Streams of Consciousness & Thoughts~~~

[wwjd_kilden]

Ah, I came back from my little get away yesterday afternoon. After so many days in solitude, I just want to grab people and rub my face against theirs, hold someone's hand, laugh until I cry because I made a reference to turtles that makes no sense but to the workings of my mad mind. I want to wear a pretty dress and skip under the street lights with someone, or lots of some ones... or go somewhere where I can hear the chatter of lots of excited people in the background.

I miss having those friends that you can call up at 9 o'clock and go for a night drive, or go to the park with at some ridiculous hour, or is willing to stay up all night to watch an anime series they only finished watching last week with you.

I miss having two hour deep and meaningful conversations.

Sigh... anybody happen to stumble over a teleportation device and is willing to chill out?

If you find one, pick me up! I want to go dancing in the rain with all those people of yours

 

[ww_21]

Hey donkeyfish.... I'm fixing to start on making 3 dozen cupcakes... teleport over here and help me ! I'll pay you in cupcakes.

Will I get a cupcake too if I come over and be donkeyfishes mean boss? No breaks for him till he's done!!! haha

 

[lil_christian]

So on Tuesday, I got some new stuff for my kitty (just essentials like food, food and water dishes, etc.). Last night Dad said he was in the alley, so I called him to our front porch (where he usually is when I see him) and called for my sister asking if she could get him some food. She decided I should get it for him, so she looked after him while I got him food and water. She went back inside, got a box and an old blanket and put the blanket in the box. Soon as she set it down, he sniffed and hopped right in. He got back out because he saw a moth and decided to pursue hunting it. lol He didn't come back for a bit so we decided if he wants it he'll be in there when we get up in the morning. Lo and behold, when I went downstairs, he was in there, and as content as he could be.

 

[MissCris]

Speaking of cats (which I hate), the stray kitty I had been feeding over the winter and set up a little warm bed for...got squished on the highway :/
I don't hate cats so much that I'm not sad when they run out of lives.

 

[Grace-Like-Rain]

Your going down dear. Lets up the stakes, loser buys chocolates. Just like our starcraft bet. Just so you know, I prefer white chocolate over dark. You might as well buy it now .

You are on. And I like my chocolate dark. Or with almonds. Or in the center of a tootsie pop. You get the idea.

 

[kenthomas27]

Speaking of cats (which I hate), the stray kitty I had been feeding over the winter and set up a little warm bed for...got squished on the highway :/
I don't hate cats so much that I'm not sad when they run out of lives.

Getting run over kinda takes all the lives at once, but it's in real slow motion - quite painful for a cat. Most dogs it's thump thump and "Hi Lassie!" but with cats it's more like thump thump "OW!, i'm ok OW i'm ok OW i'm ok. That's why they kinda jump around writhe like they do.

 

[Immawildthing]

Duchess is the French form of a princess.

Does that make me the Wild Country Princess? lol

 

[kenthomas27]

Got a good gig out of smashing cats though for my side business PP Inc. (Perpetual Pets - the Inc is just there to scare people). This poor little feller never saw much traffic on the cul de sac and never even thought about UPS trucks. Anyway, the lady says she heard about my work and says she wants to "make sure that I understand" she wants the cat to look like it did BEFORE the accident.





So...what do you think?

 

[Immawildthing]

Someone might guess I just got engaged or something... lol, I'm not engaged yet, but I'm already planning everything... Man I'm nuts!

 

[lil_christian]

I think slowly but surely my vocal range miiight be expanding a tad. Hopefully when I get to college I can work on that.

 

[iTOREtheSKY]

Hey donkeyfish.... I'm fixing to start on making 3 dozen cupcakes... teleport over here and help me ! I'll pay you in cupcakes.

Don't fall for it dude..she told me the same thing a few hours ago too.

