Why do I ignore people?

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ArtsieSteph

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
#1
Apr 1, 2014
6,194
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#1
I have this weird thing about me socially. Sometimes I just flat out ignore my friends. Like not when they're physically with me, but if they call me or email me.

Why? Why. I am social, I love people, I love my friends and family. Why on earth are there points where I just want to not engage with people. Maybe I have antisocial tendencies...?
 
JosephsDreams

JosephsDreams

Senior Member
#2
Dec 31, 2015
4,313
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#2
That is something that seems to be be, from just my experience, more prevalent then I was your age. Of course there were no emails, texting, etc., but I am talking about phone calls, or letters, or one friend telling the other that so and so was asking for you.
Of course it could just be me, and my charming ways (sarcasm), but I have spoken to other people and they say the same thing.
Speaking from just my perspective, I think it is rude. I was raised that a reply is usually something that is the thing to do.
So let me ask you, is this a generational thing? Are parents not raising their kids in a way that putting forth that a reply is a respectful way to be?
Or is it just your age group?
Or am I just imagining this?
 
S

sharkwhales

Senior Member
#3
Jan 31, 2016
280
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#3
Some people are introverted and 'recharge their batteries' by spending some alone time.

Also, you might have some negative association with talking to people through those mediums.
 
lookwhatthelordhasdone

lookwhatthelordhasdone

Senior Member
#4
Oct 11, 2012
1,026
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#4
One word.

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No, seriously though. It seems there is such a demand to be connected to the outside world at all times. Email, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, Texting, Calling. It's like ugh, no wonder I'm exhausted and refuse to answer my phone when someone calls. People got along just fine when we didn't have all of these different outlets we are expected to check into. There was this interesting article which said that Facebook and other social media outlets only give the illusion of friendships and spending time with people, but in all reality we feel more lonely now than we've ever been. We go on social media to be social; we talk to people we haven't seen in person in years. Getting likes and shares triggers the reward centers in our brains, which makes us want to post more, and when we don't get the likes and shares we want, we feel inadequate, unloved. We scroll through other's lives, catching glimpses. I truly believe social media is awful for the human psyche, which is why I completely cut it out of my life. Now I focus on spending that time with friends, in person.

It was surprising how much more often I picked up the phone for a call, or responding to a text when I got off of social networks.




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Last edited:
Dino246

Dino246

Senior Member
#5
Jun 30, 2015
25,400
13,746
113
#5
ArtsieSteph said:
I have this weird thing about me socially. Sometimes I just flat out ignore my friends. Like not when they're physically with me, but if they call me or email me.

Why? Why. I am social, I love people, I love my friends and family. Why on earth are there points where I just want to not engage with people. Maybe I have antisocial tendencies...?
Click to expand...
You're not anti-social, you are simply developing boundaries, which is a really healthy thing to do.

I can relate to not necessarily responding right away. I do usually respond, but on my own terms. There is nothing wrong with taking time on your own. The question to ask yourself is, do your friends own your time and have the right to require your instant response? I suspect not. It's your courtesy to extend, not theirs to demand. :)

When I first started carrying a cell phone, I decided that it is a convenience, not a leash. As I grow in grace (ever so slowly), I'm more willing to let others into my 'personal' time/space. Jesus took time by Himself, but also responded to needs and desires.
 
Justcallmetinman

Justcallmetinman

Senior Member
#6
Apr 11, 2016
385
5
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#6
My phone is for my use and for the convenience of me. Other people do not dictate when I deem it appropriate to respond. I respond when I want to and my friends understand that and they also do not infringe on my choices. It is rude to expect a person to respond just because I think my time is more valuable than theirs. My phone is turned off most of the time. That way, my friends know I am not available. Try it. Its peaceful:)
 
Justcallmetinman

Justcallmetinman

Senior Member
#7
Apr 11, 2016
385
5
0
#7
JosephsDreams said:
That is something that seems to be be, from just my experience, more prevalent then I was your age. Of course there were no emails, texting, etc., but I am talking about phone calls, or letters, or one friend telling the other that so and so was asking for you.
Of course it could just be me, and my charming ways (sarcasm), but I have spoken to other people and they say the same thing.
Speaking from just my perspective, I think it is rude. I was raised that a reply is usually something that is the thing to do.
So let me ask you, is this a generational thing? Are parents not raising their kids in a way that putting forth that a reply is a respectful way to be?
Or is it just your age group?
Or am I just imagining this?
Click to expand...

Cells phones and email werent around when you were "raised" .
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#8
#8
ArtsieSteph said:
I have this weird thing about me socially. Sometimes I just flat out ignore my friends. Like not when they're physically with me, but if they call me or email me.

Why? Why. I am social, I love people, I love my friends and family. Why on earth are there points where I just want to not engage with people. Maybe I have antisocial tendencies...?
Click to expand...
Because I can't do the laundry, wash the dishes, prepare the Greek potatoes, read my Bible, eat, go to the bathroom, or have simple Me Time, if I'm forever possessed to respond to every "Which ya doing, cuz I'm walking down the street" or "How's it going, cuz I'm..." in the world.

There. I said it. Too many people spend too much time thinking posting an app that tells me how far they ran or posting a picture of a salad that looks like every other salad in the world is grounds to inform all their friends exactly what they're doing at that precise moment in the day. I don't care if you just stopped by a WaWa. In like kind, I will not bore you with the fact that my olive oil did NOT go rancid since the last time it was used. lol
 
Born_Again

Born_Again

Senior Member
#9
Nov 15, 2014
1,585
129
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#9
ArtsieSteph said:
I have this weird thing about me socially. Sometimes I just flat out ignore my friends. Like not when they're physically with me, but if they call me or email me.

Why? Why. I am social, I love people, I love my friends and family. Why on earth are there points where I just want to not engage with people. Maybe I have antisocial tendencies...?
Click to expand...
Nah, there is a lot to be said for ignoring people. I do it quite frequently, actually. That may or may not have played a part in my divorce. LOL But, when I ignore people, it allows me to dictate how I spend my time. The person being ignored also realizes that life will still go on if they don't get to talk to you! Its quite brilliant, actually. :)

I'm not anti-social. I very extroverted in-fact. But, when I don't want to talk to people, I don't want to talk. Its that simple.
 
ArtsieSteph

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
#10
Apr 1, 2014
6,194
1,321
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Arizona
#10
I mean it's not like I have the thought of "I just don't want to talk to this person." It's more I see the update of I have an email or text, and I just keep doing what I'm doing. And I don't think I'm introverted, I get energized when I talk and interact with people. In real life though mostly. If it's like a phone call or email sometimes I'm just like, "I wanna watch youtube instead."

I don't know....
 
C

coby2

Guest
#11
#11
If I got so much emails and phone calls I'd consider shutting my phone off.
Jesus just walked away from all the people that needed Him to pray in a lonely place.
 
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