What makes a "Good Christian"?

[tourist]

uh what do you mean

this forum has new people join all the time
People are coming to faith ALL the time from all different backgrounds all over the world.

its not really for us to keep on judging others when we kinda need to be pulling the mote out of our own eyes.

Newcomer Norm is a fictional character in @seoulsearch post #2.

 

[Lynx]

It doesn't have to be for dating specifically. Simply trying to define what makes a Christian a good Christian or what kind of person we actually have in mind when we talk about a good Christian. Because well it seems so many Christians believe that a good Christian practices their faith exactly like they do despite the known diversity of Chrsitian belief and practice.

Okay, I'm at home now with a real computer that has a real keyboard, and now I know this is about Christians in general, so I can take a shot at answering this question.

Except... I have no idea how to determine if somebody else is a good Christian. I've never needed to evaluate anybody in this area. So I have no idea what data I would need and how I would use it to make a judgment call on whether the person was a good Christian.

Oh well. Maybe somebody in the BDF can help us. They're experts at knowing when somebody is and is not a real Christian.

 

[Lynx]

1) How often does a good Christian attend church services? What does their church involvement look like?
2) What is a good Christian's personal devotional life like?
3) What holiday's does a good Christian celebrate (Puritans thought celebrating Christmas was evil. Some missionaries will try to work the truth of Jesus into existing local holidays)?
4) How much of their time and money does a good Christian give away?
5) How does a good Christian act a restaurant?
6) How does a good Christian respond to other people who are sinning? Does it make a difference if the sinners are acquaintances or strangers? Believers or unbelievers?
7) How does a good Christian interact with unbelievers?
8) What about dating and sexual behavior? How does a good Christian behave on dates? How does a good Christian deal with sexual temptations?
9) Is there a limit to how much money or power a person can have and still be a good Christian?
10) How does a good Christian conduct themselves at work? What policies do they have in place if they own a business and employ other people?

I could answer these questions for myself though. I can't say what anybody else should do with any of them, but I can answer most of them as they relate to me. Would that help any at all?

Nah, didn't think so.

 

[RodB651]

1) How often does a good Christian attend church services? What does their church involvement look like?
I used to think they had to be there every time the doors were open. Maybe a new believer should be there as much as possible, but I really don't have a good answer here. Maybe it depends on the maturity of the believer? Personally I don't go to service every sunday, but I do attend Sunday school. That's just my preference.

2) What is a good Christian's personal devotional life like?
There should be scripture reading/study. Over time they should find devotionals or studies of interest.

3) What holiday's does a good Christian celebrate (Puritans thought celebrating Christmas was evil. Some missionaries will try to work the truth of Jesus into existing local holidays)?
I don't know... I generally avoid church on christian holidays but that's me. I'm much more interested in the holidays mentioned in the bible.

4) How much of their time and money does a good Christian give away?
This is part of any good budget plan. You should give something and you need to figure out for you what that something is. I tithe, not everyone does.

5) How does a good Christian act a restaurant?
In a restaurant, I clean up after myself as best I can. The plates will be stacked and the table wiped off with the unused napkins. That's just me. I don't like leaving a mess on the table.

6) How does a good Christian respond to other people who are sinning? Does it make a difference if the sinners are acquaintances or strangers? Believers or unbelievers?
Unbelievers ... I don't know. They do what they want to do cause that's what they do these days. Honestly I don't know how to answer this because I just don't deal with people very well. As far as believers, again I don't deal with folks well. When I do say something, I say too much.

7) How does a good Christian interact with unbelievers?
The standard answer here is Christ likeness of course. But he's been gone for about 2000 years and over that time, we've handled things thousands of ways that haven't worked very well.

8) What about dating and sexual behavior? How does a good Christian behave on dates? How does a good Christian deal with sexual temptations?
Here's one I might be able to help with. You meet someone, you talk, eventually you sit next to each other, then before you know it, you are holding hands... Then there is the hug you've been waiting for... Then next thing you know... The Kiss.. That one thing right there... Then you start thinking about that... SEX...
So, my suggestion would be just talk... Keep talking... Avoid the holding hands and all that ... Maybe after a few months you could sit and hold hands. Maybe by then you've come to a conclusion about whether the relationship should stop or continue. You both need to say "I do" before you actually do... You know... The thing!

9) Is there a limit to how much money or power a person can have and still be a good Christian?
Depends on the person's maturity I think.

