It's not an easy question to answer personally.
I am at a point where my desire to get married is diminishing.
Okay, start over.
I guess you could say I was never into getting married because I am supposed to or because everyone else is getting married.
No interest whatsoever because of pressure from family or society - i could careless.
It is one of single most important events in your life - you become one with someone with different background, value, gender, and even sometimes culture - therefore, at least I want to marry someone I'm madly in love with, that's right, you heard me, MADLY in love with. Even with all the downplay on romanticism or what proper Christians ought to do - I want to marry someone I am madly in love with, and I tell my heavenly Dad that's how I would like it to happen (*wink at Him - "Son, did you just wink at me?")
Now, that being said, I am not sure what's stopping me:
1. God: "Son, you ain't ready yet" Me: "Nooo! Objection!"
2. Me: Maybe I'm just not really interested in getting married - I mean, look at me, do I look like someone who is preparing and actively living his life in a manner so he can get married? Not really - it's more like you are waiting for things to happen and may end up in my 80's in deathbed, looking at the ceiling and mutter "So, I am not ready yet Dad?" Perhaps, I've waited little too long based on my own standard or maybe God has something soon and she's right around the corner.
But one thing honestly I can tell you is that I don't think I can ever say that I was 100% content with being single all my life.
My good friend, Lynx, (I hope he considers me as a good friend) is telling you the truth - every word he said.
For me, I don't think I was 100% content being single - perhaps I was mostly content being single but it is that one night when I'm listening to something, some old songs that take me back in time, I feel the need and want to be with the person whom I can be one so I can share the feeling and emotion I feel at the moment - which is precious and very personal to the point where even my own self cannot explain what it is - and want her to feel at least that I'm sharing something that is very important to me and not appreciate but feel and experience that we are 'one' at that moment because she just knows that this guy is revealing to her his innermost part of his being that he is capable of opening up. Not sure if I can get up after we get married for ten years or coming back from work after having a long day and look at her and feel 'Me is one with this gal' instantaneously. However, at least, I want to have moments in our lives where we can and we know we are one (not because we are husband and wife) because of something we experienced together that superseded our human understanding - SO, when I wake up in the morning after being married for 10 years or coming home from having a long day, AND SEE HER, something changes instantaneously - for good and for better - because she is that person that I married and become one 10 years ago. That face, her voice, and just.. her - I feel better already. That is what I want.
That Is What I Want.
PS: Haha.. got little carried away - that's my honest thought on the subject (and sorry if I didn't answer/respond to the topic at hand - and my final answer? I trust Him enough and choose to trust His direction because He loves me, even with all these craziness!)
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