Uncertain about how to feel

[Brokennlost]

I’m going through a lot with grandson who use to file Jesus and go to church and was happy. He’s stopped going to church, stopped going around family, started drinking, doing drugs because his friends and gf do and they never accepted his ways when he was into church and doing good so he transformed into someone they would all accept. I invite him to family gatherings and he won’t go or his gf gets in the way and makes sure he’s with her instead and her family. I invite him to church and he makes excuses or she once again gets in the way. Her father invited him to go to their church picnic and he immediately said he’d go. I know he’s going just to impress them cuz he doesn’t go with us. I’m not sure how to feel because I kind of feel disappointed and hurt because I had just invited him to church last Sunday and he didn’t really want to and said maybe if I’m awake or not busy. But they invite him to a church picnic at another church and he starts setting alarms to make sure he’s up in time. Am I wrong for being disappointed? It’s not only that it’s when I told him why doesn’t he go to church with us and family or any gatherings but he always goes places with them, he says cuz he doesn’t like anyone in our family and that they are annoying. But yet he’s never acted that way until he met the gf. She tries to keep him busy with herself and her family so anytime something comes up with our family, he won’t go and it hurts me because he was never like that. This is his first gf so I don’t know if maybe that’s why he acts like that or what. Am I overreacting? I just worry and love him so much

 

[shittim]

Is her name Jezebel?
Young women can use sex to trap a young man whose hormones she has aroused, turning him from his own.
(Kind of like when a baby boy finds......)

 

[ThereRoseaLamb]

I’m going through a lot with grandson who use to file Jesus and go to church and was happy. He’s stopped going to church, stopped going around family, started drinking, doing drugs because his friends and gf do and they never accepted his ways when he was into church and doing good so he transformed into someone they would all accept. I invite him to family gatherings and he won’t go or his gf gets in the way and makes sure he’s with her instead and her family. I invite him to church and he makes excuses or she once again gets in the way. Her father invited him to go to their church picnic and he immediately said he’d go. I know he’s going just to impress them cuz he doesn’t go with us. I’m not sure how to feel because I kind of feel disappointed and hurt because I had just invited him to church last Sunday and he didn’t really want to and said maybe if I’m awake or not busy. But they invite him to a church picnic at another church and he starts setting alarms to make sure he’s up in time. Am I wrong for being disappointed? It’s not only that it’s when I told him why doesn’t he go to church with us and family or any gatherings but he always goes places with them, he says cuz he doesn’t like anyone in our family and that they are annoying. But yet he’s never acted that way until he met the gf. She tries to keep him busy with herself and her family so anytime something comes up with our family, he won’t go and it hurts me because he was never like that. This is his first gf so I don’t know if maybe that’s why he acts like that or what. Am I overreacting? I just worry and love him so much

I understand, I've had this issue with my oldest nephew. The best thing you can do is pray for him. My nephews situation got a little more complicated, but pushing her away will only make him defend her more. Don't take it too seriously as far as being offended, especially since it's his first gf. Just try to be as light about it as you can and compliment her, include her when you can. The more he feels a push against her, the more he will pull away from his family. And you don't want that, you want to be there if and when he needs you and your advice. Love is blind, but only for a short while. You can be there for him, just be patient.

 

[Suze]

O

I’m going through a lot with grandson who use to file Jesus and go to church and was happy. He’s stopped going to church, stopped going around family, started drinking, doing drugs because his friends and gf do and they never accepted his ways when he was into church and doing good so he transformed into someone they would all accept. I invite him to family gatherings and he won’t go or his gf gets in the way and makes sure he’s with her instead and her family. I invite him to church and he makes excuses or she once again gets in the way. Her father invited him to go to their church picnic and he immediately said he’d go. I know he’s going just to impress them cuz he doesn’t go with us. I’m not sure how to feel because I kind of feel disappointed and hurt because I had just invited him to church last Sunday and he didn’t really want to and said maybe if I’m awake or not busy. But they invite him to a church picnic at another church and he starts setting alarms to make sure he’s up in time. Am I wrong for being disappointed? It’s not only that it’s when I told him why doesn’t he go to church with us and family or any gatherings but he always goes places with them, he says cuz he doesn’t like anyone in our family and that they are annoying. But yet he’s never acted that way until he met the gf. She tries to keep him busy with herself and her family so anytime something comes up with our family, he won’t go and it hurts me because he was never like that. This is his first gf so I don’t know if maybe that’s why he acts like that or what. Am I overreacting? I just worry and love him so much

