My wife is having a breakdown
- Thread starter TheLearner
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Larry should have been shown how to change his bag following his surgery, while he was still hospitalized following his ileostomy. Unless he is completely disabled or incompetent, such as having no hands or a broken arm and/or fingers, and/or has Alzheimer's, there is absolutely no reason why he should not be able to do it himself. The trickiest part my be cutting the opening in the phalanges to fit snugly around the stoma without being so snug it cuts into his body when he moves around. If that is the case, using a guide (some may have been provided by the hospital) to get the proper dimensions is certainly helpful, and making his own out of something a little more sturdy than the paper guides provided may also help; a very thin cardboard works well. Going up one size in the supplies needed may also be quite helpful, as this gives more room to maneuver the scissors while cutting the opening. He may have been told that the pouch needs to be changed/replaced every four or five days, but there is no reason why each pouch cannot be used for a week or more as long as it functional and intact.
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Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
—Proverbs 31:30
—Proverbs 31:30
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Why are you allowing his childish behavior to terrorize your wife and manipulate you? Larry should be counting his blessings for the life-saving surgery he has had, and consider the bag his temporary friend, not to mention being more grateful to you and your wife for taking him in in the first place, without putting too much responsibility on you. Does he at least empty it by himself? Does he rinse it out after emptying before closing it up again? Since you are allowing him to call the shots, I wonder if he is laying down or at least reclined when you change his bag, and also how often you change it. Do you use adhesive removers and skin prep powder? I wonder too if he could get some kind of medical counselling and extra guidance around this. There really is no legitimate reason for Larry not to change his own bag himself if he is physically capable. Otherwise it is purely a phycological hindrance, and an extra unnecessary burden on you and your wife.
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A troublesome situation that is wearing you and your wife down can be resolved with trying to come up with an alternative solution.
There must be organizations out for an answer.
Can you hire a health care worker to do that?
Is he a vet? There may be help through one of those organizations.
Just MHO! 😉
There must be organizations out for an answer.
Can you hire a health care worker to do that?
Is he a vet? There may be help through one of those organizations.
Just MHO! 😉
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