10) How does a good Christian conduct themselves at work? What policies do they have in place if they own a business and employ other people?
Well, you do your job to the best of your ability. You don't falsify your paperwork or reports. You don't steal from the company. Don't lay out of be late on a regular basis. Be an asset and not a liability.

 

[RodB651]

I should have clarified on mine that my answers were not necessarily the answers of a good Christian, but the answers of one trying to figure that out himself.

 

[Lanolin]

Newcomer Norm is a fictional character in @seoulsearch post #2.

newcomer norm probably doesnt know all that much if he's only just said the sinners prayer.
The natural man doesnt understand spiritual matters.

Also theres quite a difference between religious christians and more fundamental and born again types. And what about those annoying tongue talking ones they dont shut up either lol

And then theres weird ones that name themselves after moisturiser.

though I am considering finding the answer of every ten of these questions with scripture cos I wouldnt know what *I* would do in every situation but the Bible will always give wisdom on what someone with faith will do!

 

[Lanolin]

For those who missed it, I got into a discussion in another thread about how we needed to become more specific when looking for a partner than just saying we want a godly or good Christian partner, but we should actually put some specifics to that. So for all those who want to date and possibly marry a good Christian. Here are some questions to think about and discuss both in what you mean by good Christian partner and maybe for the brave and brutally honest, to compare your answers with your actual behavior to see if you meet your own definition of good Christian:

1) How often does a good Christian attend church services? What does their church involvement look like?
2) What is a good Christian's personal devotional life like?
3) What holiday's does a good Christian celebrate (Puritans thought celebrating Christmas was evil. Some missionaries will try to work the truth of Jesus into existing local holidays)?
4) How much of their time and money does a good Christian give away?
5) How does a good Christian act a restaurant?
6) How does a good Christian respond to other people who are sinning? Does it make a difference if the sinners are acquaintances or strangers? Believers or unbelievers?
7) How does a good Christian interact with unbelievers?
8) What about dating and sexual behavior? How does a good Christian behave on dates? How does a good Christian deal with sexual temptations?
9) Is there a limit to how much money or power a person can have and still be a good Christian?
10) How does a good Christian conduct themselves at work? What policies do they have in place if they own a business and employ other people?

Ok that's enough for starters. Answers will vary and some people will be wrong ( I'm reminded of the scene in Ivanhoe where the most evil of the knights who is holding our protagonists hostage with plans to kill them tells the priest who comes to give them the last rites, " I am a good Christian") but this is mostly to get us thinking and talking about what we think of when we think of a good Christian.

1) Hebrews 10:25
2) Matthew 6:6
3) Romans 14:5-6
4) Acts 3:6
5) 1 Corinthians 10:31
6) Matthew 18:15, Galatians 6:1, Ephesians 5:11
7) 2 Corinthans 6:14
8) 1 Corinthians 7 (just read the whole chapter)
9) Matthew 19: 16-22
10) Ephesians 6:5-9

ok there you go

thats a lot of questions though.
sorry I dont have time to type out each and every scripture but you can just look them up with the reference.

 

[Subhumanoidal]

As someone said a little earlier, there are no good people, hence no good Christians. We're all sinners, and that's the take away from the faith. We all do things that are sins and will continue to do so. Jesus that people were going to falter, and it's the reason that He had said to love and forgive one and other. Accept you're a sinner, bear and take up your cross, and follow Him.

All these questions seem redundant to even ask because we know how we should act out in public and we know how to celebrate holidays. If you wish to celebrate Halloween, go ahead, but just don't worship Satan and promote evil. If you want to have an alcoholic beverage, knock yourself out. Jesus drank wine because He enjoyed it. There's wrong with enjoying things like that, but just don't become an alcoholic. In other words, don't let that be the center of your life. Jesus also hung out with non-believers and made them believers through His Word and action. So there's nothing wrong with making them friends, but make sure not to be tempted into things that go against God's Word.

Basically everything asked here should have already been addressed from our parents/family members/foster-parents/guardians raising us. You KNOW how to act. The only thing here to ask do you CHOOSE to follow through on what you've been taught? Sexual immorality is something to avoid, but many people CHOOSE it anyway, Christian AND non-Christian. In other words, you CHOOSE to sin to make yourself feel better, even though it will cause more damage to yourself and the person(s) in front of you. That's part of the reason why we should avoid sin as much as what we can, but we're weak.

