Questions for Christians Who Believe That Sex is ONLY for Having Children...
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Hi Kim - very thought provoking post 
As well as bearing children, I would have thought that sex between a married couple is a part of their sharing their intimacy for each other.
That’s all I can share at this point lol. Interesting to read other responses.
As well as bearing children, I would have thought that sex between a married couple is a part of their sharing their intimacy for each other.
That’s all I can share at this point lol. Interesting to read other responses.
In the past, we've had some users express the opinions that sex was only meant for and to be used for procreation within marriage.
It was probably mostly in the BDF though, so I was curious to see if we'd have anyone who believed this and would be willing to discuss it in the Family Forum.
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@seoulsearch, were those who expressed those opinions that sex only be for procreation in the BDF, so you know if they were actually married themselves? Where they male or female, just wondering.
I have found many opiniated people on BDF tend to be male but I do wonder if they are married and how their wife might feel about that. I wonder if men actually ask women hey do you want to make a baby before they go about it. Or do they just assume that their wife is always ready to drop a baby whenever. one of the mysteries of the universe no doubt.
I have found many opiniated people on BDF tend to be male but I do wonder if they are married and how their wife might feel about that. I wonder if men actually ask women hey do you want to make a baby before they go about it. Or do they just assume that their wife is always ready to drop a baby whenever. one of the mysteries of the universe no doubt.
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These are good questions, Lanolin.
The inspiration for this thread was about the topic itself and not any specific threads, but it is a topic that circulate here every now and then.
I can't say specifically (and anyone who does remember, please feel free to comment), but I do think most of the threads about it were in the BDF, and most, if not all, of the ones promoting this idea were male. I'm not sure I can remember many or any female posters starting discussions or supporting this. I could be wrong though. I would also suspect that any females who did subscribe to this belief would also believe that they should remain submissive (and silent) among the men, and therefore, not comment in the threads, but again, I could be wrong.
I don't know if the people who posted were married and actually living out this belief themselves -- you just asked the million-dollar question!!! I think the last time it came there was one male who was posting in favor of this belief and was single.
Whenever we do see this subject come up again, I hope you'll ask the people there these question. I would be very interested in reading their answers.
yea I always want to question certain assumptions people (men) that post on BDF have about women.
have they ever had a child, or experienced childbirth had they ever been raped or made to do things against their will, had they ever been violated or told they are inferior just because they are female? Have they ever had to clean the toilet even? Have men ever had to look after more than 3 children 24/7 under the age of 5? do they know that women only have two hands and not five?
have they ever had a child, or experienced childbirth had they ever been raped or made to do things against their will, had they ever been violated or told they are inferior just because they are female? Have they ever had to clean the toilet even? Have men ever had to look after more than 3 children 24/7 under the age of 5? do they know that women only have two hands and not five?
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If you are single and want to marry to 'prevent fornication' like Paul says, and you find out a potential love interest thinks sex in marriage is just for having children and will not be persuaded otherwise, you may want to break up and find someone else before you get engaged or lead the person on any more.
That's a major red flag, kind of like a man saying he doesn't believe in providing for his wife, or a wife saying she won't submit to her husband, or disrespect for a potential partner's parents or one of several other 'deal breakers.'
That's a major red flag, kind of like a man saying he doesn't believe in providing for his wife, or a wife saying she won't submit to her husband, or disrespect for a potential partner's parents or one of several other 'deal breakers.'
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Paul said marriage was to prevent fornication, and to render one another 'due benevolence', that and fasting, and coming together again (or just the coming together again part) help prevent temptation due to a lack of self-control.
The implication is that sex in marriage is okay, and it helps prevent fornication. That benefit of marriage is gone out the window if you had three kids and decided that's it, and your partner says no more sex.
If you think sex is just for having kids that kind of makes sense if you also think you are obligated to have lots of kids, like the Duggars. Also, God opens and closes the womb, like we see in the story of Jacob and his wives, and he granted that Abraham and Sarah and Zecharias and Elizabeth should have children in their older years. Having children at an advanced age is presented as a blessing in the Bible, not as some kind of a curse like a lot of people almost see it as today.
I know talking about sex goes against Victorian sensibilities of decorum, which some Christians confuse with Christian ethics, but I think it wise to have some very basic discussions about sex while courting, just to make sure a potential partner is on the same page. Also, you might want to know if this person sleeps around, has slept around, and has a potentially high chance of cheating. The potential spouse may need some Biblical education (discipleship) on some topics of marriage, which could be covered either in conversations or referring them to someone else or some other source before going that far into the relationship. But ideally you both go into it with good sexual ethics, common faith, a common understanding on marriage roles, expectations about having children, how to raise children, a mutual understanding that you will meet each other's sexual needs, and a commitment to follow biblical teachings on marriage. These things are a lot more important than looks, actually, though looks and other things that trigger attraction can have a big impact.
A potential spouse who will have no concern for your sexual needs, and they are of high concern to you, either because of religious ideas or just their attitude is probably not a good choice for spouse unless they change first. If it is really low on both your priorities and neither of you care much, and you just want to have sex once on the wedding night and enough times to make a few babies, and you are both cool with that, maybe it's okay. But be willing to accomodate more 'appetite' than that, and if you get married, be willing to change your mind if your spouse changes his or hers and wants kids. that's only fair.
