Why am I single?

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Chenoa

New member
#1
Mar 6, 2020
4
1
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#1
For so many years all I ever wanted I'd to get married and have children of my own. But I've never been in a relationship before. I've been praying about this and asking for the right husband. But I just feel like God isn't listening... I have even prayed and asked Him to take this desire for a family away because it's making me so depressed, but it just doesn't go away. As a woman, God wants us to raise children and take care of a house hold... But it feels like no man sees me as good enough. I've had a few guys show intreset in me... But it always grow cold when I show intreset back. Please I'm asking for a answer, this is hurting me so much all I want is a family life, is that so much to ask for? To furfil the purpose God wants us to do?
 
Nehemiah6

Nehemiah6

Senior Member
#2
Jul 18, 2017
26,074
13,773
113
#2
Chenoa said:
But I just feel like God isn't listening... I have even prayed and asked Him to take this desire for a family away because it's making me so depressed, but it just doesn't go away.
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While I should probably not even be responding (since I am nor single), you should not be expecting God to do what He expects you to do.

So rather than be depressed about this, make a list of all the suitable venues where you can meet a suitable partner, then go and introduce yourself to anyone you think might be a good contact (after this coronavirus flap is over).

You are good enough for anyone who is good enough for you. But unless you believe this first, it won't work. So you might want to sit down and make a list of all your assets (mental, physical, emotional, spiritual) and then tell yourself "Of course I am good enough. Now let's see who's good enough for me!":cool:
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#3
Mar 13, 2014
42,578
17,046
113
69
Tennessee
#3
Chenoa said:
For so many years all I ever wanted I'd to get married and have children of my own. But I've never been in a relationship before. I've been praying about this and asking for the right husband. But I just feel like God isn't listening... I have even prayed and asked Him to take this desire for a family away because it's making me so depressed, but it just doesn't go away. As a woman, God wants us to raise children and take care of a house hold... But it feels like no man sees me as good enough. I've had a few guys show interest in me... But it always grow cold when I show interest back. Please I'm asking for a answer, this is hurting me so much all I want is a family life, is that so much to ask for? To fulfill the purpose God wants us to do?
Click to expand...
It only takes the right man to see you as good enough and if it is God's will and desire, He will certainly search and find a loving and faithful man of your heart's desire. You are right to pray about this. There are others on this site in the same situation as you so please know that you're not alone in this. Glad to have you as part of our family. Welcome to CC.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#4
Feb 21, 2014
70,920
9,669
113
#4
Why do you have two duplicate threads in the same forum? There's no need for more than one. :)

Maybe God is saying "wait". Or "not right now".. But rest assured, He IS listening.. :)
 
Gregoryp

Gregoryp

Banned
#5
Jul 20, 2019
1,228
882
113
#5
Chenoa said:
For so many years all I ever wanted I'd to get married and have children of my own. But I've never been in a relationship before. I've been praying about this and asking for the right husband. But I just feel like God isn't listening... I have even prayed and asked Him to take this desire for a family away because it's making me so depressed, but it just doesn't go away. As a woman, God wants us to raise children and take care of a house hold... But it feels like no man sees me as good enough. I've had a few guys show intreset in me... But it always grow cold when I show intreset back. Please I'm asking for a answer, this is hurting me so much all I want is a family life, is that so much to ask for? To furfil the purpose God wants us to do?
Click to expand...
I feel your angst and I am in a similar position. Have had a few long term relationships but knew deep down they were not really the one .All I can do is keep asking
 
Subhumanoidal

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
#6
Sep 17, 2018
4,058
3,172
113
#6
Marriage is not a promise. Few Christian's grasp that, or are willing to accept it.

"God wants us to raise children and take care of a house hold"
"To fulfill the purpose God wants us to do"
Funny, I thought humanity's purpose, Male and female, was to preach the gospel to all nations, seek God and to live a holy life, things like that. I must've missed the scripture where it says Gods purpose is for us to have babies. Somebody better tell Paul, who wrote most of the NT, because he very plainly discouraged marriage as an interference in serving God to the fullest.

I'm 44, never been married, and not for a lack of desire. My cousin was nearly 60 before he ever got married, also not from a lack of desire.
Also, presuming marriage is a promise, there is no time frame for when God may fulfill that promise. Look how old Abram was before God gave him the baby he promised, and how long he had to wait.
Really this is Your obsession and you being upset that you aren't getting what you want, when you want. People somehow think when it comes to wanting marriage they aren't being selfish in wanting it on Their schedule, and getting angry or depressed when it doesn't happen the way they want.
 