Same things can be made about dating. I see some on here that didn't like my last thread I made on here, which is fine, but this is where I was going with it:

For the men, do you choose to give into following the advice of others that don't even follow it themselves? They say we have to put on a song and dance for women in order to attract them. The answer to that is no you don't. They say personality is also what you need, so be yourself. It helps, but that's only partially true. You need to have some sort of physical appeal. Nothing overly sexual, and that's not where I'm going with this either. Dieting, working out, dressing better, and how you hold yourself up ARE part one on how to attract a woman. You're showing that you care for yourself enough that you took the initiative to look better, giving off a vibe that you want to be taken seriously. I noticed that when I was dating. The people I was with treated more like a mature adult rather than a kid. Dress like a slob or too goofy looking when you're noticeably out of shape, than they don't. And let's not play games here, women go for the guys that are attractive. David, before he became king of Israel, was described as a good looking man, which means he took care of himself, and he was also described as a man after God's own heart. So long as we stay faithful to God, there's nothing wrong with looking good, and feels great when someone, especially women, says we do. Only question is do you want to go that route?

For women, are you looking for a man that strives to do good and has standards and preferences based on their faith, or do you desire men who are selfish and will only go out with you to have bedroom fun? You listen to those that, more or less, tell you that a custom made man, by your own design, is the only thing that matters. Sure, the things you're looking for are great, but why go over the top with some of these other unnecessary qualities? And why force onto other men that may not possess them? That makes no sense whatsoever. I understand there are men that do that, but there's no need to do it yourselves. If you like a man the way he is, then allow him to take you out. Chances are good that he's not perfect, but you're not either. That's okay though because if he's a caring person towards you and others, that he means well, and he has given his life to Christ, that should be enough. And if you do want to be with him, you HAVE to allow him to lead. As a ballroom dancer, it's vital that the lead leads. Otherwise, the routine won't work. This also symbolizes and honors what Christ does for His people: He leads and we follow. Remember that.

All this, though is where we get into trouble as Christians and trying to have people believing in the truth. Many of us who proclaim ourselves as followers in Christ come off as arrogant, condescending, and extremely judgmental. Many of those same Christians don't take the time to sit and LISTEN to what's happening in a non-believer's life. Instead, we jump in so quickly to condemn them rather gather all the facts and information about these people. Being civil towards them seems like a task at times. Christ took it upon Himself to hear out what these people had to say. He gave truths, but was never harsh nor condescending towards these people. In place of that, He gave solutions, which led to real hope. That's how He was able to make friends out of them. So don't try to be perfect nor put on that persona that you are because you're not. But if people see that you're just as vulnerable as everyone else, while standing strong in your faith, people will come to you. Even though we're not entirely good, there's nothing wrong with trying to do good.

You're speaking as if all Christians believe the same. That is absolutely not true. Xmas for example, some believe it is a holy holiday, some think it's not so much holy, but still acceptable while others think celebrating it is basically pagan worship and no Christian should ever do it.
Same with Halloween. Some try to make it Christian by calling it, what, something about harvest, some simply celebrate it, as is, some may celebrate it, but avoid anything overtly evil and some will see it as pagan and not to be touched.
So you started your post off with untrue statements. Not all Christians view holidays the same, therefore these are not redundant questions.

I saw a group of Christians protesting a mega-church. One of the churches attendees became so engaged she attempted to assault one of the protesters, right there on the street, and had to be dragged away literally kicking and screaming. Not all Christians know how to act in public.

I saw no reason to read further.

 

[herkamer63]

You're speaking as if all Christians believe the same. That is absolutely not true. Xmas for example, some believe it is a holy holiday, some think it's not so much holy, but still acceptable while others think celebrating it is basically pagan worship and no Christian should ever do it.
Same with Halloween. Some try to make it Christian by calling it, what, something about harvest, some simply celebrate it, as is, some may celebrate it, but avoid anything overtly evil and some will see it as pagan and not to be touched.
So you started your post off with untrue statements. Not all Christians view holidays the same, therefore these are not redundant questions.

I saw a group of Christians protesting a mega-church. One of the churches attendees became so engaged she attempted to assault one of the protesters, right there on the street, and had to be dragged away literally kicking and screaming. Not all Christians know how to act in public.

I saw no reason to read further.

You blew off what I wrote up on here, and you're proving my point on how many people who proclaim themselves to be Christians are looked at as judgmental and people will paint ALL Christians and our faith as such. Seriously, you just didn't read it at all. Either that or you don't understand what I was getting that, even though I made it perfectly clear so I guess I better repeat myself and clarify a few things because, wow, you think you're someone who's holier than thou:

If you want to celebrate a holiday. like Halloween, go ahead. If you want to celebrate Christmas, knock your self out. If you want to have an alcoholic beverage, go and enjoy it if that's what you want. If you want to listen to Casting Crowns, by all means do so. If you want to listen to Metallica, go ahead. If you don't want to do any of this, that's fine. If you want to do any of this, that's fine.

