This just in... Florida man....

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Florida man poisoned by bitterness and captive to iniquity attempts to buy Holy Spirit.
 
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Florida couple evicted from home after failing to follow landlord's rules regarding one of the trees in the yard. Husband and wife kicked out with only the fur coats on their backs.
 
Florida House Boat Captain turns Charter Rides into Petting Zoo, says "It's gonna rain"
 
Florida Man survives being swallowed by huge fish. Says fellow passengers threw him overboard during storm at sea.
 
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Florida man named Jonah returns from ocean cruise smelling like fish, gives cruise line a one stare review. Cruise line cites bad weather, claims insurance company will cover damages under "Acts of God" clause.
 
JohnDB said:
Florida Man survives being swallowed by huge fish. Says fellow passengers threw him overboard during storm at sea.
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Well shoot. I was too late on the Jonah one.

Oh well. I like mine better anyway. :p
 
Florida war veteran and local miller develops stage act that is sure to bring down the house.
 
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War commander killed by Florida woman by driving a stake through his head. "I ain't sure if he's a vampire or not, but better safe than sorry!"
 
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Florida couple killed for telling lies in a church. Cause of deaths remain a mystery.
 
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Florida men create new music, call it "Jailhouse Rock." Local jailer becomes biggest fan.
 
Magenta said:
I like the one stare review:giggle:
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To quote Captain James T. Kirk, "One little mistake..." (Said in disgust in the hospital in Star Trek IV.)

Ah well. The secret is out. I am, in fact, NOT perfect.
 
Florida man moves to Georgia..
Lookin for a soul to steal...
He was in a bind
And way behind
He was willin to make a deal...
 
Florida man mysteriously struck blind while travelling; companions bewildered but unharmed.
 
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Florida Man returns home, celebrates with fatted calf and bling. Florida mans brother has grievances..exclusive tell all page 6


'my brother was no saint'
 
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