My question is why do I keep holding on to a ex that has moved on. He was sweet in the beginning and I got along with his family tho there were a few I did not like. He became verbally abusive towards me and it ended right after his mom died from cancer.I did not get to say goodbye to her because I closed myself off from his family before we split. I was with him for 7 years and had no kids.He always told me it would never work even from the beginning cut down my family. I went through alot of trauma and I may be still in (denial) my name is kaitlin and the girl he is with has 2 kids and her name is( Kristen) my sister's name as well as it starts with a K how ironic which makes me very pissed off.I know I need to let this go and I just can't believe how this all happened. I should of read the signs 2 years in because he has cheated on me more then once yet I went back to him. But I see him doing better then me..💔 why are people so cruel!
Everyone has given important advice, so I will share how to receive healing.
Everything connects to Jesus, so we will eventually get to His name.
You have been hurt psychologically, but ultimately you have been hurt spiritually. The reason verbal abuse and being cheated on hurts so badly is because we instinctively know a great wrong is taking place. It violates the inner conscience of right and wrong. This violation, if not fixed, will be like a hole in a ship. The further you go, the heavier it will get until you hit that point of sinking in the vulnerability of spiritual attack.
Satan will latch onto this like a lion looking for weakness. The lies will even have you second-guessing yourself, feeling shame, guilt, or lost in anger and depression.
The ship sinks deeper, and the air becomes thinner, giving us irrational actions in response to the emotions at hand.
Irrational but still very real and very much painful. Irrational exemplified, for instance, in wanting to go back to the abuser.
An awful fact is that many women in homes for abused women end up going back even when it leads to their death. For people on the outside looking in, we ask what would make her go back? Love? Co-dependency? Or Fear?
Only she could explain her thinking about going back.
My point is we should look at the original wounds and not just the side effects.
These wounds were just as much spiritual as psychological. We are human and created as a triune beings as soul, body, and mind. When damage occurs, your soul will feel it.
It may sound cliche but lay your pain at the feet of Jesus. Accept forgiveness for any area you feel needs to be forgiven and rest in Him. Seek Him and meditate on His Words. Allow the Holy Spirit to move within and guide you to healing. Let Him heal your anger, pain, sorrow, and seek the joy/peace of Christ. Pray for these things, and in the realm of forgiveness, you will find it easier to let your ex go.
A journey always begins with a choice and then an action. A choice to make the first step. That choice must be to first make the step into spiritual healing, then all else with follow.