The point I'm making here is it comes down to CHOICE. Halloween can be a slippery slope, and even around Christmas time because of the Winter Solstice can be questionable, especially with how people celebrate and almost worship the time itself while there is no mention of Christ nor anything that honors His birth. Alcohol can be dangerous because it can make you become an alcoholic, if you're not careful. Being a drunkard is a sin after all, but Jesus drank wine and never became one. But if people CHOOSE to do celebrate this kind of stuff or even engage in whatever it substance they are taking in, they know they have to be careful.

Taking it a step further, relying on medications, prescribed or over the counter, to take care of their health is a major risk. Honestly, some can make the case that this can be even MORE dangerous than the other things mentioned because you're putting your faith into something that is not guaranteed. I work in the health field, and I can't tell you how many people have lists of 20+ medications and they are the most unhealthy people I've seen with the conditions they developed rather than being born with. Much of it they don't need because most of their problems revolve around being extremely over weight and simply not getting the proper nutrients they need.

They even go as far as ignoring the doctor's orders, such as dieting correctly, exercising, and taking the right health supplements. Instead, these people demand they get medicated because they don't want to put forth the extra work, and it's not much. They know it isn't going to get them any better, or at least they should know, but they choose it anyway. If that's the path they want to walk, they can go ahead and do it, knowing the consequences if they're not careful.

The choices should be up to the people. One question that's asked a lot is why doesn't God just fix the problems? He doesn't want to take away any of our free will. That's the extent of His love for us. We will make bad decisions and good decisions. However, one of the greatest evils out there is forcing people to do one thing or the other. Since you're implying that I'm evil or wicked, which I don't know how I am, or even promoting it, I guess it's fair game to say that YOU ARE promoting evil by trying to shame me into submission because I dare to say that it comes down to choice. I would people freely come to God rather be forced to do so.

You talk about the protest at a mega church and one of the people from that church attacking them, what were the protesters doing to provoke that? Were disrupting the service? Were they throwing out insults? Did they destroy property that isn't their's? Did they throw the first punch at the mega church attendees? I'm not saying what the person did was right, but something provoked it. And as much as mega churches may not seem to be the most authentic, but unless if they are truly doing something wicked, like abortions, stealing money from other people forcefully, or even sexually assaulting people, we should just leave them alone. We're choosing to give them more power by giving them attention. On the flip side, if mega churches ARE doing something good, like bringing people to Christ, I'd say that's God at work. They may or may not have everything right, but if it helps get people on the path to do their own homework on The Word, I have no problem with it. But, once again it comes down to choice of whether or not people want to attend these mega churches.

In conclusion, you can read all you want, but you need to take time to understand what's being said. You were quick to judge without any thought behind it. Again, you are proving my point, and if you really are a follower in Christ, you should already know that free will and allowing people to choose is critical. Without it, we're no better than those that do want to do us harm.

 

[cinder]

Taking it a step further, relying on medications, prescribed or over the counter, to take care of their health is a major risk. Honestly, some can make the case that this can be even MORE dangerous than the other things mentioned because you're putting your faith into something that is not guaranteed. I work in the health field, and I can't tell you how many people have lists of 20+ medications and they are the most unhealthy people I've seen with the conditions they developed rather than being born with. Much of it they don't need because most of their problems revolve around being extremely over weight and simply not getting the proper nutrients they need.

They even go as far as ignoring the doctor's orders, such as dieting correctly, exercising, and taking the right health supplements. Instead, these people demand they get medicated because they don't want to put forth the extra work, and it's not much. They know it isn't going to get them any better, or at least they should know, but they choose it anyway. If that's the path they want to walk, they can go ahead and do it, knowing the consequences if they're not careful.

And here I thought that everyone working on the medical side of the health field was aware that pretty much all the continuing ed available to doctors is sponsored by pharmaceutical companies (and sometimes junk food manufacturers) and is heavily biased towards prescribing drugs. So much so that the last doctor I had didn't even talk to me about eating right or exercising but just said try to lose some weight (Which was pretty outrageous since i was seeing her for a condition that made it harder to lose weight to begin with and gee if I had strategies that worked for me to lose weight don't you think I would have succeeded already) and here's the list of meds I want to start you on. And I grew to see her as basically a legalized drug dealer and found an alternative to the one prescription medication that I could agree I needed (and the labs to monitor what needed to be monitored) and basically fired that doctor.

