There's no "The One"

[Faceless_Nameless]

You're welcome, thanks for listening! 😊 I don't feel like I have anything else to add right now, and spring harvest is a little crazy here on the farm. But I'm sure I'll still be poking around the forums every now and then with my 2 cents worth. I hope you enjoy your time here on CC, and God bless you as well! 😁

You're welcome! Okie dokes. I'll be around as well. Probably I'll post about another topic soon enough. God bless!

 

[prattatouille]

A little over twenty years ago I asked my first pastor how to know if you've found 'the one'? He wisely said, that if you meet a girl and you like her, date her. If you marry her, she's 'the one'.

I have a lot of friends who have that kind of experience where they met their spouse and they knew, or shortly thereafter. I'm in a bible study with a bunch of fellas. We started it a few years ago. The guy that kind of leads it stole his wife from her then boyfriend in college. Another guy is 48 and is getting married for the first time to a woman he was in a relationship with twenty years ago. They went seperate ways, got saved, and reconnected.
I never married, myself.

 

[Ballaurena]

Or maybe it's just almost impossible to find. Eternal prayers and eternal searching and I'll grow even older and die and "the one" will never be there. Not that I'm a pessimist. It's just an observation throughout the years. Maybe I'm asking for too much. Maybe it's all a dream or wishful thinking. Not gonna lie; at times it hurts.

I would say that it is wrong both to say that there is a 'one,' and to say there isn't because God doesn't do the same thing with everybody. For some people God has a specific person in mind, possibly because he has a specific purpose in mind. For other people it isn't as defined who would be good for them to marry.

Also, even when there is a particular 'one' for someone, that doesn't make it an absolute. I know someone for whom God clearly showed her the 'one' He had in mind for her, but the guy blew it. Sorry if that scares anyone, but the fact is if God didn't give you the capacity to potentially mess things up, you couldn't have a real capacity to succeed at anything either. And God is big enough to deal with things even if best case scenario can't be achieved.

Now one thing I do believe to be universal to all is that not every being (soul-type) is compatible with every other kind of being, and I'm not talking about spiritual health here. God made different kinds of beings, and they all have different strengths and weaknesses that will balance differently with other strengths and weaknesses.

 

[Magenta]

A little over twenty years ago I asked my first pastor how to know if you've found 'the one'?
He wisely said, that if you meet a girl and you like her, date her. If you marry her, she's 'the one'.

I have a lot of friends who have that kind of experience where they met their spouse
and they knew, or shortly thereafter. I'm in a bible study with a bunch of fellas. We started
it a few years ago. The guy that kind of leads it stole his wife from her then boyfriend in
college. Another guy is 48 and is getting married for the first time to a woman he was in
a relationship with twenty years ago. They went separate ways, got saved, and reconnected.
I never married, myself.

Welcome!

 

[Ballaurena]

Howdy Anonymous and welcome to the forum.

This topic is a hardy perrennial on the forum. We never get a flood of threads about it, but it'll pop up with dependable regularity.

I've seen people that God really did put together, complete with personal messages to each of them. I've seen people that said God put them together, then got divorced a bit later. I've seen people desperate for the perfect match trying to cling to everybody they can find of the opposite gender.

I've seen people find their perfect match as teens and have lifelong relationships. I've seen people live as single almost their whole lives and find a great match almost at the end. I've seen people who go their whole lives thinking God will put them together with someone, and die alone.

My conclusion:
Sometimes God does play matchmaker. But don't assume He will or He has unless He tells you.
If He does, don't be impatient for it. It might happen when you're 80, because having a spouse earlier would get in the way of what He wants you to do before you get married.
Either way, there's a lot of life to be lived, married or single. No sense wasting time worrying about something you don't have. Either it will happen or it won't. In the meantime there's chocolate to eat and (insert whatever entertainment you like) to do.

Thank you Lynx. As one of those that is apparently meant to find a great match late in life (per specific things God has told me), it's soothing to find out that I'm not alone in this, and that it doesn't have to mean I or the guy screwed something up.

 

[Ballaurena]

I'm sure most of us singles could find someone willing to put up with us and say the vows and all, but in the end that's not what gives our lives fulfillment. Soooo.....

When I realized that, I asked Jesus to be my everything, and to please make it so that if He was all I ever had for the rest of my life, that I would be ok with it. And I'd say I have been.

I don't know whether to feel jealous of you or feel that I got the greater blessing. For I said the same prayer and whenever I start getting comfortable with the idea of it just being God and I for the rest of my life, He goes and stirs up desire even though my match doesn't come. 🙄

Really, though, I know that there are just different journeys and one is not necessarily better than the other.

To that end, the conversations here reminded me of something that may apply to some of those here who will never find an earthly spouse, whether or not that ends up being you.

There is an elder at my church, a lady, who has never gotten married and God told her why. In the book of Revelation there is a section about something like 144,000 who are virgins. Anyway, God showed her that she was called to be one of these, people reserved for God in a unique way. I don't know how common this is (though I'm guessing that it applies to around 144,000 people 😉), but it is at least something for the chronically single to consider and discuss with God as a possibility, especially if they are still a virgin.

 

[Snackersmom]

I don't know whether to feel jealous of you or feel that I got the greater blessing. For I said the same prayer and whenever I start getting comfortable with the idea of it just being God and I for the rest of my life, He goes and stirs up desire even though my match doesn't come.

Oh, I didn't mean to imply that I completely lost all desire for a husband, so maybe God actually answered us similarly 🙂. I just meant that it's no longer something I focus my whole life around, or feel like I "need" in order to be happy. 😊

 

[Imlistening4aChange]

Or maybe it's just almost impossible to find. Eternal prayers and eternal searching and I'll grow even older and die and "the one" will never be there. Not that I'm a pessimist. It's just an observation throughout the years. Maybe I'm asking for too much. Maybe it's all a dream or wishful thinking. Not gonna lie; at times it hurts.

I've been looking for the One myself. I thought I found him but I don't know if he's really the One. I am with him right now but there are still issues that's bothering me. Only God can give us the One. I believe that when HE created us HE also created that special someone that's really for us. We just have to be patient and with HIS perfect timing, we will meet our the ONE.

 

[Lynx]

I've been looking for the One myself. I thought I found him but I don't know if he's really the One. I am with him right now but there are still issues that's bothering me. Only God can give us the One. I believe that when HE created us HE also created that special someone that's really for us. We just have to be patient and with HIS perfect timing, we will meet our the ONE.

Howdy listening, and welcome to the forum.

I'm curious about how you intended that nickname. Was it more like "I wasn't listening, but now for a change I am listening" or was "I'm trying to find a change by listening for it" more what you meant?