So... if you're anything like me, (which I wholly acknowledge not everyone is lol) you might have been brought up in a heavily sheltered home where censorship was key (anything the slightest bit liberal or even mentioning witchcraft was a no-no), and a specific line of Christian teachings was the absolute, non-negotiable go-to.
In this one specific area, I'd like to focus on the topic of Chasity.
A little while back, I saw a couple of entries in a Catholic community on Tumblr. One was where a woman, who is now a wife and mom, was talking about how she was raped when she was younger. She basically said that she found some aspects of purity culture to be highly offensive and hurtful, because it can turn into a form of idolatry in of itself. Like... if people place a great emphasis on "getting a spouse who is pure, who has been saving himself/herself for me alone", in a way.... while that IS important, depending on what your beliefs are... it also reduces a person to their bodily organs.
In the end, I guess what I'm trying to get at here is....
When you really think about it on a deep level... what are any of our expectations or requirements, subconscious or otherwise, when we look to what we'd want in a potential life-partner?
In many ways, I basically dreamed when I was young that God had hand-picked someone for me and would keep that person perfectly pure... maybe sorta like a well-preserved porcelain doll or something until I was old enough to be presented with the person, and I'd barely even have to lift a finger, because... surely I was great enough just the way I was, and I was prepared to receive, not work at anything or give much of anything of myself.
But, especially in this day and age... well, I'm actually finding that it was easier to find someone who hasn't been with anyone yet when I was in my younger twenties... dating sites were just full of profiles. But as you get older... and you continue trying to keep your search parameters to those within your age group, you find that some of the people who are looking are either divorced, separated or widowed... or have had at least enough life experience to have slept around a bit.
Thus shatters the naïve, idealistic notion that you can just have your well-preserved porcelain doll.
So I guess my question for discussion in this thread is: What were your original expectations when you set your sights on a prospective, significant other when you were younger? And if you had specific qualifications in mind for how right or pure someone needed to be... has any of that changed? Would you potentially go out with someone if they've slept around or if they've been divorced, or would you prefer to stick to your guns and wait for someone who has been saving themself for a special someone?
I'd like to hear what you guys have to say.
In this one specific area, I'd like to focus on the topic of Chasity.
A little while back, I saw a couple of entries in a Catholic community on Tumblr. One was where a woman, who is now a wife and mom, was talking about how she was raped when she was younger. She basically said that she found some aspects of purity culture to be highly offensive and hurtful, because it can turn into a form of idolatry in of itself. Like... if people place a great emphasis on "getting a spouse who is pure, who has been saving himself/herself for me alone", in a way.... while that IS important, depending on what your beliefs are... it also reduces a person to their bodily organs.
In the end, I guess what I'm trying to get at here is....
When you really think about it on a deep level... what are any of our expectations or requirements, subconscious or otherwise, when we look to what we'd want in a potential life-partner?
In many ways, I basically dreamed when I was young that God had hand-picked someone for me and would keep that person perfectly pure... maybe sorta like a well-preserved porcelain doll or something until I was old enough to be presented with the person, and I'd barely even have to lift a finger, because... surely I was great enough just the way I was, and I was prepared to receive, not work at anything or give much of anything of myself.
But, especially in this day and age... well, I'm actually finding that it was easier to find someone who hasn't been with anyone yet when I was in my younger twenties... dating sites were just full of profiles. But as you get older... and you continue trying to keep your search parameters to those within your age group, you find that some of the people who are looking are either divorced, separated or widowed... or have had at least enough life experience to have slept around a bit.
Thus shatters the naïve, idealistic notion that you can just have your well-preserved porcelain doll.
So I guess my question for discussion in this thread is: What were your original expectations when you set your sights on a prospective, significant other when you were younger? And if you had specific qualifications in mind for how right or pure someone needed to be... has any of that changed? Would you potentially go out with someone if they've slept around or if they've been divorced, or would you prefer to stick to your guns and wait for someone who has been saving themself for a special someone?
I'd like to hear what you guys have to say.
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