Single and not really wanna mingle...

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Malcyboy

Guest
#1
Hi my name is malcolm and i'm....wait its not AA

anyways, does anyone ever feel like, just cause they are single they are expected to be "single and looking"?
Like I know biblically both single and married are good...but its like all my friends ask if i have a girl in my sights or anything and it really frustrates me as i have no interest in a relationship (of the dating kind) and simply wanting new friends of both genders!!! cause growing up all my friends were females, so looking for male friends as well as well...cant talk to a girl about male issues eh :p

im just frustrated at how i am meant to be longing for a relationship and be looking constantly
 
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Jullianna

Guest
#2
I completely agree with you. I have never felt as though I had to date or be with someone just to be with someone. I actually like being alone most of the time, but I know it bothers some people.

When I REALLY, REALLY like someone, I date. If not, I'm just fine with being alone. :)
 
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abbiejean

Guest
#3
Singleness is okay.

God can and does use a single individual just as much as He does a married couple.

Yes, there’s been times in my life where I’ve long to be with that special someone but I can honestly say right now that I am content in my singleness.

I am not seeking or looking after someone to complete my life or to share my life with. I am complete and whole in Christ Jesus.

I cannot articulate (cuz don’t know how to) what I feel when I say content. But I am. There is not a longing to go after more or to seek after something. God is supplying what I need in Him and because of that, I am fulfilled.
 
May 9, 2012
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#4
Say thank you to Disney for putting this role on their generation. They enforce it like it is some expectation from society. They teach "you're weird if you ain't married" pretty much. If you wanna be single, that's great! If ya wanna be married, GREAT! But don't pressure friends into thinking they are strange simply because they don't want to conform to society's standards. I blame Disney for a lot of the unhappiness of single people because usually single people were just fine without a spouse. Now, people feel burdened with trying to find that perfect companion and i am personally getting tired of it. *rant over*
 
I

IloveyouGod

Guest
#5
Seriously, sometimes I laugh at the too much drama some singles here on CC make for being singles!!!! TRUST me, if your spouse is not Godly enough, you're better off single. At least you're free. And if you're single and you're happy, if anyone tries to talk you out of your happiness, just turn on your wipers and clean your windshield :D
 
May 3, 2013
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#6
Say thank you to Disney for putting this role on their generation. They enforce it like it is some expectation from society. They teach "you're weird if you ain't married" pretty much. If you wanna be single, that's great! If ya wanna be married, GREAT! But don't pressure friends into thinking they are strange simply because they don't want to conform to society's standards. I blame Disney for a lot of the unhappiness of single people because usually single people were just fine without a spouse. Now, people feel burdened with trying to find that perfect companion and i am personally getting tired of it. *rant over*
I don't agree with you and, the only way I could blame Disney is for their promotion of sexual "diversity" and some other things you did not mention.

I double your age and Disney is not responsible (alone) for promoting a role in my generation (since 1961). Those enforced society patterns belong to a consumist society, that one which sold out what gave "her" more benefit$ and, of course, it was TWO parents taking care of their homes and children, not that new singled-parent caring.

Even in marriage some people feel single and feel the need to be mingled.

Perfect companionship is an INDIVIDUAL idea each has assumed or could be dealing to assume.

I just see dogs, cats, birds trying to get warm, like a cold penguin -in their "termical" isolation- and it is us who insist on defending our personal positions.

God never wanted us (men) to be alone. That's why Genesis reminds us He (GOD) made woman for each ADAM (Andrew).
 
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May 9, 2012
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#7
I don't agree with you and, the only way I could blame Disney is for their promotion of sexual "diversity" and some other things you did not mention.

I double your age and Disney is not responsible (alone) for promoting a role in my generation (since 1961). Those enforced society patterns belong to a consumist society, that one which sold out what gave "her" more benefit$ and, of course, it was TWO parents taking care of their homes and children, not that new singled-parent caring.

Even in marriage some people feel single and feel the need to be mingled.

Perfect companionship is an INDIVIDUAL idea each has assumed or could be dealing to assume.

