Struggles

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tennisgirl16

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I've been struggling a lot with my faith lately. This whole year has been tough, and while I know that that's no reason to grow away from God and my faith, it definitely has led me to that. I've struggled with the fact that my co-worker was killed at age 16 by her boyfriend in March. Before that I struggled with my classmate collapsing on the basketball court during a game (thankfully, he lived. He's actually back in school!). I just, I've had problems being close to God. I know God exists, I've just pushed him away. To be honest, I'm really bitter towards him. I don't understand why he'd put one community through so much in such a little time (there's more than what I listed). I also, I still don't understand why he'd take my coworker away. I know he has a plan for everything, but to be completely honest, I'm not the biggest fan of his plan right now. So yeah, I've been struggling with all of that lately. I've fooled people into believing that I'm fine with my faith, but I'm really not. I'm sick of feeling like this. I feel like I'm living for no reason at all. I've started cutting myself because I just can't stand myself. I push people away, because I'm too afraid to get close to them... I think something is going to happen to them which will hurt me even more. I just... I don't even know what I'm asking in this post... I just need advice. I need to change how I live, I just don't know where to start.
 
God is not evil and I know there are people that think that God does these things but God did not bring death into the world and it is not his will that any perish.

James 1:12-17 "Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him. let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man: But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death. Do not err, my beloved brethren. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning."

God is not a child abuser and he is not the one who causes death. Sin came by Adam and death by sin. No problem that we have was God's will but it's God's will that we endure those problems and put up our shield of faith which will be able to quench the fiery darts of the Wicked one. God is not the wicked one, that's satan that throws those darts at you. Have faith in the creator of the universe who is Jesus Christ who is the image of the invisible God and whose purpose is and was to save you.

John 16:33 "These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world."

These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world."

We can be of good cheer! Because Jesus overcame the world.


Colossians 1:11-20 "Strengthened with all might, according to his glorious power, unto all patience and longsuffering with joyfulness; Giving thanks unto the Father, which hath made us meet to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in light:

Who hath delivered us from the power of darkness, and hath translated us into the kingdom of his dear Son: In whom we have redemption through his blood, even the forgiveness of sins:

Who is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of every creature: For by him were all things created, that are in heaven, and that are in earth, visible and invisible, whether they be thrones, or dominions, or principalities, or powers: all things were created by him, and for him: And he is before all things, and by him all things consist. And he is the head of the body, the church: who is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead; that in all things he might have the preeminence. For it pleased the Father that in him should all fulness dwell; And, having made peace through the blood of his cross, by him to reconcile all things unto himself; by him, I say, whether they be things in earth, or things in heaven."
 
tennisgirl16 said:
I've been struggling a lot with my faith lately. This whole year has been tough, and while I know that that's no reason to grow away from God and my faith, it definitely has led me to that. I've struggled with the fact that my co-worker was killed at age 16 by her boyfriend in March. Before that I struggled with my classmate collapsing on the basketball court during a game (thankfully, he lived. He's actually back in school!). I just, I've had problems being close to God. I know God exists, I've just pushed him away. To be honest, I'm really bitter towards him. I don't understand why he'd put one community through so much in such a little time (there's more than what I listed). I also, I still don't understand why he'd take my coworker away. I know he has a plan for everything, but to be completely honest, I'm not the biggest fan of his plan right now. So yeah, I've been struggling with all of that lately. I've fooled people into believing that I'm fine with my faith, but I'm really not. I'm sick of feeling like this. I feel like I'm living for no reason at all. I've started cutting myself because I just can't stand myself. I push people away, because I'm too afraid to get close to them... I think something is going to happen to them which will hurt me even more. I just... I don't even know what I'm asking in this post... I just need advice. I need to change how I live, I just don't know where to start.
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I agree with Joshua, God has not been doing this and He also does not abandon you, even though you might push Him away, since you are hurt by these situations and the loss of or attack against people that were close to you. People make all kind of bad decisions, murder is a really bad one. The Bible says that satan was a murderer from the beginning. He is behind all this calamity. God does not force us to be with him, he at times has to let things happen, because people made their decisions. He hates it as much as you do and more. Sin always leads to death and innocent people many times suffer from it. We don't always know the detailed circumstances behind why things happen, but one thing is for sure: God is just, even though you might not see it right now. He does a lot more behind the scenes than we see or recognize. A lot of times He gives warnings and people don't heed them. He wants them to come to Him but they reject Him. He wants to protect them, but they walk out of His protecting hand. There is more to this, but don't want to get into this right now...

Cutting is a bad idea. It's an attack of the enemy, you do that and it plays right into satans hands, the one that did all that to your friends to begin with, now he is trying to get to you. He is a bad dude and he is sneaky and deceiving. He messes with your friends and then he has you blame God for it and the result is that he now is trying to "comfort" you in his way with things that are bad for you and lead you to himself away from God (the ONE who can protect you and help you overcome). The devil is just there to kill, steal and destroy, but JESUS came, so you have life and life more abundant. He promised that He has a plan for your life, a good plan, to give you hope and a future.
The devil has a plan for your life also, but his is the one of destruction, to make you miserable and he tells you that God doesn't love you if He makes these things happen to your friends (which actually the devil did) and that He must have rejected you. His plan is leading always to death and it starts with things like cutting and then goes over to worse things (alcohol, drugs, other addictions etc) until he has you where he wants you.
This is not where you want to be.
Start reading your Bible again and listen to God speak to you. HE wants you to come back to Him, He is right there throughout all of it, waiting. Try praying again, just talk to Him, tell Him what and how you feel, ask Him to take away the pain, to engulf you with His love, to show you what awesome things He has planned for you. He listens, He answers, if you come to him with an open heart seeking Him again.
Blessings!
 
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Well Warrior and Joshua have already said most things. Listen, God's will is for every soul to come to repentance, His will is that we may all come to know Him and He has always opened up His arms giving us an opportunity to run into His arms, but many times we run the other way we run into sin and in the end death occurs. Now you can choose to give up control over your life and let Him perfect it so that you can also save the people around you or you can remain and let sin reign where you are now. But which ever way you choose, God still Wins! God still loves you! God still wants you! And God is still faithful and just to forgive all sins. Your world may be broken, but only God can make it beautiful again. God bless
 
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