Oh Gosh , have u forgotten what it's like to b young and believe that u r in love ? Have u forgotten what a massive influence hormones r on young people who don't know any better ?
Please try not to take this as a personal slight against u and your family . If it works out with this girl and they get married , then u need to b ready to wish them all the happiness in the world . If it doesn't work out and they break up , then u need to b ready to welcome him back with open arms . Simple as that . It's not about u , it's about him and his desires . B patient and b ready , to b happy for him or , to comfort him . That's what family does

 

[resto]

This has happened to two young men I led to Christ and Lately they both broke contact. It didnt take long after I left the US. Yes It hurt. Ill just have to pray and wait to see what God does. They went Full Fornication and Drunkenness'.

 

[Eli1]

Adding to the wisdom in post 3 and 4 i would like to add that you as a parent should do your job to minimize these kinds of things while your children are going through the teenage phase.
What's your job?
Choose your environment and neighborhood wisely! That's what i had to do. I was in a "good" town and i moved to an even "better" town.
I understand that not everyone may be in this position because the financial situation may be outside of their control and even the birth of the children themselves may be outside of their control but through God's mercy neither of these things were outside of our control.

And of course the example in the family should trump any of these things because we've taught our kids through living our life to not follow these fleeting trends and in a way be the trend for God in the way you live even if you live in a bad neighborhood full of drugs.

 

[2ndTimeIsTheCharm]

I’m going through a lot with grandson who use to file Jesus and go to church and was happy. He’s stopped going to church, stopped going around family, started drinking, doing drugs because his friends and gf do and they never accepted his ways when he was into church and doing good so he transformed into someone they would all accept. I invite him to family gatherings and he won’t go or his gf gets in the way and makes sure he’s with her instead and her family. I invite him to church and he makes excuses or she once again gets in the way. Her father invited him to go to their church picnic and he immediately said he’d go. I know he’s going just to impress them cuz he doesn’t go with us. I’m not sure how to feel because I kind of feel disappointed and hurt because I had just invited him to church last Sunday and he didn’t really want to and said maybe if I’m awake or not busy. But they invite him to a church picnic at another church and he starts setting alarms to make sure he’s up in time. Am I wrong for being disappointed? It’s not only that it’s when I told him why doesn’t he go to church with us and family or any gatherings but he always goes places with them, he says cuz he doesn’t like anyone in our family and that they are annoying. But yet he’s never acted that way until he met the gf. She tries to keep him busy with herself and her family so anytime something comes up with our family, he won’t go and it hurts me because he was never like that. This is his first gf so I don’t know if maybe that’s why he acts like that or what. Am I overreacting? I just worry and love him so much

Also persistent prayers help. That did wonders for what happens in my family. And they never even suspected my prayers for them. So yes, be gracious to your grandson's girlfriend by all means, but lift up the situation to God in prayer, in secret. Many times I prayed for my family about things going on with them and God took care of those issues without me having to say or do anything to them. Because sometimes confronting them, taking matters into your own hands will make it worse. If you give it to God, He has His own solutions that are much more effective. There are even times that God had worked in their lives to make them change their minds to something I secretly agree with so that I wouldn't have to address them myself!

So please pray persistently (and secretly from your grandson) to God. Also pray for protection for your grandson so nothing truly adverse happens to him - God will protect him. So many times I prayed for protection of my family and myself and God did really protect us from all kinds of harm.

 

[Prycejosh1987]

Falling back into sin is what we all struggle with, but it gets better with time.

 

[GRACE_ambassador]

Falling back into sin is what we all struggle with, but it gets better with time.

And, Best Of All, With God's Grace, Which Is Much More Abundant (Unlimited) Than all our sin
(Romans 5:17-20 AV)

Amen.

