Problematic trends in dating

[ArtsieSteph]

We all have that one thing when dating that would be...prudent to work through I guess? Moving too fast, giving up too quickly, commuting way too fully before the other, only dating men/women with certain physical traits, ect ect.

Sadly I have a deep rooted tendency to go for men that look as if I think would like me. I like a huskier fellow, but sometimes I wonder if that’s just because I think they’re the only guys that would even consider someone my size. That’s unfair to me and unfair to them. Not that I’ll never not find huskier guys cute, but that I’m not “settling” right from the get go but just think they’re fantastic as they are ✨

 

[Lanolin]

artsie are you lonely?
I was picturing that you might be the only woman in Arizona and and no men as far as the eye can see.... as that an accurate one of your situtation?

here where I live in the suburbs everyone is taken or drunk and violent.

 

[Heart_Melody]

I find it most hard to find

Single - never divorced men who love Jesus.

It's maddening.
Most men my age have been divorced - have several kids, like to drink and still they all say "they are christian".
Or - then there is the other side of the Men who haven't been married yet - say they love Jesus, but are uncultured - and think they are God's gift to women. And if I get to clean and cook for them I should count my blessings. Oh an probably still live in their parents house without helping to pay rent - playing video games and so on.

The men that keep asking me out are almost 10 years younger - and they still want to go through the party phase - and It's been ages since I remotely was interested in that.

SO - my conclusion for now - I am staying single lol

 

[Lanolin]

!! the gamer boy...I would not even want to go out with anyone that was into that. sorry.
all you would be doing is fetching and carrying for them while they sit on their butts pushing buttons and yelling at a screen.

 

[ArtsieSteph]

I find it most hard to find

Single - never divorced men who love Jesus.

It's maddening.
Most men my age have been divorced - have several kids, like to drink and still they all say "they are christian".

OH. MY. GOSH. I get the same thing with the divorced/drinker guys. I mean dependent on the situation I would maybe consider someone divorced, but like it’s so hard to find a guy that doesn’t drink that they actually stopped putting drinking habits as a “must have” in the profiles. It’s like BRUH. Them not drinking is a big deal for me do NOT take that out of consider just cuz YOU think it doesn’t matter.

 

[ArtsieSteph]

artsie are you lonely?
I was picturing that you might be the only woman in Arizona and and no men as far as the eye can see.... as that an accurate one of your situtation?

here where I live in the suburbs everyone is taken or drunk and violent.

🤣🤣🤣 I think it’s more that I’m inept at making introductions. I just don’t know how to date like an actual human does

 

[Lanolin]

🤣🤣🤣 I think it’s more that I’m inept at making introductions. I just don’t know how to date like an actual human does

hmm
well theres really nothing to it.
Maybe practice dating someone you already know.

you just set a date and time and turn up.
if you are the person asking you get to invite, but if you the invitee you can accept or decline. you can ask whether it costs anything, how long you'll be out for and whther you should wear or bring anything special.

what kinds of things are there to do in arizona?

 

[Didymous]

We all have that one thing when dating that would be...prudent to work through I guess? Moving too fast, giving up too quickly, commuting way too fully before the other, only dating men/women with certain physical traits, ect ect.

Sadly I have a deep rooted tendency to go for men that look as if I think would like me. I like a huskier fellow, but sometimes I wonder if that’s just because I think they’re the only guys that would even consider someone my size. That’s unfair to me and unfair to them. Not that I’ll never not find huskier guys cute, but that I’m not “settling” right from the get go but just think they’re fantastic as they are ✨

think it’s more that I’m inept at making introductions. I just don’t know how to date like an actual human does

I feel you.

 

[Didymous]

We all have that one thing when dating that would be...prudent to work through I guess? Moving too fast, giving up too quickly, commuting way too fully before the other, only dating men/women with certain physical traits, ect ect.

Sadly I have a deep rooted tendency to go for men that look as if I think would like me. I like a huskier fellow, but sometimes I wonder if that’s just because I think they’re the only guys that would even consider someone my size. That’s unfair to me and unfair to them. Not that I’ll never not find huskier guys cute, but that I’m not “settling” right from the get go but just think they’re fantastic as they are ✨

I like a big woman.

 

[Subhumanoidal]

🤣🤣🤣 I think it’s more that I’m inept at making introductions. I just don’t know how to date like an actual human does

That's probably a good thing. I've always found traditional dating a joke and a waste of time. Sitting for hours in an awkward setting with someone pretending to be someone they're not. Just so I can decide if I actually like spending time with them enough to do it again. And dealing with unwanted wishes to see me again (if I'm not interested) or being rejected? Pass.
I find letting feelings develop from friendship with someone I'm already familiar with to be a much easier and preferable method.

 

[ArtsieSteph]

I find letting feelings develop from friendship with someone I'm already familiar with to be a much easier and preferable method.

Yup. Even when I do any kind of online dating I always go for friendship first of all

 

[Lanolin]

the difference between dating and being friends I supoose is having a deadline.

If you are friends you dont really make dates but if you are seriously dating you need an appointment book to set up all your dates. I can slot you in at this time etc.

 

[Commanda89]

Online dating would be a problematic trend, imo. I have tried it and have only had bad experiences. I feel like nowadays the traditional way of dating is lost where man pursues woman in person. Everything is behind a phone or computer screen. It's just not the same.

I know some people who have met their spouses online and that's great. God can use those but in my experience it's been pretty bad lol

 

[Prycejosh1987]

We all have that one thing when dating that would be...prudent to work through I guess? Moving too fast, giving up too quickly, commuting way too fully before the other, only dating men/women with certain physical traits, ect ect.

Sadly I have a deep rooted tendency to go for men that look as if I think would like me. I like a huskier fellow, but sometimes I wonder if that’s just because I think they’re the only guys that would even consider someone my size. That’s unfair to me and unfair to them. Not that I’ll never not find huskier guys cute, but that I’m not “settling” right from the get go but just think they’re fantastic as they are ✨

I say to you that you should let your hair down as a figure of speech. You will be surprised in the guys that will find you attractive, don't do things and have certain feelings because of insecurity but be confident in yourself. There is the saying 'punching above your weight', that saying can go for absolutely anybody.