Suicide:

[BillG]

And rufus

 

[BillG]

The addonis handsome man is me

 

[shineyourlight]

1Cor.3:16/17-Know ye not that ye are the temple of God and the Spirit of God dewlleth in you.
1Cor.6:19/20 What? Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost in you,which ye have of God,and ye are not your own?

September 21, 2016 - A day I will never forget. A day that was etched in my memory to this day and a memory I wish I did not have in my life.

I was at work, trying to get the computer charger I left from my Aunt's house because I had an assignment due this day and my laptop was about to die. She texted me yesterday, saying she left it at my parent's for me to pick up. I didn't respond to her text.

When I got home, I was able to get the charger and grabbed my laptop to submit the assignment.

I thought about my Aunt again, for some reason. Didn't think of anything particular, but just thought about her. I was going to text her, and then became preoccupied with Facebook and didn't text.

It was a really good day for me. I accomplished everything. I cleaned my place, cooked dinner, and settled into bed.

But, I couldn't sleep. I was wide awake and it was about 10pm. I was surprised as to why I wasn't tired, because I usually go to bed around 8:30 on weekdays.

I remembered right then to reach out to my Aunt to thank her for the charger. I had seen her two days prior, even though she was acting kind of weird with us. Very distant, very quiet.

I grabbed my phone to text her, but my phone lit up with a caller ID.

It was my Mom.

"Why is Mom calling this late? This is unusual for her," I thought.

Then, I got a sinking feeling. Something must be off.

I answered, "Hello?"

"Katie?" my Mom said, in a quiet, but timid voice.

"Yes, Mom. You know this is me," I said, laughing.

Quiet on the other end.

"Why are you up? This is pretty late for you," I said.

"How's your day?" my Mom said.

"Cut to the chase, Mom. You're scaring me and I don't think you're calling to see how my day was,"

All of a sudden, I hear her crying.

"Honey," she said through tears, "I don't know how to tell you this - but Aunt Nancy killed herself today."

I screamed. I started crying. I was just about to text her, I had my phone LITERAlLY in my hand to reach out to her. I don't remember much after that. I remembered staying up all night, talking to my uncle on the phone since he found her hanging in their new house. I remember calling my boyfriend at that time that night, trying to get a hold of him.

To this day, I'm finally processing things. I'm in therapy, trying to come to terms with her note (it was one sentence and written in 3rd person and very eery), trying to come to terms with her being gone.

I did text her. I texted her a week later after her death. To have that closure. I forgave myself of not texting her the day I thought of her, the day she killed herself.

I am saddened by this loss in my life. I am saddened that she thought people didn't care. I went through a lot of anger and I went through a lot of sadness to get to this place today. <3

 

[Leastamongmany]

September 21, 2016 - A day I will never forget. A day that was etched in my memory to this day and a memory I wish I did not have in my life.

I was at work, trying to get the computer charger I left from my Aunt's house because I had an assignment due this day and my laptop was about to die. She texted me yesterday, saying she left it at my parent's for me to pick up. I didn't respond to her text.

When I got home, I was able to get the charger and grabbed my laptop to submit the assignment.

I thought about my Aunt again, for some reason. Didn't think of anything particular, but just thought about her. I was going to text her, and then became preoccupied with Facebook and didn't text.

It was a really good day for me. I accomplished everything. I cleaned my place, cooked dinner, and settled into bed.

But, I couldn't sleep. I was wide awake and it was about 10pm. I was surprised as to why I wasn't tired, because I usually go to bed around 8:30 on weekdays.

I remembered right then to reach out to my Aunt to thank her for the charger. I had seen her two days prior, even though she was acting kind of weird with us. Very distant, very quiet.

I grabbed my phone to text her, but my phone lit up with a caller ID.

It was my Mom.

"Why is Mom calling this late? This is unusual for her," I thought.

Then, I got a sinking feeling. Something must be off.

I answered, "Hello?"

"Katie?" my Mom said, in a quiet, but timid voice.

"Yes, Mom. You know this is me," I said, laughing.

Quiet on the other end.

"Why are you up? This is pretty late for you," I said.

"How's your day?" my Mom said.

"Cut to the chase, Mom. You're scaring me and I don't think you're calling to see how my day was,"

All of a sudden, I hear her crying.