I just see dogs, cats, birds trying to get warm, like a cold penguin -in their "termical" isolation- and it is us who insist on defending our personal positions.

God never wanted us (men) to be alone. That's why Genesis reminds us He (GOD) made woman for each ADAM (Andrew).
I never said Disney was solely responsible for the unhappiness of singles. I know they are not primarily responsible. However, you cannot deny the fact they have exponentialized the problem and projected it onto society.
 
A

adekruif

Guest
#8
I totally relate to the way you feel, and it's annoying to have people constantly ask if you have any prospects. I guess they care and are asking to be nice, but just because i'm single doesn't mean I need to find someone to survive or to be happy. People just expect you to get married once you graduate college and have a career. I'm in that season of life now and there are lots of other things I would rather spend my time doing than looking for a partner, such as eating froot loops. :D
 

mystdancer50

Senior Member
Feb 26, 2012
2,522
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#9
Lately, Disney has been creating movies that don't promote the idea that if you're not married, you're weird. Brave is one and even Frozen, though Anna does fall in love, Elsa is left to rule her kingdom single and happy. Also, look at Enchanted, where the princess rescues the man from the dragon. So, Disney covers both ends of the spectrum: marriage is good and true love exits and women are strong enough to survive, thrive and rule while single.

Now, on to the OP and original topic. I have no desire for marriage. Granted, there are times (lonely seasons) when falling in love and marrying is captivating, but it's fleeting. Also, I have been blessed in my life. No one expects me to marry or date. I can count on one hand the times someone has asked if I am dating or like a guy and once I let them know that I'm content to wait on God and that I'm not looking to date or marry at this time, they never broach the subject again. My mom and dad don't even ask and none of my other family members do either. Some may see this as a bad thing, but I find the lack of pressure quite freeing.

Unfortunately, this means that I can't sympathize or relate to those that are constantly under the pressure to find someone, settle down, marry and have a brood of little ones...so that kind of limits my capacity to emphasize with them when they say what they're going through, though it doesn't prevent me from trying. :)
 
S

Shouryu

Guest
#10
anyways, does anyone ever feel like, just cause they are single they are expected to be "single and looking"?
Mehhh...it really depends on several factors. It depends on your age, I think, and very much depends on the people you're surrounded by. Most of the people I'm surrounded by are pretty laid back about it all...that's not to say that they're not encouraging or even a little pushy if an opportunity comes up (*glares at Aimee and Gracie and Catlynn*), but that's because they're much like me. The people at my church are much the same way. If I were in my early 20s, there might be a push from some in my congregation to mingle with the 19 and 20 year-old womens in the congregation, but with my age comes less urgency, it seems, and I'm fine with that. It's all what you make it.

Seriously, sometimes I laugh at the too much drama some singles here on CC make for being singles!!!! TRUST me, if your spouse is not Godly enough, you're better off single. At least you're free. And if you're single and you're happy, if anyone tries to talk you out of your happiness, just turn on your wipers and clean your windshield :D
You've seen drama? Here in Singles Forum? In the past two weeks you've been here? Because I haven't seen anything remotely resembling dramatic since December 28. There was some stuff going down BEFORE Christmas, but if you think any of the stuff that's happened since the New Year qualifies as drama, you better make sure you have a safety harness and a HAZMAT suit when the real fighting starts. *laughs*
 
Sep 6, 2013
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#11
Most of the people I'm surrounded by are pretty laid back about it all...that's not to say that they're not encouraging or even a little pushy if an opportunity comes up (*glares at Aimee and Gracie and Catlynn*)

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We lurve you Shour! :eek:
 
May 3, 2013
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#12
I never said Disney was solely responsible for the unhappiness of singles. I know they are not primarily responsible. However, you cannot deny the fact they have exponentialized the problem and projected it onto society.
I lied by telling that "I don't agree with you". But it seemed (to me) you only blamed Disney (although their fantasy (or rubish) have helped others to believe those impossible SOME do belive).

The world wide society we denied is responsible when individuals (like you and me) do not tell the truth plenty. Disney sells what WE, consumers, want to buy because we don't have it, we miss it and we want it real.

