struggling with singleness

[MsMediator]

Too much suffering in this world I wouldn't want to bring innocent souls into this without their permission. Just my personal view on it

I have thought like this sometimes, as there is a lot of sin and suffering in this world. For the childless person, this view can sometimes provide relief as we are not introducing someone into this world. However, now I generally believe that one should follow what naturally happens. If a couple falls in love, they should get married, and if they have kids, so be it. All this within reason, as long as the couple is financially able. I don't think a couple should intentionally have kids and have others/taxpayers help pay for the increasing number of children. Is this view in line with Christianity? Certain scenarios are more understandable, such as with the single mom who was unexpectedly divorced or spoused passed away, etc. (widows, orphans, etc.).

 

[shittim]

"falling in love", may be a decision based on emotion, not reason. We are to take all things to Him for His guidance, He always has the best plan, too many rely on emotion, feelings change, finding His plan for our lives and walking it out doesn't. Could this be why the divorce rate is so high in the
U.S.?

 

[shittim]

Knew of a lady from India, 5th generation Christian family, her parents selected her husband when she was a child, she said "you grow in love, not fall in love".

 

[Ballaurena]

I've been single for over a year and I sometimes need to be reminded that I'm not alone.

 

[MsMediator]

Knew of a lady from India, 5th generation Christian family, her parents selected her husband when she was a child, she said "you grow in love, not fall in love".

Same with western marriages, I think there are both loving and loveless arranged marriages. It is really dependent on how the husband is in the arranged marriages (is he abusive, is he nice, etc.), the wives are more or less the same being submissive.

 

[shittim]

Any two people (a man and woman of course) can make a marriage work if the both want to.

 

[Wait4me]

Curious, why is that? If it is not too personal.

I don't have the desire to want kids.

 

[shittim]

Had mine, that season of life is over, grand babies are growing and grown (2) and are a joy here and will be in eternity.
Any want a person has to nurture provide love can be expressed 24/7/365 in a multitude of areas as He gives direction.The world is full of opportunities to share the love of our Lord and Savior.
blessings

 

[Magenta]

I don't have the desire to want kids.

Bringing up children is one of the biggest of all responsibilities a person can take on, and if it is not for you? Kudos to you for admitting it. Many grow up just assuming it is what they want, but the reality of raising kids and having a family of your own can be vastly different from the fantasy... also, your name reminds me of when I was a kid... I come from a family of eleven children, and so as we grew up we moved through different bedrooms in our family home. For instance, when I was very small but out of a crib, as younger sisters came along, three of us slept in the same bed. Then as I got a little older, I moved into a bedroom where I slept with my next oldest sister. That room had a window that faced looking out onto the sidewalk angling away, and sometimes when I saw someone walking up the street, I would call out from the window, "Hey, wait for me!" I always got a kick out of when the person stopped and looked around for the person wanting them to wait. Sometimes they would wait a few seconds, and then carry on. LOL. Thanks for reminding me! I still laugh about it...

 

[Magenta]

Sixty years later I am still laughing .

 

[saved_4life]

I've been single for over a year and I sometimes need to be reminded that I'm not alone.

Hi
I'm Mark new on here, yes you're right, you're not alone as long you have christ in your life.. and know that He do care for you no matter the situation and struggle.. have a blessed weekend

 

[tourist]

Ook ik ben single tegenwoordig heb ik ermee leren leven ik zie de voordelen ervan

Okie dokey artichokey.

 

[ForgiveMeGod]

View attachment 271895

Jesus: single
Paul: single
John?: single

Some of the greats

Me? Single?: no

I had my John, Jesus and Paul seasons. Those seasons will get anyone ready for marriage. You begin to trust God more and realize that He has your best interest in heart. Like, everything you do and touch is blessed because of you going through those seasons.

While everyone’s houses were burning down in the county I live in this past week. I had no care in the world because I know that God is protecting me. I only looked outside once, the whole week. I even got emergency alerts telling me to evacuate my home because my house was potentially going to burn to the ground. I spent my days working on my music, setting up my music artist social media accounts, making playlists on different music streaming sites, designing my artist profiles on different streaming services and talking to my future wife, because that is how much I trust God. When you have that type of trust in God’s predestination for you, you are unstoppable and you won’t be afraid of marriage.

