Would you date/marry someone from a different generation than you?
- Thread starter Noel25
- Start date
-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
This must be the new math that is taught in schools. 
I have no idea where it comes from but she is usually correct. I keep telling her that former wife and girlfriends all disagree with her about me being a "keeper" but she says they were stupid and doesn't know why I was ever with them.
-
1
- Show all
Did you have any fear she'd drop you when you got older?
It's a very worldly concern, in the sense that 'real christians' wouldn't drop someone when they got too old. But who hasn't been surprised by someone? I'd assume in crossed your mind at some point early on. How'd you work through that issue?
It's a very worldly concern, in the sense that 'real christians' wouldn't drop someone when they got too old. But who hasn't been surprised by someone? I'd assume in crossed your mind at some point early on. How'd you work through that issue?
-
1
- Show all
Marry your child? Doesn't always work and sometimes the younger one dies before the older one does.
As maintained before you should only date your birthday twin, and then you can celebrate your birthdays together.
Also when it comes to retirement, the older ones got their feet up while the younger ones still doing all the work. Doesn't seem fair, but I guess that's what they sign up for.
As maintained before you should only date your birthday twin, and then you can celebrate your birthdays together.
Also when it comes to retirement, the older ones got their feet up while the younger ones still doing all the work. Doesn't seem fair, but I guess that's what they sign up for.
If a husband is much older he should be fine with his wife doing things on her own/with friends, etc. I have a coworker who is very active in terms of travel, tennis club, etc and her husband in his 80s is fine with her doing stuff on her own/with friends. He is also not in the best of health, has COPD. However, some husbands would make the wife feel guilty. She is also his caretaker but he is fine with her doing her own stuff.
This used to be a major concern for most women, that the husband would trade her in for a third-world (or blond) beauty queen wife once she got too old. I don't think the concern is as great anymore since many women can support themselves, and there are also things like child support if there are kids. If someone wants to leave the marriage, not much one can do.
It just occurred to me that the best relationship I've been in was with someone twice my age minus 7 (or half his age plus 7). So maybe there is something to that for some of us! On the other hand, my closest female friend has always been drawn to guys in a younger generation (none have worked out yet though).
Ummmmm
We really haven't. Don't really need to.
Christian men sincere in their faith are not quite unicorn status of endangered species...but almost.
Then I'm somewhat "handy" in that I know how to do stuff a handyman would charge thousands for. At Christmas our sewer pipe finally collapsed and I dug and put in a new one made of pvc and up to latest codes and working practice guidelines. Not to mention that I'm a retired construction electrician who excelled in motor controls....and in this rural area I live in electricians are in very short supply. (She loans me out)
And I'm also a recovering 4star chef....meaning I cook vastly better than most others in a wide variety of foods she had never heard of but now has champagne tastes but a beer budget.
She would never find another like me. But she loves me for me and not just the things I can do. We have long and involved conversations constantly even after being married all this time. We have community involvement and work together on ministry projects all the time.
Worry about a replacement? Nope!
We really haven't. Don't really need to.
Christian men sincere in their faith are not quite unicorn status of endangered species...but almost.
Then I'm somewhat "handy" in that I know how to do stuff a handyman would charge thousands for. At Christmas our sewer pipe finally collapsed and I dug and put in a new one made of pvc and up to latest codes and working practice guidelines. Not to mention that I'm a retired construction electrician who excelled in motor controls....and in this rural area I live in electricians are in very short supply. (She loans me out)
And I'm also a recovering 4star chef....meaning I cook vastly better than most others in a wide variety of foods she had never heard of but now has champagne tastes but a beer budget.
She would never find another like me. But she loves me for me and not just the things I can do. We have long and involved conversations constantly even after being married all this time. We have community involvement and work together on ministry projects all the time.
Worry about a replacement? Nope!
-
1
-
1
-
1
- Show all
This highlights something I pray about often as a single woman who has spent many years in the dating community.
Whether secular or not, it's very evident that even Christian men, and even the most devout of Christian men, are mainly/only interested in younger women. I started out in the dating scene as part of the "acceptable" age range, but shot past 30 a long time ago!
