or even trying to understand tried to put me in a mental hospital
I seem to be the only one who has any understanding of morality or being a Christian and the damage my family has done to me mentally because of all this is a constant battle every day but no it is not rebellious to want this it is normal.

Humans are social creatures have you seen the effects that isolation and solitude can do on a person? There is a reason this is used as a torture method. But I agree it seems because everyone is able to go out in the world they are corrupted by it people go to parties they get wasted they do drugs corruption is everywhere and it requires a high and strong moral heart to be able to not be corrupted in turn.

And yet what we lack in this God gives us in a different way, if I was not alone so much I doubt I would have grown so intimately close with him and I learned and became sensative to his voice because I was always looking for and listening for him I mean who did I have? Your relationship with God and the isolation you deal with are no accident they are deeply intertwined it is because you are alone that you are able to spend so much time with him and in doing so will bring you far closer to him than you can imagine.

I will tell you the first and best advice he ever gave me seek love first above everything else and then everything will be given to you. Let him be what you lack in life let him be your own personal diary the more you talk with him just expressing everything asking questions seeking to know have and understand his love the easier it becomes eventually it just becomes instinct

Encouragement · Oct 13, 2020

Blain said:

Trust me your not alone in this, I didn't grow up in a Christian home but like you my family is very controlling I have not been able to have a any kind of social life I sometimes even have emotional and mental breakdowns it happened really bad about three weeks ago and my family not listening to me or even trying to understand tried to put me in a mental hospital
I seem to be the only one who has any understanding of morality or being a Christian and the damage my family has done to me mentally because of all this is a constant battle every day but no it is not rebellious to want this it is normal.

Humans are social creatures have you seen the effects that isolation and solitude can do on a person? There is a reason this is used as a torture method. But I agree it seems because everyone is able to go out in the world they are corrupted by it people go to parties they get wasted they do drugs corruption is everywhere and it requires a high and strong moral heart to be able to not be corrupted in turn.

And yet what we lack in this God gives us in a different way, if I was not alone so much I doubt I would have grown so intimately close with him and I learned and became sensative to his voice because I was always looking for and listening for him I mean who did I have? Your relationship with God and the isolation you deal with are no accident they are deeply intertwined it is because you are alone that you are able to spend so much time with him and in doing so will bring you far closer to him than you can imagine.

I will tell you the first and best advice he ever gave me seek love first above everything else and then everything will be given to you. Let him be what you lack in life let him be your own personal diary the more you talk with him just expressing everything asking questions seeking to know have and understand his love the easier it becomes eventually it just becomes instinct

Yes thus is also true because you have no idea what the future may hold and whatever foundations are laid at this stage in your life my well be what upholds you morally In the future when you are no longer living at home and have much greater respondibility for your own life.
The deeper the roots the greater the capacity to stand against the winds that may blow.

oyster67 · Oct 13, 2020

John
6:66 From that [time] many of his disciples went back, and walked no more with him.
6:67 Then said Jesus unto the twelve, Will ye also go away?
6:68 Then Simon Peter answered him, Lord, to whom shall we go? thou hast the words of eternal life.
6:69 And we believe and are sure that thou art that Christ, the Son of the living God.

He made me.
He loved me.
He died for me.
He longs for me to draw near to Him this very day.

James
4:7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
4:8 Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you.

I, like Simon Peter, am resolved to follow my Savior.

Blain · Oct 13, 2020

Encouragement said:

Yes exactly Father has always guided me in the way to go and so even though it is hard and takes a toll on me mentally I trust he knows what he is doing one day I hope to be the kind of man that I see in him and in the waiting patience maturity and endurance builds.