The implication is that sex in marriage is okay, and it helps prevent fornication. That benefit of marriage is gone out the window if you had three kids and decided that's it, and your partner says no more sex.
If you think sex is just for having kids that kind of makes sense if you also think you are obligated to have lots of kids, like the Duggars. Also, God opens and closes the womb, like we see in the story of Jacob and his wives, and he granted that Abraham and Sarah and Zecharias and Elizabeth should have children in their older years. Having children at an advanced age is presented as a blessing in the Bible, not as some kind of a curse like a lot of people almost see it as today.
I know talking about sex goes against Victorian sensibilities of decorum, which some Christians confuse with Christian ethics, but I think it wise to have some very basic discussions about sex while courting, just to make sure a potential partner is on the same page. Also, you might want to know if this person sleeps around, has slept around, and has a potentially high chance of cheating. The potential spouse may need some Biblical education (discipleship) on some topics of marriage, which could be covered either in conversations or referring them to someone else or some other source before going that far into the relationship. But ideally you both go into it with good sexual ethics, common faith, a common understanding on marriage roles, expectations about having children, how to raise children, a mutual understanding that you will meet each other's sexual needs, and a commitment to follow biblical teachings on marriage. These things are a lot more important than looks, actually, though looks and other things that trigger attraction can have a big impact.
A potential spouse who will have no concern for your sexual needs, and they are of high concern to you, either because of religious ideas or just their attitude is probably not a good choice for spouse unless they change first. If it is really low on both your priorities and neither of you care much, and you just want to have sex once on the wedding night and enough times to make a few babies, and you are both cool with that, maybe it's okay. But be willing to accomodate more 'appetite' than that, and if you get married, be willing to change your mind if your spouse changes his or hers and wants kids. that's only fair.
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Reasons for sex.
--- Paul said two shall be come one flesh spoke of Christ and the church. This is in a passage about wives submitting to and fearing/reverencing their husbands, and husbands loving their wives as Christ loved the church. Paul also refers to a man becoming one in body with a prostitute, so two becoming one flesh has some sexual implications. So there may be some spiritual lessons in the experience within the context of a Christian marriage. Ephesians 5. I Corinthians 56.
---Marriage is to help prevent fornication, and husband and wife are not to defraud one another but are to render due benevolence. So if you are both 60 or 70 and he or she's got needs, but you can't have babies, there is still some need for due benevolence. Human beings have some physical limitations, which get amplified in old age, but I have read that some old married couples still manage to engage in activities from time to time. I Corinthians 7.
--Sex in marriage makes babies, too. That's pretty important since that's where people come from.
--- Paul said two shall be come one flesh spoke of Christ and the church. This is in a passage about wives submitting to and fearing/reverencing their husbands, and husbands loving their wives as Christ loved the church. Paul also refers to a man becoming one in body with a prostitute, so two becoming one flesh has some sexual implications. So there may be some spiritual lessons in the experience within the context of a Christian marriage. Ephesians 5. I Corinthians 56.
---Marriage is to help prevent fornication, and husband and wife are not to defraud one another but are to render due benevolence. So if you are both 60 or 70 and he or she's got needs, but you can't have babies, there is still some need for due benevolence. Human beings have some physical limitations, which get amplified in old age, but I have read that some old married couples still manage to engage in activities from time to time. I Corinthians 7.
--Sex in marriage makes babies, too. That's pretty important since that's where people come from.
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Sex is such a beautiful and incredible gift God gave us and it is really intended between a husband and wife. To say its just for procreation is not right nor is it fair not to participate in a marital relationship. In Song of Solomon it is discussed that sex is also used for intimacy between a husband and wife. The bible also talks about not withholding sex from each other in a marriage.
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As to the latter, maybe those women might see a dr. to find out if they have endometriosis? Or maybe their husbands need to learn a little more about women? Concerning the latter, such women aren't generally Christians, so why even mention them?
sexual reproduction is a way to mix genetic material so that offspring are a mixture of both parents. But there are other ways to reproduce like division or cloning!
the first woman was made out of the man, what God did was pulled out a rib from Adam and created a woman. After that he brought them together again but they only found out how to make another human through carnal knowledge. The thing they did wrong was they didnt wait for God and followed Satans advice. so was it any wonder their first child ended up a murderer. God also sentenced Eve to pain and sorrow in childbirth and .adam to working all the time...hard labour for both. sounds like most marriages to me lol.
now fast forward to Jesus. Lets see did his mother Mary have carnal knowledge of Joseph to conceive Jesus? well actually no. Have a look in the Bible and see how Jesus came to be.
the first woman was made out of the man, what God did was pulled out a rib from Adam and created a woman. After that he brought them together again but they only found out how to make another human through carnal knowledge. The thing they did wrong was they didnt wait for God and followed Satans advice. so was it any wonder their first child ended up a murderer. God also sentenced Eve to pain and sorrow in childbirth and .adam to working all the time...hard labour for both. sounds like most marriages to me lol.
now fast forward to Jesus. Lets see did his mother Mary have carnal knowledge of Joseph to conceive Jesus? well actually no. Have a look in the Bible and see how Jesus came to be.