Pain

[seantspence]

Your words and your videos and the time we've spent together, so far, have really...have really....
I can't really explain. I'm over 40. I shouldn't be having these heart palpitations.




...my dear, I don't think that is possible lol

We have both gone through a lot in the last m

I was being, perhaps, a tad silly. However, your video was very moving. You know, it could be that it was good for my heart!

Just a few days ago, I was quietly hanging out with myself and my critters. And then here comes fire. Maybe some oxygen would be appropriate right now lol.

I just the effect doesn't wear off because it's like anything. You buy or get the latest gadget and a few weeks later it becomes old news, at least for the people here. It seems like too many people have TikTok brain, just instant gratification everything.

By the way, all of the other videos on my YouTube channel are songs I composed over the last year. I was proud of them but because they don't have any of my vocals in them, sing about Jesus, they are just hobby tier and not something I would show another Christian who I wanted to impress.

 

[seantspence]

I was being, perhaps, a tad silly. However, your video was very moving. You know, it could be that it was good for my heart!

Just a few days ago, I was quietly hanging out with myself and my critters. And then here comes fire. Maybe some oxygen would be appropriate right now lol.

Well I think that is what I want for you. Something good for your heart. I couldn't imagine losing someone that I spent 7 years of my life with and your dad that you were super close with

I think I even need oxygen. I haven't been outside all day

 

[seantspence]

We have both gone through a lot in the last m


I just the effect doesn't wear off because it's like anything. You buy or get the latest gadget and a few weeks later it becomes old news, at least for the people here. It seems like too many people have TikTok brain, just instant gratification everything.

By the way, all of the other videos on my YouTube channel are songs I composed over the last year. I was proud of them but because they don't have any of my vocals in them, sing about Jesus, they are just hobby tier and not something I would show another Christian who I wanted to impress.

I just hope the effect*

 

[seantspence]

I just think I've accepted the fact that over here, people don't value faith in God. They have all been conquered by something. When you feel like the only one of your kind in a states where there is over 30 million people, it's refreshing to find someone who you share similar beliefs and values.

Plus, I think over here, people show you value by ignoring you if they like you. It's super strange but I use to do the same thing when I was younger. Now that I use my big boy words, I'm the black sheep

 

[seantspence]

Lot's of Led Zeppelin after this video

 

[CarriePie]

Well I think that is what I want for you. Something good for your heart. I couldn't imagine losing someone that I spent 7 years of my life with and your dad that you were super close with

I think I even need oxygen. I haven't been outside all day

I know I've said previously said it, but losing dad really was the harshest pain I've endured (and still enduring). I said to an empty room, "You died of heart failure and now I'm going to die of a broken heart." I didn't want to be here in this world without dad. I know the Lord left me here for a reason though.

I just the effect doesn't wear off because it's like anything. You buy or get the latest gadget and a few weeks later it becomes old news, at least for the people here. It seems like too many people have TikTok brain, just instant gratification everything.

I'm one of those people who will watch the spacestation flyover for the thousandth time and still be excited to see it. One of my favorite songs Me Me Smile by Chicago, I'll listen to it for years and it still sounds amazing. I've been watching critters for ages and my heart still swells when I see them. Maybe I'm the unusual one in the world. But, I like how think.

By the way, all of the other videos on my YouTube channel are songs I composed over the last year. I was proud of them but because they don't have any of my vocals in them, sing about Jesus, they are just hobby tier and not something I would show another Christian who I wanted to impress.

I subscribed to you and will look at your channel...when I can properly function lol

 

[seantspence]

I know I've said previously said it, but losing dad really was the harshest pain I've endured (and still enduring). I said to an empty room, "You died of heart failure and now I'm going to die of a broken heart." I didn't want to be here in this world without dad. I know the Lord left me here for a reason though.




I'm one of those people who will watch the spacestation flyover for the thousandth time and still be excited to see it. One of my favorite songs Me Me Smile by Chicago, I'll listen to it for years and it still sounds amazing. I've been watching critters for ages and my heart still swells when I see them. Maybe I'm the unusual one in the world. But, I like how think.



I subscribed to you and will look at your channel...when I can properly function lol

I just want to make someone happy. My mother has enjoyed me being here. Her heart has completely changed since I've been here and I constantly think it is my time to go, so that maybe she can start dating without me getting in the way of another guy being afraid to come over because of how intimidating I could be.

