What we see in ourselves and the way we see ourselves is not often the way others see us. What we think should work or is good may not be... or, we may have those traits that are indeed good, but are blind to other intolerable faults -- no matter how much someone may point them out to us. And, those things keep us single.
Sometimes, I also think God just says 'no'. So, no matter what you do, you will not succeed.
I was thinking something along those very lines.
I used to be the kind of guy that was the "straight-gay" friend. I no longer need to be that and won't be. Has it gotten me hitched? No. Nothing I've done has. I either have one of those intolerable faults or God has simply said 'no' (must be the latter, since I am otherwise too wonderful
which I say with all due humility). But, one thing I do have is a little more self-respect than I had in my 20s. And, if I see you as a
woman and not merely as a platonic friend, I will not accept you as the latter.
I don't know if this answers your post in any kind of helpful way.