Dear bondservant, I was very touched by your post, in particular by what you wrote about missing your best friend, about the small things that remind you of her and about your grief. I am not personally in your situation and the situation when my parents both went home some years ago is probably not camparable. However, I am continuously in contact with a man and a woman who have each lost their spouses recently. I think I can imagine how you feel when, after all these years, you wake up alone in the morning, when you see all these things that she decorated your house with, when you have breakfast or dinner alone. Let me tell you that I am feeling with you as I am writing these lines. I deeply believe that God rejoices when you rejoice and that he suffers with you when you suffer. You think that grief seems to be a selfish thing? I am sure that your grief is not selfish. „Blessed are they who mourn, for they will be comforted.“ Give yourself a little time!
In the next days, when it‘s afternoon and you feel alone, you can be sure that there is somebody far away in Germany thinking about you and including you in his evening Prayer.
May the blessing of almighty God, the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit, come down on you and remain with you for ever.