Well, I think I found someone one of a kind. I've met a lot of people in my life. I've had tons of experiences. Seen a lot of dark stuff and had a lot of great moments. When you get older, you just want to be with someone where it's you and them versus the world but then that person shows you their world and they show you that it doesn't have to be you and them versus the world but a harmony of you and them enjoying the world.

 

[CarriePie]

Me Me Smile by Chicagol

This was supposed to say Make Me Smile...I can't even type properly lol

 

[seantspence]

This was supposed to say Make Me Smile...I can't even type properly lol

I just listened to it and I hear your spirit speaking through it. I used to be into a lot of different music growing up, all genres but the music that stuff with me is Mainstream Christian music or classic Christian music or jazz music and maybe classical but not as much anymore. But I have explored and enjoyed tons of music growing up, as my grandpa was a famous musician, my aunt is a famous musician and my dad played the drums in a few bands.

 

[seantspence]

I just listened to it and I hear your spirit speaking through it. I used to be into a lot of different music growing up, all genres but the music that stuff with me is Mainstream Christian music or classic Christian music or jazz music and maybe classical but not as much anymore. But I have explored and enjoyed tons of music growing up, as my grandpa was a famous musician, my aunt is a famous musician and my dad played the drums in a few bands.

music that stuck with me*

 

[CarriePie]

I just want to make someone happy. My mother has enjoyed me being here. Her heart has completely changed since I've been here and I constantly think it is my time to go, so that maybe she can start dating without me getting in the way of another guy being afraid to come over because of how intimidating I could be.

Well, I think I found someone one of a kind. I've met a lot of people in my life. I've had tons of experiences. Seen a lot of dark stuff and had a lot of great moments. When you get older, you just want to be with someone where it's you and them versus the world but then that person shows you their world and they show you that it doesn't have to be you and them versus the world but a harmony of you and them enjoying the world.

I know I usually am typing more. I suppose I become somewhat solemn when thinking about many things or one very big thing.

Harmony. Harmony is very important.

I think embracing someone like you want to become part of that person is a very unique, how that person embraces back is very telling.
Embracing in other ways is important too (with words, with care, etc.). I don't mean any of this in a shallow or naughty way...that would be beneath the wonderfulness of the embrace.
Like Make Me Smile says...Feel the magic when I hold you. Cry sweet tears of joy, touch the sky.

 

[seantspence]

I know I usually am typing more. I suppose I become somewhat solemn when thinking about many things or one very big thing.

Harmony. Harmony is very important.

I think embracing someone like you want to become part of that person is a very unique, how that person embraces back is very telling.
Embracing in other ways is important too (with words, with care, etc.). I don't mean any of this in a shallow or naughty way...that would be beneath the wonderfulness of the embrace.
Like Make Me Smile says...Feel the magic when I hold you. Cry sweet tears of joy, touch the sky.

Of course, I just wonder how it would be when or if we got really comfortable with one another, how that would be like. This is and can definitely be a big thing. I even don't know why when I woke up I was like thinking about so much. The conversations are great. The people over here like I said don't care about your beliefs. They care about your wallet. Now that I'm working again and I can literally go anywhere I want, I want nothing to do with them. It's like when you can't show someone love when they are in a low place, then I don't consider them someone I want to be around. Every seems to want your attention when you have money again but avoid you like the plague when you are on hard times. Which is why I have so much built up resentment towards the people here.

 

[seantspence]

I know I usually am typing more. I suppose I become somewhat solemn when thinking about many things or one very big thing.

Harmony. Harmony is very important.

I think embracing someone like you want to become part of that person is a very unique, how that person embraces back is very telling.
Embracing in other ways is important too (with words, with care, etc.). I don't mean any of this in a shallow or naughty way...that would be beneath the wonderfulness of the embrace.
Like Make Me Smile says...Feel the magic when I hold you. Cry sweet tears of joy, touch the sky.

