I would think it’s fairly straightforward, up until this point of my life I didn’t want anything to do with god or Christ. I believe I spent most of my life actively defying god… so tell me can I really be saved?
Yes, you are closer than most.
The first thing we all need to know is that we are lost in our sins and placing our hope of salvation in the wrong place.
The first part of this verse explains what we have earned from sins.
23For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Romans 6
It's our experience that we didn't drop over dead when we committed our first sin. If that happened when I lied as an adult, I wouldn't be talking with you now. However, there was a part of us that died when that happened. It was our spirit, the part that communicates with God and can live forever.
This is a description of what happens. It gives a shorter list representative of all sins.
8But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
Revelation 21
Please notice that amongst the real bad murderers, abominable and idolators there are fearful, unbelievers, and ending the list are liars. We probably haven't murdered or done a lot of the abominations in the Word of God. There are plenty of times that I have been unbelieving the promises of God, fearful of the wrong things and have lied out of shame, guilt and things only God could remember. That is a humbling fact isn't it? According to the Bible, we are in need of saving from that awful fate....the second death. The first death occurs in body and the second is the Lake.
I think you already know that, so I'll try to make this real easy as someone did for me one day.
We've all heard euphemisms that are men's opinions. In my former Catholic church I was raised in, we were taught to keep the sacraments to be saved, while some protestants had their abbreviated versions of the same concept. The TV preachers would have half a dozen works of righteousness like, "give your life to Christ", "promise to serve Him all the days of your life", "ask Jesus into your life/heart", "quit walking towards sin and turn from your sins" which is the latest version of keeping the law. See Galatians chapters 1-3 for more on that.
Those are ALL Good Works.
The Bible even has commandments to do good works, like do not bear false witness against your neighbor and hundreds of others.
However, here's the key. Think about this. God has lots of expectations for His family. God had expectations/commands for the people of Moses and the tribes of Israel. Those were not, NOT requirements for salvation from Hell. Those who teach that have a false gospel. Gospel means Good News. The good news is that perfection to keeping the hundreds of commands or euphemisms for men's requirements are null and void. The Bible tells us clearly that it's "5Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us..."
Titus 3
Check this out and ask God if this is true.
8For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: 9Not of works, lest any man should boast.
Ephesians 2
Grace is what God gives that we do not deserve or earn. I think you already said that before. It is true. We don't deserve salvation at all. What DO WE deserve?
A: Hell.
Now is works..... Don't save. That list above and everything else we ourselves could do don't amount to anything worthwhile in God's view. All the sins men turn from and give up in their flesh are things they boast about.
Salvation is a Gift from God.
The GOOD NEWS is that the Father so loved the world that HE GAVE His only begotten Son, that whosoever BELIEVES on HIM should not perish but have everlasting Life.
Here's what the Bible says is truly receiving Jesus as Savior. John 1
12But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that BELIEVE on his name:
The word believe was given to us exactly
The one requirement God has of us is to quit trusting in our good works and instead place your trust (faith/believe in) Jesus Christ our Savior. After all, He's the Savior because He gave His life to pay for ALL of our sins past throughout the future. He purchased the special Gift. We can't pay for even one sin.
Let's take care of this right now.
I will make it very simple by leading you in prayer to the Lord.
Dear Jesus,
I understand now that I don't deserve everlasting life. I only deserve Hell, but I want to be saved.
Please save me according to Your promises.
You alone suffered the torture and crucifixion for all of my sins past and future . You were buried in the tomb and arose the third day.
I ask for the gift of everlasting life that You alone paid for.
Thank you Lord Jesus for sharing this precious gift with me now and forever.
Amen.
11And this is the record, that God hath given to us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. 12He that hath the Son hath life; and he that hath not the Son of God hath not life. 13These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God.
I John 5
According to the Bible where will you go when you die some day?