"Honey," she said through tears, "I don't know how to tell you this - but Aunt Nancy killed herself today."

I screamed. I started crying. I was just about to text her, I had my phone LITERAlLY in my hand to reach out to her. I don't remember much after that. I remembered staying up all night, talking to my uncle on the phone since he found her hanging in their new house. I remember calling my boyfriend at that time that night, trying to get a hold of him.

To this day, I'm finally processing things. I'm in therapy, trying to come to terms with her note (it was one sentence and written in 3rd person and very eery), trying to come to terms with her being gone.

I did text her. I texted her a week later after her death. To have that closure. I forgave myself of not texting her the day I thought of her, the day she killed herself.

I am saddened by this loss in my life. I am saddened that she thought people didn't care. I went through a lot of anger and I went through a lot of sadness to get to this place today. <3

I am so very sorry! I am glad you reached out for help in your own healing! When I last saw my son he was lying on the couch petting his dog.........there is soooooo much I wish I had said to him. The next morning ,he was gone,he died in His sleep. I know it's not the same as someone taking their own life,but death is death........And the guilt of I wish I had have done are the same. I pray this thread will help us all come to some comfort in our losses and encourage those who are thinking it's not worth it to change their minds!

 

[Sipsey]

I am so very sorry! I am glad you reached out for help in your own healing! When I last saw my son he was lying on the couch petting his dog.........there is soooooo much I wish I had said to him. The next morning ,he was gone,he died in His sleep. I know it's not the same as someone taking their own life,but death is death........And the guilt of I wish I had have done are the same. I pray this thread will help us all come to some comfort in our losses and encourage those who are thinking it's not worth it to change their minds!

Forgiveness seems to play a big part in our healing. Sometimes it’s easier to forgive others, than it is ourselves.

 

[17Bees]

September 21, 2016 - A day I will never forget. A day that was etched in my memory to this day and a memory I wish I did not have in my life.

I was at work, trying to get the computer charger I left from my Aunt's house because I had an assignment due this day and my laptop was about to die. She texted me yesterday, saying she left it at my parent's for me to pick up. I didn't respond to her text.

When I got home, I was able to get the charger and grabbed my laptop to submit the assignment.

I thought about my Aunt again, for some reason. Didn't think of anything particular, but just thought about her. I was going to text her, and then became preoccupied with Facebook and didn't text.

It was a really good day for me. I accomplished everything. I cleaned my place, cooked dinner, and settled into bed.

But, I couldn't sleep. I was wide awake and it was about 10pm. I was surprised as to why I wasn't tired, because I usually go to bed around 8:30 on weekdays.

I remembered right then to reach out to my Aunt to thank her for the charger. I had seen her two days prior, even though she was acting kind of weird with us. Very distant, very quiet.

I grabbed my phone to text her, but my phone lit up with a caller ID.

It was my Mom.

"Why is Mom calling this late? This is unusual for her," I thought.

Then, I got a sinking feeling. Something must be off.

I answered, "Hello?"

"Katie?" my Mom said, in a quiet, but timid voice.

"Yes, Mom. You know this is me," I said, laughing.

Quiet on the other end.

"Why are you up? This is pretty late for you," I said.

"How's your day?" my Mom said.

"Cut to the chase, Mom. You're scaring me and I don't think you're calling to see how my day was,"

All of a sudden, I hear her crying.

"Honey," she said through tears, "I don't know how to tell you this - but Aunt Nancy killed herself today."

I screamed. I started crying. I was just about to text her, I had my phone LITERAlLY in my hand to reach out to her. I don't remember much after that. I remembered staying up all night, talking to my uncle on the phone since he found her hanging in their new house. I remember calling my boyfriend at that time that night, trying to get a hold of him.

To this day, I'm finally processing things. I'm in therapy, trying to come to terms with her note (it was one sentence and written in 3rd person and very eery), trying to come to terms with her being gone.

I did text her. I texted her a week later after her death. To have that closure. I forgave myself of not texting her the day I thought of her, the day she killed herself.