I might have to go to sleep soon. I have to leave here at 11am to go to my aunts to celebrate my brothers birthday and see my baby nephew who I haven't seen in a while

 

[CarriePie]

Of course, I just wonder how it would be when or if we got really comfortable with one another, how that would be like. This is and can definitely be a big thing. I even don't know why when I woke up I was like thinking about so much. The conversations are great. The people over here like I said don't care about your beliefs. They care about your wallet. Now that I'm working again and I can literally go anywhere I want, I want nothing to do with them. It's like when you can't show someone love when they are in a low place, then I don't consider them someone I want to be around. Every seems to want your attention when you have money again but avoid you like the plague when you are on hard times. Which is why I have so much built up resentment towards the people here.

It amazes me how many people there are in the world that are out after what they can get from someone else. It's a cruel world.
On the other hand, perhaps that makes us appreciate the more genuine and caring people more.

I just seen your last message. I was thinking you might want/need to go to sleep!

Thank you so so so much for your very handsome video. It touched my heart to see you, I can't explain how much!

Twas fire. I think the young folks these days use the word fire to express how amazing something is. You are fiery fire lol

 

[seantspence]

Let's get some things out in the open here. My voice is peculiar. I have been told all of my life that I have a peculiar voice. Should I link you to the Vegemite video? I'll just do it anyway lol

https://youtu.be/_bEo6vAxWuA

I watched this video again and I've already have gotten used to you and your voice. I am not a fan of people who are superficial. I've dealt with them my entire life, which is why every girlfriend that I've ever had has been kinda off according to societies standards. Friends would wonder why I am with them, even my own dad would say very rude comments about how I am "do better." Those kinds of words sicken me. You can see why I couldn't forgive my dad for the longest time based on that comment. Who says that to a person? That's why I don't listen to anyone. Everyone is trying to sell you something. When I like or love someone, I love that person indefinitely.

 

[seantspence]

It amazes me how many people there are in the world that are out after what they can get from someone else. It's a cruel world.
On the other hand, perhaps that makes us appreciate the more genuine and caring people more.

I just seen your last message. I was thinking you might want/need to go to sleep!

Thank you so so so much for your very handsome video. It touched my heart to see you, I can't explain how much!

Twas fire. I think the young folks these days use the word fire to express how amazing something is. You are fiery fire lol

Yes, my brother, even myself occasionally use the word fire to sound hip or with it.

I do appreciate you. You seem genuine AND caring.

 

[CarriePie]

I watched this video again and I've already have gotten used to you and your voice. I am not a fan of people who are superficial. I've dealt with them my entire life, which is why every girlfriend that I've ever had has been kinda off according to societies standards. Friends would wonder why I am with them, even my own dad would say very rude comments about how I am "do better." Those kinds of words sicken me. You can see why I couldn't forgive my dad for the longest time based on that comment. Who says that to a person? That's why I don't listen to anyone. Everyone is trying to sell you something. When I like or love someone, I love that person indefinitely.

I remember a scene in a movie that I went to see back in the early 90s. It was called Only the Lonely. It starred John Candy and Ally Sheedy. In the movie, John Candy's brother told him he could to better than Ally Sheedy. John Candy slugged him. It was a good scene. He took up for the woman he chose to be with.

 

[seantspence]

It amazes me how many people there are in the world that are out after what they can get from someone else. It's a cruel world.
On the other hand, perhaps that makes us appreciate the more genuine and caring people more.

I just seen your last message. I was thinking you might want/need to go to sleep!

Thank you so so so much for your very handsome video. It touched my heart to see you, I can't explain how much!

Twas fire. I think the young folks these days use the word fire to express how amazing something is. You are fiery fire lol

I'm going to wait until your response about my post on the video you sent me. then ill probably go to sleep

 

[CarriePie]

I'm going to wait until your response about my post on the video you sent me. then ill probably go to sleep

I do think that mutual attraction is important. It's a bit hard to wrap my head around scenarios that are a bit different. I guess because of my position in the equation.
You...you look better than your pic. It's not fair lol

I shouldn't keep you up!

 

[seantspence]

I remember a scene in a movie that I went to see back in the early 90s. It was called Only the Lonely. It starred John Candy and Ally Sheedy. In the movie, John Candy's brother told him he could to better than Ally Sheedy. John Candy slugged him. It was a good scene. He took up for the woman he chose to be with.

My form of slugging someone is ignoring them like the plague but I see how that might not exactly teach them anything. So slugging would definitely be a better option. I don't really have friends that talk poorly about any I've dated. At least not anymore but my friends and my dad trashed on my first girlfriend. I really should have just knocked them out back them but I didn't sadly.