Unintelligent Ugly Nerd

[Seeking-Christ]

Today I went out and flew one of my smaller R/C Planes. After the flight I needed to make some adjustments to the model. I hope that the adjustments made will help it fly better next time... But this year, my flying skills hasn't been as good as they were last year. Or maybe even the last couple of years. In fact this year, nothing seems to be going as smooth as in the past. I don't really know why this is.

On the Christian Chat App I had a request for a picture of me. I don't normally make pictures of myself, because I think I'm ugly, and secondly I do the best I can to balance my online activities with my real life activities. In other words, I feel that I must say somethings online that could get me into some trouble in real life. Is that the way things should be? I don't think so. I don't think what I post is that bad, yet I feel that I need to be careful. When you put a picture with someone's writing then everyone knows who you are, including those who know you in real life. I've heard stories of people who got into trouble with their employers over a post they made on facebook.

After I got done flying today, and making those adjustments to the airplane, I decided to wash my car. Right after washing my car it was time to each lunch. I'm going to lay down and take a nap. Then when I get up I'm going to wax my car. Then that will be done for the rest of year.

This year my legs, back, and gut area has been bothering me. Before writing this blog, they were inspiring me to write. It is a theory if mine that people are not attracted to me because this body is not athletic, nor is it smart. So what you have with me, is I'm an Unintelligent Ugly Nerd. I was kinda bothered by my selfies being on the site called postimages, so I decided to delete them.

For as ugly looking as I am, I think I should be more intelligent then I am.

 

[ChristianMystic]

Take it from someone who was born with the curse of good looks. Yes, you must be ugly if you are so sure you are. But my condescending to talk to you brings you up 100 notches.

Feel better?

Lol. I get your jokes. Love, brother...or sister!

 

[JillianMarie]

Today I went out and flew one of my smaller R/C Planes. After the flight I needed to make some adjustments to the model. I hope that the adjustments made will help it fly better next time... But this year, my flying skills hasn't been as good as they were last year. Or maybe even the last couple of years. In fact this year, nothing seems to be going as smooth as in the past. I don't really know why this is.

On the Christian Chat App I had a request for a picture of me. I don't normally make pictures of myself, because I think I'm ugly, and secondly I do the best I can to balance my online activities with my real life activities. In other words, I feel that I must say somethings online that could get me into some trouble in real life. Is that the way things should be? I don't think so. I don't think what I post is that bad, yet I feel that I need to be careful. When you put a picture with someone's writing then everyone knows who you are, including those who know you in real life. I've heard stories of people who got into trouble with their employers over a post they made on facebook.

After I got done flying today, and making those adjustments to the airplane, I decided to wash my car. Right after washing my car it was time to each lunch. I'm going to lay down and take a nap. Then when I get up I'm going to wax my car. Then that will be done for the rest of year.

This year my legs, back, and gut area has been bothering me. Before writing this blog, they were inspiring me to write. It is a theory if mine that people are not attracted to me because this body is not athletic, nor is it smart. So what you have with me, is I'm an Unintelligent Ugly Nerd. I was kinda bothered by my selfies being on the site called postimages, so I decided to delete them.

For as ugly looking as I am, I think I should be more intelligent then I am.

its just real hard sometimes to understand why the Lord made some of them very attractive and other's not because all my life I know I'm just average not pretty to them

 

[Bluesproverb]

Today I went out and flew one of my smaller R/C Planes. After the flight I needed to make some adjustments to the model. I hope that the adjustments made will help it fly better next time... But this year, my flying skills hasn't been as good as they were last year. Or maybe even the last couple of years. In fact this year, nothing seems to be going as smooth as in the past. I don't really know why this is.

On the Christian Chat App I had a request for a picture of me. I don't normally make pictures of myself, because I think I'm ugly, and secondly I do the best I can to balance my online activities with my real life activities. In other words, I feel that I must say somethings online that could get me into some trouble in real life. Is that the way things should be? I don't think so. I don't think what I post is that bad, yet I feel that I need to be careful. When you put a picture with someone's writing then everyone knows who you are, including those who know you in real life. I've heard stories of people who got into trouble with their employers over a post they made on facebook.

After I got done flying today, and making those adjustments to the airplane, I decided to wash my car. Right after washing my car it was time to each lunch. I'm going to lay down and take a nap. Then when I get up I'm going to wax my car. Then that will be done for the rest of year.

This year my legs, back, and gut area has been bothering me. Before writing this blog, they were inspiring me to write. It is a theory if mine that people are not attracted to me because this body is not athletic, nor is it smart. So what you have with me, is I'm an Unintelligent Ugly Nerd. I was kinda bothered by my selfies being on the site called postimages, so I decided to delete them.

For as ugly looking as I am, I think I should be more intelligent then I am.

[Hugs you] You are made in the image and likeness of God.

You're not ugly! And when you can fly you sure aren't dumb.

You're a unique one of a kind work of art created by the divine sculptor of all existence. 😍 You're a masterpiece.

God Bless.

 

[ChristianMystic]

its just real hard sometimes to understand why the Lord made some of them very attractive and other's not because all my life I know I'm just average not pretty to them

I hope you didn't think I was being serious above. The way Seeking Christ wrote his post, strangely or not, would be a way I would do it as a joke. My sense of humor is like that. But if he or she is serious, then my response would be bad, and not intended as such. But I prefer to think that Seeking God is just kidding, so that I'm not the only one with such sense of humor, lol. I did make a similar post somewhere titled "Portrait of a Potential Looser," referring to myself in example.

