Hi, DancingForJesus! 😊
That's awesome that you're gifted in music. I played the piano some in my younger years.
Occasionally I will sit down and play a few songs- namely: Greensleeves, I Will Arise, and The Way That He Loves. I like to sing some, but am not serious about developing my voice.. Though I might be if I had someone to practice with.
I'm sorry for your frustration and depression. As a child I knew God had called me to be a missionary (I thought on the foreign field, and still do). But that calling has not materialized thus far. I am definitely seeking God's perfect will for my life. So sometimes I question, "Why am I still at home?" I am growing in the certainty that God is doing His preparation work during this time. I believe He has led me in the last few years to be apart of a couple of children's ministries; and I am serving in those now. And there are other ways in which I believe He is forming me for the future.
Anyway! All of that to say, I can empathize with you in part, my Sister. 🙂 My Pastor frequently encourages people to jump in and serve where there is a need, or to at least give it a good try. Some people say they can't teach or they don't have an interest in a particular area. But God is the great Equipper, and He can bless your willingness to serve so much so to where after you start serving (in a place you may not be thrilled about) you wouldn't trade it for anything. 😊 So my humble encouragement is to maybe consider and ask around if there may be a need in your church, etc and just do it! Try it. Can be as big as becoming a Sunday School teacher or as "little" as making a meal for a sick Sister in Christ or sending cheerful cards to people.. You mentioned music, so what if you found a local nursing home and went and sang and/or played an instrument for the residents on a regular basis? Just a thought. 🙂
I know being active and engaged with my church body has been an incredibly good thing in my life. It is so fulfilling.
I will say a prayer for you. Love to you in our Messiah Jesus's name.