 

[kenthomas27]

This was nice. This afternoon I had to go check this issue with a control panel for a life station (don't ask) and so parked the truck at the street kind of near where the panel is and put on my emergency blinkers. When I got in there, it was a lot more work than anticipated so was there about an hour and came out and the truck was DEAD - wouldn't start. It's a standard transmission so I was on this flat portion of road but about 30' away was a kind of downhill. So I start pushing the truck so I could jump it off (which I had to do from the drivers side door so I'd have some control). There's all these people walking by and some guy walked right in front of the truck so I had to do all I could to stop it. Then two more people walked it front since it was stopped. Then got it going again and finally made it to the downhill part and got a little speed and jumped in and another guy walked right in front and I had to stop! So then had to get back out to push again! Finally started but man - no one helped or even offered! I think I'm invisible and then found another invisible guy about 2 days ago - I was on my way home and looked over and saw this body laying in the grass right on the side of the road! It's a real busy street and hundreds of cars and people walking down the sidewalk but nobody notices the guy laying in the grass maybe 3 feet off the sidewalk?? Anyway I pull behind the building and go check on him and he's obviously homeless and probably drunk but I still leaned over him and yelled for him to wake up because the way he was laying looked like he truly just fell out dead! There wasn't old clothes under his head like you sometimes see - just him laying in the full sun (but it was storming too, that kind of day). Anyway, he had a pulse (which was more than I had about that time of day) so I called 911 and they said they'd come out to get him so when they get there he pops up awake like buoy! They check him out but he won't go with them. Still, though, are some people just invisible? When people have some kind of problem - simple stuff that just requires a temporary hand - are there people that are just not seen?

Then yesterday after I got home I got this lesson in the temporary nature of things. Nature is cruel and in a flash I understood the hardness of heart of innocent animals and sin nature of humans. There's these cats that hang around the house and they're fine and I don't have to do anything for them but I saw one of them pawing at something and acting all spastic so I walk over and one of the cats had a little chipmunk. Well, they weren't killing the thing outright - they were playing with it till it finally would succumb then go eat it - I'd seen it before. So I was shooing the cats off (there were two) and one would take a dive at it and I would stop him from getting the little fellow. This caused a lull in the activity and then this little chipmunk climbed right up on top of my shoe and sat on it in a little ball and closed his eyes. I thought it was so remarkable that this little tiny chipmunk would sit on a foot of something about 200X it's size, but it was either that or face those cats. He was pretty beat up and all I could do was to cup him in my hands (and he didn't get too bent out of shape, just stayed still) and took him over to the barn where there's lots of hay for him to get lost in and he sat in hay for a second then got himself lost.

I know they're going to find him. I'm sure they already have. So in a way (in my line of thinking) the temporary gestures in life only effect a temporary change. The homeless guy is still a drunk, I still need a battery, and the cat's got to eat. Maybe that's why we're invisible to each other.

 

[lil_christian]

I think this cat might take up a lot of my time throughout the day. lol

 

[zeroturbulence]

Speaking of cats (which I hate), the stray kitty I had been feeding over the winter and set up a little warm bed for...got squished on the highway :/
I don't hate cats so much that I'm not sad when they run out of lives.

This makes me sad. Poor poor kitty.

 

[Donkeyfish07]

Don't fall for it dude..she told me the same thing a few hours ago too.

At least she didn't try to go to Narnia without me

 

[Grace-Like-Rain]

