Over 40 Never Married

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C

CeeCee

Guest
#1
#1
Is there any one out there like me? I am 50 never married. I have two grown children but did not marry their father ( he was abusive and narcissistic). Sometimes,I think it is weird but I am getting very used to it. I know in some countries no one cares but in America it is a big deal. Like something is wrong with you! LOL 😂
How are you feeling about it?
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#2
Mar 13, 2014
42,577
17,042
113
69
Tennessee
#2
CeeCee said:
Is there any one out there like me? I am 50 never married. I have two grown children but did not marry their father ( he was abusive and narcissistic). Sometimes, I think it is weird but I am getting very used to it. I know in some countries no one cares but in America it is a big deal. Like something is wrong with you! LOL 😂
How are you feeling about it?
Click to expand...
My sister is 58, has an 15 year old son and has never married. Like yourself, the father of her child is also abusive and narcissistic. You are not alone in this type of situation and no, there is nothing at all wrong with you. Hopefully, you will find comfort, support, and understanding from the members of this site. Glad to have you as part of our family. Welcome to CC.
 
T

TheIndianGirl

Guest
#3
#3
CeeCee said:
Is there any one out there like me? I am 50 never married. I have two grown children but did not marry their father ( he was abusive and narcissistic). Sometimes,I think it is weird but I am getting very used to it. I know in some countries no one cares but in America it is a big deal. Like something is wrong with you! LOL 😂
How are you feeling about it?
Click to expand...
You are not alone. There are many single parents (especially single mothers) with children who originally had live-in partners but never married. What is more rare are older singles with no children, but there is nothing anyone can do about that either if they never met the right person.
 
BrotherMike

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
#4
Jan 8, 2018
1,617
1,671
113
#4
CeeCee said:
Is there any one out there like me? I am 50 never married. I have two grown children but did not marry their father ( he was abusive and narcissistic). Sometimes,I think it is weird but I am getting very used to it. I know in some countries no one cares but in America it is a big deal. Like something is wrong with you! LOL 😂
How are you feeling about it?
Click to expand...
I don’t worry about it. I worship Him while I wait and trust Gods will and timing is being done. The right person will appear at the right time.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#5
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#5
same but no children, although I feel like I got heaps of children at school.
I think some people may think I am weird, but It doesnt bother me. There are lots of people who dont get married. some with children and some not.

regarding abusive and narcissitic partners, I think its best not to marry anyone with those traits! Those poor people who do marry such go through hell on earth! Sadly it seems to be very common.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#6
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#6
actually i am still 40 but I feel like im 39 as birthday was in lockdown and could not really celebrate it with everyone.
however...OP you said you are 50, which is a big deal birthday number so happy birthday. :)
 
C

CeeCee

Guest
#7
#7
tourist said:
My sister is 58, has an 15 year old son and has never married. Like yourself, the father of her child is also abusive and narcissistic. You are not alone in this type of situation and no, there is nothing at all wrong with you. Hopefully, you will find comfort, support, and understanding from the members of this site. Glad to have you as part of our family. Welcome to CC.
Click to expand...
Thank you 😊! So glad to be here
 
C

CeeCee

Guest
#8
#8
TheIndianGirl said:
You are not alone. There are many single parents (especially single mothers) with children who originally had live-in partners but never married. What is more rare are older singles with no children, but there is nothing anyone can do about that either if they never met the right person.
Click to expand...
CeeCee said:
Thank you 😊! So glad to be here
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Lanolin said:
same but no children, although I feel like I got heaps of children at school.
I think some people may think I am weird, but It doesnt bother me. There are lots of people who dont get married. some with children and some not.

regarding abusive and narcissitic partners, I think its best not to marry anyone with those traits! Those poor people who do marry such go through hell on earth! Sadly it seems to be very common.
Click to expand...
I agree, I think it’s crazy to be with someone just for the sake of being with someone. Because it never works out in the end 😕
 
C

CeeCee

Guest
#9
#9
BrotherMike said:
I don’t worry about it. I worship Him while I wait and trust Gods will and timing is being done. The right person will appear at the right time.
Click to expand...
Amen brother Mike! 🙏🏾
 
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CeeCee

Guest
#10
#10
Lanolin said:
actually i am still 40 but I feel like im 39 as birthday was in lockdown and could not really celebrate it with everyone.
however...OP you said you are 50, which is a big deal birthday number so happy birthday. :)
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Your so cute! Thank you an happy birthday to you too 😀
 
