Very General; What it Takes to Have a Good Marriage

[Williejay1975]

It is apparent from what I learned and seen each time that if you notice a person is not talking about what is good all the time (God ... against very bad) then that is the wrong person to be CLOSE with. It also takes two people wanting to have a good relationship; which over here in the USA is rare. And the last thing which is rarer and takes is at least one of the people in the mate partnership working on or knowing how to have a good relationship. Just because two people serve God does not mean they will have a good relationship; they must know how to have a good relationship too.

 

[Pureness]

I never been married yet, but if I had to guess I would say Honesty is the key to a healthy successful marriage.

 

[iTheophilus]

Commitment

 

[fish8jonah]

My wife and I followed "The Marriage Course" (general name(!) but it was one that was run through our church).

One of the messages I took home was how to deal with things (problems and difficulties, but also our relationship) as a couple. It was explained by not putting things between us (it drives as apart) but putting them in front of us so that we can talk about them and work on them together.

It works well for us, but I can imagine that other couples will have other 'secrets' to success!

 

[tourist]

I never been married yet, but if I had to guess I would say Honesty is the key to a healthy successful marriage.

One of the foundation blocks for sure.

 

[tourist]

Commitment

Absolutely.

 

[EmilyNats]

Use logic first, then feelings second feelings to pick who you make a commitment to. It doesn't matter how much you feel like you love someone, if they are not compatible with your lifestyle/core values, it's eventually going to be rough.

 

[Lizzy]

I was very happily married for over 30 years and my husband passed away 7 years ago. I can tell you that we had the most wonderful, loving, fun, exciting marraige . I can tell you that in our marraige there was God, complete trust, amazing love and lust for each other, consideration for each other, emotional support, lots of fun, loyalty, and after our four daughters were born, all of this continued and magnified. We decided in the beginning of our relationship that we would be honest with each other, always respectful, even if we disagreed, we would never yell at each other or say anything we couldn't take back. I always told him how i felt about stuff or what i was concerned about. JUST TALK!!! Your spouse cannot READ YOUR MIND!! Be considerate. Love them and appreciate them. Tell them that you appreciate them. Kiss them alot. Dance together. Write them love notes. All those things. And when your kids grow up and they meet their partners, they will look for someone with those qualities because they will witness your love. God was very, very good and generous to give me that man for so many beautiful years. Someday when God sends someone my way, I want another beautiful relationship. And I know those amazing marraiges are the real deal. I won't settle for less.

 

[arpon]

I am not married yet so I don't know much about it. But I know one thing - knowing is nothing if I don't have the mindset to apply what I know in any relationship.
Christian relationship works if-
1) Goal is same(To honor God always)- (If ones primary Goal is to honor God and ones primary Goal is to support family in anyway than problem might occur)
2) Mindset of accepting negative and positive from the partner to grow partner and self. (Most people exclude the part negative which is very very very bad.)
3) To really work on relationship(It can be vary from couple to couple according to the personality type.)

 

[MatthewWestfieldUK]

I was very happily married for over 30 years and my husband passed away 7 years ago. I can tell you that we had the most wonderful, loving, fun, exciting marraige . I can tell you that in our marraige there was God, complete trust, amazing love and lust for each other, consideration for each other, emotional support, lots of fun, loyalty, and after our four daughters were born, all of this continued and magnified. We decided in the beginning of our relationship that we would be honest with each other, always respectful, even if we disagreed, we would never yell at each other or say anything we couldn't take back. I always told him how i felt about stuff or what i was concerned about. JUST TALK!!! Your spouse cannot READ YOUR MIND!! Be considerate. Love them and appreciate them. Tell them that you appreciate them. Kiss them alot. Dance together. Write them love notes. All those things. And when your kids grow up and they meet their partners, they will look for someone with those qualities because they will witness your love. God was very, very good and generous to give me that man for so many beautiful years. Someday when God sends someone my way, I want another beautiful relationship. And I know those amazing marraiges are the real deal. I won't settle for less.