I am saddened by this loss in my life. I am saddened that she thought people didn't care. I went through a lot of anger and I went through a lot of sadness to get to this place today. <3

This is such a sad and shocking story. The shock of unthinkable suicide brings an experience to loved ones that is undefinable. It's like the seven stages of grief hits you all at once. No - I take that back. It's more like the first six. Not the seventh - acceptance. That one you're cheated of. Forever.

My experience was with a phone call too. The memory that plays in half speed over and over again. You even recounted the timidity in your mother's voice as I recall the strain in my friend's voice. The nuances, the moth on the wall, the schism in your heart, you remember it all.

Here's the bottom line for me. It wasn't me making that choice. It was an entirely different being with a whole different set of parameters with unfathomable perspectives making suicide the only choice they had. Could you have texted your Aunt and saved her? Could I have told my friend I thought of him as a pure artist? Had we or someone like us saved them the day before?

 

[Leastamongmany]

Forgiveness seems to play a big part in our healing. Sometimes it’s easier to forgive others, than it is ourselves.

I do agree with this..sometimes we swim in a sea of gulit and ride a horse of regrets!

 

[GSS]

Thank you for your input, Bill, on the EMDR. Scary! Good to know. Sounds like one of those things where a person might need to follow thru' for a long time and not just be left hanging after things have gotten stirred up inside them. Glad I mentioned it because that's the first feedback I've gotten about it. I hope your brother and employee find the kind of help they need. Jesus first and foremost.

Well my introduction to Christian Chat has been quite a day. Thank you for your kind words... and your doggie is really cute.

And thank you, leastamongmany for your welcome also.

 

[Jackson123]

September 21, 2016 - A day I will never forget. A day that was etched in my memory to this day and a memory I wish I did not have in my life.

I was at work, trying to get the computer charger I left from my Aunt's house because I had an assignment due this day and my laptop was about to die. She texted me yesterday, saying she left it at my parent's for me to pick up. I didn't respond to her text.

When I got home, I was able to get the charger and grabbed my laptop to submit the assignment.

I thought about my Aunt again, for some reason. Didn't think of anything particular, but just thought about her. I was going to text her, and then became preoccupied with Facebook and didn't text.

It was a really good day for me. I accomplished everything. I cleaned my place, cooked dinner, and settled into bed.

But, I couldn't sleep. I was wide awake and it was about 10pm. I was surprised as to why I wasn't tired, because I usually go to bed around 8:30 on weekdays.

I remembered right then to reach out to my Aunt to thank her for the charger. I had seen her two days prior, even though she was acting kind of weird with us. Very distant, very quiet.

I grabbed my phone to text her, but my phone lit up with a caller ID.

It was my Mom.

"Why is Mom calling this late? This is unusual for her," I thought.

Then, I got a sinking feeling. Something must be off.

I answered, "Hello?"

"Katie?" my Mom said, in a quiet, but timid voice.

"Yes, Mom. You know this is me," I said, laughing.

Quiet on the other end.

"Why are you up? This is pretty late for you," I said.

"How's your day?" my Mom said.

"Cut to the chase, Mom. You're scaring me and I don't think you're calling to see how my day was,"

All of a sudden, I hear her crying.

"Honey," she said through tears, "I don't know how to tell you this - but Aunt Nancy killed herself today."

I screamed. I started crying. I was just about to text her, I had my phone LITERAlLY in my hand to reach out to her. I don't remember much after that. I remembered staying up all night, talking to my uncle on the phone since he found her hanging in their new house. I remember calling my boyfriend at that time that night, trying to get a hold of him.

To this day, I'm finally processing things. I'm in therapy, trying to come to terms with her note (it was one sentence and written in 3rd person and very eery), trying to come to terms with her being gone.

I did text her. I texted her a week later after her death. To have that closure. I forgave myself of not texting her the day I thought of her, the day she killed herself.

I am saddened by this loss in my life. I am saddened that she thought people didn't care. I went through a lot of anger and I went through a lot of sadness to get to this place today. <3

I am Sorry to hear that story, life is not easy. A Lot of problem we have to face, some time we think It is Beyonce our ability and we tink the only way is kill ourself.

Some time I am in the situation where the only solution is pray and fasting

 

[Lanolin]

We have one of the highest suicide rates for youth in nz. Especially sad when someone young chooses to kill themselves. But then even the old people want to do it and they trying to make it legal for assisted suicide..by euthansaisa or poison.

