Why Has It Become So Dangerous to Share Personal Information?

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,437
5,383
113
#1
Hey Everyone,

Something I have been pondering for a while is the way our culture has shifted so much as far as giving out any personal or contact information about ourselves.

I had a relative who was born in the 1800's, and back then, the primary source of communication was writing letters. When she died, among her possessions were boxes and boxes of postcards and letters she had exchanged with during her lifetime, and it had been with a vast number of people. Back then, giving people your exact location -- your home address -- was apparently not only socially acceptable, but really the only way to keep in touch, because this was a time before telephones were used in homes.

When I was growing up (before the internet,) I used to subscribe to (actual print) magazines in which you could fill out a short form with your name, address, age, and interests; mail it in, and then receive someone else's form that they had filled out (with their own handwriting) with whom you could start exchanging letters with.

What's that?! Complete strangers, meeting solely through written words, sent directly to each other's address?!! Preposterous, I know!!! And there was no way to Google anyone in those days or look them up to see if they had a criminal record -- you had to trust that these people were giving out their real names, addresses, and info about themselves.

What's even crazier is that over the years, one of my pen pals came from across the USA to visit my family (and then I went to see her - twice,) and another pen pal from Japan, along with her best friend, came to visit for a week. And we set the whole trip up with paper letters -- not a single phone call because of the enormous cost of overseas calls -- with our letters taking about 2 weeks to get to each other from each side.

And as I was growing up, once a year, you'd walk out your front door to find a Yellow Pages phone book chucked onto your driveway. This hefty, gargantuan book contained the names, numbers, and home addresses of everyone in that city and/or county. I'm not sure when the option came along to choose to be unlisted, but from what I could tell, you could find pretty much anyone you were looking for in that area -- and all the information was literally delivered right to your door.

I have relatives who used to live in a large senior community -- over a hundred thousand people -- and even in these modern times, they still print a regular old-fashioned phone book that is delivered to everyone's doorstep, just like when I was back home.

Now I'm certainly not advocating that anyone let down their guard and give out their information willy-nilly. Not at all. In fact, I have friends who made up aliases online to protect their identities, and I think they've been pretty smart about it. They're not out deceiving or cat fishing anyone -- they're just very cautious and can maintain control over who they allow to know more about them.

But what happened for things to become this way? How did we go from having our names, address, and phone numbers put together in a free book (that was conveniently updated every year) for everyone to see, to now having this modern day feeling that we don't really want anyone to know anything about us?

I would really like to know people's thoughts and stories as to how this transition took place.

* Is it because of the internet, and the fact that almost anything about you can be discovered online?

* Is it mostly because the online world has made hacking, identity theft, and scamming so much easier and widespread?

* Have we just become innately more private in a world that seems to want more and more of our personal information, and more often?

* Is it because the world has just become so much more dangerous than "back then," requiring more drastic measures of protecting ourselves?

* Is it because our methods of communication have changed, allowing us to stay as anonymous as we want?

I still have a few postcards from my older relative's former stash. I think they're an intriguing and long-lost part of history, especially when it comes to communication. And it makes me wonder if people felt any more of a connection then, or if they felt less lonely when they were writing to and receiving letters from others in their own handwriting -- an actual tangible thing to hold on to -- and it was sent to their actual addresses.

What do you think has led to this societal shift of everyone locking up and building up their own Fort Knox (an infamous place in the USA) to protect who they are, how to contact them, and where they live?

P.S. Once again, I am NOT in any way saying we shouldn't protect our information -- I'm just wondering what people think are the main catalysts are that has led to it being this way.

Everyone is welcome to answer, but I am especially interested in this topic as part of the single community and how we learn to navigate the crazy world of dating while doing so in a safe manner.
 
Mar 11, 2023
40
26
8
#2
I think identity theft and fraud are the biggest fears for most people. Myself, 99.9% of my financial transactions are digital - and a lot of that is connected to my mobile number and/or email address. It seems, for me, it’s about data/financial risk. Let alone imposters smearing your name online (Fakebook, Instascam, etc). I have no issues handing out my Telegram user name because my mobile number is masked, I don’t use my last name, etc. Just my 2¢.
 