The dream scenario u describe is what many of us fight to achieve, but sometimes the will/effort of one side is just not enough to keep the boat afloat. Now I am just trying to battle the bitterness and guilt

 

[MatthewWestfieldUK]

Suggest that you expect the path to be an uphill hike. Where there is effort from genuine motivation, there will be success.
The honesty mentioned above, and logic, is key,but must be practiced with soft tongue, not aggressive behaviour

 

[arpon]

+ I want to add another thing with my previous comment. If anybody wants to be real Christian, but at the same time want to give priority only to outward look. this person do not want to grow. So if this kind of person marry someone real Christian- this person will be a burden. People who want to grow in relationship think about his mates need more about self's need. But it should be of both side not one side. If a couple can do that, possibility of good marriage really increase being or not being a Christian.

 

[JesusLives]

Communication is a very good start, God in the relationship is a key, respect, and willing to give the relationship 100%. There is no 50/50.. either you are all in or you're not. Willing to listen and I repeat willing to listen when your spouse is voicing a concern and willing to work together to get things done.

Marriage is not all pie in the sky and lovey dovey all the time. You will have disagreements and you won't always be happy, but when you respect and love each other you take the time to work things out and get over the hard parts and there will be hard parts.

Thing will go well also and take the time to enjoy each other when things are going well. Dance a little, laugh a little, smile and enjoy the sunshine. Even sitting on the porch in the sun can be fun and enjoyable when you are doing it together.

Marriage goes through stages too, the honeymoon phase, the settled in phase, the raise the kids phase, the pay the bills, work to support it all phase, the empty nest phase and the part I like best.... the sit on the porch and enjoy the sunshine/retirement phase. Or the twilight phase when everything is slowing down and the someone is left alone phase... cause we don't live forever....

But if you can make it through all the phases then you have managed to have a happy marriage in general....just always remember that you need God in all the phases and to help you through the rough spots and the fun spots.....and when you are both committed to each other 100% the all in commitment it makes it so much easier to do it together....

 

[HeartShapedGuitar]

Communication is a very good start, God in the relationship is a key, respect, and willing to give the relationship 100%. There is no 50/50.. either you are all in or you're not. Willing to listen and I repeat willing to listen when your spouse is voicing a concern and willing to work together to get things done.

Marriage is not all pie in the sky and lovey dovey all the time. You will have disagreements and you won't always be happy, but when you respect and love each other you take the time to work things out and get over the hard parts and there will be hard parts.

Thing will go well also and take the time to enjoy each other when things are going well. Dance a little, laugh a little, smile and enjoy the sunshine. Even sitting on the porch in the sun can be fun and enjoyable when you are doing it together.

Marriage goes through stages too, the honeymoon phase, the settled in phase, the raise the kids phase, the pay the bills, work to support it all phase, the empty nest phase and the part I like best.... the sit on the porch and enjoy the sunshine/retirement phase. Or the twilight phase when everything is slowing down and the someone is left alone phase... cause we don't live forever....

But if you can make it through all the phases then you have managed to have a happy marriage in general....just always remember that you need God in all the phases and to help you through the rough spots and the fun spots.....and when you are both committed to each other 100% the all in commitment it makes it so much easier to do it together....

Thank you

 

[montana123]

People fight over every thing there is to fight about and now it is time for the men and women to fight.

It was inevitable.

We are down to the nitty gritty the last fighting of the last fighting where the world will fight against the Christians.

This is not Little House on the Prairie anymore.

People are at their most arrogant, selfish, and self exalting behavior in the whole history of mankind.

They will become so arrogant that they will not want to hear the truth of the Bible but want to hear it according to their own lusts which is the new age movement which interprets the Bible according to the occult and evolution and people are still evolving to be spiritual and there is no personal God.

It is not so popular now but when the New Age Christ establishes peace in the Middle East he will push the new age movement until the world rebels against God.

At that time they will forbid a man and a woman to marry for population reduction.

People do not trust as much, do not care as much, do not value people as much, they are a dime a dozen, they are not important to people as much, they want to have their way more today than at any other time, and they do not give as much when it comes to marriage.

Everybody wants to have their way now and men and women are at odds more than any other time so marriages will not work out as well as the past.

Like I said this is not Little House on the Prairie anymore.

And the powers that be love it for they want the men and women to fight, they want the people to turn homosexual, they want the children to rebel against parents, and they want all people to exalt themselves above each other.