This was nice. This afternoon I had to go check this issue with a control panel for a life station (don't ask) and so parked the truck at the street kind of near where the panel is and put on my emergency blinkers. When I got in there, it was a lot more work than anticipated so was there about an hour and came out and the truck was DEAD - wouldn't start. It's a standard transmission so I was on this flat portion of road but about 30' away was a kind of downhill. So I start pushing the truck so I could jump it off (which I had to do from the drivers side door so I'd have some control). There's all these people walking by and some guy walked right in front of the truck so I had to do all I could to stop it. Then two more people walked it front since it was stopped. Then got it going again and finally made it to the downhill part and got a little speed and jumped in and another guy walked right in front and I had to stop! So then had to get back out to push again! Finally started but man - no one helped or even offered! I think I'm invisible and then found another invisible guy about 2 days ago - I was on my way home and looked over and saw this body laying in the grass right on the side of the road! It's a real busy street and hundreds of cars and people walking down the sidewalk but nobody notices the guy laying in the grass maybe 3 feet off the sidewalk?? Anyway I pull behind the building and go check on him and he's obviously homeless and probably drunk but I still leaned over him and yelled for him to wake up because the way he was laying looked like he truly just fell out dead! There wasn't old clothes under his head like you sometimes see - just him laying in the full sun (but it was storming too, that kind of day). Anyway, he had a pulse (which was more than I had about that time of day) so I called 911 and they said they'd come out to get him so when they get there he pops up awake like buoy! They check him out but he won't go with them. Still, though, are some people just invisible? When people have some kind of problem - simple stuff that just requires a temporary hand - are there people that are just not seen?

Then yesterday after I got home I got this lesson in the temporary nature of things. Nature is cruel and in a flash I understood the hardness of heart of innocent animals and sin nature of humans. There's these cats that hang around the house and they're fine and I don't have to do anything for them but I saw one of them pawing at something and acting all spastic so I walk over and one of the cats had a little chipmunk. Well, they weren't killing the thing outright - they were playing with it till it finally would succumb then go eat it - I'd seen it before. So I was shooing the cats off (there were two) and one would take a dive at it and I would stop him from getting the little fellow. This caused a lull in the activity and then this little chipmunk climbed right up on top of my shoe and sat on it in a little ball and closed his eyes. I thought it was so remarkable that this little tiny chipmunk would sit on a foot of something about 200X it's size, but it was either that or face those cats. He was pretty beat up and all I could do was to cup him in my hands (and he didn't get too bent out of shape, just stayed still) and took him over to the barn where there's lots of hay for him to get lost in and he sat in hay for a second then got himself lost.

I know they're going to find him. I'm sure they already have. So in a way (in my line of thinking) the temporary gestures in life only effect a temporary change. The homeless guy is still a drunk, I still need a battery, and the cat's got to eat. Maybe that's why we're invisible to each other.

Thomas, I don't think I've ever seen you write so much at one time. Trying to push-start your truck with all those people in front of it sounds incredibly frustrating. I would have been tempted to run over them. What is wrong with people? We are all so lost in our own world that we don't even think about other people when out in public. I wonder if it's always been that way, or if it's gotten worse with technology advancement.

It was good of you to check on the dead looking guy. I saw a homeless man stumble and fall once as I was driving past, and almost wrecked my car trying to cross several lanes of traffic to pull over and check on him. By the time I got there, he was back up and leaded in another direction. It shocked me that no one else in all that traffic seemed concerned.

Poor little chipmunk. I guess your barn cats are doing their job, but they don't have to enjoy it so much!

 

[Immawildthing]

Okay, so we're not even engaged yet, but I know it's coming up soon, and it's driving me insane not knowing when or how he's going to do it... It's going to be a sweet surprise I'm sure...
I can honestly say I've been on Pinterest all day trying to get all my wedding and engagement stuff figured out (what I really want, and what can go). Thank goodness for Pinterest, because my last reception didn't go so well, mostly because none of it was planned out.
All I have right now is the date for the wedding and the reception. Life is crazy and awesome right now!

 

[iTOREtheSKY]

iTORE Ramblings Vol 7.1

Ever wonder..."How did I get here?" Step by step. Choice by choice. Do thing's just 'happen'?
It certainly feels like it.

Irony of all irony. I've been filling out applications online for various jobs in the city,and even in surrounding cities...those of which I have zero mode of transportation to get to,but yanno...just filling out apps to feel like I'm doing something...trying,I guess. So,of course I get a call for an interview,for a job that even if I was hired for,I could never get to because it's 2 towns away. Oh and the other thing is they wanted me to come in for a group interview on Monday (which is a holiday),and no one I know would even be able to bring me out to this place due to families being all family-like & having cookouts & being three sheets to the wind. I was telling someone this morning that this is all so stupid,my life. I'm 43,this is kinda ridiculous.