In Japan, the mindset is, its ok to do it if you are not successful in landing a comfortable job. Their culture is such that they want only the fittest to survive, and that is what Darwin tried to call 'natural selection' and what many people want in their countries via eugenics.

Jesus was given suicidal thoughts by Satan when he tried to get him to throw himself off the temple. I think with some that entertain thoughts like that they want to see if they can really do it. But Jesus said dont tempt the Lord your God.

Speak life, not death. Death and life are in the power of the tongue.
Choose life and blessing, not death and cursing.

 

[Nehemiah6]

We have one of the highest suicide rates for youth in nz.

That is quite shocking and disturbing. NZ is almost equated with Paradise by many people. So what might be missing is a strong Christian presence or influence (and conversely a strong demonic presence). After all the Prime Minister of NZ was recently all broken up about an attack on Muslims in Christchurch, but never showed any outrage while Christians were being attacked daily by Muslims.

 

[BillG]

I am so very sorry! I am glad you reached out for help in your own healing! When I last saw my son he was lying on the couch petting his dog.........there is soooooo much I wish I had said to him. The next morning ,he was gone,he died in His sleep. I know it's not the same as someone taking their own life,but death is death........And the guilt of I wish I had have done are the same. I pray this thread will help us all come to some comfort in our losses and encourage those who are thinking it's not worth it to change their minds!

@Leastamongmany

I want to respond but not sure how to.
Your loss breaks my heart and fills me with pain.
I can't say I feel the pain you have.
I have not experienced what you have but I thought I would before my first child was born. I won't go into it.

I'm not sure if I can bring you comfort here.

The only comfort I think I can offer you is that if me and my wife knew you personally we would be with you and walk with you.

I'm not going to try a psychological analysis here.
But you have nothing to feel guilty about here.
You loved your son.
Sudden death brings around a range of emotions, those being what we did not say or do.

I pray the same as you.
I further pray that actually this thread can be a safe place for comfort and honesty without fear or condemnation, or rejection.

Jesus you came to heal the wounded the broken hearted and those whose experiences have bound them in chains.

I want to offer @Leastamongmany.

Holy Spirit, release and heal her of the guilt that she has.
May she know that the tears she sheds you catch every one of them.

Father bless you my prescious sister in Jesus.

 

[BillG]

September 21, 2016 - A day I will never forget. A day that was etched in my memory to this day and a memory I wish I did not have in my life.

I was at work, trying to get the computer charger I left from my Aunt's house because I had an assignment due this day and my laptop was about to die. She texted me yesterday, saying she left it at my parent's for me to pick up. I didn't respond to her text.

When I got home, I was able to get the charger and grabbed my laptop to submit the assignment.

I thought about my Aunt again, for some reason. Didn't think of anything particular, but just thought about her. I was going to text her, and then became preoccupied with Facebook and didn't text.

It was a really good day for me. I accomplished everything. I cleaned my place, cooked dinner, and settled into bed.

But, I couldn't sleep. I was wide awake and it was about 10pm. I was surprised as to why I wasn't tired, because I usually go to bed around 8:30 on weekdays.

I remembered right then to reach out to my Aunt to thank her for the charger. I had seen her two days prior, even though she was acting kind of weird with us. Very distant, very quiet.

I grabbed my phone to text her, but my phone lit up with a caller ID.

It was my Mom.

"Why is Mom calling this late? This is unusual for her," I thought.

Then, I got a sinking feeling. Something must be off.

I answered, "Hello?"

"Katie?" my Mom said, in a quiet, but timid voice.

"Yes, Mom. You know this is me," I said, laughing.

Quiet on the other end.

"Why are you up? This is pretty late for you," I said.

"How's your day?" my Mom said.

"Cut to the chase, Mom. You're scaring me and I don't think you're calling to see how my day was,"

All of a sudden, I hear her crying.

"Honey," she said through tears, "I don't know how to tell you this - but Aunt Nancy killed herself today."

I screamed. I started crying. I was just about to text her, I had my phone LITERAlLY in my hand to reach out to her. I don't remember much after that. I remembered staying up all night, talking to my uncle on the phone since he found her hanging in their new house. I remember calling my boyfriend at that time that night, trying to get a hold of him.