 

[LightBearer316]

I’m going through a lot with grandson who use to file Jesus and go to church and was happy. He’s stopped going to church, stopped going around family, started drinking, doing drugs because his friends and gf do and they never accepted his ways when he was into church and doing good so he transformed into someone they would all accept. I invite him to family gatherings and he won’t go or his gf gets in the way and makes sure he’s with her instead and her family. I invite him to church and he makes excuses or she once again gets in the way. Her father invited him to go to their church picnic and he immediately said he’d go. I know he’s going just to impress them cuz he doesn’t go with us. I’m not sure how to feel because I kind of feel disappointed and hurt because I had just invited him to church last Sunday and he didn’t really want to and said maybe if I’m awake or not busy. But they invite him to a church picnic at another church and he starts setting alarms to make sure he’s up in time. Am I wrong for being disappointed? It’s not only that it’s when I told him why doesn’t he go to church with us and family or any gatherings but he always goes places with them, he says cuz he doesn’t like anyone in our family and that they are annoying. But yet he’s never acted that way until he met the gf. She tries to keep him busy with herself and her family so anytime something comes up with our family, he won’t go and it hurts me because he was never like that. This is his first gf so I don’t know if maybe that’s why he acts like that or what. Am I overreacting? I just worry and love him so much

First—no, you’re not wrong to feel disappointed. You feel that because you love him.
A few thoughts that may help:

Why he may avoid your church/family right now
When someone drifts into sin, the places that once felt holy can feel like a mirror. Shame makes us hide. “Every one that doeth evil hateth the light” (John 3:20). It’s often easier to go where there’s no history or expectations. And yes—“evil communications corrupt good manners” (1 Cor 15:33).

Keep the door open—relationship over pressure

• Small, warm touches beat big lectures: “Love you. Lunch this week?”
• Celebrate any tiny step in the right direction.
• Avoid criticizing the girlfriend; it’ll only harden him.

Speak grace, set light boundaries

• “You’re always welcome with us—sober and safe. If substances are involved, we’ll try another time.”
• Keep invites simple and consistent.

Pray and entrust

• Luke 15: the Father’s steady love “when he came to himself.”
• “Restore such an one in the spirit of meekness” (Gal 6:1).
• “Of some have compassion, making a difference” (Jude 22).
• “God peradventure will give them repentance… that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil” (2 Tim 2:25–26).

Remember how God works
It is “the goodness of God [that] leadeth thee to repentance” (Rom 2:4). Your steady kindness may be the rope he grabs when the party ends.
Short lines you can use

• “No lectures—just dinner. You’re wanted here.”
• “Church is always open with me when you’re ready. Until then, coffee?”
• “I still see good in you. God hasn’t let go.”

You’re playing the long game. Keep the porch light on. Grace and peace.

 

[Starsdance7]

我明白，我大侄子也遇到过类似的问题。你现在能做的最好的事情就是为他祈祷。我侄子的情况稍微复杂一些，但你越是疏远她，他就越会维护她。别太在意，尤其这是他的初恋。尽量轻松一点，多夸夸她，多和她互动。你越是觉得被她排斥，就越会疏远家人。你肯定不想看到这种情况，你想在他需要你和建议的时候陪伴在他身边。爱情是盲目的，但只是暂时的。你可以支持他，耐心一点。

我不同意你的看法。显然，他的初恋使他远离神，开始背离神的道路。这非常危险。请不要轻视罪。

 

[ThereRoseaLamb]

我不同意你的看法。显然，他的初恋使他远离神，开始背离神的道路。这非常危险。请不要轻视罪。

Wǒ tóngyì tā zǒu cuòle lù. Dàn qiǎngpò tā fàngqì nǚ péngyǒu bìng bùnéng ràng tā chéngwéi jīdū tú. Xīwàng tā zhǐshì tā yīshí de qíngrén. Nǐ huì shuō yīngyǔ ma?

 

[Starsdance7]

Wǒ tóngyì tā zǒu cuòle lù. Dàn qiǎngpò tā fàngqì nǚ péngyǒu bìng bùnéng ràng tā chéngwéi jīdū tú. Xīwàng tā zhǐshì tā yīshí de qíngrén. Nǐ huì shuō yīngyǔ ma?

I don't agree with that person's view. Clearly, his first love led him away from God and started him on a path of straying from God. This is very dangerous. Please don't underestimate sin.

 

[ThereRoseaLamb]

I don't agree with that person's view. Clearly, his first love led him away from God and started him on a path of straying from God. This is very dangerous. Please don't underestimate sin.

Do you have children?