 

[Ballaurena]

Jesus: single
Paul: single
John?: single

Some of the greats

Me? Single?: no

I had my John, Jesus and Paul seasons. Those seasons will get anyone ready for marriage. You begin to trust God more and realize that He has your best interest in heart. Like, everything you do and touch is blessed because of you going through those seasons.

While everyone’s houses were burning down in the county I live in this past week. I had no care in the world because I know that God is protecting me. I only looked outside once, the whole week. I even got emergency alerts telling me to evacuate my home because my house was potentially going to burn to the ground. I spent my days working on my music, setting up my music artist social media accounts, making playlists on different music streaming sites, designing my artist profiles on different streaming services and talking to my future wife, because that is how much I trust God. When you have that type of trust in God’s predestination for you, you are unstoppable and you won’t be afraid of marriage.

Thanks for the notes about singleness. You have some thoughtful points.

I can't help but appreciate, though, that you are living something I was speaking of in the last hour or two. God has been emphasizing Psalm 91 in our home lately, and that when you truly put your trust in Him there are amazing protections. One of the verses is about having a thousand fallen at one side and 10,000 on the other side and it not coming near to you. There are always a few houses in natural disasters that somehow get missed and it makes me wonder how often those are the people that are trusting God. I was particularly thinking of it because we were watching a newscast the other day where a synagogue was spared in the midst of the destruction and the lady was bawling over God's amazing faithfulness.

Not wanting to misrepresent things though, there is also the passage in the Old Testament about Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego being thrown into the fiery furnace (not that different from your own trial). As my roommate frequently reminds me, they said their God could protect them but even if he didn't they wouldn't worship the idol. The point being that sometimes his provision doesn't look like we expect, but we can still trust in his goodness and faithfulness.

And, keep going about your music and such unless God shows you otherwise. Another part of Psalm 91 is that God knows your ways and looks after you in them. The implication being that you don't have to worry as you live life - He's got your back.

 

[ForgiveMeGod]

Thanks for the notes about singleness. You have some thoughtful points.

I can't help but appreciate, though, that you are living something I was speaking of in the last hour or two. God has been emphasizing Psalm 91 in our home lately, and that when you truly put your trust in Him there are amazing protections. One of the verses is about having a thousand fallen at one side and 10,000 on the other side and it not coming near to you. There are always a few houses in natural disasters that somehow get missed and it makes me wonder how often those are the people that are trusting God. I was particularly thinking of it because we were watching a newscast the other day where a synagogue was spared in the midst of the destruction and the lady was bawling over God's amazing faithfulness.

Not wanting to misrepresent things though, there is also the passage in the Old Testament about Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego being thrown into the fiery furnace (not that different from your own trial). As my roommate frequently reminds me, they said their God could protect them but even if he didn't they wouldn't worship the idol. The point being that sometimes his provision doesn't look like we expect, but we can still trust in his goodness and faithfulness.

And, keep going about your music and such unless God shows you otherwise. Another part of Psalm 91 is that God knows your ways and looks after you in them. The implication being that you don't have to worry as you live life - He's got your back.

I believe that most of the people’s whose houses caught on fire, do not put God first. Literally every single day, my future wife and I, me especially, put around 3 hours a day spending time with God when we wake up. She lives in Oklahoma, so I don’t know how long she spends time with Him but according to her, she has been spending time with God, every morning for the last 7 years. We take our Faith very seriously and at the same time, have a lot of fun. Relationships are just not as hard when people find the right person. Stop listening to what the world is trying to tell you and listen to God, period. The world gives advice like a loser trying to impress a winner. You are all winners. So trust God and listen to Him. The more you trust God, the more you’ll trust yourself.