If you are a woman over 35 and God forbid, 40, you can pretty much count yourself as being a castaway at the bottom of the bargain bin at Walmart. Even men in their 70's through 90's are looking for 30-year-olds, and if they can get a 25-year-old, all the better. I've seen this repeatedly on the Christian dating sites as well. They're certainly not looking to have kids (we would hope,) so they obviously have other interests.
Now of course, I also understand men's frustrations with women going after men with money (but it's ironic, because many women under 30 aren't financially established yet either.)
But I once read a quote from an older woman who'd also been in the dating scene a while and said, "Honey, after a certain age, men are looking for a nurse, or a purse -- or both."
So that's the question that's always on my mind. If even the most Christian of older Christian men don't want older Christian women, what does God want for them? I'm not sure, as I'm navigating that in my own life. I'd like to think that older women are valuable to SOMEONE, and if not to Christian men who don't have any interest in marrying women after a certain age, what is their worth to God?
One thing I CAN say is that ladies, if you want to find yourself a younger man, take up personal finance as an interest and then go and join personal finance chat groups. If you are working on financial independence and can hold your own in a conversation about stocks, REIT'S, BDC's, calls, and puts, (and I consider myself to be just a moderate beginner,) you'll have a roomful of guys talking about wanting to marry you or ask you to adopt them. And I've never even posted a picture! (And never will.)
I never joined these groups looking for this kind of reaction and just politely decline any "offers" (lol.) I have to admit, it's rather amusing, but I brush off the comments and continue on my quest for better financial stewardship.
Whether secular or not, it's very evident that even Christian men, and even the most devout of Christian men, are mainly/only interested in younger women. I started out in the dating scene as part of the "acceptable" age range, but shot past 30 a long time ago!
If you are a woman over 35 and God forbid, 40, you can pretty much count yourself as being a castaway at the bottom of the bargain bin at Walmart. Even men in their 70's through 90's are looking for 30-year-olds, and if they can get a 25-year-old, all the better. I've seen this repeatedly on the Christian dating sites as well. They're certainly not looking to have kids (we would hope,) so they obviously have other interests.
Now of course, I also understand men's frustrations with women going after men with money (but it's ironic, because many women under 30 aren't financially established yet either.)
But I once read a quote from an older woman who'd also been in the dating scene a while and said, "Honey, after a certain age, men are looking for a nurse, or a purse -- or both."
So that's the question that's always on my mind. If even the most Christian of older Christian men don't want older Christian women, what does God want for them? I'm not sure, as I'm navigating that in my own life. I'd like to think that older women are valuable to SOMEONE, and if not to Christian men who don't have any interest in marrying women after a certain age, what is their worth to God?
One thing I CAN say is that ladies, if you want to find yourself a younger man, take up personal finance as an interest and then go and join personal finance chat groups. If you are working on financial independence and can hold your own in a conversation about stocks, REIT'S, BDC's, calls, and puts, (and I consider myself to be just a moderate beginner,) you'll have a roomful of guys talking about wanting to marry you or ask you to adopt them. And I've never even posted a picture! (And never will.)
I never joined these groups looking for this kind of reaction and just politely decline any "offers" (lol.) I have to admit, it's rather amusing, but I brush off the comments and continue on my quest for better financial stewardship.
-
1
- Show all
lets break this down with honesty. 1. it is not a sin or bad if a man wants a younger woman. 2. i live in America & America, for many decades, is the leader of people who don't exercise, are out of shape, eat very bad food, are lazy, etc. 3. men also have thoughts on someone to take care of them when they are elderly. a young woman suits that perfectly; cleaning house, groceries, general errands. 4. we all understand it's easier to gain weight & be out of shape when old. however, if they started early in life being in shape, the condition response would remain in their brain to continue to be in shape & desire to be in shape. 5. so for women, it is very important to look good & that's by God's design in the dating department, not man's. besides, women should always want to look beautiful. ask any psychiatrist or psychologist; it is a known fact women who are gorgeous feel much better about themselves. indeed, we men go for looks & women know that. so as a young woman wants to look proper for a date when she's young, do the same when older.
-
1
- Show all
Let's break this down with even further honesty:
1. People age. Elizabeth Taylor was easily considered one of the most beautiful women of all time, with access to all of the best beauty treatments and care available. But all the money and doctors in the world couldn't stop her from aging. I agree that people can work on taking better care of themselves, but at the end of the day, the loss of physical beauty is just going to happen.