We could get into the fact that the obesity epidemic pretty much parallels the time when the government started teaching people what healthy eating is (and the statistics say by and large people did follow it). And our dietary guidelines haven't really ever been scientifically verified. But seems like trying to have a discussion with you quickly devolves into a pretty fruitless argument. Like you hold your own limited experience as completely definitive and anyone sharing a different experience must not understand reality.

 

[herkamer63]

And here I thought that everyone working on the medical side of the health field was aware that pretty much all the continuing ed available to doctors is sponsored by pharmaceutical companies (and sometimes junk food manufacturers) and is heavily biased towards prescribing drugs. So much so that the last doctor I had didn't even talk to me about eating right or exercising but just said try to lose some weight (Which was pretty outrageous since i was seeing her for a condition that made it harder to lose weight to begin with and gee if I had strategies that worked for me to lose weight don't you think I would have succeeded already) and here's the list of meds I want to start you on. And I grew to see her as basically a legalized drug dealer and found an alternative to the one prescription medication that I could agree I needed (and the labs to monitor what needed to be monitored) and basically fired that doctor.

We could get into the fact that the obesity epidemic pretty much parallels the time when the government started teaching people what healthy eating is (and the statistics say by and large people did follow it). And our dietary guidelines haven't really ever been scientifically verified. But seems like trying to have a discussion with you quickly devolves into a pretty fruitless argument. Like you hold your own limited experience as completely definitive and anyone sharing a different experience must not understand reality.

Or it could be you bring nothing to the table, which, again, proves my points of what I said earlier, about being condescending and you not hearing the answer you wanted to hear but rather needed to hear. In addition to that, you seem extremely offended that I even bring this up. My "limited" experience has taught me that there are people who proclaim to be Christians and list off all these things that would require us to be good followers, but then when presented with something from someone who IS a Christian and who HAS experienced life far more than you can imagine. And based on that same experience, I don't believe you are who you proclaim yourself to be.

You can say the same about me, and that's fine. However, you're talking to someone who has experienced rejection after taking the advice of others like yourself. It all sounds good, up until reality hits. It's like the pharisees. You say how to live life, based on God's Word, but you never actually follow up on it. In addition to that, you throw in worldly teachings that distorts the truth of what God actually would like to see from us.

Just like the jab at me working in the health field. Sorry that you had a bad doctor, but that's where you really need to take the initiative to make yourself healthy. Ultimately, it's STILL up to you to make the choice. And if you're making a choice to continue to go see a bad doctor, knowing they didn't help, that's on you. And I don't know why you're implying I'm suggesting to listen to the government as far as being healthy. Never did I say that, and it seems like you have nothing more than petty, childish attacks to go against me.

I think you're not happy with me because I called out this false rhetoric that you're putting out there, like on dating. Based on my "limited" experience, "good Christian" women say they want a man who is good and has given his life to Christ, but always end up with the opposite. It's not just me say it. Talk to any normal man who IS good and they will tell you how many times they went through this. Sure, rejection is a part of dating, but they see hypocrisy coming from many of today's women when they say that they want good men, only to see these women go out with horrible men, and they know that they are. The fact that you don't want to look into it shows willful ignorance. It's sad, but hey, if you don't want to debate any further because I sound like a reprobate, that's fine. But I know what's true and what isn't, and don't appreciate that you're trying to put words in my mouth or imply these things about me.

 

[Lynx]

Or it could be you bring nothing to the table, which, again, proves my points of what I said earlier, about being condescending and you not hearing the answer you wanted to hear but rather needed to hear. In addition to that, you seem extremely offended that I even bring this up. My "limited" experience has taught me that there are people who proclaim to be Christians and list off all these things that would require us to be good followers, but then when presented with something from someone who IS a Christian and who HAS experienced life far more than you can imagine. And based on that same experience, I don't believe you are who you proclaim yourself to be.

If you had any idea who you were talking to and all the places she has been in the world, you would not assume any of these things about her. Your much vaunted experience is dwarfed.

Search the forums about all the mission trips cinder has taken so far, and all the different countries she has lived in so far. That might give you a little perspective.

 

[cinder]

Well I suppose I should make an attempt to answer all those good questions I asked (and quite possibly convict myself in the process):

1) How often does a good Christian attend church services? What does their church involvement look like?
I'm going to set my standard as some sort of weekly or nearly weekly Christian fellowship focused on doing churchy stuff. Bible study and teaching, praying, encouraging one another etc. My disillusionment with most Sunday morning church services means that I would accept a good Sunday school class or Bible study in lieu of traditional Sunday morning church, though I'd have concerns with someone who just did house church with a couple buddies and had no broader accountability or collective oversight.

