To what extent should I help a friend financially?

[Magenta]

She gets a stipend being a teaching assistant. She is taking quantitative/statistical courses so her computer must be powerful enough to run certain programs.

OS Name Microsoft Windows 10 Home
Version 10.0.18362 Build *****
Other OS Description Not Available
OS Manufacturer Microsoft Corporation
System Name LAPTOP-********
System Manufacturer HP
System Model HP Laptop 15-bs0xx
System Type x64-based PC
System SKU 2SP97UA#ABL
Processor Intel(R) Core(TM) i5-7200U CPU @ 2.50GHz, 2701 Mhz, 2 Core(s), 4 Logical Processor(s)
BIOS Version/Date Insyde F.33, 2017-12-08
SMBIOS Version 3.0
Embedded Controller Version 23.47
BIOS Mode UEFI
BaseBoard Manufacturer HP
BaseBoard Product 832A
BaseBoard Version 23.47
Platform Role Mobile
Secure Boot State On
PCR7 Configuration Elevation Required to View
Windows Directory C:\WINDOWS
System Directory C:\WINDOWS\system32
Boot Device \Device\HarddiskVolume1
Locale United States
Hardware Abstraction Layer Version = "10.0.18362.752"
User Name LAPTOP-********/*****
Time Zone Pacific Daylight Time
Installed Physical Memory (RAM) 8.00 GB
Total Physical Memory 7.92 GB
Available Physical Memory 1.65 GB
Total Virtual Memory 17.4 GB
Available Virtual Memory 4.85 GB
Page File Space 9.50 GB
Page File C:\pagefile.sys
Kernel DMA Protection -
Virtualization-based security *
Device Encryption Support Elevation Required to View
Hyper-V - VM Monitor Mode Extensions Yes
Hyper-V - Second Level Address Translation Extensions Yes
Hyper-V - Virtualization Enabled in Firmware No
Hyper-V - Data Execution Protection Yes

^ ^ System Summary ^ ^

This is an excellent touch screen 15" laptop, 1TB HD space, cost = $600.00

I often have multiple tabs open in more than one browser while running Photoshop at the same time.

 

[1christian1]

She gets a stipend being a teaching assistant. She is taking quantitative/statistical courses so her computer must be powerful enough to run certain programs.

Sounds like you are supporting a hobby of her's..

 

[melita916]

If she is not able to afford this computer she says she needs for school, she should talk with her professor(s). They can advise her as to how she can do her assignments using alternative systems. Or maybe classmates can let her know of other ways.

 

[Papou]

...You don't even have a husband, you should be married instead of working and funding other peoples' families.

Not very kind !

 

[JeremiahsCup]

Not very kind !

How is it unkind? She should be married and taken care of, not have to take care of people that are themselves married so that they can live the high life while she lives alone spending her substance on them.

 

[Papou]

I have a Christian student friend in her late 30s who sometimes strongly hints for financial help, and I get uncomfortable listening to it. We are close friends. For example, when she needed a new computer she spoke at length at how she is praying for a computer. I could have helped her with a few hundred dollars but she needed a specific $1500 computer for school. Just recently she called and said her insurance and other fees cost $2000 plus. She just married and the husband is hardworking but job searching for a better job, so I'm sure he is watching their spending. I get the feeling that she thinks I should give her money as it is the Christian thing to do. I do have more money than her but that is because I've worked longer than her. I have helped her before in small amounts. Or sometimes she might call and complain about money issues. I wouldn't mind helping but I'm afraid it might become a habit. A lot of this I believe comes from lifestyle choices; for example I've been working full time since 22 whereas she wanted to get higher degrees.

How should a Christian treat another Christian friend on money issues?

In reality, giving her money won't help her because she will always be begging for money (and I talk from experience). They won't change the way they manage their finances unless they have to .... The best approach for her is simply to get a loan from a bank. Student get many advantages on loan. In any case, congratulations for being a successful citizen...

 

[Papou]

How is it unkind? She should be married and taken care of, not have to take care of people that are themselves married so that they can live the high life while she lives alone spending her substance on them.

I perceived it as unkind but if you say so ... You don't have to be married to be a good person...

 

[Lanolin]

mmM i agree people are so mean on here saying you SHOULD do this or that.

OP dont feel obligated.
If someone wants a new car that they cant afford well too bad they need to either save up for one, use public transport, or get financing. Some companies provide cars cos its part of the job. Its the same with computers.

At school we just use the ones provided at school. I dont think there is any huge advantage in buying a computer, and I would not even bother buying a printer, since they are not worth having when ink is so expensive and they break so easily.

if its for personal use then its on her but if its for school she could talk to student support...all schools are meant to have them.

Theres no harm in saying well here are the options you have. She might not have even thought of them or even know what options she has. People that expect their parents to pay for evrything live in a fantasy world I think.

I remember my sister gouging my parents for a computer that cost five thousand dollars back in the day. we didnt need one really she could have used the uni campus computers.

 

[Silverwings]

[QUOTE="JeremiahsCup, post: 42947 you should be married instead of working and funding other peoples' families.[/QUOTE]

now who is doing the manipulating?

 

[Silverwings]

[QUOTE="Lanolin, post: 4295896, I would not even bother buying a printer, since they are not worth having when ink is so expensive and they break so easily.

I bought a really cheap printer years ago and have had no trouble with it at all, and have you ever heard of Instant INk? 3.00 per month for 50 copies and their cartridges last forever.

 

[Silverwings]

You are under no obligation to help help her and if in doubt, don't!!

 

[Prycejosh1987]

How should a Christian treat another Christian friend on money issues?

I think you should help your friend if you can, when you give without expecting something in return then you are more blessed. that is if you can do it, but if you cant then borrow.