I am at my coffee shop having my first cup coffee for the day ... And I had thought of a few things to say to you so I hope I can remember them all LOL at my age that gets a little tricky at times anyway... You speak of struggling to believe while my struggle was I did not want to believe ... but it became increasingly obvious to me over time that the truth had been presented to me and it would be foolish of me not to accept it. No I'm not talking about all those times when the gospel may have been preached to me as a child while I was still going to the Catholic Church... I don't mean that at all ... I mean after God had revealed Himself to me a number of times in a number of ways... And as I mentioned before it was while I was attending the alpha course, it occurred to me that it was geared to convincing people of the truth of God's revealed written word and then I rather suddenly realized I needed no more convincing... So that was definitely a turning point for me.
Investigating things like the council of naicea before I became a believer? I don't really think I did that, and even after becoming a believer, of course I come across things like that being talked about from time to time, as I have been engaged in apologetics now for about 18 years I think, but there are a lot of old dead guys who have said and decided and written a lot of things that really don't have a huge impact me even though they may have shaped thinking in a more broader sense... and I can agree with parts of what they say ... but what they have said doesn't mean as much or impart to me as much as what I get out of Scripture itself.
Yes you have mentioned your ADHD before and how your thinking process gets very granular ... into the minutia, and I can relate to that a little bit, not that I have ADHD (that I know of!), but that I can be very analytical... but the thing with this whole process is you have to let things percolate and settle ... and it is very much like the agricultural parables that Jesus told ... a seed has been planted... it has to be given time to be allowed to grow. And it will! So try not to fuss over it. This is how we find our rest in Jesus ... you will eventually... You will not have to agonize over every little thing ... you can come to a point where your faith/acceptance is so all encompesing that what scientists say or any new discoveries or anything else going on in the world will not shake your faith as you come to know yourself for who you are in God, and Who God is.
Do please excuse any run-on sentences and poor punctuation or lack of capitalization, as I'm on my phone and those things are not easy to edit in continually.