To this day, I'm finally processing things. I'm in therapy, trying to come to terms with her note (it was one sentence and written in 3rd person and very eery), trying to come to terms with her being gone.

I did text her. I texted her a week later after her death. To have that closure. I forgave myself of not texting her the day I thought of her, the day she killed herself.

I am saddened by this loss in my life. I am saddened that she thought people didn't care. I went through a lot of anger and I went through a lot of sadness to get to this place today. <3

Are you still struggling with this sister?

If so how so?

It may help us to direct our prayers for you.

 

[shineyourlight]

Are you still struggling with this sister?

If so how so?

It may help us to direct our prayers for you.

What do you mean? Lol. I'm not suicidal, if that's what you are asking.

 

[shineyourlight]

I am so very sorry! I am glad you reached out for help in your own healing! When I last saw my son he was lying on the couch petting his dog.........there is soooooo much I wish I had said to him. The next morning ,he was gone,he died in His sleep. I know it's not the same as someone taking their own life,but death is death........And the guilt of I wish I had have done are the same. I pray this thread will help us all come to some comfort in our losses and encourage those who are thinking it's not worth it to change their minds!

You are right: Death is death and there is sometimes that guilty feeling people experience when dealing with the loss of someone. I am very sorry to hear about your son <3

 

[shineyourlight]

This is such a sad and shocking story. The shock of unthinkable suicide brings an experience to loved ones that is undefinable. It's like the seven stages of grief hits you all at once. No - I take that back. It's more like the first six. Not the seventh - acceptance. That one you're cheated of. Forever.

My experience was with a phone call too. The memory that plays in half speed over and over again. You even recounted the timidity in your mother's voice as I recall the strain in my friend's voice. The nuances, the moth on the wall, the schism in your heart, you remember it all.

Here's the bottom line for me. It wasn't me making that choice. It was an entirely different being with a whole different set of parameters with unfathomable perspectives making suicide the only choice they had. Could you have texted your Aunt and saved her? Could I have told my friend I thought of him as a pure artist? Had we or someone like us saved them the day before?

Yes, those are questions I asked myself. I am trying to come with grips of accepting that I won't ever know the answer.

 

[BillG]

What do you mean? Lol. I'm not suicidal, if that's what you are asking.

I did read it.

Sorry if I got it wrong.
Wasn't saying you was suicidal.

My focus went to the post you made below

To this day, I'm finally processing things. I'm in therapy, trying to come to terms with her note (it was one sentence and written in 3rd person and very eery), trying to come to terms with her being gone.

In therapy.

 

[Tx77]

I agree that only God can answer this question. I lost my husband to suicide 13 years ago, my niece the following year. Only God knows the final moments and the heart of a person. This subject has to be handled very carefully as to not make it seem that it is a viable solution and God will understand. I have to go to the thought of what if......in a moment of absolute despair and loss, call it temporary insanity if you will, let's say someone suffered something absolutely unbearable and took their life in that moment of irrational thinking - are they condemned to hell or does God know their heart. I have always believed it was a one way ticket to hell until I lost people dear to me that I knew were trying to seek God and were starting their journey and then all of a sudden they were gone. It is a tool of Satan no doubt, but only God can judge anyone for any sin as to where they will spend eternity. We do not have the ability to see past the outward appearance. Only God Himself knows the thoughts and intent of one's heart so I just leave it to Him to decide who goes to Heaven or Hell. I apply this to all sins - and I will repeat we never know the last moments of someone's life.

 

[Leastamongmany]

You are right: Death is death and there is sometimes that guilty feeling people experience when dealing with the loss of someone. I am very sorry to hear about your son <3

Thank you so much! We must bear one another's burdens. You never know what another person is going thru it we close ourselves off. I pray that all should be saved,I am so thankful my son was born again when the Lord took him. Blessings!

 

[blue_ladybug]

What about the ones who have absolutely no choice in the matter? Such as the people stuck in the twin towers on 9/11, who chose to jump rather than be disintegrated with the buildings when they fell?

Edit: if I had been there that day, I would have jumped, because God knows my heart and He knows I wouldn't commit suicide unless there were no other choice.