Why do men and women hate each other?

[Live4Him3]

thats very heavy stuff

I dont know if its mentioned here but the whole man hating women and vice versa seems to happen in only in unequally yoked marriages. And theres probably an element of Jezebel and Ahab spirits to it.

They marry each other but theres ulterior motives to their marriage. Ahabs get taken for a ride and it may be they are blinded. But then they chose to marry Jezebels who are very cunning and deceitful...they need to wise up

also Jezebels are not above saying 'God told me to marry you'

I'm not even going to bother quoting scripture (but there are plenty of them which totally back up what I'm about to say), but God himself entered into a covenant with the nation of Israel which he likened to a marriage covenant repeatedly, only to have her repeatedly commit spiritual adultery against him, and he ultimately gave her a writing of divorce.

Was God "blinded"?

Of course, he was not.

In my estimation, most people (and this includes most professing Christians) have no clue whatsoever (simply because many of them don't want to) what marriage is really all about. It's about a lot more than a couple cuddling together on a couch and watching a movie while sitting inside their house with a nice, white picket fence running around it.

In my particular case, my ex had some extremely serious problems. For example, witchcraft ran generationally in her family (in fact, my ex was literally practicing to become a literal witch in her native country of Panama before coming here to America for her sister's wedding, which is when she and I met), and I literally cast many different demons out of her in Jesus' name. I also prayed for her with a mutual friend of ours at that time, and a tumor literally came out of her private regions (she had been diagnosed with a form of uterine cancer in Panama). She also, as I didn't learn until about a month or so after we were married, had been repeatedly sexually molested by her own father between the ages of 5 and 6 years old, so she had some very serious psychological problems which required a lot of counseling and a lot of compassion.

Then, of course, there's our three children and their lives, and a whole host of other things to consider.

Anyhow, I can assure you that my eyes were WIDE OPEN when I got married. In fact, I spent the day before my wedding fasting and praying because I was seriously considering calling off my wedding, but God told me to go through with it.

 

[Lanolin]

ok but what did you expect, you married but it didnt last, was it ever going to be any different? Not really

God made a covenant with fallible people but He knew he was going to redeem them with his only begotten son.

A marriage bond is a lot different to the bond you have with your CHILDREN. You dont get to shape who your wife is. Shes not from you. But you get to love and care for your children who ARE your flesh and blood.

We dont marry God, we get adopted by Him.

 

[SteveEpperson]

Anyhow, their eternal destinies are my primary concern, so that's what I'm focusing on.

I sort of caught the tail end of this conversation. However, this statement jumped out at me.

I commend you for teaching your daughters the ways of the Lord. One day, they will appreciate you remaining steadfast.

I too am a divorced single father. I am blessed to have my nine-year-old son in a Christian school. Even with that, the forces of this world pull on him constantly.

Even though he is only nine, I treat him as a spiritual equal, conveying my struggles (not in detail, of course) and my triumphs. My advice is to not force Christianity on your children. Instead, it is better to witness to them and show how God has changed your life through Jesus Christ.

Also, make it very clear that just because you are saved and are going to heaven, that doesn't mean your daughters are. They have to know that it is their decision alone and no one can force it on them.

Sorry, I got off on a rant, but I am excited for your family. They have a father who is willing to take an eternal view and is willing to remain steadfast.

 

[Live4Him3]

I sort of caught the tail end of this conversation. However, this statement jumped out at me.

I commend you for teaching your daughters the ways of the Lord. One day, they will appreciate you remaining steadfast.

I too am a divorced single father. I am blessed to have my nine-year-old son in a Christian school. Even with that, the forces of this world pull on him constantly.

Even though he is only nine, I treat him as a spiritual equal, conveying my struggles (not in detail, of course) and my triumphs. My advice is to not force Christianity on your children. Instead, it is better to witness to them and show how God has changed your life through Jesus Christ.

Also, make it very clear that just because you are saved and are going to heaven, that doesn't mean your daughters are. They have to know that it is their decision alone and no one can force it on them.

Sorry, I got off on a rant, but I am excited for your family. They have a father who is willing to take an eternal view and is willing to remain steadfast.

Hey, Steve.

I actually have three children...two daughters and a son. And, no, I would never seek to force Christianity upon them (or anybody else for that matter), but I have taught them the uncompromised truth of God's word since they were infants. Of course, now that they're living with their Mom (only about 10 minutes away from me), I don't really get to have Bible studies and the like with them (I had plenty of them with them in the past), but I do still steer conversations in a spiritual direction whenever possible.

