After a certain point that's all you can do. If he's convinced they are mostly hoes then nothing we can say will change his mind.
What's the story about dating?
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I knew that there would be an exception to the rule on this board from some girls. Be advised Sister, I'm not talking about you lol.
I've met plenty of proverbs 31 type women in my lifetime, but I noticed that they were all married already!
After a certain point that's all you can do. If he's convinced they are mostly hoes then nothing we can say will change his mind.
Hey now, would you like to hear a horror story or three about me in the dating world after my divorce but before I warmed up to being single? That stuff having happened implies that, you are right. You wont change my mind about this.
So are you a Brother or a Sister? I had the thought that you are a Brother because of how you talk sometimes. But your post to Carriepie makes me think differently. ??
I'm a guy.
And while I do know a few 304s, they comprise less than 7% of the girls I know. And that counts the people I know at w*rk. 7% is MUCH less than "most." So I have to disagree with you.
Soo...you chase them all out to my area? Lol.
They have everyone so trained to take offense at what others say about others to ourself, then it makes it so a guy can't even talk about people anymore. It might offend someone...It will offend someone! But every girl who reads what I said doesn't have to grasp what I said and staple it to their forehead as if I said it to them.
Cant people understand that there are billions of people on earth? I probably havent even met 1% of the girls on earth but I might say most girls but that is a very loose statement and certainly not literally on earth. It's only literal in my area where I live within the people of that area. So you girls please understand that that was semi-facetious statement. You don't have to think I speak about you! WHy would you do that? I've never met you, I cant and wouldnt talk about you! (Put the gun down!)
In that case you definitely need to move down here. Southwest tennessee. We'll leave the light on for you.
If you let me know when you're coming, I'll bake you some pecan pie and make up a batch of deviled eggs.
Two of my favorites!! However, I don't think I'm allowed to move out from where the Lord sent me (Ohio). WHen I was living in Colorado I never had plans to move to Ohio again where I was born, but the Lord had other plans and told me through an internet Brother in Christ that God told him to tell me to give my business to my son and move to ohio again. As I was sitting there listen to my friend talk and I am thinking, that's not on the table though. I'm not moving to Ohio! so he continues talking about what the Lord said to say to me and he switched to speaking about an area of my life that I had never shared with this man before and I knew he couldn't know these things about me, period! So it was a word of knowledge given to him that was My confirmation that, the message is real and from God. So I had to do what any good Christian boy would do...
I prayed about it and I told the Lord No (facepalm)I didnt want to be in Ohio. So all of a sudden my youtube feed gets flooded with Jonah teachings and I'm not totally stupid so I took the hint and here I am in Ohio. I was here for almost a year and then God's purpose for sending me here became obvious, and as it turned out, I was the only one that could do it or would do it and of course I did. I got handsomely rewarded for my obedience so am I done in Ohio now? I doubt it. God always does the multi layered purposes thing and I can it feel it in my spirit. I'm not free to go! And dont want to either because the Lord is taking good care of me here. He already gave me a house, paid off. Actually I think it is the Lord's house and I merely steward it. It's in the wrong zip code by my standards, lol. But it was the Lord who chose the zipcode and I can't complain. If this house was in Colorado it would easy be a $350K house. But not if it's in this zip code!
Nevertheless, thanks for the invite!
Duly noted that I should never, ever, ever go to ohio. Not if the majority of the girls there are like that. Never. Ever.
Nope nope nope nope
But I should point out, strictly as a point of order, that in your initial ccommentyou said most of the girls in america. That is a lot bigger than your subsequent amendment to just your area. America includes my area, where such is definitely not the case.
I'll put the gun back in the bedside table, but you really need to be careful what size brush you are grabbing when you make comments.
There is WAY more than one exception to that "rule" here on this board.
You are entitled to your opinion and I'm sorry for your negative experiences. But I'm sure the ladies here could all tell their own horror stories, I know that I can.
I generally keep those stories to myself because I don't want to offend my brothers in Christ who would never behave in such a way. For some reason, that courtesy does not go both ways.
I understand needing to vent or genuinely wanting other viewpoints. But throwing out negative statements as if they're confetti DOES affect the ladies in a bad way. We don't see the point in trying if men think that most if us are hoes, Delilahs, Jezebels, gold diggers, "Short by half a carton of eggs" if we pass 30, etc.
So then we become cold and distant because we feel undesirable. And then the men complain that we are cold and distant.
I swear, some men read that women are the weaker vessels and interpret that to mean they should beat on us until we break
.
There is WAY more than one exception to that "rule" here on this board.