 

[ThereRoseaLamb]

Bringing up children is one of the biggest of all responsibilities a person can take on, and if it is not for you? Kudos to you for admitting it. Many grow up just assuming it is what they want, but the reality of raising kids and having a family of your own can be vastly different from the fantasy... also, your name reminds me of when I was a kid... I come from a family of eleven children, and so as we grew up we moved through different bedrooms in our family home. For instance, when I was very small but out of a crib, as younger sisters came along, three of us slept in the same bed. Then as I got a little older, I moved into a bedroom where I slept with my next oldest sister. That room had a window that faced looking out onto the sidewalk angling away, and sometimes when I saw someone walking up the street, I would call out from the window, "Hey, wait for me!" I always got a kick out of when the person stopped and looked around for the person wanting them to wait. Sometimes they would wait a few seconds, and then carry on. LOL. Thanks for reminding me! I still laugh about it...

Eleven?? Your mother must have had the patience of Job. That's a lot of work. There are only two in my family, my younger sister and I. I have always wished I was from a larger family. We had cousins that were like brothers and sisters but I love holidays with lots of family. I live too far from cousins now to get together.

As to the OP I know being single can be hard. But it's not as hard as being stuck in a bad marriage. It's better to not run ahead of God and try to fill your life with ministry or service to Him until that special person comes along, you will be glad you did.

 

[Sidney]

I have been single for my entire adult life.

 

[Magenta]

Eleven?? Your mother must have had the patience of Job. That's a lot of work. There are only two in my family, my younger sister and I. I have always wished I was from a larger family. We had cousins that were like brothers and sisters but I love holidays with lots of family. I live too far from cousins now to get together.

As to the OP I know being single can be hard. But it's not as hard as being stuck in a bad marriage. It's better to not run ahead of God and try to fill your life with ministry or service to Him until that special person comes along, you will be glad you did.

Good morning! .. My siblings and I are largely of like mind when it comes to our mother, as we are all somewhat in awe of how she managed! Of course the oldest two sisters did help mind the younger ones as they came along and so did my oldest two brothers... Just as I helped mind my younger sisters as they came along. We also had a lot of aunts and uncles and cousins and spent a air amount of time with them on weekends and holidays... with Christmas and Thanksgiving being especially large. We were always doing something, and I have many fond memories of summer picnics at one lake or another... or in the yard of friends of my parents. It was a going concern to be sure... and I agree with you about what you have said regarding being single compared to being stuck in a bad relationship...

 

[Ballaurena]

I believe that most of the people’s whose houses caught on fire, do not put God first. Literally every single day, my future wife and I, me especially, put around 3 hours a day spending time with God when we wake up. She lives in Oklahoma, so I don’t know how long she spends time with Him but according to her, she has been spending time with God, every morning for the last 7 years. We take our Faith very seriously and at the same time, have a lot of fun. Relationships are just not as hard when people find the right person. Stop listening to what the world is trying to tell you and listen to God, period. The world gives advice like a loser trying to impress a winner. You are all winners. So trust God and listen to Him. The more you trust God, the more you’ll trust yourself.

I do wonder about the rate of people that who put their hope in God losing their homes (if any). What we know is that "all things work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28). Generally that seems to mean God does keep us from trouble, as Psalm 91 discussed, but God does seem to allow it on occasion for His purposes. For example, I once heard a story of a pastor in Florida who God told to buy a house on the water. He did and soon after a hurricane destroyed it. When he asked God about it, God indicated that he wouldn't have been able to shepherd his flock through the disaster if he didn't experience it with them. Yet when God does take His faithful through those valleys of the shadow of death, He goes with them.

And yes, the wisdom (advice) of this world is so totally different from that of God.

 

[jude]

I have been single for most of my life... i am 78 . Widowed at 19 and then widowed again at age 25 and stayed single for so many years and then remarried again at age 40 . widowed again at age 52..... If not for Gods faithfulness i could not have survived... but here i am at age 78 and still living alone.... I did remarry at age 67 , sorry to say he was an abuser. divorced at age 76 . I live alone and will be alone with Jesus till he takes me home to Glory... I go to church, visit my kids and have my friends who i go out to dinner with and play Yatzee and other games.. ha ha ha My advice is to trust God !! I know it is hard to be alone . It is hard when your young and its still hard when your old... but life is a gift to be enjoyed.... Jesus wants us to have life more abuntendly ..... sometimes we just need to wait on God... just LIVE and everything else will fall into place... God Bless you .