Well, God was kind enough to yank me out of that funk in a variety of ways.
1. I called two buddies of John's plus his brother. Two have already gone to visit, and the third is about due now. All rushed because we're about to get our first blizzard tomorrow. He finally has people to talk to that don't know roughly everything he knows in the last 35 years. (Once you're married this long, there are no more stories to tell of the past. And every day life is too predictable to get excited that I cooked something.)
2. If anyone has been keeping up with my humidifier saga, I told John I'd just get a small one. First ,he corrected me on where to get one. (Not Walgreen's. Walmart. And the Walmart in Jersey because the one in Philly is too crowded. This takes a level of thinking abilities past my speed, so I'm very impressed he could think that much about it.) And, a couple minutes later he asked about the one we already have. I completely forgot we had a small one. It's been 15-25 years since we used it. BUT, heaven forbid if we ever get around to throwing these kinds of things out. Amazing! I found it! I know this sounds like everyday stuff, but look how much thinking of what's at home, and what our neighborhood offers from the guy who asked if our refrigerators fit five days ago! I think his delirium is going away. Whewwwwww! One of my big fears was, because he gets brain fog most the time with CFS, he may never recover enough to deal with both -- all that has happened plus CFS. I was worried his brain would stay like that. (Better than dementia, but still -- just not all there.)
3. The car still isn't right, but the main time it ka-thumps is sharp turns into thin parking spots in the hospital's garage. (That and the hairpin turns to get to different levels is the only time it ka-thumps.) For the last nine weeks, I've discovered that hospital parking garages are easy-parking on weekends, and iffy during the week. Despite that, since I've had the car back, I've found two-space parking each day. (No I don't park in both spaces, but I don't have to worry about hitting the car next to me as much with two spaces.) No ka-thumps. But, I'm now wondering if the shimmy as I'm driving is because it's windy, because I'm hyper-vigilant with car-sounds now, or something else wrong with the wheels developing. Someone (in the Misc. Forum) suggested I take it to a tire center for a second opinion. I hear our temps are going up enough next Monday to start melting the snow, so I'll take it over to our Goodyears for a second opinion. Brownie points: The Goodyears is two blocks from here, so I don't have to wait around until they check it out.
4. John's hips have been in horrible pain for as long as he can remember being awake. (Back when I thought he had back spasms, it wasn't his back. It was his hips.) His hips are in great pain because the beds are short, and they rise, therefore the patient has a tendency to slide down to the foot of the bed. There's a footboard there. He has spent the last 10 weeks consciously or unconsciously semi-standing -- his feet stopping him from continuing his slide. Thus his hips are super sore now. That may sound like something to whine about or worry about, except for four big things! He is now able to verbalize his complaint. They're not brushing it off -- the Nurse Practitioners stopped by to see if they could come up with some kind of way where he's off his tush (bed sore) and hips while lifted up to feed for an hour and a half. Better yet, his nurse probably solved the problem. The foot board comes off! His feet no longer brace him in the bed. All he had to do was promise not to leave the bed that way. lol (His nurse is as funny as he is.) AND, he's getting squirmy from pain and the type of boredom that can only come when you really can't get up to do anything, so you're stuck in bed. Nine weeks of seeing him too weak to notice pain or too weak to squirm from it. I feel kind of guilty for this, but I told him I was glad to see him get to this point. He's now believing he'll never eat again. (I reminded him he didn't think he'd ever drink again or talk again just last week, so it is going to happen. It just takes longer than expected.) I feared I'd never see him get restless again.
5. They measured him for his wheelchair today. That means they expect he'll be able to sit in one without falling out. He's been sitting a little bit better every day for the last four days. I haven't seen this, so that's my sign it's true.
Prayer request though:
1. He can't sleep well. He's been averaging 2-3.5 hours of sleep at night, and he can't sleep in the day at all. (He keeps trying, but it's not happening.) He slept for six weeks, but it's gotten to the point that doesn't count anymore again. And I'm only averaging 4-5 hours a night. (Scary that it doesn't bother me much yet. It has to be effecting me.) So prayers for longer sleep for both of us -- him particularly since he needs to recover his health.
2. Sunday is his birthday. (I finished his Christmas stocking last night. Yay!) My plan has been to bring his stocking stuffers (now modified for hospital-stay comfort items) in on his birthday. Blizzard tomorrow. I won't see him tomorrow, unless they're simply wrong about this storm. Given this storm has wrecked havoc everywhere it's gone so far, I don't think they're wrong. But Sunday is his birthday! I want him to have a memorable/good one. I asked his nurse for that, although my definition of "good present ideas" has changed. I'd like him to taste something. I'd like him to eat. I'd like him to drink soda or coffee. If not that, then a wild ride around the unit. (Bed, chair, gurney -- I don't care how, just to have him do something fun and different.) If not that, to see below outside his window -- see the trees with snow on them or see our stadiums. (Stadiums are close to us, so it's sort of like seeing home.) He needs to celebrate his birthday! The nurse said, if he can't eat by then, he might be able to talk that day's nurse into letting him use one of the sponge-mouth-swabs after dipping it in coffee. His eyes rolled in delight. I want to bring that coffee for him. (He's really into coffee, so it has to be good coffee.) I want to bring his stocking. I made it this big to fit the teddy bears in it. (I'll bring them home, so he doesn't worry they'll get stolen again.) I bought him a hair brush, a lighted nails clipper, (his nails are longer than mine now), Blistex, lotion, and baby wipes, so he can clean his own face when he wants. And, I'll bring in the customized calendar for this year. (An add-your-own-photos, so he gets to see 12 months of photos from our lives.) Not exciting, but he'll love it.
BUT the weather and roads have to cooperate. And, to go whole hog -- my big dream is he can taste some of the Jewish apple cake I'm making for his birthday. If they fear he can't swallow that big, I'll add milk, put it in the blender and turn it into a thick milkshake.
His birthday! He didn't get Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, or even MLK Day. He needs to celebrate!