For in order to put everyone equal for the kingdom to come they must knock down the men and boost the women.

They must knock down the heterosexuals and boost the homosexuals.

They must knock down the parents and boost the children which they loved the 1960's counter culture movement for it started children to disobey parents and they loved that they were rebelling against authority.

Pro 30:11 There is a generation that curseth their father, and doth not bless their mother.
Pro 30:12 There is a generation that are pure in their own eyes, and yet is not washed from their filthiness.
Pro 30:13 There is a generation, O how lofty are their eyes! and their eyelids are lifted up.
Pro 30:14 There is a generation, whose teeth are as swords, and their jaw teeth as knives, to devour the poor from off the earth, and the needy from among men.

The last generation.

 

[SophieT]

People fight over every thing there is to fight about and now it is time for the men and women to fight.

It was inevitable.

We are down to the nitty gritty the last fighting of the last fighting where the world will fight against the Christians.

This is not Little House on the Prairie anymore.

People are at their most arrogant, selfish, and self exalting behavior in the whole history of mankind.

They will become so arrogant that they will not want to hear the truth of the Bible but want to hear it according to their own lusts which is the new age movement which interprets the Bible according to the occult and evolution and people are still evolving to be spiritual and there is no personal God.

It is not so popular now but when the New Age Christ establishes peace in the Middle East he will push the new age movement until the world rebels against God.

At that time they will forbid a man and a woman to marry for population reduction.

People do not trust as much, do not care as much, do not value people as much, they are a dime a dozen, they are not important to people as much, they want to have their way more today than at any other time, and they do not give as much when it comes to marriage.

Everybody wants to have their way now and men and women are at odds more than any other time so marriages will not work out as well as the past.

Like I said this is not Little House on the Prairie anymore.

And the powers that be love it for they want the men and women to fight, they want the people to turn homosexual, they want the children to rebel against parents, and they want all people to exalt themselves above each other.

For in order to put everyone equal for the kingdom to come they must knock down the men and boost the women.

They must knock down the heterosexuals and boost the homosexuals.

They must knock down the parents and boost the children which they loved the 1960's counter culture movement for it started children to disobey parents and they loved that they were rebelling against authority.

Pro 30:11 There is a generation that curseth their father, and doth not bless their mother.
Pro 30:12 There is a generation that are pure in their own eyes, and yet is not washed from their filthiness.
Pro 30:13 There is a generation, O how lofty are their eyes! and their eyelids are lifted up.
Pro 30:14 There is a generation, whose teeth are as swords, and their jaw teeth as knives, to devour the poor from off the earth, and the needy from among men.

The last generation.

or not

 

[Nehemiah6]

Just because two people serve God does not mean they will have a good relationship...

Does that not sound a little bizarre? If a person has a good relationship with God, it follows that there should also be good relationships elsewhere.

 

[Lizzy]

The dream scenario u describe is what many of us fight to achieve, but sometimes the will/effort of one side is just not enough to keep the boat afloat. Now I am just trying to battle the bitterness and guilt

I could not imagine trying to fight for the love and respect from my spouse. I really hope you heal from whatever happened.

 

[Amanuensis]

What it Takes to Have a Good Marriage?

Assuming they are two sincere Christians.... Both people must be super nice to each other all the time. End of counseling session.

 

[GardenofWeeden]

I was married for 27 years before my husband passed. What I learned is that Love isn't some gushy feeling you have. It's a choice we make. Sometimes it's an unconscious choice, and sometimes it take a deliberate thought to choose to love the other. Let's face it, everyone is unlovable at times, and it take a real commitment to choose to love someone who's unlovable. After those gushy feelings turn into real lives, with kids, jobs and commitments, and runny noses, soccer practice, laundry, dishes, grass to cut and car repairs, if you still understand that the person who you choose to love is the reason you are blessed with all that mess, then you will be able to work through most trials life sends you. And marry someone you enjoy talking to, because there will be times when talking is all you can do, so make sure you enjoy their company beyond the physical, but don't forsake the physical when you can. Building real intimacy just makes sense that it will keep you close. If you desire the touch of the other, you will WANT to be around them.
I could go on for hours with what made our marriage last, but it's late. Just some late night ramblings.