Blain · Oct 13, 2020

oyster67 said:

Ineed who else would we go to, notice how few actually stayed with him they knew the truth and his words spoke to them that is why they stayed it says a lot for such a simple sounding verse.

justahumanbeing · Oct 14, 2020

LoneGirl02 said:

My friend, by now you have received so many replies and I went through a lot of those and people here have covered a lot of what should be said and I am sure you would have received a lot of positive input. I just want to add that no matter what your age, you will go through times of loneliness. And then there will be times where there are others who will have your back. And then will come the times where people will back stab you, especially those whom you thought would not. You will feel betrayed. Always be prepared and ready. People will never be perfect and will not be what you expect them to be. That includes family

I've gone through these emotions. I'm 33 now. I'm still something of a loner. Though not when I am in the company of friends. In my case, it's a lot harder. Has always been. I was never encouraged to bring friends home. I wasn't encouraged to have friends. But then, sadly, I have very few true friends. Maybe 1 or 2 if I'm lucky. I know a lot of people. Not many well wishers out there. You may not like your parents now for what they do. But they and your siblings will be the ones who are there for you at many times now and in the future when you need them. It's not gonna be perfect. But, you'll have to make do with what you get. And give while you can. And keep giving them your love. Don't expect in return. Because all this is temporary. Cherish the moments. Be happy. Don't waste time in worry.

You will grow soon. You have a lifetime ahead of you. You'll have to find interests to pursue. Like a book club or a debaters club. Then you can try a sport club like table tennis or shuttle badminton, try brazilian jiu jitsu or kickboxing or boxing. Whatever interests you have, now would be the time at your age to explore and pursue them. You will start to make connections. Make good connections through such clubs. You will get a lot of contacts with similar interests. Invest in yourself that way and make friends. There are no perfect people out there. No perfect age to start. You just begin and take it from there. Please make mistakes. Don't shy away from that. But also take personal responsibility.

Set goals to achieve and commit yourself to achieving those goals. Be kind to yourself. Just because everybody does something, does not make it right. You need not aim to drink or party. But you can surely aim to have fun and enjoy yourself in life through joining various clubs like i mentioned and meeting new people your age. Of course it is an investment. But, it's worth it. You will find camaraderie that way and something that inspires you and keeps you occupied and happy. I know this is a difficult time for everyone around the world. You just have to be patient. God knows what you need. He will give you. Pray to Jesus and ask Him what you want and what you need. He will give you. When you feel you're left behind, know that your wait to see the results in your life will not be in vain.

It all depends on what you want out of life. What kind of life you want to have and if and when you marry and what kind of upbringing you want to give your children and good habits that you want to inculcate in them. That is, if you're looking for that. Then the choices you make when you're at a young age will affect your choices in the future too. Always aim to make good and healthy decisions. Find the right kind of friends instead of allowing everyone as your friend. Or allow everyone to be friends with you but choose from those friends who you want as friends.

Be mindful of how your friends treat you. Make sure that they treat you with the same respect you treat them with. If someone treats you in a wrong way, let them know that it's not okay regardless of their relationship with you in a calm but firm way no matter how they take it. Be assertive. Always believe in yourself and be aware of how much you're worth and don't let anyone tell you different. Don't let anyone make you feel negative or that you don't belong, because you do belong in this world. Just stay grounded on your values and beliefs and keep trying from there. Stay calm, stay firm. I know that you won't be able to get the exact context of what I'm trying to say, what I'm trying to say is, don't give up. Never stop trying.

Keep away from anger, hatred or entertaining sad thoughts. I personally prefer to keep my ego in check too. They're all negative thoughts. Doesn't mean we don't go through them. We do. Everyone does. Just be mindful of where your thoughts are. Be positive. Always keep your faith in Jesus. Don't let go of Him no matter what. You'll be fine. God bless

LoneGirl02 · Oct 15, 2020

justahumanbeing said:

My friend, by now you have received so many replies and I went through a lot of those and people here have covered a lot of what should be said and I am sure you would have received a lot of positive input. I just want to add that no matter what your age, you will go through times of loneliness. And then there will be times where there are others who will have your back. And then will come the times where people will back stab you, especially those whom you thought would not. You will feel betrayed. Always be prepared and ready. People will never be perfect and will not be what you expect them to be. That includes family