My son has always been soft-hearted.

My two daughters?

Well, they've been combative many times, and sometimes they listen. The toughest one now is my eldest daughter (19), but it wasn't always that way. When she was younger, her heart was very tender towards the Lord. In fact, I remember when she was something like 8 years old, she asked me to read the book of Revelation with her. I told her that I would in a few days, but that I wanted to explain a few things to her before we read it together. Well, a few days later when I went to read it with her, she told me that she had already read it alone because she couldn't wait. She can be VERY HOSTILE towards God/Christ/the Bible at times, and I have heard her use Jesus' name in vain twice over the last month or two. Of course, I've spoken to her about the same, but everyone has their own free will, so, if nothing else, I try to lead by example. I do notice, however, that they're all more open to listening when somebody that they know, whether personally or some celebrity, dies.

Being a parent is no joke, as you apparently already figured out yourself. This world truly is a spiritual battlefield, and what is at stake is the eternal destinies of people. May God help us to seek and to save that which is lost via the gospel of Jesus Christ as we submit ourselves to him and his plans for our lives.

 

[Live4Him3]

ok but what did you expect, you married but it didnt last, was it ever going to be any different? Not really

What did I expect?

I expected to keep my vows that I had made before God when I entered into a marriage covenant with my wife, and I did just that. I obviously have no control over anybody's will but my own. She was free to do whatever she wanted to do, and she chose to break her own vows before God, break our marital covenant by cheating on me and then divorcing me, and ultimately to renounce Christ/Christianity.

I hope that you know that I take no pleasure whatsoever in saying these things. My ex will have to answer before God one day, and it's not going to end well for her unless there's some major and genuine repentance on her part before then. It's not likely that she'll ever repent, and, again, that thought brings me no pleasure whatsoever. I still pray for her every day, and, in fact, I just saw her about an hour ago.

God made a covenant with fallible people but He knew he was going to redeem them with his only begotten son.

God overthrew, IN HIS WRATH, 603,548 of the original 603,550 Israelite men who were 20 years old and upward who had all been redeemed from Egyptian bondage by the blood of the Passover lamb which prefigured or foreshadowed Christ. Ultimately, he gave the nation of Israel, specifically the 10 northern tribes, a bill of divorcement. God's not playing games, and neither am I.

A marriage bond is a lot different to the bond you have with your CHILDREN. You dont get to shape who your wife is. Shes not from you. But you get to love and care for your children who ARE your flesh and blood.

Yes, and...???

Have I ever said or even insinuated otherwise?

No, I have not.

Believe me, I love my children to pieces, and I would literally lay my life down for them if need be.

We dont marry God, we get adopted by Him.

Well, that depends upon which member of the Godhead you're referring to.

God the Father is our Father.

However, Jesus Christ is the bridegroom, and Christians have been espoused to him.

Also, the Biblical definition of "adoption" is NOT the same definition of "adoption" which we regularly use today. In Paul's day, "adoption" was a Roman coming-of-age ceremony in which a child passed from the status of a child into that of an adult while having certain rights and privileges given to him at that time. Anyhow, that's another discussion for another day.

 

[Magenta]

When I said that children are dumped into the public school system by their parents,
I was contrasting that with the very real option of homeschooling their own children.

Anyhow, my overall point was that it is the parents' responsibility to train up their own
children, but they more often than not dump that responsibility upon others (the school
system, the church, etc., etc.) and then complain about the results of the same.

Before my mother got married, she was a teacher in a one-room school house. After she
got married, the kids started coming, and did not stop for nineteen years. Eleven children
over ten pregnancies. You might think that since she had been a teacher herself, in a one-
room schoolhouse, which meant different ages and grade studies concurrently, that she
might consider home schooling her own children. I honestly don't know if this was ever
something she seriously considered. But I do know that, even as the older kids helped
a lot with housework and looking after the younger kids as they continued to be born,
there was a lot of work my mother did which probably really would have left no time
for home schooling her children. My parents were Roman Catholics, and sent us to what
was called "separate school." That meant they paid taxes like everybody else to support
the regular public school system, AND they paid to send us to Catholic schools.