MsMediator

Well-known member
Mar 8, 2022
1,083
725
113
#3
It is most because of the internet, it is hard to know who is behind the screen.

A couple of years ago during the pandemic we had to provide our home addresses at work so we could receive some work equipment via mail, and the manager decided the easiest/most efficient way is to provide this information through a shared spreadseet. So I knew where my office of 20 lived and their house prices. I didn't feel too comfortable putting my information on a shared list but everyone participated and it was no big deal.

It just feels a bit like an invasion of privacy if someone knows my address unless it is a friend.
 

Karlon

Well-known member
Mar 8, 2023
2,549
1,144
113
#4
Hosea 4:6 My people are destroyed for a lack of knowledge because thou hast rejected knowledge....... meaning rejecting God's word is a way of his word unheard. look at F.B. alone. they increasingly are getting to you. the government has better high tech methods. businesses also infiltrate. the drones are says also. there's nearly no privacy. that's why people are so protective. the evil is growing. now we are in the "evil will be called good and good will be called evil" age!
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
4,056
3,170
113
#5
Hey Everyone,

Something I have been pondering for a while is the way our culture has shifted so much as far as giving out any personal or contact information about ourselves.

I had a relative who was born in the 1800's, and back then, the primary source of communication was writing letters. When she died, among her possessions were boxes and boxes of postcards and letters she had exchanged with during her lifetime, and it had been with a vast number of people. Back then, giving people your exact location -- your home address -- was apparently not only socially acceptable, but really the only way to keep in touch, because this was a time before telephones were used in homes.

When I was growing up (before the internet,) I used to subscribe to (actual print) magazines in which you could fill out a short form with your name, address, age, and interests; mail it in, and then receive someone else's form that they had filled out (with their own handwriting) with whom you could start exchanging letters with.

What's that?! Complete strangers, meeting solely through written words, sent directly to each other's address?!! Preposterous, I know!!! And there was no way to Google anyone in those days or look them up to see if they had a criminal record -- you had to trust that these people were giving out their real names, addresses, and info about themselves.

What's even crazier is that over the years, one of my pen pals came from across the USA to visit my family (and then I went to see her - twice,) and another pen pal from Japan, along with her best friend, came to visit for a week. And we set the whole trip up with paper letters -- not a single phone call because of the enormous cost of overseas calls -- with our letters taking about 2 weeks to get to each other from each side.

And as I was growing up, once a year, you'd walk out your front door to find a Yellow Pages phone book chucked onto your driveway. This hefty, gargantuan book contained the names, numbers, and home addresses of everyone in that city and/or county. I'm not sure when the option came along to choose to be unlisted, but from what I could tell, you could find pretty much anyone you were looking for in that area -- and all the information was literally delivered right to your door.

I have relatives who used to live in a large senior community -- over a hundred thousand people -- and even in these modern times, they still print a regular old-fashioned phone book that is delivered to everyone's doorstep, just like when I was back home.

Now I'm certainly not advocating that anyone let down their guard and give out their information willy-nilly. Not at all. In fact, I have friends who made up aliases online to protect their identities, and I think they've been pretty smart about it. They're not out deceiving or cat fishing anyone -- they're just very cautious and can maintain control over who they allow to know more about them.

But what happened for things to become this way? How did we go from having our names, address, and phone numbers put together in a free book (that was conveniently updated every year) for everyone to see, to now having this modern day feeling that we don't really want anyone to know anything about us?

I would really like to know people's thoughts and stories as to how this transition took place.

* Is it because of the internet, and the fact that almost anything about you can be discovered online?

* Is it mostly because the online world has made hacking, identity theft, and scamming so much easier and widespread?

* Have we just become innately more private in a world that seems to want more and more of our personal information, and more often?

* Is it because the world has just become so much more dangerous than "back then," requiring more drastic measures of protecting ourselves?

* Is it because our methods of communication have changed, allowing us to stay as anonymous as we want?

