Hello everyone! 
Just as a fair warning: this post will be extremely long. I’ve got a lot on my mind (and therefore, quite a lot to say)! I’m not expecting anyone to actually read this... but if someone does, thank you so much.
I was raised as a Christian up until 11 years old. My father was a born again Christian for reasons I was too young to understand back then. Church was the foundation of his life. I vividly remember him carrying me into church when I had pneumonia — there was never a good enough excuse to miss church, in his mind. The church I attended was less than welcoming. I despised going there primarily because of the judgment casted on anyone who wasn’t cookie-cutter to their standards. My parents divorced when I was 6. As a result, I was mistreated by the members of my church who were constantly skeptical of why I couldn’t make it to church on the weekends I spent with my mom (mind you, I was 6). This left a sour taste in my mind when it came to the structure of a church. I realize now that this was perhaps exclusive to the church I attended, but it changed my perspective on Christianity nonetheless.
When I was 11, my father married an atheist woman. She strictly forbid religion from infiltrating her household. My father accepted and abided by her wishes. I was shocked. After all my years of longing to get out of that disastrous church, NOW he decided to give it up? Either way, I was happy to no longer attend the services of that church. Still, it upset me how my father could lose something so firm to his foundation simply because of a woman’s request.
As time went on, I became more and more skeptical about religion as a whole. By the time I reached college at age 17, I identified as not an atheist, but an anti-theist. I despised the structure of all religions. Unable to see the love and beauty of the community aspect of religion due to my less than impressive church experiences, I viewed religion as nothing more than a mechanism for control. Throughout history, it appeared this way to me. I began to feel as though I was better than people who “couldn’t think for themselves.” To say the least, this perspective turned me into a dark, negative and unhappy person. This attitude carried on until very recently...
I am now 23 (24 next month). I’ve graduated college and with that, I’ve evolved quite a bit as a person over time. I maintained my negative perspective on religion until it suddenly dawned on me...
Who am I to tell someone else that they are wrong?
For years, my negative perspective on religion has made me a dark person. At one point, I even viewed myself as a dark energy for my severe negativity in that respect. I recently began to think about the love and warmth I see within some religious folks. The sense of community. They all just seem so happy and filled with love — God’s love. I began to feel guilty for my years of negativity and skepticism.
Religion had once meant so much to me. But, somehow, I flipped to the complete opposite side in a matter of a decade. Perhaps my personal experiences shaped me that way — I don’t know.
Feeling miserable and dissatisfied with my life (I was working retail, despite my degree, because I lacked motivation), I started to think of other religious folks and how I longed to share their love. (Something I previously felt skeptical of.) I opened my mind (and my heart) and thought to myself that perhaps God is real... and furthermore, perhaps he was punishing me for my mind and heart which were infiltrated by darkness.
As soon as I changed my perspective — my life changed. I found a new job in my field which I absolutely love. Money is still a struggling issue, but my prospects are much better now that my portfolio is expanding. And, overall, I am happier — not all the way there, but better.
At nearly 24 years old, I am finally ready to embrace God and religion again... or at least try. I’m just not sure where to begin. How do I find a church in my area that will be welcoming to a new, young woman who is entering on her own? The thought somewhat scares me. The churches nearby to me are filled to the brim with generations of individuals who’ve been members their entire lives... I’m scared that I will not be welcomed.
I live in Southeastern Massachusetts. Again, I apologize for the ramble... I’ve just not said any of this to anyone (because there is no one to say it all to).
tl;dr I’m finally ready to give Christianity a shot in my life again. I feel like it will truly benefit me as a person. I’m just unsure of how to begin this journey... or if I even should.
Thank you.
Just as a fair warning: this post will be extremely long. I’ve got a lot on my mind (and therefore, quite a lot to say)! I’m not expecting anyone to actually read this... but if someone does, thank you so much. I was raised as a Christian up until 11 years old. My father was a born again Christian for reasons I was too young to understand back then. Church was the foundation of his life. I vividly remember him carrying me into church when I had pneumonia — there was never a good enough excuse to miss church, in his mind. The church I attended was less than welcoming. I despised going there primarily because of the judgment casted on anyone who wasn’t cookie-cutter to their standards. My parents divorced when I was 6. As a result, I was mistreated by the members of my church who were constantly skeptical of why I couldn’t make it to church on the weekends I spent with my mom (mind you, I was 6). This left a sour taste in my mind when it came to the structure of a church. I realize now that this was perhaps exclusive to the church I attended, but it changed my perspective on Christianity nonetheless.
When I was 11, my father married an atheist woman. She strictly forbid religion from infiltrating her household. My father accepted and abided by her wishes. I was shocked. After all my years of longing to get out of that disastrous church, NOW he decided to give it up? Either way, I was happy to no longer attend the services of that church. Still, it upset me how my father could lose something so firm to his foundation simply because of a woman’s request.
As time went on, I became more and more skeptical about religion as a whole. By the time I reached college at age 17, I identified as not an atheist, but an anti-theist. I despised the structure of all religions. Unable to see the love and beauty of the community aspect of religion due to my less than impressive church experiences, I viewed religion as nothing more than a mechanism for control. Throughout history, it appeared this way to me. I began to feel as though I was better than people who “couldn’t think for themselves.” To say the least, this perspective turned me into a dark, negative and unhappy person. This attitude carried on until very recently...
I am now 23 (24 next month). I’ve graduated college and with that, I’ve evolved quite a bit as a person over time. I maintained my negative perspective on religion until it suddenly dawned on me...
Who am I to tell someone else that they are wrong?
For years, my negative perspective on religion has made me a dark person. At one point, I even viewed myself as a dark energy for my severe negativity in that respect. I recently began to think about the love and warmth I see within some religious folks. The sense of community. They all just seem so happy and filled with love — God’s love. I began to feel guilty for my years of negativity and skepticism.
Religion had once meant so much to me. But, somehow, I flipped to the complete opposite side in a matter of a decade. Perhaps my personal experiences shaped me that way — I don’t know.
Feeling miserable and dissatisfied with my life (I was working retail, despite my degree, because I lacked motivation), I started to think of other religious folks and how I longed to share their love. (Something I previously felt skeptical of.) I opened my mind (and my heart) and thought to myself that perhaps God is real... and furthermore, perhaps he was punishing me for my mind and heart which were infiltrated by darkness.
As soon as I changed my perspective — my life changed. I found a new job in my field which I absolutely love. Money is still a struggling issue, but my prospects are much better now that my portfolio is expanding. And, overall, I am happier — not all the way there, but better.
At nearly 24 years old, I am finally ready to embrace God and religion again... or at least try. I’m just not sure where to begin. How do I find a church in my area that will be welcoming to a new, young woman who is entering on her own? The thought somewhat scares me. The churches nearby to me are filled to the brim with generations of individuals who’ve been members their entire lives... I’m scared that I will not be welcomed.
I live in Southeastern Massachusetts. Again, I apologize for the ramble... I’ve just not said any of this to anyone (because there is no one to say it all to).
tl;dr I’m finally ready to give Christianity a shot in my life again. I feel like it will truly benefit me as a person. I’m just unsure of how to begin this journey... or if I even should.
Thank you.
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