 

[Live4Him3]

Before my mother got married, she was a teacher in a one-room school house. After she
got married, the kids started coming, and did not stop for nineteen years. Eleven children
over ten pregnancies. You might think that since she had been a teacher herself, in a one-
room schoolhouse, which meant different ages and grade studies concurrently, that she
might consider home schooling her own children. I honestly don't know if this was ever
something she seriously considered. But I do know that, even as the older kids helped
a lot with housework and looking after the younger kids as they continued to be born,
there was a lot of work my mother did which probably really would have left no time
for home schooling her children. My parents were Roman Catholics, and sent us to what
was called "separate school." That meant they paid taxes like everybody else to support
the regular public school system, AND they paid to send us to Catholic schools.

I come from a large family myself in that I'm the eighth child out of nine. My mother was also a teacher (she taught Latin, Spanish, and French) in the public school system for 30 years. That said, and I don't mean for this to sound dishonoring to her (she's no longer alive), she really didn't teach any of her own children diddly-squat about anything.

Anyhow, my point is simply this:

When it comes to marriage and raising a family, it's no joking matter. God fully expects for certain things to be done in certain ways, and we're either going to obey him in those things or we're not. Before I got married, I had several discussions with my soon-to-be wife about what marriage is all about...about the roles of a husband and a wife...about the responsibilities of parenting...about being self-employed so I could be more accessible to my wife and any children we might have...about homeschooling any children that we might have...etc., etc., etc. We came to agreements on all of these matters before we ever said "I do", and when we did say "I do", we didn't just say it before the human witnesses then present, but before God himself who was watching.

Again, I did everything not only in my own power, but by God's power, to keep my vows and fulfill my roles as both a husband and a father. I'm not trying to paint myself as "Mr. Perfect", especially in that there are a multitude of sins that I've committed in my past, but I sincerely fear God, and I sincerely sought to do everything according to his word and his ways. With all the wrongs that I've committed in my life, if I've ever done anything right, then it was in relation to my marriage and the upbringing of my children.

Ironically, that is when I faced the most opposition ever in my life...even to the point of my ex pressing totally phony charges against me of "multiple cases of domestic violence and child abuse". Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, could ever be further from the truth. Thankfully, when summoned to appear before a judge in court, my prayers were answered in relation to God granting me a wise and discerning judge, and I was cleared of all charges. My ex had obtained a temporary restraining order against me which forbade me from seeing my children, and she was seeking a permanent restraining order in relation to the same that day in court. I'm not trying to be anything other than honest in what I'm about to say, but she's an exceedingly wicked woman, and it wasn't always that way. She did truly walk with Christ initially, and she ultimately came to despise HIS CALLING upon her life. Again, it had absolutely nothing to do with anything that I ever said or did to her. I treated her like a queen.

Anyhow, I never meant for this thread to become my life history. Granted, I have given personal testimony to hopefully make some points, but I'm planning on basically bowing out of talking about myself here anymore while allowing the discussion to return to normal.

In closing, God never told us to dump our children off on others.

 

[joecoten]

Today's world is a woman's world...especially if you're a man. SMH

 

[shineyourlight]

I think people get hung up on their own hurts from the opposite gender. They might have had some bad experiences and therefore, place the majority of the opposite gender in a box. There can be a variety of reasons.

 

[Seeking-Christ]

I think people get hung up on their own hurts from the opposite gender. They might have had some bad experiences and therefore, place the majority of the opposite gender in a box. There can be a variety of reasons.

I think people try to learn from their mistakes, and not repeat them. Except you can't adjust yourself because everyone is different. What bugs one person doesn't bug another. That's been my experience. You know after a 11 or 12 years of trying and not getting anywhere at all. Not even a date, you start to think that maybe either there something sadly wrong with you, or God doesn't want you with anyone.

 

[Live4Him3]

I think people get hung up on their own hurts from the opposite gender. They might have had some bad experiences and therefore, place the majority of the opposite gender in a box. There can be a variety of reasons.

I would imagine that what you've said is true with a lot of people.

In my particular case, I really don't like to stereotype, but sometimes you simply have to go where the evidence leads you...at least in relation to your own very limited life's experiences (somebody else's life experiences may be totally different than your own). When it comes to evaluating women, that would also include the women I've encountered here, and there do seem to be some godly ones here, and I'd be genuinely happy for any man who might wind up being with one of them some day.