I still have a few postcards from my older relative's former stash. I think they're an intriguing and long-lost part of history, especially when it comes to communication. And it makes me wonder if people felt any more of a connection then, or if they felt less lonely when they were writing to and receiving letters from others in their own handwriting -- an actual tangible thing to hold on to -- and it was sent to their actual addresses.

What do you think has led to this societal shift of everyone locking up and building up their own Fort Knox (an infamous place in the USA) to protect who they are, how to contact them, and where they live?

P.S. Once again, I am NOT in any way saying we shouldn't protect our information -- I'm just wondering what people think are the main catalysts are that has led to it being this way.

Everyone is welcome to answer, but I am especially interested in this topic as part of the single community and how we learn to navigate the crazy world of dating while doing so in a safe manner.
I think your asterisks cover the main ideas I was thinking. It's not any one reason, but a series of reasons.

If recall being 18 and first getting on the internet, AOL chat rooms, and it seemed then sharing personal info wasn't too taboo. There were some that warned against being so casual about it, but most didn't seem to have a problem with it.
But, as with anything, dome people found a way to misuse the internet and take advantage of people, which changed people's perceptions of how safe it is.
And of course we hear stories of people using the internet to find murder victims or to stalk people, etc...

Then you have scammers and catfish, etc...

Also giving even some info out now usually means it doesn't stop there.
Even far back as 2013 I met someone who thought they were being safe by limiting the info they gave to me. I had a first name, a state and a way to roughly narrow down what part of the state (something they shared without giving it a thought). I told them they were still giving out enough info to be found. They didn't believe me. 10 mins later I had their address, last name and even their maiden name. They were rather shocked as you can imagine, since they thought they were safe with the info they gave.

And that's the thing. Giving a little info now means a chance you're giving up a lot more than you intend, whereas in the past this wasn't a concern.

Also I think traveling longer distances is seen as more commonplace than it used to be. This promotes the thinking it can be easier, thus making them more likely, to show up at your door unexpected.

Essentially it comes down to feeling vulnerable. And you really Are more vulnerable now, online, than in the past, online or off. People know that.
 
J

jennymae

Guest
#6
I think it’s commonplace for at least girls to guard our personal information. I can’t really know who’s in the other end of an online conversation, even though a red flag usually pops up fast. I have advised my daughter to keep her phone number unlisted and all that stuff, but these days all the online services demand your phone number and email. Some of them even require your social security number. I’m not sure about how they’re handling that information.
 

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
Oct 23, 2018
13,071
10,638
113
#7
I was just reading some comments about Craigslist and FB Marketplace how many scammers will call trying to get private info, faking their interest in the product. The most disturbing thing I've seen lately is on any social media there is a program that can turn the person's facial looks back 20-30 yrs. It showed this man about 50 yrs and the side-by-side phony pic that turned him into a 30 yr old and it was creepy. So there is degenerates out there and my advise nowadays would be to stick to Christian site as much as possible. Then find out what church they go to, lol.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#8
spam most probably did it. Both email and 'direct marketing' where people doorknocked or phoned you up trying to sell you their junk.

I do give out personal information if I want people to visit me...!
But only to that person.

There are rules about sharing info with a third party. But because many businesses and unscrupulous people violated that rule, many people chose to be unlisted and dont give out info so freely anymore.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#9
Facebook often violates privacy rules or laws across countries. At first it was restricted to university graduates so they felt safe about who they were communicating with but when it got opened up to eveyone or moreover, baby boomers got on to it...they turned it into a marketing money making frenzy and effectively ruined it lol
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,425
2,416
113
#10
Well I'm trying to think of a good answer and I think there are several factors that lead to this perception (is it true? I'm not so sure about that but as far as I'm aware there's no practical ethical way to test it).

1) Travel is easier: So it's easier for the really horrible people to get to you no matter how far away you are, and therefore the safety of an inconvenient distance is greatly lessened. It's also one thing for the people at work who live in the same town as you (well nowadays more like several towns over) to know where you live since they already see you most every day anyway and something else for someone you've never met to suddenly show up on your doorstep.

2) Anonymity and distance removes consequences: more and more we live in a world without internal morals which leads to a culture of if you can get away with it, why not do it.

