Well, i hope you guys/girls are right. really hope one day i will find Him and can sing for real!
I feel led to tell you something about the journey after you have asked Jesus into your heart and to be your Lord and Savior.
My best friend growing up was a mean sort of person. He got himself into a lot of trouble. Eventually he ended up in prison for many years. When he was released his parole officer was mean and would do things that caused my friend to react and get back into trouble. He had enough. He was thinking about killing his parole officer.
He called me and we got together and spent hours talking about all sorts of things. I asked him, what all have you tried to fix your situation? He told me the many ways he went about trying to be a better person but the "system" kept holding him down. He asked me, what I thought he should do. I asked him if he was saved. He said no. I asked him if he wanted to know Jesus and see if Jesus could change his life. He shrugged his shoulders and made a couple comments so I stopped mentioning it.
A few days later he calls me again. Once again he did something that his parole officer was going to send him back to prison over. I said let's meet up. We did. He said, I have been thinking about Jesus and then I went and violated my parole. I asked if he thought that thinking about Jesus caused him to violate his parole. He said no, but he was frustrated and just did it. I asked, do you want to know Jesus? He said yes. We prayed and next time I saw him was in the court room being sentenced. He got another 6 months but he would be spending his time in the county jail.
As a preacher, I go to that jail and issue Bibles to those who will take one and tell them Jesus loves you. So I knew I would go and visit my friend. As time went by and I would visit I saw that he was reading the Bible more and more (he had plenty of free time). And with about a couple weeks left on his sentence, that had been shortened to half time served, he was jumped and fought back and was in trouble again. He got another month added to his time.
During that extra 4 weeks time, a friend of his ended up being put into his same cell block. Within a couple weeks, that friend of his was reading the Bible and the 3 of us would talk about God when I visited. My friend actually led his friend to accept Jesus.
Eventually both of them were freed and there were times they still made mistakes, like "we all do." And we would talk about it. Pray about it.
Today, my friend is one of my assistant pastors and his friend (now my friend) leads Praise and Worship for the church.
They still make mistakes, like "we all do," but we tell God we're sorry for them and move on.
Thysia81,
Just don't listen to the people that tell you there's a bunch of rules to follow because they are wrong. We will always make mistakes. We will always have problems. God does not condemn us when we do. He loves us. We say sorry for our mistakes because we know how good God is and hate it when we make mistakes.