I've gone through these emotions. I'm 33 now. I'm still something of a loner. Though not when I am in the company of friends. In my case, it's a lot harder. Has always been. I was never encouraged to bring friends home. I wasn't encouraged to have friends. But then, sadly, I have very few true friends. Maybe 1 or 2 if I'm lucky. I know a lot of people. Not many well wishers out there. You may not like your parents now for what they do. But they and your siblings will be the ones who are there for you at many times now and in the future when you need them. It's not gonna be perfect. But, you'll have to make do with what you get. And give while you can. And keep giving them your love. Don't expect in return. Because all this is temporary. Cherish the moments. Be happy. Don't waste time in worry.

You will grow soon. You have a lifetime ahead of you. You'll have to find interests to pursue. Like a book club or a debaters club. Then you can try a sport club like table tennis or shuttle badminton, try brazilian jiu jitsu or kickboxing or boxing. Whatever interests you have, now would be the time at your age to explore and pursue them. You will start to make connections. Make good connections through such clubs. You will get a lot of contacts with similar interests. Invest in yourself that way and make friends. There are no perfect people out there. No perfect age to start. You just begin and take it from there. Please make mistakes. Don't shy away from that. But also take personal responsibility.

Set goals to achieve and commit yourself to achieving those goals. Be kind to yourself. Just because everybody does something, does not make it right. You need not aim to drink or party. But you can surely aim to have fun and enjoy yourself in life through joining various clubs like i mentioned and meeting new people your age. Of course it is an investment. But, it's worth it. You will find camaraderie that way and something that inspires you and keeps you occupied and happy. I know this is a difficult time for everyone around the world. You just have to be patient. God knows what you need. He will give you. Pray to Jesus and ask Him what you want and what you need. He will give you. When you feel you're left behind, know that your wait to see the results in your life will not be in vain.

It all depends on what you want out of life. What kind of life you want to have and if and when you marry and what kind of upbringing you want to give your children and good habits that you want to inculcate in them. That is, if you're looking for that. Then the choices you make when you're at a young age will affect your choices in the future too. Always aim to make good and healthy decisions. Find the right kind of friends instead of allowing everyone as your friend. Or allow everyone to be friends with you but choose from those friends who you want as friends.

Be mindful of how your friends treat you. Make sure that they treat you with the same respect you treat them with. If someone treats you in a wrong way, let them know that it's not okay regardless of their relationship with you in a calm but firm way no matter how they take it. Be assertive. Always believe in yourself and be aware of how much you're worth and don't let anyone tell you different. Don't let anyone make you feel negative or that you don't belong, because you do belong in this world. Just stay grounded on your values and beliefs and keep trying from there. Stay calm, stay firm. I know that you won't be able to get the exact context of what I'm trying to say, what I'm trying to say is, don't give up. Never stop trying.

Keep away from anger, hatred or entertaining sad thoughts. I personally prefer to keep my ego in check too. They're all negative thoughts. Doesn't mean we don't go through them. We do. Everyone does. Just be mindful of where your thoughts are. Be positive. Always keep your faith in Jesus. Don't let go of Him no matter what. You'll be fine. God bless

Wow, I loved this. Every word you said. Thank you so much for your time😊

And to everyone who has responded has given me a lot to think about it. And I've really enjoyed reading through your responses.

Its honestly has changed my perspective on how I see things. I have a lot of personal issues to work on and honestly maybe its worth working on them now before friendships and relationships come in. The most important thing is with the Lord. Which definitely needs working on...

You guys have been so gracious and kind to tell me all this. I appreciate it so much.

God bless you❤

Encouragement · Oct 15, 2020

LoneGirl02 said:

Cool.....this period in you like is temporary and many of us most certainly acknowledge the degree of parental restraint there is and how that within itself is harmful in certain ways.
You are at the age when you are nearing a cross road in ur life regarding what you gonna do ie career..and because of how things are for many young people in general.. its real tough being a Christian and following Gods way when you are constantly surrounded by young peoples in Britain being
1)obsessive about sex,sexualized dress sense (Big bum,competiveness to be all that the list goes on..)
2)rebellion to authority.(teaches,l ect)
3)Music scene and the culture that goes with it.
4)How guys treat females,how females treat other females
5)Taking drugs,parties,
6)Aggressive behaviour..verbally,physically
7)Bullying and mental health issues
8)Gang culture..male/female gangs
9)Social media
10)county lines (selling drugs for guys in
ares far away..)

