I recently discovered the TV show Superstore and am obsessed. It's the perfect balance of wit and intelligence, reminds me of summer camp, and makes me wish I had a close community like that. One character in particular has really struck me, and I feel like he's my soul mate. I know that's ridiculous, it's a parasocial relationship and I don't even believe in soul mates. But I've never seen a more perfect representation of my ideal man, that feels like home, and that I strongly identify with as a person. There's even a storyline involving stars, and certain sentiments and phrases used, that are oddly familiar, and hit incredibly close to home. I basically couldn't write a more perfect character. And I do believe God speaks to me through themes, sometimes through the media. Though I'm not always sure what the message is.
My question is, how unhealthy is it to hold him up as a standard, now that I've finally found a clear representation of what I want, after so much confusion. (So many weird masculine messages out there (superheroes, gym rats, gamers, etc.), and this guy is refreshingly normal and incredibly open, generous, supportive, and vulnerable. It's like I've seen the bar, and I can't compromise. What's the likelihood a real version exists? And why aren't more guys like that? I feel like when I grew up, in the 90s, this was more representative, and guys could be sensitive and whole humans. But now the narrative seems to be all about being weird digital avatars of masculinity, that has nothing to do with being humane, or connecting with women, and is more about proving you're tough, and not gay. As a woman, I find that incredibly immature, one-dimensional, and impossible to connect with. This character is a 180° opposite antidote to that. There are some scenes he's so vulnerable and hurt, I'm floored by my own emotional reactions, as I'm not used to ever seeing men like that, and it's incredibly attractive. Finally, I feel in many Christian circles, we're told to rely on God and deal with emotions in ways that often feel contrived, stunted and suppressed, which increases my feeling and likelihood that I will never connect and meet anyone like that in real life. They just don't exist.
I know this post is kind of silly, but I think a lot of us are being impacted by COVID and what we have access to. And, I'm not a typical anime/ComicCon, etc. fan type, who regularly has parasocial relationships. I do have regular media crushes, but nothing's felt as specific and familiar and wholly perfect as this. (Like the cliché, "when you know, you just know.) It's been both freeing, in the sense that I better understand my type and who I am, and not try to twist myself in knots to please everyone. But also depressing, in that I'm a grown woman in love with a TV character, who likely has no real equal, and even then would probably not reciprocate.
Jacob waited for Rebecca 7 years. Sarah & Elizabeth were barren until they weren't. Job & Joseph were restored. All of those seemed impossible. As little girls we're told to be pure and wait for a Disney Prince. As adults, most women settle for beasts (sorry.) I'm going to keep praying for a "one flesh" miracle. I'd rather stay single than compromise intimacy. My brother has that. (And I know the stats on arranged marriage vs. love marriage, and the number of viable men vs. women, but I also know the stats on divorce - Christian or otherwise.) Is this crazy?
My question is, how unhealthy is it to hold him up as a standard, now that I've finally found a clear representation of what I want, after so much confusion. (So many weird masculine messages out there (superheroes, gym rats, gamers, etc.), and this guy is refreshingly normal and incredibly open, generous, supportive, and vulnerable. It's like I've seen the bar, and I can't compromise. What's the likelihood a real version exists? And why aren't more guys like that? I feel like when I grew up, in the 90s, this was more representative, and guys could be sensitive and whole humans. But now the narrative seems to be all about being weird digital avatars of masculinity, that has nothing to do with being humane, or connecting with women, and is more about proving you're tough, and not gay. As a woman, I find that incredibly immature, one-dimensional, and impossible to connect with. This character is a 180° opposite antidote to that. There are some scenes he's so vulnerable and hurt, I'm floored by my own emotional reactions, as I'm not used to ever seeing men like that, and it's incredibly attractive. Finally, I feel in many Christian circles, we're told to rely on God and deal with emotions in ways that often feel contrived, stunted and suppressed, which increases my feeling and likelihood that I will never connect and meet anyone like that in real life. They just don't exist.
I know this post is kind of silly, but I think a lot of us are being impacted by COVID and what we have access to. And, I'm not a typical anime/ComicCon, etc. fan type, who regularly has parasocial relationships. I do have regular media crushes, but nothing's felt as specific and familiar and wholly perfect as this. (Like the cliché, "when you know, you just know.) It's been both freeing, in the sense that I better understand my type and who I am, and not try to twist myself in knots to please everyone. But also depressing, in that I'm a grown woman in love with a TV character, who likely has no real equal, and even then would probably not reciprocate.
Jacob waited for Rebecca 7 years. Sarah & Elizabeth were barren until they weren't. Job & Joseph were restored. All of those seemed impossible. As little girls we're told to be pure and wait for a Disney Prince. As adults, most women settle for beasts (sorry.) I'm going to keep praying for a "one flesh" miracle. I'd rather stay single than compromise intimacy. My brother has that. (And I know the stats on arranged marriage vs. love marriage, and the number of viable men vs. women, but I also know the stats on divorce - Christian or otherwise.) Is this crazy?
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not knowing that that is normal personality of that user.