3) Breakdown of social connection: This was well underway before there was a term for "social distancing" but instead of growing up in the same community of people from a young age and living with pretty much the same people all your life, people move more and connect to their communities less (especially singles) which leads to feeling isolated and seeing other people as dangerous unknowns. It also means that we see less the negative impact of our actions on others.

4) Fearmongering: both because now instead of just hearing about the crazies in our town we hear about crazies in every town (and the internet will serve up more and more alarming content if that's what keeps you clicking) and because we seem to focus on the evil as exceptional and needing to be reported rather than the good. So the story about the guy who let air out of someone's tire so they could "help them" with intent to gain an opening and do harm becomes a chain e-mail but the many more stories about the good guys who stop to genuinely help the poor girl who has a flat tire ( seriously has happened to me 3 times, though one was at church, I feel like I'm never going to be allowed to change my own flat even after Dad taught me how) just isn't interesting enough to be repeated.

5) Technology: There's no denying that technology gives evil people greater access so that they can find and / or filter through a whole lot more people in search of victims. Which does mean that any info you put out there is much more likely to be used against you.
 
Aug 2, 2009
24,644
4,305
113
#11
Hey Everyone,

Something I have been pondering for a while is the way our culture has shifted so much as far as giving out any personal or contact information about ourselves.

I had a relative who was born in the 1800's, and back then, the primary source of communication was writing letters. When she died, among her possessions were boxes and boxes of postcards and letters she had exchanged with during her lifetime, and it had been with a vast number of people. Back then, giving people your exact location -- your home address -- was apparently not only socially acceptable, but really the only way to keep in touch, because this was a time before telephones were used in homes.

When I was growing up (before the internet,) I used to subscribe to (actual print) magazines in which you could fill out a short form with your name, address, age, and interests; mail it in, and then receive someone else's form that they had filled out (with their own handwriting) with whom you could start exchanging letters with.

What's that?! Complete strangers, meeting solely through written words, sent directly to each other's address?!! Preposterous, I know!!! And there was no way to Google anyone in those days or look them up to see if they had a criminal record -- you had to trust that these people were giving out their real names, addresses, and info about themselves.

What's even crazier is that over the years, one of my pen pals came from across the USA to visit my family (and then I went to see her - twice,) and another pen pal from Japan, along with her best friend, came to visit for a week. And we set the whole trip up with paper letters -- not a single phone call because of the enormous cost of overseas calls -- with our letters taking about 2 weeks to get to each other from each side.

And as I was growing up, once a year, you'd walk out your front door to find a Yellow Pages phone book chucked onto your driveway. This hefty, gargantuan book contained the names, numbers, and home addresses of everyone in that city and/or county. I'm not sure when the option came along to choose to be unlisted, but from what I could tell, you could find pretty much anyone you were looking for in that area -- and all the information was literally delivered right to your door.

I have relatives who used to live in a large senior community -- over a hundred thousand people -- and even in these modern times, they still print a regular old-fashioned phone book that is delivered to everyone's doorstep, just like when I was back home.

Now I'm certainly not advocating that anyone let down their guard and give out their information willy-nilly. Not at all. In fact, I have friends who made up aliases online to protect their identities, and I think they've been pretty smart about it. They're not out deceiving or cat fishing anyone -- they're just very cautious and can maintain control over who they allow to know more about them.

But what happened for things to become this way? How did we go from having our names, address, and phone numbers put together in a free book (that was conveniently updated every year) for everyone to see, to now having this modern day feeling that we don't really want anyone to know anything about us?

I would really like to know people's thoughts and stories as to how this transition took place.

* Is it because of the internet, and the fact that almost anything about you can be discovered online?

* Is it mostly because the online world has made hacking, identity theft, and scamming so much easier and widespread?

* Have we just become innately more private in a world that seems to want more and more of our personal information, and more often?

* Is it because the world has just become so much more dangerous than "back then," requiring more drastic measures of protecting ourselves?

* Is it because our methods of communication have changed, allowing us to stay as anonymous as we want?