I support deaf students in colleges for I am a sign language interpreter...and being a Christian isnt eat when you have all of the above seeking to influence you.However God is your protector and there are also lots of wonderful things our there too and many young people are seeking to do what's is right..Christian and non Christian alike.
God ain't done with you yet..in fact this is just the beginning..🙏🏻🙏🏻🤗🤗🤗

Johari · Oct 17, 2020

No you're not alone. When church opens back up if it hasn't already in your area try joining youth groups. I hope your parents allow you to socialize at church. However still be careful even at church.

You're almost 18 so getting a job shouldn't be too hard but I'd recommend going to college if the career you desire requires a degree. Those are 2 places to have more of a social life and possibly make friends. Your parents want to protect you so bad and probably don't realize the sheltering aspect can be debilitating.

3angelsmsg · Oct 17, 2020

Hi LoneGirl02,

I've gone through similar experiences of loneliness. I guess you think you have a need of friends and also of freedom. But you can be perfectly happy even in the circumstances you find yourself in. Like in my case, my desire was always to be in relationship with girl and it consumed all of my life every decision I made, it left me more empty. And I hope that this will not be the case in your situation. And you are still young and if you could recognise it as the voice of God calling you to for deeper relationship. We as human are born with the idea, that I need to be loved, respected, honored and adored. We want to receive love from others and then we are happy. But we don't understand that no person on earth can make us happy. No amount of riches, no amount of girlfriends or boyfriends can make us satisfied. You may think, I need friends or I need a social life. But the truth is that you need to be depended on God for love. Happiness has to do with what you are doing. Happiness doesn't come from what others are doing for you as what we think. Isaiah 48:18 O that thou hadst hearkened to my commandments! Then had thy peace been as a river, and thy righteousness as the waves of the sea. And righteousness in this passage can be translated for happiness. When we are righteous we will be happy people. I have experience it too, thinking other people can make me happy. I have been excluded also because I was religious and that also made it unlikely for me to find friends. And the lesson, I would like you to pass on to you is that take love from God. Learn very early in your life people will disappoint you. Don't look to any person for love even your parents. Let God be your source of inspiration and confidence. Rely on Him for love and strength. We cannot give anything of ourselves to God, because everything belongs to Him anyway. Once we recognise that every thing in life leada to vanity. And God satisfy the needs of all living crratures and opens up His hand to feed us. God is the source for life and happiness. You won't get it anywhere else. Make God your source. And how do you take from God, you pray and ask God to deposit His love in you and you share that love with those around you. And you would have fullfill the law. Nothing can exist by itself and nothing can do anything for itself meaning all of us are living from the love of God, and when we take God love and share it then our happiness will increase. I hope this gave you a new perspective.

presidente · Oct 19, 2020

Lonegirl02,
Two of my children, one a teenage, the other about to turn 13, are learning from home, an option their school offers because of COVID-19. We host a house church, and there are some really little children who join in, but no teens. In their case, they wanted to study at home.

We have thought about putting our kids in a youth group.

Do you parents have any plans to put you in a university? Many universities have some sort of Christian organization. In the meantime, there are lots of online prayer meetings these days. You could meet people online and Skype, Zoom, Teams, Whatsapp or Facebook call them.

presidente · Oct 19, 2020

It may seem like a lot of people are getting drunk and being immoral, but if you have a heart to please the Lord, then you can see the value of living a holy life that pleases God.

I am wondering how your parents will eventually expect you to meet someone if you want to get married. It is good to have a Christian community, a church to interact with. What part of the UK do you live in?