2) What is a good Christian's personal devotional life like?
Well I fail in this, but my ideal would be a brief (15 - 30 minutes) focused time of daily Bible reading and prayer. And yet that's really just legalistically scratching the surface of what it looks like to live a life where God is a priority in your life.

3) What holiday's does a good Christian celebrate (Puritans thought celebrating Christmas was evil. Some missionaries will try to work the truth of Jesus into existing local holidays)?
I believe Christians should be pro-celebration of what is good, whether it is religious or not. Most holidays can fit this, though some have elements of evil that can and should be avoided.

4) How much of their time and money does a good Christian give away?
This is another question I ask because I don't have a good concrete answer. I think a tithe is a great starting place and would question why whether they think of it as tithing or not; a believer doesn't give at least 10% (assuming they actually have enough income to keep food on the table and a roof over their heads). Time is a tough one for me because I feel like it's very hard to be generous with my time with all the responsibilities of adulting, but have to admit that I seem to have little problem giving lots of time away to the TV. Ideally I think a good Christian should find a way to give at least a couple hours a week to do something to support causes they believe in (even if it's just cleaning the church bathrooms or folding bullitens or helping organize funeral dinners or writing encouraging notes to people who need some encouragement). Right now I'm not living up to that.

5) How does a good Christian act a restaurant?
One of the saddest things I ever read or heard about Chrsitians was that waitresses have found that the after church lunch groups are some of the worst tippers. So yeah tipping generously (if you can't afford to tip you can't afford to go out there), being understanding about challenges, and not taking out on the waitress problems that she has no control over. If you can't treat servers and other service employees well and like people, you aren't a very good Christian.

6) How does a good Christian respond to other people who are sinning? Does it make a difference if the sinners are acquaintances or strangers? Believers or unbelievers?
I'm quite sick of Christians who shower judgement on strangers to make sure they know how wrong they are. But I also don't want to act like sin is no big deal when it is (nor do I want to be one of those who seems to have decided rather conveniently that all of the really really bad sins are the ones I'm not at all tempted to). Usually I take the perspective of I need a reason / justification to get involved and often that depends on relationship. So I don't know that I think Christians need to be the culture warriors getting in strangers faces because they do wrong, but I do think we have a responsibility to call into question sin in the lives of those we know and help them take a good serious look at it. But always with genuine concern for the person and their well being rather than being upset that they are doing something bad.

7) How does a good Christian interact with unbelievers?
I think I'll just quote myself: always with genuine concern for the person and their well being rather than being upset that they are doing something bad. Beyond that remember that they (or at least most of them) are messed up, hurting people who are just trying to find significance and security in life. I firmly believe that the Christian stereotypes of unbelievers as deliberately intentionally rebellious or some sort of evil enemy that sits around plotting how to undermine your faith are extremely harmful and do very little good.

8) What about dating and sexual behavior? How does a good Christian behave on dates? How does a good Christian deal with sexual temptations?
That's complicated and that, along with the fact that I'm not sure I've met anyone who really had a good coherent answer is a lot of why I don't date. But the one thing that God seems to have impressed upon me at a young age was that love means more than I really really want. To say you love someone is the start of a commitment to do them good not harm and to want the best for them even if it means you miss out (most vividly brought home when God decided to bring my crush's future wife into his life and I wasn't done crushing on him yet (and yes I think she's made a better parnter for him than I ever would have been)). So I definitely think that love starts by holding the loved one in an open hand, with near deadly force in the other to protect that which is loved.
I'd hope that if I ever do end up dating someone, I would conduct myself in such a way that the guy could always look back on the relationship and consider knowing me a blessing and a huge benefit, even if we ended up concluding that we didn't belong together. And that would include reserving sex for marriage and not playing any of those how close can we get to the line separating ok and not ok behavior without going over games.

9) Is there a limit to how much money or power a person can have and still be a good Christian?
Maybe we should ask David or Solomon. It seems inevitable that after a certain level of wealth and power people will criticize. But I also kind of see for myself (if I had descendants it might be different) that after attaining a certain level of wealth or power there wouldn't be much benefit to more. So I think when either is seen as an end in itself instead of a means to bringing benefit, probably time to check yourself and see where your values are.

10) How does a good Christian conduct themselves at work? What policies do they have in place if they own a business and employ other people?