I still have a few postcards from my older relative's former stash. I think they're an intriguing and long-lost part of history, especially when it comes to communication. And it makes me wonder if people felt any more of a connection then, or if they felt less lonely when they were writing to and receiving letters from others in their own handwriting -- an actual tangible thing to hold on to -- and it was sent to their actual addresses.

What do you think has led to this societal shift of everyone locking up and building up their own Fort Knox (an infamous place in the USA) to protect who they are, how to contact them, and where they live?

P.S. Once again, I am NOT in any way saying we shouldn't protect our information -- I'm just wondering what people think are the main catalysts are that has led to it being this way.

Everyone is welcome to answer, but I am especially interested in this topic as part of the single community and how we learn to navigate the crazy world of dating while doing so in a safe manner.
Now with google maps or any other map app or website you can just type in someone's address and it takes you right to it and you can even see the house and the street it's on as if you are there. And if you enter the address into your car or phone's navigation app it will give you directions to get there. In the news there were stories about mobs protesting outside of some of the supreme court justices' homes a couple years ago when someone leaked a draft opinion about their decision regarding the overturning of Roe vs Wade. The same was done to some politicians.
 

JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
6,191
2,508
113
#12
There's things like swatting,
Where you call the police and tell them that someone is making meth in their house....and the police come through the door with a "no knock warrant " and are ready to shoot anyone inside the home.
A guy got killed that way over a dispute from playing video games.

Then the credit card companies are desperate to sign people up for credit cards at high interest....30% interest these days. And someone from another state or country doesn't care...but sometimes it's someone you know who has stolen your identity.

Then there's the scams of asking all your family and friends for money by pretending that they are you and trapped in another country on holiday and have been robbed.

Banking fraud....computer scams to gain access to your savings is currently at an all time high. India and Nigeria are number one locations for these people to call from.

Then of course there's the stalkers and cyber bullies. Who say just about anything just to degrade and humiliate you. They just want to destroy your reputation and any potential relationships you might form. Or they want to "take you away" from all your problems by selling you to the highest bidder on the black market for the sex trade.

Everyone is out to get you, use you, use your credit, reputation, or relationships to enrich themselves despite the destruction they cause to you. Businesses are green mailed regularly with negative customer comment cards.

Some people are desperate for money and whether you believe it or not....you are seen as a "wealthy American". Most of the world survives and lives well on what most Americans make in 3-4 months. That's a strong motivator right there.

I've had conversations with friends who live abroad about it....they get it. I'm just an average schmuck. I work for a living the same as they do. I pay bills and struggle to get ahead like any of them. But I like traveling and seeing new places too. And yes, the cost of coming to their country is high...but I work and save and I can do it on occasion.

And we have to take EVERY precaution these days to just survive. Everything from paying for groceries and mortgages to just getting gas at the gas station with staged bank accounts.

Nobody with a brain tries to steal cash anymore because realistically nobody carries it. Maybe $20....that's about it. But credit cards, cell phones, and identities have tens of thousands to hundreds of thousands of dollars at their disposal.
 

JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
6,191
2,508
113
#13
Yeah....I know I sound paranoid....but maybe you aren't paranoid enough.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,437
5,383
113
#15
Yeah....I know I sound paranoid....but maybe you aren't paranoid enough.
Unfortunately, for singles (at least the ones I've talked to,) when it come to trying to find a romantic interest or even just a friend, it's really a double-edged sword.

I'm an old-fashioned girl in a high tech world (kind of like being the Coyote while everyone else is the Roadrunner.)



I like to take my time to get to know someone, and when it's online, I like to do so through written word. I understand that not many people have the patience for that these days, especially when and if they're in a hurry to meet someone.

So it seems to be one big Catch 22.

The Christian guys on the dating sites would ask for my number and want to talk within the first few days of online introductions; a week for them seemed like an eternity. Me on the other hand, I'd prefer to get to know someone for a long time (i.e., months) via writing rather than talk on the phone right away.

And in response, these "good Christian" guys would often tell me things such as, "Well unlike you, I'm an actual adult, and not an immature, paranoid adolescent." Which I understand. And I certainly know it can go both ways with "good Christian" women trying to demand immediate contact from a man as well.