2. People's medical and life condition changes, and it's an impossible standard for women to remain "gorgeous" at all times. The woman who has cancer isn't thinking, "How can I be at my most gorgeous to appeal to men 24/7."
If I wanted to look my absolute best, it would probably take me 2 hours (my hair is very finicky and not easy to style to glam standards.) There's no way I'm using up that kind of time every day. Any guy who accepts me would hopefully understand I have other more pressing obligations.
3. People often want standards in others they don't qualify for themselves. Women want men who can provide -- but how much of an expectation are they allowed to have? Should a woman be expected to pitch in and help? Men want women who look like supermodels -- as they balance their beer on their gut, which is sticking so far out that it doubles as a shelf. But by golly, God's will is for them to have a young, beautiful wife!
One of the reasons I'm single is because I do try hard at diet and fitness, and am not interested in men who want a "thin, beautiful, fit woman" but look 9 1/2 months pregnant themselves. I'd reconsider if it wasn't for the hypocritical expectations.
4. Beauty does not always equal happiness or self-esteem. I always wonder about Sarah. Even at an advanced age, powerful men desired her -- so much so that Abraham was willing to hand her over to abusers more than once to save his own neck. I often wonder if Sarah thought her beauty was a blessing or a curse.
And there are many modern day Sarah's. I once knew a woman who has always been beautiful, and, as this can be the case with many beautiful people, she was unfortunately noticed by the wrong people throughout her live, starting as a child. Her abusers included a pastor, a policeman, and school coaches.
Later on, she won a local beauty pageant -- sweeping every category, which had never been done before -- but she did it because she felt led by God to do so, and used her platform to speak publicly to men in powerful positions against all forms of sexual abuse. She told stories of watching them shift uncomfortably in their seats throughout her presentations.
5. The Bible says that Leah had "weak eyes." For whatever reason, Leah was not seen as beautiful, but Rachel was. Would God then pat Jacob on the back for not loving Leah? I know he was tricked into marrying her, so that's not a fair comparison.
But does this mean that this is God's verdict? Leah's example shows us that for whatever reason, there are believers in Christ who will not be seen as beautiful. Does this mean God has ordained for them to be overlooked and cast aside for those who are? Perhaps part of God's answer came in the form of Leah bearing so many sons, which was so highly prized in that day.
6. Christians all stand on the verdict that "God wants whats best for them," and so they believe God's best is their definition of what's "best" is surely what God has for them. I've seen several dating profiles of women who believe God wants them to have a 6-figure husband... or men proclaiming that by God's insistence, they must have a hot wife who will never change and stay eternally young and beautiful.
But is this what God will say when we get to heaven? That we all had a God-given right to what we ourselves deemed as the best God should be giving us?
7. You wrote above, "Men also have thoughts on someone to take care of them when they are elderly, a young woman suits that perfectly: cleaning house, groceries, general errands."
Do you not think older women wouldn't need the same things? Who do you expect to take care of them? Or do men also feel it's not their worry or concern, because the priority is to have their own needs met? (And I understand that some women can be just as selfish.)
THIS is the question I bring before God, and these days, on a near-daily basis: Lord, is THIS what you planned for humanity? Young women being caretakers to elderly men, then when these men die, the women are left to fend for themselves? If a woman can no longer serve an older man's needs or purpose (even if it's just because she's not young,) do they just age out, and become useless except as free volunteers in other parts of society?
Who then takes care of the older woman when she needs someone to run errands, clean, and buy groceries?
Is this who your view of God is?
A God who believes in creating young women that are perfect for older men because they can take care of them and look good for them... but as they get older... They no longer have any purpose or reason to be desired, even though they have the same needs as the men?
I know I'm going on a long ramble here, but I find the subject intriguing. If women were designed to be the "fairer" sex -- creatures to be protected and to some extent, looked after by men -- at what point did God say the tables should turn and young women should look after elderly men, with no plan as to what will happen when he dies and leaves the now older woman to fend for herself?