C

CeeCee

Guest
#11
#11
Lanolin said:
actually i am still 40 but I feel like im 39 as birthday was in lockdown and could not really celebrate it with everyone.
however...OP you said you are 50, which is a big deal birthday number so happy birthday. :)
Click to expand...
Your so cute! Happy birthday to you too! 😀
 
Subhumanoidal

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
#12
Sep 17, 2018
4,058
3,172
113
#12
45, never married, no kids. And not for a lack of desire. I am dating someone now.
My cousin was 60 before he had his first marriage and child (a little over a year ago).
I'm not around many people but no one makes a big deal out of it. And even when I was around more people, it was pretty rare anyone made much of a fuss about it at all. So I don't think its an 'America' thing so much as it is the people around you.
 
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CeeCee

Guest
#13
#13
Subhumanoidal said:
45, never married, no kids. And not for a lack of desire. I am dating someone now.
My cousin was 60 before he had his first marriage and child (a little over a year ago).
I'm not around many people but no one makes a big deal out of it. And even when I was around more people, it was pretty rare anyone made much of a fuss about it at all. So I don't think its an 'America' thing so much as it is the people around you.
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Yeah it is an American thing....definitely. They trade relationships like they change underwear! LOL 😂
 
Subhumanoidal

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
#15
Sep 17, 2018
4,058
3,172
113
#15
CeeCee said:
Yeah it is an American thing....definitely. They trade relationships like they change underwear! LOL 😂
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Huh. All i ever got was an occasional 'why aren't you married?' and upon answering them, that was usually the end of the conversation.
I think it depends more on the type of people around you since i never had any real problems with this issue. Some are very into marriage and nearly make getting married into a religion, others don't feel a need to put such demands on others. Otherwise I'd have chewed out a lot more people 😇
 
cinder

cinder

Senior Member
#16
Mar 26, 2014
4,425
2,416
113
#16
Well both my aunts were over 40 when they first married and had / have no kids of their own (one aunt did marry a man with kids from a previous marriage). I'm not exactly working hard to carry on that family tradition because as Lynx says, single and childless is literally the default option, it doesn't take any work to be single.

What I can say is that while you may be thought a little odd if you are an American adult not currently in or seeking a relationship, it's nothing compared to many more traditional or communal cultures in the world where if you're a woman pushing 30 and not married yet everyone thinks the only thing you should be thinking about is finding someone to marry before it's "too late". And I think I'll take another moment to be grateful that I'm a western woman in modern times who is free not to marry and so free to wait and choose an objectively good rather than just best I think I can hope to get partner in life.
 
C

CeeCee

Guest
#18
#18
Subhumanoidal said:
Huh. All i ever got was an occasional 'why aren't you married?' and upon answering them, that was usually the end of the conversation.
I think it depends more on the type of people around you since i never had any real problems with this issue. Some are very into marriage and nearly make getting married into a religion, others don't feel a need to put such demands on others. Otherwise I'd have chewed out a lot more people 😇
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Oh no don’t chew them out!:ROFL:
 
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CeeCee

Guest
#19
#19
cinder said:
Well both my aunts were over 40 when they first married and had / have no kids of their own (one aunt did marry a man with kids from a previous marriage). I'm not exactly working hard to carry on that family tradition because as Lynx says, single and childless is literally the default option, it doesn't take any work to be single.

What I can say is that while you may be thought a little odd if you are an American adult not currently in or seeking a relationship, it's nothing compared to many more traditional or communal cultures in the world where if you're a woman pushing 30 and not married yet everyone thinks the only thing you should be thinking about is finding someone to marry before it's "too late". And I think I'll take another moment to be grateful that I'm a western woman in modern times who is free not to marry and so free to wait and choose an objectively good rather than just best I think I can hope to get partner in life.
Click to expand...
I agree, I am thankful that I don’t have to be traded off for a cow or something. I was hoping for a little bit more perhaps an elephant ? 😂 jkg
 
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CeeCee

Guest
#20
#20
tourist said:
My sister is 58, has an 15 year old son and has never married. Like yourself, the father of her child is also abusive and narcissistic. You are not alone in this type of situation and no, there is nothing at all wrong with you. Hopefully, you will find comfort, support, and understanding from the members of this site. Glad to have you as part of our family. Welcome to CC.
Click to expand...
Thank you tourist you’re very sweet. I appreciate your kind words :giggle:
 
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