John the Baptist had some great advice in this department. Things like be content with your pay, don't abuse any power you have, etc. Mostly just do what you're getting paid to do. Don't steal from your employer (by cheating on time cards, taking long breaks, taking supplies or product you aren't entitled to). For Christian employers, I think it would have a lot to do with appreciating your employees and seeing them as people with lives and needs that go beyond work. I'm a big fan of profit sharing and employee owned companies but I've never had to do the work to figure out how to administer that well (and I imagine there would be some tricky parts).

Well that took a really long time, and if nothing else I'm convicted of writing threads that ask for too much of people's time at once to respond to. To correct this feel free to choose one or two questions at a time to answer.

 

[Lanolin]

Paul exhorts - examine yourself see if you are in the faith. 2 corinthians 13

Its not a bad thing to do, though to insist that OTHERS do it so you can then cross-examine them in order to find a partner or spouse isnt the point (people will marry who they wanna marry, a lot of people are not that picky about who, just as long as its someone...)

nor is it that you will find answers just because you think of yourself as a 'good christian' because as said before, nobody is good except for God. If you have a question, ask it of God.

Though the 10 question thing is probably a bit too much for people who really arent expecting to have to pass an exam to be a 'good christian'

Though its been years since I have done an official exam, I think people are more inclined to take the test or prove themselves if the format is multichoice.

 

[mindfulzen]

sorry I just have this reaction when people talk about 'good christians' because Jesus was like why do you call me good...nobody is good except for God.

And He was right.

A play on Jesse Lee Peterson I see, but some people are good. It is not hard to be a good christian, just so few who choose to be that. It is just a folly if you decide you are good enough and stop doing the work, which some do. Up to you.

 

[mindfulzen]

For those who missed it, I got into a discussion in another thread about how we needed to become more specific when looking for a partner than just saying we want a godly or good Christian partner, but we should actually put some specifics to that. So for all those who want to date and possibly marry a good Christian. Here are some questions to think about and discuss both in what you mean by good Christian partner and maybe for the brave and brutally honest, to compare your answers with your actual behavior to see if you meet your own definition of good Christian:

1) How often does a good Christian attend church services? What does their church involvement look like?
2) What is a good Christian's personal devotional life like?
3) What holiday's does a good Christian celebrate (Puritans thought celebrating Christmas was evil. Some missionaries will try to work the truth of Jesus into existing local holidays)?
4) How much of their time and money does a good Christian give away?
5) How does a good Christian act a restaurant?
6) How does a good Christian respond to other people who are sinning? Does it make a difference if the sinners are acquaintances or strangers? Believers or unbelievers?
7) How does a good Christian interact with unbelievers?
8) What about dating and sexual behavior? How does a good Christian behave on dates? How does a good Christian deal with sexual temptations?
9) Is there a limit to how much money or power a person can have and still be a good Christian?
10) How does a good Christian conduct themselves at work? What policies do they have in place if they own a business and employ other people?

Ok that's enough for starters. Answers will vary and some people will be wrong ( I'm reminded of the scene in Ivanhoe where the most evil of the knights who is holding our protagonists hostage with plans to kill them tells the priest who comes to give them the last rites, " I am a good Christian") but this is mostly to get us thinking and talking about what we think of when we think of a good Christian.

1. 0-everyday
2. I do not know.
3. Christmas and easter as far as I know.
4. I do not know. Not awere of any requirements here, appreciate if you have new info. None is required as far as I know.
5. No clue, eats the food and pays I guess.

6. Of course it matters if the sinners are aqaintaces or not, if they are not, pay no mind. If they are, give guidence or not. Be truthful is all,
7. Tell the truth.
8. Marry before sex
9. No
10. I do not know, guess they just do their job while at work, and accept the fact that yourself disappears for 8 hours, while they are a tool of the employer.

Why the obsession about what a good christian is, relating to others? You seem to miss your personal relationship with God, the focus is on you, and if you are doing it right, not about going about moaning about others doing wrong. Can you not be for yourself? Do you think that you need to judge others is your path to heaven? Wrong path. God judge, we don't, want to emulate Christ, forgive, and let them be judged by God. Easypeasy. Do not overcomplicate faith, it is just about trust, and having a guiding light in your life, should not be hard.

 

[cinder]

Why the obsession about what a good christian is, relating to others? You seem to miss your personal relationship with God, the focus is on you, and if you are doing it right, not about going about moaning about others doing wrong. Can you not be for yourself? Do you think that you need to judge others is your path to heaven? Wrong path. God judge, we don't, want to emulate Christ, forgive, and let them be judged by God. Easypeasy. Do not overcomplicate faith, it is just about trust, and having a guiding light in your life, should not be hard.