1. People age. Elizabeth Taylor was easily considered one of the most beautiful women of all time, with access to all of the best beauty treatments and care available. But all the money and doctors in the world couldn't stop her from aging. I agree that people can work on taking better care of themselves, but at the end of the day, the loss of physical beauty is just going to happen.
2. People's medical and life condition changes, and it's an impossible standard for women to remain "gorgeous" at all times. The woman who has cancer isn't thinking, "How can I be at my most gorgeous to appeal to men 24/7."
If I wanted to look my absolute best, it would probably take me 2 hours (my hair is very finicky and not easy to style to glam standards.) There's no way I'm using up that kind of time every day. Any guy who accepts me would hopefully understand I have other more pressing obligations.
3. People often want standards in others they don't qualify for themselves. Women want men who can provide -- but how much of an expectation are they allowed to have? Should a woman be expected to pitch in and help? Men want women who look like supermodels -- as they balance their beer on their gut, which is sticking so far out that it doubles as a shelf. But by golly, God's will is for them to have a young, beautiful wife!
One of the reasons I'm single is because I do try hard at diet and fitness, and am not interested in men who want a "thin, beautiful, fit woman" but look 9 1/2 months pregnant themselves. I'd reconsider if it wasn't for the hypocritical expectations.
4. Beauty does not always equal happiness or self-esteem. I always wonder about Sarah. Even at an advanced age, powerful men desired her -- so much so that Abraham was willing to hand her over to abusers more than once to save his own neck. I often wonder if Sarah thought her beauty was a blessing or a curse.
And there are many modern day Sarah's. I once knew a woman who has always been beautiful, and, as this can be the case with many beautiful people, she was unfortunately noticed by the wrong people throughout her live, starting as a child. Her abusers included a pastor, a policeman, and school coaches.
Later on, she won a local beauty pageant -- sweeping every category, which had never been done before -- but she did it because she felt led by God to do so, and used her platform to speak publicly to men in powerful positions against all forms of sexual abuse. She told stories of watching them shift uncomfortably in their seats throughout her presentations.
5. The Bible says that Leah had "weak eyes." For whatever reason, Leah was not seen as beautiful, but Rachel was. Would God then pat Jacob on the back for not loving Leah? I know he was tricked into marrying her, so that's not a fair comparison.
But does this mean that this is God's verdict? Leah's example shows us that for whatever reason, there are believers in Christ who will not be seen as beautiful. Does this mean God has ordained for them to be overlooked and cast aside for those who are? Perhaps part of God's answer came in the form of Leah bearing so many sons, which was so highly prized in that day.
6. Christians all stand on the verdict that "God wants whats best for them," and so they believe God's best is their definition of what's "best" is surely what God has for them. I've seen several dating profiles of women who believe God wants them to have a 6-figure husband... or men proclaiming that by God's insistence, they must have a hot wife who will never change and stay eternally young and beautiful.
But is this what God will say when we get to heaven? That we all had a God-given right to what we ourselves deemed as the best God should be giving us?
7. You wrote above, "Men also have thoughts on someone to take care of them when they are elderly, a young woman suits that perfectly: cleaning house, groceries, general errands."
Do you not think older women wouldn't need the same things? Who do you expect to take care of them? Or do men also feel it's not their worry or concern, because the priority is to have their own needs met? (And I understand that some women can be just as selfish.)
THIS is the question I bring before God, and these days, on a near-daily basis: Lord, is THIS what you planned for humanity? Young women being caretakers to elderly men, then when these men die, the women are left to fend for themselves? If a woman can no longer serve an older man's needs or purpose (even if it's just because she's not young,) do they just age out, and become useless except as free volunteers in other parts of society?
Who then takes care of the older woman when she needs someone to run errands, clean, and buy groceries?
Is this who your view of God is?
A God who believes in creating young women that are perfect for older men because they can take care of them and look good for them... but as they get older... They no longer have any purpose or reason to be desired, even though they have the same needs as the men?
I know I'm going on a long ramble here, but I find the subject intriguing. If women were designed to be the "fairer" sex -- creatures to be protected and to some extent, looked after by men -- at what point did God say the tables should turn and young women should look after elderly men, with no plan as to what will happen when he dies and leaves the now older woman to fend for herself?
-
2
-
1
-
1
- Show all