You are entitled to your opinion and I'm sorry for your negative experiences. But I'm sure the ladies here could all tell their own horror stories, I know that I can.
I generally keep those stories to myself because I don't want to offend my brothers in Christ who would never behave in such a way. For some reason, that courtesy does not go both ways.
I understand needing to vent or genuinely wanting other viewpoints. But throwing out negative statements as if they're confetti DOES affect the ladies in a bad way. We don't see the point in trying if men think that most if us are hoes, Delilahs, Jezebels, gold diggers, "Short by half a carton of eggs" if we pass 30, etc.
So then we become cold and distant because we feel undesirable. And then the men complain that we are cold and distant.
I swear, some men read that women are the weaker vessels and interpret that to mean they should beat on us until we break
Now that's certainly a valid female viewpoint but have you considered that I wasnt talking to the females here but the males? That's true. No one is trying to break you you poor victim.
Lol of course I considered that.... it was obvious you were only talking to the males. Sometimes I vent about girl things when I'm only around other females.
But the singles forum is not a private guys' chat. Ladies have been allowed to read for a while now, and God wired us to care how others think and feel. It's why we make good helpers but it comes with a downside.... negative input can really affect us.
Lol I know that.... guys seldom TRY to have a negative affect on women, it mostly happens out of cluelessness. God programmed women in such a way that men's words would carry a lot of weight. Yall have more power than you realize, and with great power comes great responsibility. Your words and input can make us or break us.
But I do not say ANY of that to complain or condemn, only to inform. I have enough positive input in my life to balance out the general negativity. I'm not a victim. My concern is more for ladies on here who don't have as much positive input, and also for the future relationships of the guys who don't realize how much weight their words carry.
No worries, Edward.
I can assure you, Snackers is most definitely not a victim.
You would have liked the atmosphere here in Singles several years ago -- I can't remember the specific time frame, but we had a time here when about 4 men in their mid-50's regularly promoted the ideal that Christian men needed to be looking overseas for 20-something "traditional" brides.
I do understand the frustration with Western women. There are several I've met myself whom I wouldn't even want to be friends with, let alone recommend that my male friends date them.
Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, but I think you've written a few posts about having an amazing traditional Asian wife who was influenced by Western culture, and eventually left? I am truly sorry this happened to you.
I've known about 10 international couples throughout the years and while it can certainly be a blessing, I do think it has to be presented with a lot of information that always seems to be left out.
For instance, if the couple comes to the USA, the wife will likely need a way to regularly visit her family, especially if kids are involved. Flying a family or even just her to and from international destinations each year, if not several times a year, is not cheap (I've seen up close the financial strain it brings.) If someone wants a traditional foreign wife, he is most likely going to need to be able to provide the means for her to see the family that gave her those traditions on a regular basis.
One member on CC once had a wife from either Russia or Ukraine (I forget which,) and he said that when they had their first child, she expected for him to pay for her mother to come live with them for at least a year. Apparently, this was a cultural norm/expectation where she had been raised. The husband will also often be expected to send her family money to support aging parents and younger siblings and cousins (which, in many traditional families, means there will be A LOT of them.)
Another couple I once knew consisted of an Americanized Asian man who married a traditional Japanese woman. Unfortunately they divorced, and he would tell me about his ex taking one of their children on a summer trip to Japan (but only one child at a time.)
I finally got brave enough to ask why his wife didn't take both siblings at the same time (wouldn't they both want to see their grandparents together?), and he said, this was the only way he could be at least partially assured that he would get his children back. He had to specifically write this "one child per visit" rule into their divorce clause because Japan is well-known for favoring the Japanese parent. Unless things have changed, Japan does not recognize the divorce laws of other countries.
In several well-documented cases, Japanese parents have taken all or just a favored child back to Japan -- and never came back, because Japanese law makes them almost untouchable once they get home.
Again, I do understand that frustration with "modern" women (it's the equivalent of women saying all men want is sex,) but I do wish that the idea of possibly looking for "traditional" wives in other countries (because Western women have gone crazy) needs to be presented with all of the unique challenges someone looking for a fairytale wife may have never considered.
It's like a lot of the women I know who are saying they're having a hard time finding a good Christian guy -- because they might find a nice one who talks Scripture and Bible lessons all day, wanting to "lead them" -- and then also wants to start exchanging naked pictures over text and phone.
Dating and relationships are frustrating, no matter which side of the fence we're on (do we women have a better chance of finding guys who won't want to send/receive naked pictures if we look overseas?!)
No matter which side of the fence one is on, it's tough, for sure, filled with sadness and frustration for anyone of any gender.
May God help us all.
