The Dreaded 'you're like a sister to me'
- Thread starter CedarRose
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Never heard of "sibling zoned". Seems it's nothing more than friend zoned with a different name. Seems unnecessary.
People get friend zoned because the focus of their interest isn't interested back. Move on and find someone that Is interested.
Or stop sitting on the sidelines and speak up about how you feel. People that end up friend zoned get there by presenting themselves as just that, friends and nothing more.
Though I'd have to assume it's not likely to matter or you wouldn't be in the friend zone to begin with.
People get friend zoned because the focus of their interest isn't interested back. Move on and find someone that Is interested.
Or stop sitting on the sidelines and speak up about how you feel. People that end up friend zoned get there by presenting themselves as just that, friends and nothing more.
Though I'd have to assume it's not likely to matter or you wouldn't be in the friend zone to begin with.
Well if I had the power and knowledge to make people do what I wanted them to, I'd be rich (and probably in marketing). So after speaking up to make your feelings known and them not being reciprocated, your options are pretty much not accepting the situation by no longer spending time with the crush that isn't crushing back or deciding to accept it and just be friends / not really but kind of siblings .
Hi Cedar!
Welcome to CC, and I really like the term "Sibling-Zoned"... lol. I'm going to have to remember that. I've been on both sides of this phenomenon several times, so I feel your pain.
For some reason, it used to be that when I would first meet and talk to a guy, my heart would automatically think, "Hmm... potential boyfriend," or, "He seems like a good friend." I don't know why I thought that, but it did make it easier at the time because 99.999 (and 9/10) of the time, the "potential boyfriend" wasn't interested so it made it easier for me to let him go without any attachment.
Sure, it felt like walking over broken glass then, but over time, I became grateful that my heart could just start over with a clean slate.
I think that in either case, whether you're the recipient or the one who sees someone else as just a friend, its nearly impossible to change one's feelings once their mind is set on either path. I had some times in the past where I tried to "convince" someone else or someone else tried to "convince" me, and I know that when someone was trying to change my mind, I felt annoyed (and in one case, somewhat stalked) because if they weren't listening to me about my own decisions, I knew they wouldn't listen to me about anything else, either.
However, I am noticing that I'm changing over time. I'm finding myself most attracted to loyalty, a strong spiritual/moral foundation that's proven the test of time, and life experience (someone I can talk to about how to fix, repair, or approach important life circumstances, events, and decisions.) As I get older, I find myself more attracted to "the nice guy that gets left behind" because he has a solid record of being a responsible, admirable person, even if or when it seemed liked there was no payoff at the time for doing so, because someone who's lived that way usually has a lot less drama and baggage. (I used to be the exact opposite -- always being attracted to a guy with problem that I thought I could "help", while seeing good guys with clean lives as just friends.)
Unlike my past years, I wouldn't be surprised if I someday realized I was strongly attracted to a kind, thoughtful guy friend... whom I had always seen as just a friend in the past.
I'm not saying it's an absolute -- depending on what God wants -- but it's a lot different than how I used to think (and a very slow way of finding someone, lol, so I would imagine I'll be single a while longer.)
Great thread topic Cedar, and here's to hoping we'll see you more around the forums!
Welcome to CC, and I really like the term "Sibling-Zoned"... lol. I'm going to have to remember that. I've been on both sides of this phenomenon several times, so I feel your pain.
For some reason, it used to be that when I would first meet and talk to a guy, my heart would automatically think, "Hmm... potential boyfriend," or, "He seems like a good friend." I don't know why I thought that, but it did make it easier at the time because 99.999 (and 9/10) of the time, the "potential boyfriend" wasn't interested so it made it easier for me to let him go without any attachment.
Sure, it felt like walking over broken glass then, but over time, I became grateful that my heart could just start over with a clean slate.
I think that in either case, whether you're the recipient or the one who sees someone else as just a friend, its nearly impossible to change one's feelings once their mind is set on either path. I had some times in the past where I tried to "convince" someone else or someone else tried to "convince" me, and I know that when someone was trying to change my mind, I felt annoyed (and in one case, somewhat stalked) because if they weren't listening to me about my own decisions, I knew they wouldn't listen to me about anything else, either.
However, I am noticing that I'm changing over time. I'm finding myself most attracted to loyalty, a strong spiritual/moral foundation that's proven the test of time, and life experience (someone I can talk to about how to fix, repair, or approach important life circumstances, events, and decisions.) As I get older, I find myself more attracted to "the nice guy that gets left behind" because he has a solid record of being a responsible, admirable person, even if or when it seemed liked there was no payoff at the time for doing so, because someone who's lived that way usually has a lot less drama and baggage. (I used to be the exact opposite -- always being attracted to a guy with problem that I thought I could "help", while seeing good guys with clean lives as just friends.)
Unlike my past years, I wouldn't be surprised if I someday realized I was strongly attracted to a kind, thoughtful guy friend... whom I had always seen as just a friend in the past.
I'm not saying it's an absolute -- depending on what God wants -- but it's a lot different than how I used to think (and a very slow way of finding someone, lol, so I would imagine I'll be single a while longer.)