When I was younger I felt pressure to give in; but I also knew a lot of people who would give their number to anyone that asked or seemed interesting -- and then they wound up having to change their number constantly because things usually went south pretty quick.

I stopped participating in any dating sites partially because of this. I know we live in a microwave world and no one has time for a slow cooker. :D

But that's ok. The great thing about meeting people here on CC over the years is that the forum regulars were used to communicating in writing to begin with.

There are times when I'm tempted to hop back into the rat race again, but I guess that's how God has changed my heart over time.

Right now I'm too distracted with other goals and life issues to go back to being constantly gaslit by strangers who tried to preach to me about "not having faith and trust," while simultaneously hurling insults at me for not giving out my number.

If anything, it taught me yet further lessons about the ways some people use "spirituality" as manipulation.
 

JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
6,191
2,508
113
#16
Unfortunately, for singles (at least the ones I've talked to,) when it come to trying to find a romantic interest or even just a friend, it's really a double-edged sword.

I'm an old-fashioned girl in a high tech world (kind of like being the Coyote while everyone else is the Roadrunner.)



I like to take my time to get to know someone, and when it's online, I like to do so through written word. I understand that not many people have the patience for that these days, especially when and if they're in a hurry to meet someone.

So it seems to be one big Catch 22.

The Christian guys on the dating sites would ask for my number and want to talk within the first few days of online introductions; a week for them seemed like an eternity. Me on the other hand, I'd prefer to get to know someone for a long time (i.e., months) via writing rather than talk on the phone right away.

And in response, these "good Christian" guys would often tell me things such as, "Well unlike you, I'm an actual adult, and not an immature, paranoid adolescent." Which I understand. And I certainly know it can go both ways with "good Christian" women trying to demand immediate contact from a man as well.

When I was younger I felt pressure to give in; but I also knew a lot of people who would give their number to anyone that asked or seemed interesting -- and then they wound up having to change their number constantly because things usually went south pretty quick.

I stopped participating in any dating sites partially because of this. I know we live in a microwave world and no one has time for a slow cooker. :D

But that's ok. The great thing about meeting people here on CC over the years is that the forum regulars were used to communicating in writing to begin with.

There are times when I'm tempted to hop back into the rat race again, but I guess that's how God has changed my heart over time.

Right now I'm too distracted with other goals and life issues to go back to being constantly gaslit by strangers who tried to preach to me about "not having faith and trust," while simultaneously hurling insults at me for not giving out my number.

If anything, it taught me yet further lessons about the ways some people use "spirituality" as manipulation.
Not everyone is gifted with writing talents. And writing these days is an especially limited form of communication. Facial expressions and tone can be the exact opposite of what you infer from reading what was written too. So I tended to extend grace for those who tend to have writing issues. (One guy I met had typing issues)

After personally meeting dozens of people I thought I knew from playing on forums I was always surprised by some major personality feature that absolutely was skipped in their posting.
Then there's those that seem to have an absolute disconnect between their words and their actions. (The two were never aligned except in their fantasies)

Then for me (because I'm a guy and not a female) there were the "Christian" women who slept with EVERY guy they met online. I'm not going to get into it but let's just say I do try to honor polite requests but don't react to demands very well. I take my faith rather simply but very seriously. And as a recovering Chef if my cooking doesn't please you....I am not the one with taste issues. I usually can appease those with champagne tastes on my discount beer budget.

One guy I met had absolutely horribly legalistic things written....but when we met he was such a grace giving person it seemed like a completely different guy.

Everyone I met I always asked if I was the person they were expecting. And all said similar things that I was basically who they expected but just "more". To this day I'm still trying to figure that out. Maybe it's just that I am alive. Dunno. But I'm as transparent as I can be.
 

