Your second paragraph has caught my attention.
In fact it is very personal to me.
I stopped going to church for a long time.
In fact I led a successful youth ministry.
During this period I was newly married, had our first child, studying for my accountancy exams.
I also suffered from severe anxiety and depression.
In the end something had to give and I asked the elders to release me from the youth work.
It took them nine months to release me, and that only happened when a new Elder was told that I had asked nine months earlier and was horrified that it hadn't happened.
He released me.
I then went to lead elder and asked for help, I really needed some spiritual input and discipleship.
He said "No because you are no longer giving out in the church"
Also I was struggling with a severe gambling problem. I was actually gambling at times and realising I was.
The anxiety I feel was a result of a dreadful childhood, ranging from childhood beatings, childhood sex abuse, being thrown out at 14, taken in by a Christian family only to be sexually abused by my so called Christian foster dad.
Went through deliverance ministry that left me worse off. The reason being that heavy stuff started to open up but unfortunately the couple leading me became ill and it stopped. I was left open and raw.
So I stopped going to church, the gambling got worse and the anxiety. The anxiety drove the gambling.
To be honest I felt so hurt, I felt so battered, I felt so useless, a piece of walking crap and that God did not love me unless I complied and proved myself.
All of this was going on while working for the church and after I left church.
One thing is for sure though, I never lost my faith in God, never lost my faith in Jesus. Yes I could not understand why no help seemed forthcoming. I prayed earnestly and believe you me given my anxiety, guilt that I felt it would take me an hour of sitting quietly in order to pluck up the courage to pray, even then it was me agreeing with what I felt about myself.
Just a useless piece of crap who deserved to die.
I even got to the stage after 13 years of waking up every morning at the same time, 2&4 crying and asking God to take my life.
"Kill me now then I know where I am going, but I know you will take care of my family (now with 4 kids)
Do you know what and this is truly truly shocking I CANNOT RECALL ONE PERSON EVER EVER SEEKING ME OUT.
And on the odd occasion I went to church (and when I did from Thursday thru to Sunday when I resolved to go I had nightmares that my wife had to wake me up from) I had stupid people, so called friends who would say "Hello are you new here?
Yes I backslid, I stopped going to church but I NEVER LOST MY FAITH.
Some would say my faith was not real cause I wasn't showing it by works or going to church and so on.
That is why I am so passionate about not writing people off.
I now lead a ministry that's three fold, discipling new Christian's, walking alongside those who want to know more about Christianity and walking with the wounded and hurting.
I get so naffed off when people just write others off. "Oh well they never believed anyway or say can't see any evidence of faith here, obviously not saved"
And when they do that they fall foul of judgment but more importantly "Love each other as I have loved you"
If anyone is interested the following started to help me
John 17:23
23 I am in them and you are in me. May they experience such perfect unity that the world will know that you sent me and that you love them as much as you love me.
I wish someone had told me that, it took God to tell me that when I was laid up with a bad back and he asked me to spend time with him. Mind you he asked me 4 times before I said yes.
Alas us believers have a tendency to shoot the wounded rather than be doctors and nurses.
Sorry for the long post everyone but it is something I am so passionate about and will be till the day when God says, now my son NOW it is time to come home.
Please people, fellow brothers and sisters in our Lord Jesus Christ.
Love each other as Jesus loves us.
Dont write off a person who says they are believer and yet doesn't walk like one or goes MIA, Come alongside, find out what is going on. If they genuinely believe and know you love them and will not condemn them, they will open up.