C

Chenoa

New member
#7
Mar 6, 2020
4
1
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#7
Please rember that women are vastly different to men. Yes my desire may have become an obsession and I admit that, but we were made to bear children and be a partner to our husband. Why else did God make Eve for Adam?
 
Nehemiah6

Nehemiah6

Senior Member
#8
Jul 18, 2017
26,074
13,773
113
#8
blue_ladybug said:
Maybe God is saying "wait". Or "not right now".
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From what we see in Scripture, I don't believe this would really apply. In fact the younger widows are encouraged to marry and bear children, rather than sit around. And of course we have this in Genesis 1:27,28:

So God created man in His own image, in the image of God created He him; male and female created He them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#9
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
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#9
I think eve as the exception for adam. they were the only two people on earth at the time.
Cos I didnt come out of a mans rib. I was born again for Gods purpose and apparently even though Im a woman, God doesnt want me to suffer through childbirth, which on face of it seems actually ok by me. Cos I get to looks HUNDREDS of children instead of just a few and have an extended family of thousands.

And when I ask Jesus what didnt you want a family of your own, hes like. those who obey God are like his brothers and sisters and mothers. And he said to suffer the little children and forbid them not to come to him, even when they were not biologically his own....cos hes going to give the Kingdom to them.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#10
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#10
that seems silly that no man thinks you are good enough. Good enough for what.
Not sure what they are basing it on, but you could just say, are you interested in becoming a dad and having a family with me and see what they say.

If they are not then they are just not ready, dont take it personal but surely theres probably someone out there that is. That is if you arent busy looking after the family you ALREADY have.
 
Vagabond

Vagabond

Member
#11
Feb 19, 2020
63
56
18
#11
blue_ladybug said:
Why do you have two duplicate threads in the same forum? There's no need for more than one. :)

Maybe God is saying "wait". Or "not right now".. But rest assured, He IS listening.. :)
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In case the other one flops :)
 
G

GWYW_Bob

Member
#12
Jun 12, 2020
95
32
18
#12
Chenoa said:
For so many years all I ever wanted I'd to get married and have children of my own. But I've never been in a relationship before. I've been praying about this and asking for the right husband. But I just feel like God isn't listening... I have even prayed and asked Him to take this desire for a family away because it's making me so depressed, but it just doesn't go away. As a woman, God wants us to raise children and take care of a house hold... But it feels like no man sees me as good enough. I've had a few guys show intreset in me... But it always grow cold when I show intreset back. Please I'm asking for a answer, this is hurting me so much all I want is a family life, is that so much to ask for? To furfil the purpose God wants us to do?
Click to expand...
I can relate to you, although as a man. I looked of course but I was going to pray with importunity like the friend at midnight parable as Jesus taught to pray, and pray to God citing various verses about marriage. I didn't give up because my desire was so strong, like yours. I needed a wife. I couldn't give up anymore than Hannah gave up trying to have a baby. She HAD to have a baby, I'm sure she felt that way. It wasn't wrong of her. The Bible didn't criticise her for that. She did have a baby eventually.
 
P

Prycejosh1987

Well-known member
#13
Jul 19, 2020
1,016
189
63
#13
Chenoa said:
For so many years all I ever wanted I'd to get married and have children of my own. But I've never been in a relationship before. I've been praying about this and asking for the right husband. But I just feel like God isn't listening... I have even prayed and asked Him to take this desire for a family away because it's making me so depressed, but it just doesn't go away. As a woman, God wants us to raise children and take care of a house hold... But it feels like no man sees me as good enough. I've had a few guys show intreset in me... But it always grow cold when I show intreset back. Please I'm asking for a answer, this is hurting me so much all I want is a family life, is that so much to ask for? To furfil the purpose God wants us to do?
Click to expand...
You sound just like my sister, accept she doesnt pray on God to give her a partner, but she has the same values. I tell her to look after herself and show signs and have even offered to set up dates for her. She really wants it, and has dated men that were younger than her. The problem is she expects too much from a man, and this has led her to end opportunities with potential guys. Before there is marriage, there is dating, and she doesnt believe in that, she thinks she will meet a guy one day and the next he will be faithful support her and get married soon. The world does not work in this way, even God does not expect that to happen. Look at Jacobs life in meeting his wives. They had to make themselves known, if your worried about rejection then show unmistakable subtle signs.
 
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