I said not too long ago on another thread that I have a soft or tender spot in my heart for love in general, and I most definitely meant it. In other words, even if/though true love has escaped or eluded me, then I'm still genuinely thrilled when others find it. In fact, I just finished watching a movie about love before logging back on here, and I literally clapped at the end when the couple truly found and embraced each other.

That all said and truly meant, even though this might sound like a total contradiction of everything that I've said thus far, I do honestly place the majority of BOTH genders in a box in that I think that very few men or women truly seek to live the types of lives which God desires us/them to live generally speaking, and definitely specifically speaking in regard to marital relationships. I base this assessment on both what I read in scripture, and what I've personally witnessed throughout my own lifetime.

Anyhow, I'm still a HUGE fan of love.

God bless those who truly find it.

 

[Live4Him3]

I think people try to learn from their mistakes, and not repeat them. Except you can't adjust yourself because everyone is different. What bugs one person doesn't bug another. That's been my experience.

This is precisely why you simply need to be yourself. If someone loves you for who you truly are, then great. However, if you have to pretend to be somebody that you're not in order to please someone else, then you're definitely with the wrong person.

You know after a 11 or 12 years of trying and not getting anywhere at all. Not even a date, you start to think that maybe either there something sadly wrong with you, or God doesn't want you with anyone.

For whatever it's worth, having read many of your posts, and having even conversed with you both publicly and privately at times, I don't really think that there's anything major wrong with you. Perhaps some tweaks needed here and there, but your heart seems to be in the right place.

 

[joecoten]

After my last marriage, I was done with it for 16 years. Then, a few years ago, the Lord did something amazing in my heart. As I'm in my 60s and have poor health and live on a pension, I wouldn't want to be with someone if I was a burden. But if I met the right someone with whom things would be equal, like someone in my situation, I could fall in love again.
Look at Gideon 300. He's 71 and he's getting married again! He must be happy. That thought makes me happy! I pray the Lord blesses both of them richly!

 

[Live4Him3]

After my last marriage, I was done with it for 16 years.

I think that I can officially AND happily say that I'm done for good.

Now, I'm content living my life on this forum vicariously through my bear profile picture (C'mon...at least admit that he's cute), and my love life vicariously through watching (NOT like a peeping Tom...lol) and rooting for others.

 

[joecoten]

I think that I can officially AND happily say that I'm done for good.

Now, I'm content living my life on this forum vicariously through my bear profile picture (C'mon...at least admit that he's cute), and my love life vicariously through watching (NOT like a peeping Tom...lol) and rooting for others.

He's alright...for a bear. I like kitty-cats myself, in all sizes! Lol
I thought I was done too. Perhaps I am. You never know, when you least expect it...blammo!

 

[Live4Him3]

He's alright...for a bear.

I'll pretend that I didn't hear that.

La la la la la la la...

I like kitty-cats myself, in all sizes! Lol

I was always a dog person, but when my children were little, they asked their Mom and me if they could have a cat. We told them "no", and they responded by saying "Well, we're going to pray for one then". In all seriousness, beginning the very next day, a stray cat started showing up on our front deck, and it used to claw on our front door until we fed it. Well, it eventually had 4 kittens right under our deck, and we kept one of them. We figured that God had answered our children's prayers, and who were we to fight against God? I fell in love with her. I was SO SAD when I got divorced, and we had to give her away (we both moved to places which didn't allow pets).

I've always been a big fan of big cats. For most of my life, lions were my favorite animal by far, and I've always liked tigers, jaguars, cougars, leopards, and panthers as well. Somewhere along the line, grizzly bears, and then just bears in general, became my favorite. I've designed several Christian t-shirts that I wear, and some of them have bears on them, while others have lions or tigers on them. I also have shirts with a variety of other animals on them as well (gorilla, raccoon, owl, etc.), and they all have a corresponding Bible verse to match the image on the shirt.

I'm lying in bed right now, and I have my Queen-sized, double-sided lion blanket lying right next to me.

 

[Lynx]

Someone mentioned cats so here I am. =^.^=

 

[Live4Him3]

Someone mentioned cats so here I am. =^.^=

When the cat's away, the mice will play...

 

[Ruby123]

My cats two kittens

 

[joecoten]

My cats two kittens

View attachment 240636

The only problem with kitties is that they grow old and die. But such is life.
Nice kitty-cats!