You mean someone let the girls in?! It was only summer before last that I was a member of the he man woman haters club when the Little Rascals gathered for 1/2 hour. I miss one year in dues and so they voted in girls. Oh look, one is upset already, lol. Females are like Nitroglycerine shake them up a little and they explode!
Just dont think I have anything against girls for real. Girls are some of God's best work! And girls prove that the Lord has one heck of a sense of humor Lol!
So I'm really not trying to offend any of you ladies here on the forum but even I know that the girls that I spoke of are never the type to ever visit a Christian chat board, duh! SO I have to see the humorous side of it for me sanity lol.
No. You don't get away with it that easily. Now you are playing the victim card yourself. "Oh dear me! All I did was make an innocent little remark. Now people are trying to blow up my insignificant little molehill into a gargantuan mountain of reaction!"
You said what you said. It is immortalized on the forum forever. Or at least as long as this forum persists.
If you meant what you said in your initial post, you are definitely wrong. Also you owe an awful lot of really nice ladies a big apology. But my hope for that is waning fast.
If you did not mean what you said in your initial post, why would you say such a thing?! That is not only not the kind of thing you should say lightly, but it is so far from the kind of thing you should say lightly that I can't imagine anybody would say it as a joke.
Either way, trying to act now like everybody is overreacting to your innocent little remark is disingenuous and it will not pass muster.
Also you now owe a separate, personal apology to her. She did not say anything to deserve such a snide remark.
Hi Edward..... I'm not angry, I'm not offended, and I'm definitely not "exploding"
. Dramatic much? 
Like I said, I get the need to vent. Just please consider who is listening. Men actually talk crap about women in general A LOT, rarely does anyone bother to address it because we know 9 times out of 10 the boys won't listen and will just get defensive and emotional. So consider yourself special that I even bothered to try
.
She was a Polish girl born and raised on old poor country farm in Poland. But! She could cook a meal from the gravel in the driveway and could do everything that wives should do sew, make clothes! All that stuff. When she was first here when her whole family immigrated over here back in the early 80's and when she went to high school here is when I met her. She told me the things they teach in the high school here she had in 6th grade in Poland lol.
You got all this right, Lol! They were a big close knit family so when I married her I pretty much had the entire family. They came to Colorado fast when they knew I had a foothold there and 1, 2, 3 and even all four of her siblings lived with us. When they landed they actually moved in next door to us and acted like it was one big house and would just walk in without knocking. Yesiree it was comedy central for a season!
Huh? She took it humorously. That's what happens when they start accepting girl members at the he man woman haters club!! They get offended way too easily. But if she gets offended then I would apologize to her because I'm not trying to upset the girls.
What I should do is stay out of this forum and put a muzzle on myself, lol.
Hi Edward..... I'm not angry, I'm not offended, and I'm definitely not "exploding"
Like I said, I get the need to vent. Just please consider who is listening. Men actually talk crap about women in general A LOT, rarely does anyone bother to address it because we know 9 times out of 10 the boys won't listen and will just get defensive and emotional. So consider yourself special that I even bothered to try
I knew you wasnt offended! (Praise the Lord!)
I think that I need to joke around about it because I pretty much have said I am not looking for a any girls.. And joking about girls helps me to believe that I dont want another wife!
I genuinely apologize for getting her ethnic background wrong -- I appreciate your taking the time to correct my error.
Yes, I think some Western men have a fantasy of finding a traditional foreign wife -- not realizing that this likely means they will be taking on, and supporting, a good number of the family.
It's an interesting counterpoint to Western men feeling that all Western women just want money (which I certainly understand from what the horror stories I've heard from guy friends.) But they don't seem to realize that paying for a traditional wife and the means to keep her connected with the family that gave her all those traditional values is going to be even more expensive.
Not to mention all the time, cost, and absolute stress it can be to get a foreign spouse allowed into the country and able to stay permanently. Even then, they often can't work for a very long time -- years, or maybe not ever -- because of the myriad of additional fees and legal hoops to jump through. So the host spouse may very likely wind up being the only one supporting them for an indefinite amount of time anyway.
All the international couples I've known have gone battled through these challenges, and it wasn't easy on their marriage.
I understand this all too well.
Many of us here have been cut very deeply by breakups and divorce.
We try to tell ourselves we don't need anyone; we try to act aloof because we don't ever want to go through that pain again; we crack jokes and talk about how awful relationships are -- because if we slip up, even for a minute...
We'll be reminded of the immense pain we still carry, and no amount of time, prayer, Bible study, or service seems to make it go away.
I am truly sorry for your pain, Edward.
I will be sure to say a prayer for you.