A question for the older members...how is love found at an older age (40 or 45 plus) different from young love (teens, 20s, and 30s)?
Young love versus "old" love
- Thread starter MsMediator
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Do older people who fall in love feel the same level of intensity, etc. as younger couples? Younger people seem to go into relationships without much thought, but I feel older people analyze their potential partner more (I am sure partially because of past experiences).
You consider that old? I must be ancient then lol. Always put God first no matter any age. If you are equally yoked that is a biggie . Oh and must be able to kiss them in the light, js, lol!
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40 is definately not old and I'll be there in a few years. But I think people in ther 40s approach love more like an older person than a younger person.
The first 40 years of marriage are the hardest, then it gets tougher. Nothing prepares you for the struggles you will face. Put God first, your spouse next and yourself last.
In the UK, when a child reached 15, about half of them are not with both their biological parents.
In the UK, when a child reached 15, about half of them are not with both their biological parents.
There's more than one correct answer to your question because it really has to do with the individual.
That said, seeing how you're asking this question on a Christian forum, I would hope that everyone's capacity to truly love someone else is continually increasing as they're hopefully being conformed more and more to the image of him who is love personified.
Is that always the case?
More than likely not, but it should be.
I have not thought there is an age limit on love. Or that it is even timebound. Do you stop loving once you reach a certain age?
God is ancient, yet He still loves.
God is ancient, yet He still loves.
Hold on I think the OP talking about something else
I just think of love as how Corinthians describes what love is.
Young or old people recognise THIS love is true love, though I think children respond more to love than those too proud to accept love. Also, I think older people tend to keep records of wrongs, until they get dementia and forget everything.
some people view love is a way to control, but love is never controlling, which is why marrying someone doesnt necessarily mean you love them. (love me or else) You cant MAKE someone love you. They have to want to out of their own free will.
I just think of love as how Corinthians describes what love is.
Young or old people recognise THIS love is true love, though I think children respond more to love than those too proud to accept love. Also, I think older people tend to keep records of wrongs, until they get dementia and forget everything.
some people view love is a way to control, but love is never controlling, which is why marrying someone doesnt necessarily mean you love them. (love me or else) You cant MAKE someone love you. They have to want to out of their own free will.
Rather one should rise to greet love
I looked up the limbic system; wiki had this to say:
The limbic system, also known as the paleomammalian cortex, is a set of brain structures located on both
sides of the thalamus, immediately beneath the medial temporal lobe of the cerebrum primarily in the forebrain.
It supports a variety of functions including emotion, behavior, long-term memory, and olfaction.
Emotional life is largely housed in the limbic system, and it critically aids the formation of memories.
With a primordial structure, the limbic system is involved in lower order emotional processing of input
from sensory systems and consists of the amygdaloid nuclear complex (amygdala), mammillary bodies,
stria medullaris, central gray and dorsal and ventral nuclei of Gudden. This processed information is often
relayed to a collection of structures from the telencephalon, diencephalon, and mesencephalon, including
the prefrontal cortex, cingulate gyrus, limbic thalamus, hippocampus including the parahippocampal gyrus
and subiculum, nucleus accumbens (limbic striatum), anterior hypothalamus, ventral tegmental area, midbrain
raphe nuclei, habenular commissure, entorhinal cortex, and olfactory bulbs.
That's above my pay grade
I do like what Kahlil Gibran had to say "On Love" 
When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself
He threshes you to make your naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God’s sacred feast.
All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart,
and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life’s heart.
But if in your heart you would seek only love’s peace and love’s pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love’s threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.
When you love you should not say, “God is in my heart,” but rather, “I am in the heart of God.”
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.
From The Prophet (Knopf, 1923). This poem is in the public domain.
When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself
He threshes you to make your naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God’s sacred feast.
All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart,
and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life’s heart.
But if in your heart you would seek only love’s peace and love’s pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love’s threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.
When you love you should not say, “God is in my heart,” but rather, “I am in the heart of God.”
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.
From The Prophet (Knopf, 1923). This poem is in the public domain.