Beckie

Well-known member
Feb 15, 2022
2,516
939
113
#17
Not everyone is gifted with writing talents. And writing these days is an especially limited form of communication. Facial expressions and tone can be the exact opposite of what you infer from reading what was written too. So I tended to extend grace for those who tend to have writing issues. (One guy I met had typing issues)

After personally meeting dozens of people I thought I knew from playing on forums I was always surprised by some major personality feature that absolutely was skipped in their posting.
Then there's those that seem to have an absolute disconnect between their words and their actions. (The two were never aligned except in their fantasies)

Then for me (because I'm a guy and not a female) there were the "Christian" women who slept with EVERY guy they met online. I'm not going to get into it but let's just say I do try to honor polite requests but don't react to demands very well. I take my faith rather simply but very seriously. And as a recovering Chef if my cooking doesn't please you....I am not the one with taste issues. I usually can appease those with champagne tastes on my discount beer budget.

One guy I met had absolutely horribly legalistic things written....but when we met he was such a grace giving person it seemed like a completely different guy.

Everyone I met I always asked if I was the person they were expecting. And all said similar things that I was basically who they expected but just "more". To this day I'm still trying to figure that out. Maybe it's just that I am alive. Dunno. But I'm as transparent as I can be.
Internet known you for years youi are the same :) that is a good thing
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,246
9,304
113
#18
Well I'm trying to think of a good answer and I think there are several factors that lead to this perception (is it true? I'm not so sure about that but as far as I'm aware there's no practical ethical way to test it).

1) Travel is easier: So it's easier for the really horrible people to get to you no matter how far away you are, and therefore the safety of an inconvenient distance is greatly lessened. It's also one thing for the people at work who live in the same town as you (well nowadays more like several towns over) to know where you live since they already see you most every day anyway and something else for someone you've never met to suddenly show up on your doorstep.

2) Anonymity and distance removes consequences: more and more we live in a world without internal morals which leads to a culture of if you can get away with it, why not do it.

3) Breakdown of social connection: This was well underway before there was a term for "social distancing" but instead of growing up in the same community of people from a young age and living with pretty much the same people all your life, people move more and connect to their communities less (especially singles) which leads to feeling isolated and seeing other people as dangerous unknowns. It also means that we see less the negative impact of our actions on others.

4) Fearmongering: both because now instead of just hearing about the crazies in our town we hear about crazies in every town (and the internet will serve up more and more alarming content if that's what keeps you clicking) and because we seem to focus on the evil as exceptional and needing to be reported rather than the good. So the story about the guy who let air out of someone's tire so they could "help them" with intent to gain an opening and do harm becomes a chain e-mail but the many more stories about the good guys who stop to genuinely help the poor girl who has a flat tire ( seriously has happened to me 3 times, though one was at church, I feel like I'm never going to be allowed to change my own flat even after Dad taught me how) just isn't interesting enough to be repeated.

5) Technology: There's no denying that technology gives evil people greater access so that they can find and / or filter through a whole lot more people in search of victims. Which does mean that any info you put out there is much more likely to be used against you.
Feh. She took all my points 2 days ago.

The only thing I have left to add is, back in the day you couldn't give false or partial information. Your package or letter or other interaction would get sent to the wrong house and you would probably never know what happened. Back then I remember being careful to add any information I thought would be relevant, and taking pains to make sure it was all accurate.

Also you had to take any interaction you could get back then, because it was rare. These days you have a never-ending buffet, and you can take as much or as little as you want.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#19
thats weird because isnt txting WRITING its not like you really actually TALK to a person on their phone anymore.

Most men are very bad at phone communication anyway so why they want a womans number is beyond me. Do we really want to hear grunts and monosyllabic answers or maybe a long winded one sided lecture. There doesnt seem to be a happy medium like an actual conversation going on between the sexes. lol
 
J

jennymae

Guest
#20
I was just reading some comments about Craigslist and FB Marketplace how many scammers will call trying to get private info, faking their interest in the product. The most disturbing thing I've seen lately is on any social media there is a program that can turn the person's facial looks back 20-30 yrs. It showed this man about 50 yrs and the side-by-side phony pic that turned him into a 30 yr old and it was creepy. So there is degenerates out there and my advise nowadays would be to stick to Christian site as much as possible. Then find out what church they go to, lol.
I wish I could turn my facial looks back a decade or so lol.