When I was young and looking for a wife, I wanted a girl who wasn't a party girl, someone who didn't drink, who wasn't sexually immoral. There are some men who value certain things taught in scripture who will value that in a potential wife.

presidente · Oct 19, 2020

My son is 18 and didn't go out and party and get drunk. Neither has my 15-year-old. You aren't the only one. I also told the young ones that they couldn't date until they were old enough to get married, or nearly so. It doesn't make sense to do so if dating is for finding someone to marry, not recreation or fornication opportunities.

LoneGirl02 · Oct 20, 2020

presidente said:

Hello! Thanks for your response😊
About your question...my parents aren't so fond of public universities. Due to the fact in how liberal they are. Universities here in England aren't "Christian-based" in a sense. Like in America, you can find plenty of Universities that follow chrisitan principles. My parents prefer me to go to those ones. But, I'm going to be doing online uni called Open Univerisity. Which sucks because i would have loved to be on campus with other students.

LoneGirl02 · Oct 20, 2020

presidente said:

I live in the south-eastern part of England.

And yeah, totally. Sometimes, I wonder how I'm gonna meet someone when I'll be stuck at home, you know...

But I believe there'll be a way...somehow. hopefully, the Churches will open up soon and we'll be able to find one.

LoneGirl02 · Oct 20, 2020

presidente said:

Oh wow, that's awesome! How many kids do you have? I just turned 18 over the weekend😊 and it feels definitely different to be all grown up officially😅

And I absolutely agree with your stance on dating. My parents believe the same thing about it.

LoneGirl02 · Oct 20, 2020

3angelsmsg said:

Hi LoneGirl02,

I've gone through similar experiences of loneliness. I guess you think you have a need of friends and also of freedom. But you can be perfectly happy even in the circumstances you find yourself in. Like in my case, my desire was always to be in relationship with girl and it consumed all of my life every decision I made, it left me more empty. And I hope that this will not be the case in your situation. And you are still young and if you could recognise it as the voice of God calling you to for deeper relationship. We as human are born with the idea, that I need to be loved, respected, honored and adored. We want to receive love from others and then we are happy. But we don't understand that no person on earth can make us happy. No amount of riches, no amount of girlfriends or boyfriends can make us satisfied. You may think, I need friends or I need a social life. But the truth is that you need to be depended on God for love. Happiness has to do with what you are doing. Happiness doesn't come from what others are doing for you as what we think. Isaiah 48:18 O that thou hadst hearkened to my commandments! Then had thy peace been as a river, and thy righteousness as the waves of the sea. And righteousness in this passage can be translated for happiness. When we are righteous we will be happy people. I have experience it too, thinking other people can make me happy. I have been excluded also because I was religious and that also made it unlikely for me to find friends. And the lesson, I would like you to pass on to you is that take love from God. Learn very early in your life people will disappoint you. Don't look to any person for love even your parents. Let God be your source of inspiration and confidence. Rely on Him for love and strength. We cannot give anything of ourselves to God, because everything belongs to Him anyway. Once we recognise that every thing in life leada to vanity. And God satisfy the needs of all living crratures and opens up His hand to feed us. God is the source for life and happiness. You won't get it anywhere else. Make God your source. And how do you take from God, you pray and ask God to deposit His love in you and you share that love with those around you. And you would have fullfill the law. Nothing can exist by itself and nothing can do anything for itself meaning all of us are living from the love of God, and when we take God love and share it then our happiness will increase. I hope this gave you a new perspective.

Hiya! I never got to reply this when I most definitely should. First of all, thank you for this. I related to you alot about the need to have a social life, a boyfriend, friends...such and such. Sometimes, I feel it has become an idol in my heart. Like, nothing will satisfy me until I have actual friends to hang around with like everyone around me...

What you said about making God a source in everything really gave me something to think about...

Thank you so much for sharing.

God bless!❤

presidente · Oct 22, 2020

LoneGirl02 said:

Four children. The oldest is 18.

Magenta · Oct 22, 2020

LoneGirl02 said:

Am I the Only One?

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