At the present moment, I like what the J. Geils Band had to say about love:
Love stinks.
Oh, wait.
Never mind.
That wasn't love that I was smelling...
(The bear hangs his head in shame as he's not only confronted with the reality that bears truly do
in the woods, but also sometimes very close to their favorite tree)
Make it "Jesus of Nazareth", and I'm in.I'd be more inclined to go with Nazareth on this one
I've thought about this a lot since I've been in my later fifties...
Young love for me in my teens and twenties...
Was not really love so much as it was a desire to be intimate as soon as possible. That was just how I was.
In these later years, I would look for something beyond being intimate because anyone can do intimate. Do you have something yall enjoy doing together that is not sex? .. Cooking, housework, yardwork, travel, etc... Can you have conversations?.. Not just bible conversation, but talk in general...
Can you respect each other's need for privacy?.. Cause sometimes, you need space... Are you on the same page financially?.. Cause this one will cause multiple problems if you're not!
I guess I'm saying the later years are more about maturity. I'm not saying there isn't any maturity in younger people, but I think it's just more defined, or maybe refined is a better word.
Hope that's an answer.
The only difference I can tell is when I was young I had no experience at all and got hurt a few times. I was a boy crazy teenager and actually got married the first time at 17 bought my first house with my husband when we were 18 and 19 so took on a lot of responsibility really early in life.
Got divorced at 24 as in those 6 years we grew up and grew apart.
Got married the second time at 59 had more experience by then and went with my head more than letting my heart lead on the second go around which is why there was a 35 year gap between marriages. Will be celebrating our 8th anniversary in November and the difference between the two marriages of young and old is the knowledge I gained in the gap years realizing that I needed to be a better person and taking my time to decide what I wanted if I ever got married again, but then by 59 I had given up hope of ever getting married again and was o.k. with it but God had a different plan for me and I have a much better marriage the second go round being older than I did when I was younger.
I'm sure the love works both ways young or old but for me the older version has been the better one.
Got divorced at 24 as in those 6 years we grew up and grew apart.
Got married the second time at 59 had more experience by then and went with my head more than letting my heart lead on the second go around which is why there was a 35 year gap between marriages. Will be celebrating our 8th anniversary in November and the difference between the two marriages of young and old is the knowledge I gained in the gap years realizing that I needed to be a better person and taking my time to decide what I wanted if I ever got married again, but then by 59 I had given up hope of ever getting married again and was o.k. with it but God had a different plan for me and I have a much better marriage the second go round being older than I did when I was younger.
I'm sure the love works both ways young or old but for me the older version has been the better one.
The primary application here is ," lower order emotional processing of input."Rather one should rise to greet love
I looked up the limbic system; wiki had this to say:
The limbic system, also known as the paleomammalian cortex, is a set of brain structures located on both
sides of the thalamus, immediately beneath the medial temporal lobe of the cerebrum primarily in the forebrain.
It supports a variety of functions including emotion, behavior, long-term memory, and olfaction.
Emotional life is largely housed in the limbic system, and it critically aids the formation of memories.
With a primordial structure, the limbic system is involved in lower order emotional processing of input
from sensory systems and consists of the amygdaloid nuclear complex (amygdala), mammillary bodies,
stria medullaris, central gray and dorsal and ventral nuclei of Gudden. This processed information is often
relayed to a collection of structures from the telencephalon, diencephalon, and mesencephalon, including
the prefrontal cortex, cingulate gyrus, limbic thalamus, hippocampus including the parahippocampal gyrus
and subiculum, nucleus accumbens (limbic striatum), anterior hypothalamus, ventral tegmental area, midbrain
raphe nuclei, habenular commissure, entorhinal cortex, and olfactory bulbs.
That's above my pay grade
How emotionally high folks get when they are canoodling.
Regardless of age, giving your all would seem to be a prerequisite.
It actually reminds me of how God describes our need to search for Him with all our heart in order for us to "find Him."
" ... though He is not far from any one of us."
It actually reminds me of how God describes our need to search for Him with all our heart in order for us to "find Him."
" ... though He is not far from any one of us."