Hey Love, my heart goes out to you! But this seems like something you are going to have to give to
God. I mean, you need to do your part and repent to your wife and God and whoever else you may have hurt. But what decision your wife makes is not in your control. Pour your heart out to God and ask him for grace to trust Him to work things out. Only He can mend what has been torn here. And until you let go of it, entrusting it to Him, His hands are tied. He loves you so much!! Run to Him and let Him love you and heal your heart at this time. Receive His grace! Whatever led you to do what you did probably means there's an area in your life that needs dealing with, I mean real inner healing. Let your wife know you are serious about dealing with it so that you don't do the same things again. And allow God time to work on her heart. She obviously is going to need it to work through whatever pain she's in. Bottom line: You need to bring it all to God, give it to Him. Lay it down. I know this is not easy, but I think it needs to be said. Love in the Lord!