Alexangerla is one of those Disney cllients. She will be 7 years on February 14th. Her mother has told she was born on Valentines day but, at the same time, she lied telling her her dad is dead and that he wanted to kill her (by abortion). How come she, a beautiful girl who adopted me as her dad, will live out love, if her mother said those cruel things to an innocent baby?

Just see the contradiction! She was born on Valentines day, but her dad didn't want her (according to what she has told me). I am not her dad, I don't live with her nor my biological children, but she felt the need to hug, to feel she is been loved, and she also told be some classroom mates are bullying sometimes.

How could I say Barbies movies are not a "need" when her mother is not helping her overcome those problems, which solely belong to her dad and her mother?

How come would I say Disney's, with its false fantasy, witchcraft and flat lies, has not helped to "mend" broken hearts, when even reality tells me I am "ugly", undesidered, poorer than I am, hopely despised, guilty, etc., etc.?

Alexangerla buys Disney's movies because she needs to "live" a better life she doesn't see at the place she doesn't feel as her home. She needs to open her eyes at a reality we -individuals- don't build for our children, our "loved" ones, and she is only a simple example of what I know and, if I were her DAD, I will divorce twice the mother she has.

I wish I were given power (love power) to heal that little girl I love (as she were my biological daughter).

Know what I do. When I see her, I ask her to kiss me (but I have kissed her first). I hold her in my arms because I miss her a lot. She welcomes me each time I pass by her house, and lately she asked me to get repaired the PC I gave my children, becuase she uses it to watch Disney's movies.

How long will I refrain from reparing that machine she says she needs?

She lives those fantacies I tell her to believe with a grain of salt. She acknowledged what I said (softly and lovely) but she longs to be mingled, to be loved, to be hugged, and she is just 6 years. Besides, her people tells her: "You were born the day of LOVE..." What a contradition! She was born the day of "love", but is not receiving it in full and she shows how much she need it.

So, as you see now, Disney's lies could be helpful when nobody is around to tell them : "I love you" (but with UNSELFISH deeds).

They sell their lies, their witchcraft, when no one is around to show that love that is socially hindered and denied, even by church goers.

I told I am not her biological father, but I love her as much as I can, as much as I am allowed, and her mother tells her, each time I go there: "Alex! Here is you daddy coming" (a flat lie) but how many of us don't badly need to hear: "Here is your loved one coming... Come out and show off"
 
May 3, 2013
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#13
mystdancer50


I have liked "BRAVE". It's a nice idealization, but I felt I could love a woman (not a teenager) like that. Of course, being another lie of Disney's, those love lessons could be admitted, retrieved, even her right to remain "alone" and single.

Oh! Just see when those champions are at the deck, near their ships, there were people saying: "I love you", people who would "never" say: "I love you"... They pictured a social lie that is often denied (by our likes and prejudices).

Now I "see" who is like BRAVE (on CC). :eek:
 
I

IloveyouGod

Guest
#14
Maybe you need to read more posts then.
I don't need safety harness and a HAZMAT suit. I just turn on my wipers and clean my windshield and keep moving on!! I wouldn't care less!! "laughs**


Mehhh...it really depends on several factors. It depends on your age, I think, and very much depends on the people you're surrounded by. Most of the people I'm surrounded by are pretty laid back about it all...that's not to say that they're not encouraging or even a little pushy if an opportunity comes up (*glares at Aimee and Gracie and Catlynn*), but that's because they're much like me. The people at my church are much the same way. If I were in my early 20s, there might be a push from some in my congregation to mingle with the 19 and 20 year-old womens in the congregation, but with my age comes less urgency, it seems, and I'm fine with that. It's all what you make it.



You've seen drama? Here in Singles Forum? In the past two weeks you've been here? Because I haven't seen anything remotely resembling dramatic since December 28. There was some stuff going down BEFORE Christmas, but if you think any of the stuff that's happened since the New Year qualifies as drama, you better make sure you have a safety harness and a HAZMAT suit when the real fighting starts. *laughs*