You have been honest here...that's awesome. But let's see what might help. First off know Satan wants you to talk about the bible, share what you know about the bible, even have the latest edition sitting on your desk, he just doesn't want you to pick it up and read it. You can occasionally read a psalm or two but don't really get spiritual direction from it He hates that! The feeling of not wanting to is normal but it is also something we need to overcome. The funny thing is when you read it, actually do the task God makes it worth while.
I have picked up my bible after having a thousands events cause me excuse to avoid it and after reading it I ask myself at the end, "Why didn't I do that earlier?" Like the V-8 slap on the head, "I could of had a truth investment" SMACK!! I see it was me not the events or circumstances making that decision.
Practical commitments of small proportions is a good start. Do the simple 5X5X5 plan: Promise yourself 5 minutes a day of reading the same New Testament book in order [only] just as a starter commitment to yourself. You can re-tour up later but keep it simple for now. Chose whatever book you want, but make it a translated version for now not paraphrased, unless you use those for additional study on the verses. Promise to do this for 5 days straight. And finally commit to 5 ways to dig deeper into the Word: 1]. Underline or highlight key words and phrases. 2]. Write your own translation. Paraphrase in your own words the meaning of the passages. 3].Ask Questions: Questions unlock new discoveries and meanings.Ask questions using the words who, what, why, when, where, and how. How would you answer these questions? Jot down your thoughts. 4]. Capture the big idea. simply think about it you can write it down too if you want. 5]. Personalize the meaning. How does this passage in particular meet me in the rubber meeting the road for a practical application?
After the week assess your progress. prayer will come with all this you will find yourself talking to God while reading as well. God bless I hope this might be helpful.
I will pray it can be used....! And I will pray for you to enter into His presence. "God is our shelter and our strength. when troubles seem near, God is nearer, and He's ready to help!" Psalms 46:1. Be honest and real with God in prayer about everything, when we start out in praise He then will bring us and our issues to His level of care..But Ramp also simply do it! If we know of what we ought to do, the answer to the prayer is to simply do it!