I think you missed the whole point of this thread. It's not about judgement, but definition. And while I'll agree that we can overcomplicate what God asks of us, God is pretty complex so I wonder if our human minds can overcomplicate God. I suppose there are aspects to God we just can't grasp (but still try to) just like we can't accurately conceive of a universe with 6 dimensions.

But as to the we're not supposed to judge: I'll agree it's not our place to decide that anyone is beyond redemption and God working in their lives, but the Bible itself says we're supposed to exercise judgement in the church (see 1 Corinthians 5 and 6). So determining and discussing what are the lived out proofs that it is the Christian faith that is active in someone ( whole book of James is about faith is shown and demonstrated by works; they don't save us but if we're not motivated to live in ways that reflect God then there's something wrong).

Also a few posts ago I answered all of these questions. Not sure if you saw that or not so I'll mention it for reference if you want to actually know my thought process in all of this.

 

[mindfulzen]

I think you missed the whole point of this thread. It's not about judgement, but definition. And while I'll agree that we can overcomplicate what God asks of us, God is pretty complex so I wonder if our human minds can overcomplicate God. I suppose there are aspects to God we just can't grasp (but still try to) just like we can't accurately conceive of a universe with 6 dimensions.

But as to the we're not supposed to judge: I'll agree it's not our place to decide that anyone is beyond redemption and God working in their lives, but the Bible itself says we're supposed to exercise judgement in the church (see 1 Corinthians 5 and 6). So determining and discussing what are the lived out proofs that it is the Christian faith that is active in someone ( whole book of James is about faith is shown and demonstrated by works; they don't save us but if we're not motivated to live in ways that reflect God then there's something wrong).

Also a few posts ago I answered all of these questions. Not sure if you saw that or not so I'll mention it for reference if you want to actually know my thought process in all of this.

Did not miss anything. God is not complex. You overcomplicate if you do. You decide for you. Judge if you want, I do not. Decide for yourself. If you are honest, you know I only throw out the old testament, and it is not about judging you, it is about judging me, and you choose for yourself. You do a personal pah for you, if you seek. Or if you have been lead to it.

 

[Subhumanoidal]

Or it could be you bring nothing to the table, which, again, proves my points of what I said earlier, about being condescending and you not hearing the answer you wanted to hear but rather needed to hear. In addition to that, you seem extremely offended that I even bring this up. My "limited" experience has taught me that there are people who proclaim to be Christians and list off all these things that would require us to be good followers, but then when presented with something from someone who IS a Christian and who HAS experienced life far more than you can imagine. And based on that same experience, I don't believe you are who you proclaim yourself to be.

You can say the same about me, and that's fine. However, you're talking to someone who has experienced rejection after taking the advice of others like yourself. It all sounds good, up until reality hits. It's like the pharisees. You say how to live life, based on God's Word, but you never actually follow up on it. In addition to that, you throw in worldly teachings that distorts the truth of what God actually would like to see from us.

Just like the jab at me working in the health field. Sorry that you had a bad doctor, but that's where you really need to take the initiative to make yourself healthy. Ultimately, it's STILL up to you to make the choice. And if you're making a choice to continue to go see a bad doctor, knowing they didn't help, that's on you. And I don't know why you're implying I'm suggesting to listen to the government as far as being healthy. Never did I say that, and it seems like you have nothing more than petty, childish attacks to go against me.

I think you're not happy with me because I called out this false rhetoric that you're putting out there, like on dating. Based on my "limited" experience, "good Christian" women say they want a man who is good and has given his life to Christ, but always end up with the opposite. It's not just me say it. Talk to any normal man who IS good and they will tell you how many times they went through this. Sure, rejection is a part of dating, but they see hypocrisy coming from many of today's women when they say that they want good men, only to see these women go out with horrible men, and they know that they are. The fact that you don't want to look into it shows willful ignorance. It's sad, but hey, if you don't want to debate any further because I sound like a reprobate, that's fine. But I know what's true and what isn't, and don't appreciate that you're trying to put words in my mouth or imply these things about me.

You're divisive and arrogant then have the nerve to put others down.
And as a non-Christian myself I know full well how Christians are viewed. And often times it's people like you that turn people away. But, no doubt, you'll find a reason to disagree and argue rather than learn anything about how you come across.

 

[Desdichado]

Simple. Revel in the freedom of God's grace while staying obedient.