Great thread topic Cedar, and here's to hoping we'll see you more around the forums!
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I was 'patient' zoned though. I remember when I was in my 20s, I had a crazy crush on a doctor when I was sick in hospital. It was weird because he was the one who was asking ME all these personal questions, so I thought he was interested. Nobody had really paid me THAT much attention before.
I think he couldnt use the 'sibling' zone thing with me because there was no way we could be related, (being obviously different ethnicities) plus he said I should find someone my own age. lol. of course I was crushed. But then he left the country as he was only a visiting doctor so its not like I could ever see him again.
now that I am healthy I avoid going to the doctors and hospital as much as possible. One of my brothers IS actually a doctor Im glad I am his sister cos I wouldnt really like to be his patient. He specialises in urology.
If you are a doctor, I do not recommend you start chatting up your patients. You are meant to have bedSIDE manners, not imply you are going to bed with them (or be nosy about who your patients are or arent sleeping with)
I think he couldnt use the 'sibling' zone thing with me because there was no way we could be related, (being obviously different ethnicities) plus he said I should find someone my own age. lol. of course I was crushed. But then he left the country as he was only a visiting doctor so its not like I could ever see him again.
now that I am healthy I avoid going to the doctors and hospital as much as possible. One of my brothers IS actually a doctor Im glad I am his sister cos I wouldnt really like to be his patient. He specialises in urology.
If you are a doctor, I do not recommend you start chatting up your patients. You are meant to have bedSIDE manners, not imply you are going to bed with them (or be nosy about who your patients are or arent sleeping with)
dentists will ask you if you are pregnant though, when they do x-rays. (only females will have this question) I dont recommend having crushes on dentists...or anyone in the medical profession for that matter. Plus, if you do go out with a dentist, if you dont have perfect teeth you arent going to stand a chance anyway.
Wow! Terrible question. It's like you don't respect the man's feelings and them rejecting you. What's wrong with you?
Calling you a sister is an affectionate gesture that says that although the man is not interested in a romantic relationship, he still respects you as a human being and is willing to continue to socialize with you.
If that doesn't work with you, you can choose to stop socializing with that man instead of trying to manipulate him into liking you.
Calling you a sister is an affectionate gesture that says that although the man is not interested in a romantic relationship, he still respects you as a human being and is willing to continue to socialize with you.
If that doesn't work with you, you can choose to stop socializing with that man instead of trying to manipulate him into liking you.
A sister would be more like a buddy, a confidant and someone you're 'used' to (in a good sense). While we all are brothers and sisters in Christ, a potential marriage partner ideally would have shared interests, love of God and a little spice wouldn't hurt, ie appeal. Be Godly but don't be an open book, lol.,
O.k. fine, I thought about it some more and have you prayed about it?
I think the real question is, why haven't I found my match yet? Would you should be thinking is, does God feel I'm ready for a relationship, or what's God's will for my life regarding relationships?
Philippians 4:6
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
I think the real question is, why haven't I found my match yet? Would you should be thinking is, does God feel I'm ready for a relationship, or what's God's will for my life regarding relationships?
Philippians 4:6
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
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I thought it would be completely obvious Gods will comes first and our relationship with Him. Did Jesus tell all his disciples they had to find wives? Some of them were already married and had to LEAVE their wives. Did Jesus spend all his time and energy 'dating' or courting women? Um I dont think so.
Were Mary and Martha like sisters to Jesus, Yes so OP what is so dreaded about being a sister?
Jesus own mother and brothers stood outside wanting to speak with him.
Who is my mother ? And who are my brothers ? He pointed to his disciples. Those that do the will of my Father in heaven are the same as my, brother sister and mother Jesus said.
Notice he said SISTER.
Again, what is so wrong with being a sister. Are we going to be married in heaven? Nope. what is your faith in, being married or being true to God? a lot of people are so concerned with everything to be comfortable on earth that they are prepared to throw away the heavenly kingdom for the temporary earthly one.
sorry i just had to say it cos if theres anything thats starting to annoy me is the number of 'I wanna not be single NOW' posts flooding the christian single forum that its not funny anymore. Its tragic.
It actually makes a mockery of our faith when you think about it. Christians cant be satisfied with God unless they have a spouse? .
Were Mary and Martha like sisters to Jesus, Yes so OP what is so dreaded about being a sister?
Jesus own mother and brothers stood outside wanting to speak with him.
Who is my mother ? And who are my brothers ? He pointed to his disciples. Those that do the will of my Father in heaven are the same as my, brother sister and mother Jesus said.
Notice he said SISTER.
Again, what is so wrong with being a sister. Are we going to be married in heaven? Nope. what is your faith in, being married or being true to God? a lot of people are so concerned with everything to be comfortable on earth that they are prepared to throw away the heavenly kingdom for the temporary earthly one.
sorry i just had to say it cos if theres anything thats starting to annoy me is the number of 'I wanna not be single NOW' posts flooding the christian single forum that its not funny anymore. Its tragic.
It actually makes a mockery of our faith when you think about it. Christians cant be satisfied with God unless they have a spouse? .