I understand why people just give up. It's easy. There's this hope we as believers have in Christ. It's real,but at the same time seems so unreal,almost like a dream. I'm fine with having nothing material,fine with having no one to walk hand & hand with through life,fine with never knowing whatever purpose I am supposed to have.
All I need is God,right?

In 3 years I have gone from having everything to having nothing. Or is the reality of it just the opposite?

What is it that I need to learn? Thing's could be worse. God has used unexpected people to help me. I should be homeless. I could be dead. I have eeked out this new existence through the kindness of others.

I always thought I was a person with a thankful heart...maybe I wasn't as much as I thought. I know now that I am thankful for even a cup of coffee. I took a lot for granted. More than I ever wanted to admit. More than I ever even realized.

One thing now that I am hating is feeling like a burden,or someone that people feel sorry for. I'm not fine with that. The more I think about thing's...the less I find that I am truly fine with. In the past 4 months,there was a 3 week period where I felt like life had promise,hope...I felt at peace. Obviously it wasn't to be at that place & time,but it was nice to have that feeling of belonging & acceptance..of love. I know God loves me...it's just nice when you can see & hear & feel that manifestation of it in other's in person from those He's put in your life.

The old iTORE wants to just pack it all in..call it a day. Watch the sun set one last time & disappear once & for all.
The new iTORE can't shake the promise of hope. Wants to see the dawn of a new day & live life to the fullest.

So here I am...here to stay. I guess the world is stuck with me for a bit longer. For better or worse.

 

[just_monicat]

iTORE Ramblings Vol 7.1
I understand why people just give up. It's easy. There's this hope we as believers have in Christ. It's real,but at the same time seems so unreal,almost like a dream. I'm fine with having nothing material,fine with having no one to walk hand & hand with through life,fine with never knowing whatever purpose I am supposed to have.
All I need is God,right?

In 3 years I have gone from having everything to having nothing. Or is the reality of it just the opposite?

What is it that I need to learn? Thing's could be worse. God has used unexpected people to help me. I should be homeless. I could be dead. I have eeked out this new existence through the kindness of others.

I always thought I was a person with a thankful heart...maybe I wasn't as much as I thought. I know now that I am thankful for even a cup of coffee. I took a lot for granted. More than I ever wanted to admit. More than I ever even realized.

One thing now that I am hating is feeling like a burden,or someone that people feel sorry for. I'm not fine with that. The more I think about thing's...the less I find that I am truly fine with. In the past 4 months,there was a 3 week period where I felt like life had promise,hope...I felt at peace. Obviously it wasn't to be at that place & time,but it was nice to have that feeling of belonging & acceptance..of love. I know God loves me...it's just nice when you can see & hear & feel that manifestation of it in other's in person from those He's put in your life.

The old iTORE wants to just pack it all in..call it a day. Watch the sun set one last time & disappear once & for all.
The new iTORE can't shake the promise of hope. Wants to see the dawn of a new day & live life to the fullest.

So here I am...here to stay. I guess the world is stuck with me for a bit longer. For better or worse.

i am so sorry you're going through this very difficult time.

all i can say to encourage you is that i really do know what it feels like to be at the end of myself, my desire to live, and at the end of wanting to try anymore. in fact, i moved away from people so that i could fade away and just cease to exist. instead, God sent people to love me, and a church body that showed me love and acceptance. that was His design.

most of all, i was so incredibly uncomfortable, even horrified for not being the person that i was formerly proud of.

during that particularly low time in my life, God used it to do the most amazing, transforming work in my life. not in one fell swoop, but in tiny, incremental changes that have changed me and my heart in very profound ways. you will get through this with God.

He's doing a great work in you. He IS enough, and He will continue to love you through many hearts.

*hugs*

 

[kenthomas27]

Grace says: Thomas, I don't think I've ever seen you write so much at one time.

I was lucid around 4. Was that today?