 

[Seeking-Christ]

I hope you didn't think I was being serious above. The way Seeking Christ wrote his post, strangely or not, would be a way I would do it as a joke. My sense of humor is like that. But if he or she is serious, then my response would be bad, and not intended as such. But I prefer to think that Seeking God is just kidding, so that I'm not the only one with such sense of humor, lol. I did make a similar post somewhere titled "Portrait of a Potential Looser," referring to myself in example.

I think it's ok that you have a sense of humor. But I wasn't trying to be funny. This really how things are for me.

 

[ChristianMystic]

I think it's ok that you have a sense of humor. But I wasn't trying to be funny. This really how things are for me.

Well, Seeking Christ, I feel that I suffer from clinical depression sometimes. It is hard for me to think this since I feel my awareness itself is something so personal to me that it is a kind of insult to think that brain chemicals can shape the real me, you know what I mean? I don't really identify with anyone else to say he or she is a close friend, or even a friend. I feel that I have never met someone I can say is intelligent, or wise. And I feel alone in this. So, there is my truth.

We ALL suffer from self-doubt in some way. Teenage peer pressure and cruelty is most people's way of shunning or banishing ideas of inadequacy. Sometimes I feel it takes the really brave among us to confess to ourselves our anxieties, and especially to others.

On the other hand, you should also be aware that dwelling in the negative is a kind of egotism and sin too. It is comforting in a dark way, and it can be an opening for the Evil One...

 

[Seeking-Christ]

Well, Seeking Christ, I feel that I suffer from clinical depression sometimes. It is hard for me to think this since I feel my awareness itself is something so personal to me that it is a kind of insult to think that brain chemicals can shape the real me, you know what I mean? I don't really identify with anyone else to say he or she is a close friend, or even a friend. I feel that I have never met someone I can say is intelligent, or wise. And I feel alone in this. So, there is my truth.

We ALL suffer from self-doubt in some way. Teenage peer pressure and cruelty is most people's way of shunning or banishing ideas of inadequacy. Sometimes I feel it takes the really brave among us to confess to ourselves our anxieties, and especially to others.

On the other hand, you should also be aware that dwelling in the negative is a kind of egotism and sin too. It is comforting in a dark way, and it can be an opening for the Evil One...

I try to be as honest as I can be. I share my real life experiences.

 

[ChristianMystic]

I try to be as honest as I can be. I share my real life experiences.

I suppose I can see how such an open hearted and transparent approach can be a good thing. But when a person is healthily so, they do not really take time to brood, or even fix their identities in any way. They pour out their transient anxieties and even joys, then they proceed to live and feel and experience more. This type of person can be truly beautiful in a different way from the physical. I do hope you are one of these...

 

[Magenta]

ugly looking as I am, I think I should be more intelligent then I am.

You are neither ugly nor stupid. You have a very distorted image of self

 

[Seeking-Christ]

I suppose I can see how such an open hearted and transparent approach can be a good thing. But when a person is healthily so, they do not really take time to brood, or even fix their identities in any way. They pour out their transient anxieties and even joys, then they proceed to live and feel and experience more. This type of person can be truly beautiful in a different way from the physical. I do hope you are one of these...

You are neither ugly nor stupid. You have a very distorted image of self

I don't have a come back for either one of these two... I just feel the way I feel. I see things the way I see things. It's my experiences. I'm sure there are reasons for it, but I don't completely understand my own life.

 

[ChristianMystic]

I don't have a come back for either one of these two... I just feel the way I feel. I see things the way I see things. It's my experiences. I'm sure there are reasons for it, but I don't completely understand my own life.

If I felt people would pay any attention to me, I might actually enjoy brooding over myself, and wallowing in dark emotions. Cause then others would be enjoying my trip with me. But I feel that no one will really pay attention to me, and what's more, I know that even I wouldn't be interested in such a me very long, lol.

Oh, here is a poem I just wrote cause I'm here in my little old city in Florida just feeling alone and lonely and I just posted it in my town's Facebook group dedicated to gossip and complaints:

Eternity weighs upon me in Deltona,

Quiet, grass grows outside my window,

Then police sirens,

Then,

Gun shots in the distance.



Helicopters circling this neighborhood,

Ever since I bought this house,

And,

I can’t help but feel guilty,

That they’re looking for me.



Or am I just egotistical,

To think,

That a husband and daddy,

To the sweetest 3 year old girl,

Who never ever got into any trouble,

Or even came close to breaking the law,

Can have police helicopters after him?



Ah Deltona, my city,

You are where I’m at,

Even if I’m just another human being,

Forever thinking crap;



And festering, festering, festering…

 

[JillianMarie]

ok I'm just trying to understand all of it better. I have read all the posts a few times. All I meant is that I know I'm not real pretty to males, not a model or movie star, just average to them.

 

[Seeking-Christ]

All I meant is that I know I'm not real pretty to males, not a model or movie star, just average to them.

As a married woman, that might be a good thing. You don't need men hitting on you. All you need is your husband to pay attention to you. And I hope that someday you and him will get things worked out. If you haven't done so already.